I want to come up with handy items that planners really need in their daily work. I'll start.
1. A coal miner's head lamp and hard hat (For when the Planning Commission caves in on something)
2. A gross of crying towels. (For developers or whomever who don't like the staff report)
3. A case of KY jelly. (For obvious reasons)
4. Mobile defibrilators (For staff, useful when the Commission agrees with the staff or says something intelligent).
WALSTIB
5. A Giant Clue Stick (tm). If you don't know why you need it, the Giant Clue Stick (tm) should be tested on you.
6. A framed photograph of Lenin, Stalin, or Marx, to reinforce others' beliefs that you're a communist.
7. The Green Book.
Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey
8. A big box of righteous indignation for that first year of our career.
9. A box of chips for our shoulders when we figure out no one listens to us.
10. A can of who-gives-a-shit for late in our careers when we look back on our legacy.
11. A chainsaw.
Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey
12. Secret agenda, bottom draw, left side of the desk.
A nuisance may be merely a right thing in the wrong place — like a pig in the parlor instead of the barnyard.
13. Don't forget the "real" plans that we keep from the public
14. Beer, lots and lots of beer.
15. A piggybank, for all of the bribes we are getting to recommend approvals
"I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
- Homer Simpson
16. A box of "M & M's" -- 7.62mm, 9mm, 10mm...
17. Cyburbia
18. A high speed internet connection....posting right now from my mother-in-law's 28.8 is sooooooo slow. :p
"Growth is inevitable and desirable, but destruction of community character is not. The question is not whether your part of the world is going to change. The question is how." -- Edward T. McMahon, The Conservation Fund
6. A framed photograph of Lenin, Stalin, or Marx, to reinforce others' beliefs that you're a communist.
haha. that comes handy down here in Kentucky where people are always accusing planners of expousing socialist or communist values..grin.]
Earplugs, for when the next-door neighbors bring out their kids to argue against the rezone/variance/plan amendment
A straitjacket to confine your co-workers when the public hearing goes bad and they pull out the razor blades
Caffeine for all the late-night hearings
22. A can of Whoop-Ass. Just in case we finally snap on someone who really needs it.
23. An earpiece (a la newscasters), so we can always listen to those who are really calling the shots on applications and policies.
All these years the people said he’s actin’ like a kid.
He did not know he could not fly, so he did.
- - Guy Clark, "The Cape"
#. "Get out of Public Hearing night free" card
#. Shackle attached from ankle to chair.
#. Skittlebrau for the 5PM stress relief.
Emergency duct-tape for our mouth so we don’t accidentally cuss out an idiot politician who won’t listen to reason in front of everyone at the public hearing.
Side note: and No, I have never actually done this, but have wanted to many-o-time.
"Those who plan do better than those who do not plan, even though they rarely stick to their plan." - Winston Churchill
# The phone number of a bail bondsman.
# A spray bottle of hide toughner.
# AA membership.
WALSTIB
A magic button on the phone that automatically slaps some sense into the person on the other end. I would have used this last week on the lady who thought that we kept copies of all of the land surveys in the city.
a "your number is_" for folks who whine about the wooded lot they dont want to see developed. then BUY it!!!
False teeth from griding your teeth to keep from telling some dork off
"They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin
Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO- HOO what a ride!'"
Wow. I have a suspicion I might know who that lady is..... no not me.... but somebody who called me as well.Originally posted by plannerkat
A magic button on the phone that automatically slaps some sense into the person on the other end. I would have used this last week on the lady who thought that we kept copies of all of the land surveys in the city.
As a supplement to the above, a pitch key or tuning fork so that when they sing "let it be" it will at least be in key.Earplugs, for when the next-door neighbors bring out their kids to argue against the rezone/variance/plan amendment
Fortunately my health plan covered my "bite plate" for sleeping as I was grinding my teeth. I guess that is why civil servants have such good benefit packages.False teeth from griding your teeth to keep from telling some dork off
Too lazy to beat myself up for being to lazy to beat myself up for being too lazy to... well you get the point....
Yes, seeds. We plant lots of them. Many things I thought of in my first job 13 years ago, and put to print, are finally happening in that town. Time + staff turnover +sometimes = buy in.
Im passing through there next weekend. In a lame duck / WTF way, Im actually looking forawrd to it.
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