Urban planning community

+ Reply to thread
Results 1 to 19 of 19

Thread: Planners tool kit

  1. #1
    Cyburbian Tom R's avatar
    Registered
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Akron
    Posts
    2,255

    Planners tool kit

    I want to come up with handy items that planners really need in their daily work. I'll start.

    1. A coal miner's head lamp and hard hat (For when the Planning Commission caves in on something)

    2. A gross of crying towels. (For developers or whomever who don't like the staff report)

    3. A case of KY jelly. (For obvious reasons)

    4. Mobile defibrilators (For staff, useful when the Commission agrees with the staff or says something intelligent).
    WALSTIB

  2. #2
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
    Registered
    Mar 1996
    Location
    Upstate New York
    Posts
    14,583
    Blog entries
    3
    5. A Giant Clue Stick (tm). If you don't know why you need it, the Giant Clue Stick (tm) should be tested on you.

    6. A framed photograph of Lenin, Stalin, or Marx, to reinforce others' beliefs that you're a communist.

    7. The Green Book.
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  3. #3
    Cyburbian el Guapo's avatar
    Registered
    Oct 2001
    Location
    Samsara
    Posts
    5,075
    8. A big box of righteous indignation for that first year of our career.

    9. A box of chips for our shoulders when we figure out no one listens to us.

    10. A can of who-gives-a-shit for late in our careers when we look back on our legacy.

  4. #4
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
    Registered
    Mar 1996
    Location
    Upstate New York
    Posts
    14,583
    Blog entries
    3
    11. A chainsaw.
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  5. #5
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
    Registered
    Aug 2001
    Location
    Jukin' City
    Posts
    16,617
    12. Secret agenda, bottom draw, left side of the desk.
    I think that one of the great signs of security is the ability to just walk away.

  6. #6
    13. Don't forget the "real" plans that we keep from the public

    14. Beer, lots and lots of beer.

    15. A piggybank, for all of the bribes we are getting to recommend approvals
    "I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are."

    - Homer Simpson

  7. #7
    Cyburbian Cardinal's avatar
    Registered
    Aug 2001
    Location
    The Cheese State
    Posts
    9,978
    16. A box of "M & M's" -- 7.62mm, 9mm, 10mm...
    17. Cyburbia

  8. #8
    Forums Administrator & Gallery Moderator NHPlanner's avatar
    Registered
    Apr 1996
    Location
    New Hampshire
    Posts
    7,609
    18. A high speed internet connection....posting right now from my mother-in-law's 28.8 is sooooooo slow. :p
    "Growth is inevitable and desirable, but destruction of community character is not. The question is not whether your part of the world is going to change. The question is how." -- Edward T. McMahon, The Conservation Fund

  9. #9
    6. A framed photograph of Lenin, Stalin, or Marx, to reinforce others' beliefs that you're a communist.

    haha. that comes handy down here in Kentucky where people are always accusing planners of expousing socialist or communist values..grin.]

  10. #10
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
    Registered
    Sep 1999
    Location
    400 miles from Orlando
    Posts
    13,775
    Earplugs, for when the next-door neighbors bring out their kids to argue against the rezone/variance/plan amendment

    A straitjacket to confine your co-workers when the public hearing goes bad and they pull out the razor blades

    Caffeine for all the late-night hearings

  11. #11
    Cyburbian SGB's avatar
    Registered
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Champlain-Adirondack Biosphere Reserve
    Posts
    3,387
    22. A can of Whoop-Ass. Just in case we finally snap on someone who really needs it.

    23. An earpiece (a la newscasters), so we can always listen to those who are really calling the shots on applications and policies.
    All these years the people said heís actiní like a kid.
    He did not know he could not fly, so he did.
    - - Guy Clark, "The Cape"

  12. #12
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
    Registered
    Aug 2001
    Location
    South Milwaukee
    Posts
    8,935
    #. "Get out of Public Hearing night free" card

    #. Shackle attached from ankle to chair.

    #. Skittlebrau for the 5PM stress relief.

  13. #13
    Cyburbian H's avatar
    Registered
    Feb 2003
    Location
    MKS
    Posts
    2,847
    Emergency duct-tape for our mouth so we donít accidentally cuss out an idiot politician who wonít listen to reason in front of everyone at the public hearing.


    Side note: and No, I have never actually done this, but have wanted to many-o-time.
    "Those who plan do better than those who do not plan, even though they rarely stick to their plan." - Winston Churchill

  14. #14
    Cyburbian Tom R's avatar
    Registered
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Akron
    Posts
    2,255

    tools

    # The phone number of a bail bondsman.
    # A spray bottle of hide toughner.
    # AA membership.
    WALSTIB

  15. #15
    Cyburbian
    Registered
    Aug 2002
    Location
    On the dark side and feeling divine!
    Posts
    202
    A magic button on the phone that automatically slaps some sense into the person on the other end. I would have used this last week on the lady who thought that we kept copies of all of the land surveys in the city.

  16. #16
    Cyburbian Plus PlannerGirl's avatar
    Registered
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Va
    Posts
    4,604
    a "your number is_" for folks who whine about the wooded lot they dont want to see developed. then BUY it!!!

    False teeth from griding your teeth to keep from telling some dork off
    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin

    Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO- HOO what a ride!'"

  17. #17
    Cyburbian ecofem's avatar
    Registered
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    203
    Originally posted by plannerkat
    A magic button on the phone that automatically slaps some sense into the person on the other end. I would have used this last week on the lady who thought that we kept copies of all of the land surveys in the city.
    Wow. I have a suspicion I might know who that lady is..... no not me.... but somebody who called me as well.

  18. #18
    Cyburbian donk's avatar
    Registered
    Sep 2001
    Location
    skating on thin ice
    Posts
    6,958
    Earplugs, for when the next-door neighbors bring out their kids to argue against the rezone/variance/plan amendment
    As a supplement to the above, a pitch key or tuning fork so that when they sing "let it be" it will at least be in key.

    False teeth from griding your teeth to keep from telling some dork off
    Fortunately my health plan covered my "bite plate" for sleeping as I was grinding my teeth. I guess that is why civil servants have such good benefit packages.
    Too lazy to beat myself up for being to lazy to beat myself up for being too lazy to... well you get the point....

  19. #19
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
    Registered
    Aug 2001
    Location
    South Milwaukee
    Posts
    8,935

    Seeds.

    Yes, seeds. We plant lots of them. Many things I thought of in my first job 13 years ago, and put to print, are finally happening in that town. Time + staff turnover +sometimes = buy in.

    Im passing through there next weekend. In a lame duck / WTF way, Im actually looking forawrd to it.

+ Reply to thread

More at Cyburbia

  1. The right tool for the job
    Friday Afternoon Club
    Replies: 0
    Last post: 22 Jul 2012, 2:24 PM
  2. A citizen planner's tool box
    Make No Small Plans
    Replies: 30
    Last post: 03 Jan 2012, 6:09 AM
  3. Solar simulation tool
    Information Technology
    Replies: 2
    Last post: 19 Feb 2007, 3:46 PM