German penises 'too small for EU condoms'
Germany has demanded a rethink on EU guidelines on condom size after finding its average penis did not measure up.
Doctors around Essen were ordered by the government's health department to check out the average size suggested by Brussels.
They reported the EU has overestimated the size of the average penis by almost 20% and insist other countries will discover the same.
Urologist Gunther Hagler, head of the team compiling the research, said: "By checking hundreds of patients we found German penises were too small for standard EU condoms.
"On average they were 14.48 cms long and 3.95 cms wide. That makes them much smaller than the EU standard condom size of 17 cms in length and 5.6 cms in width."
He denied the German man was any smaller than the rest of Europe, adding: "We think the EU has got its sums wrong, and if other countries were to check out their men's assets they would find the EU has made a mistake in its calculations.
"There should be a rethink and the EU statisticians should check their figures again. After all, they have also ruled EU standard condoms should be able to hold 18 litres of fluid without breaking, which also seems a bit excessive."