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Thread: Revenge of the tattoo artist...

  1. #1
    Cyburbian nerudite's avatar
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    Revenge of the tattoo artist...

    Okay, I have no idea if this is true... but, it's pretty damn funny regardless.

    Because the site is down a lot, here is the text of the article:

    Pitt junior Brandon Smith wanted a tattoo that proclaimed his manliness, so he decided to get the Chinese characters for “strength” and “honor” on his chest. After 20 minutes under the needle of local tattoo artist Andy Sakai, he emerged with the symbol for “small penis” embedded in his flesh.

    “I had it for months before I knew what it really meant,” Smith said.

    “Then I went jogging through the Carnegie Mellon campus and a group of Asian kids started laughing and calling me ‘Shorty.’ That’s when I knew something was up.”

    Sakai, an award-winning tattoo artist, was tired of seeing sacred Japanese words, symbols of his heritage, inked on random white people. So he used their blissful ignorance to make an everlasting statement. Any time acustomer came to Sakai’s home studio wanting Japanese tattooed on them, he modified it into a profane word or phrase.

    “All these preppy sorority girls and suburban rich boys think they’re so cool ‘cause they have a tattoo with Japanese characters. But it doesn’t mean shit to them!” Sakai said. “The dumbasses don’t even realize that I’ve written ‘slut’ or ‘pervert’ on their skin!”

    In the last month, seven people unknowingly received explicit tattoos from the disgruntled artist. Kerri Baker, a Carlow College freshman, paid $50 to have the symbols for “beautiful goddess” etched above her belly button, but when she went into Szechuan Express Asian Noodle Shop sporting a bare midriff, the giggling employees explained to her that the tattoo really said, “Insert General Tso’s Chicken Here!”

    “I don’t even like General Tso’s!” Baker sobbed. “I’m a vegetarian!”

    Sakai doesn’t feel guilty about using hapless college students as canvases for his graffiti.

    “I think I’m helping my fellow man by labeling all the stupid people in the world,” he explained. “It’s not a crime, it’s a public service.”




    Above: Symbols on the back of a Pitt student inked by Sakai (inset) were originally meant to say “princess.” They really say “prostitute.”

  2. #2

    Registered
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    Hah!

    Now if someone would do the same thing with those stupid gigantic Japanese window graphics that kids plaster all over their cars.

  3. #3
    Cyburbian
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    bwahahahahahah friggin morons!

    In fact many t-shirts and other apparel with japanese characters have written interesting phrases like :"I like cats", although not profane like slut or pervert :p

    If you're gonna get a tattoo, you better know how it's supposed to look, if not, you're gonna end f*cked up for being naive and stupid.

    There you have it... another darwin award for the 'victims' :p

  4. #4
    Cyburbian Habanero's avatar
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    I have what is basically the character for "truth", but I also checked it out beforehand.

    Now, this may get confusing...my brother's (half, but who's counting) evil step sister got a tattoo on her neck thinking it meant something wonderful, but when she went into a Chinese restaurant they asked her to leave or take her hair down, it was something very profane. She now has a gigantic iguana on her neck to cover it up. Karma bus got her good!
    When Jesus said "love your enemies", he probably didn't mean kill them.

  5. #5
    Cyburbian Plus
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    from SkeLeton
    another darwin award for the victims'
    sorry but
    aren't the Darwin's for those no longer in the gene pool
    not for those culturally and linguistically ignorant!
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  6. #6
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    Originally posted by JNA
    from SkeLeton

    sorry but
    aren't the Darwin's for those no longer in the gene pool
    not for those culturally and linguistically ignorant!
    I suggest we can then the Mullet awards, or the Mullies for short.

  7. #7
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    It's a hoax, although I wouldn't doubt that it hasn't been done to someone before.

    Here's some other stories from the site in question.

    http://www.angelfire.com/pa3/topless...llionstds.html
    http://www.angelfire.com/pa3/topless...hitetrash.html
    http://www.angelfire.com/pa3/topless...rdflorida.html
    http://www.angelfire.com/pa3/topless.../softball.html
    http://www.angelfire.com/pa3/topless...cabanaboy.html

    Looks like a Pitt knockoff of The Onion.
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  8. #8
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    Originally posted by Dan
    It's a hoax, although I wouldn't doubt that it hasn't been done to someone before.

    Looks like a Pitt knockoff of The Onion.
    OMG. I dont care if its a hoax - Ive just bookmarked it. That is some funny crap!

  9. #9

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    Cool! The Onion doesn't make it through our firewall at work!

  10. #10
    Cyburbian nerudite's avatar
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    Originally posted by Dan
    It's a hoax, although I wouldn't doubt that it hasn't been done to someone before.

    Looks like a Pitt knockoff of The Onion.
    I was kind of wondering about that. I figured it was a hoax... but it's still funny.

  11. #11
    Cyburbian Jeff's avatar
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    Thats some good stuff, but regardless I doubt its true. But....I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who don't research the languages they get tattooed on themselves.

  12. #12
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    Oh that is too funny, I have a friend who is cop. He has one that might say to serve and protect. I think it says, I beat people.
    Not my monkey, not my circus. - Old Polish Proverb

  13. #13
    Cyburbian donk's avatar
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    I have a really old Fat City Cycles T-shirt that is suppoed to say "made in america" in japanese on it. Considering some of the looks I used to get when i wore it I think it may say something else.
    Too lazy to beat myself up for being to lazy to beat myself up for being too lazy to... well you get the point....

  14. #14
    Cyburbian biscuit's avatar
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    Originally posted by Chet
    OMG. I dont care if its a hoax - Ive just bookmarked it. That is some funny crap!
    Damn, that is a funny website, even if you're not familiar with the South Oakland in Pittsburgh, which is a really errr....intersting (must be a civic booster and not speak real opinion) neighborhood. Yeah, that's it.

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