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Thread: Things that will happen in California if Conan the Republican wins

  1. #1
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    Things that will happen in California if Conan the Republican wins

    1) California wineries ravaged due to frequent visits by Maria's side of the family.

    2) His first duty in office: to crush his enemies, see them driven before him, and to hear the lamentation of their women.

    3) Signs at the Mexican border will reade "Hasta la vista, baby!"

    4) Governor controls next Watts riot single-handedly.
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  2. #2
    There will be a nuclear war and Linda Hamilton will have to save the world

  3. #3
    Cyburbian el Guapo's avatar
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    Madcap Governorís cabinet made up solely of kindergarteners will result in many hijinks!

    Alien invaders (Mexicans?) will be destoyed with own self-destruct devices.

    Gov will peel back skin of his robotic hand to proving he is from the future to scare lobbists.

  4. #4
    Short, fat, Italian twin will show up and live in the Governor's Mansion.
    "I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are."

    - Homer Simpson

  5. #5
    Cyburbian Jeff's avatar
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    I will move there when the dank is legalized ...

  6. #6
    Cyburbian nerudite's avatar
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    As part of the world's greatest publicity stunt, the newly elected governor descends from heaven on a cloud to amaze the people of California; however, on his descent he scares some old people in a plane...

  7. #7
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    Another Kenndy politician dies a tragic early death.

  8. #8
    I will move there when the dank is legalized
    20 plant maximum in Mendocino county (no joke). Pisses the feds off to high heaven. See you soon, don't rent a UHaul.

  9. #9
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Children must become bodybuilders to earn college scholarships

  10. #10
    Cyburbian
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    Defense contractors (true lies) flee the state :p

  11. #11
    Member Wulf9's avatar
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    The state will have a $38 billion dollar deficit and conservative Republicans won't allow a tax increase to pay for services.

    Hey, that's what we have now.

  12. #12

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    Originally posted by Wulf9
    The state will have a $38 billion dollar deficit and conservative Republicans won't allow a tax increase to pay for services.
    The Governator will front the State of California $38 billion of his own cash to cover the deficit.

  13. #13
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    Arnold's German accent will increase tolerance for that kind of thing. This will result in my kids no longer laughing at me and making fun of me when I apply German grammar to English and it comes out sounding weird.

    (The curse of growing up in a bi-lingual home: Mom would not teach me German growing up but her weird way of speaking English rubbed off on me. It doesn't sound Funny to me when I say those things. Sounds totally Normal to my ear.)

  14. #14
    Unfrozen Caveman Planner mendelman's avatar
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    Administration's Tag Line:

    "May the Schwarz be with you."
    I'm sorry. Is my bias showing?

    Let's not be didactic in this profession, because that is a path to disillusion and irrelevancy.

    Six seasons and a movie!

  15. #15
    Cyburbian Duke Of Dystopia's avatar
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    I am a huge Ahhhnold FAN!

    But am I the only one who thinks of the german scientist in "Dr. Strangelove" when he speaks?

    I can't deliver UTOPIA, but I can create a HELL for you to LIVE in :)DoD:(

  16. #16
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    New bumper stickers directed towards Minnesota

    Your Governor can't beat up our Governor.
    Not my monkey, not my circus. - Old Polish Proverb

  17. #17
    Member Wulf9's avatar
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    I suspect that Arnold will find Hollywood gossip magazines to be "kind and gentle" compared to the dirt that will be flung his way in the political process. Unless, of course, the tightly-controlled media won't print the nasties in his background that are now being researched.

    Another possibility is that the ultra conservative Republicans (and that is the majority of California Republicans) will vote against the recall because they think Arnold is too soft. (likes kids. Might even want to spend some money on their education, health care, and quality of life.)

  18. #18
    Cyburbian Tom R's avatar
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    strangelove

    But am I the only one who thinks of the german scientist in "Dr. Strangelove" when he speaks?

    Scarry ain't it. Put Aaahnold, Henry Kissinger in the same room and add Werner Von Braun, and there you have it, the fourth reich.

    I'm a great Peter Sellers fan. I think he would have been a better gov. or maybe Attorney General. "I would like a lrume."
    WALSTIB

  19. #19
    Gunfighter Mastiff's avatar
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    Slogan for re-election will be...

    "I'll be back!"
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    C'mon and get me you twist of fate
    I'm standing right here Mr. Destiny
    If you want to talk well then I'll relate
    If you don't so what cause you don't scare me

  20. #20
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    Re: strangelove

    Originally posted by Tom R
    Scarry ain't it. Put Aaahnold, Henry Kissinger in the same room and add Werner Von Braun, and there you have it, the fourth reich.
    UMM I thought Ahnold was Austrian?

  21. #21
    Cyburbian Duke Of Dystopia's avatar
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    Re: Re: strangelove

    Originally posted by Chet
    UMM I thought Ahnold was Austrian?
    The Austrians don't get a free pass from the connection. They have thier share of dirty hands
    I can't deliver UTOPIA, but I can create a HELL for you to LIVE in :)DoD:(

  22. #22
         
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    Gyms will become as common as Starbucks. Girly-man members of his staff who do not pass fitness tests will be sent to Hans and Franz. They will PUMP (hand clap) YOU UP!

  23. #23

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    It'll Be Ugly, For Sure...

    Well, let me let you in on what I've been reading in my tea leaves. (Before smoking them, of course...)

    Both Santa Monica and Berkeley will declare their independence from the state of California, asserting their
    right to secede and to distance themselves from "politically
    incorrect" acts to committed by Gov. Terminator-Perpetrator. Their "collective" action is sanctioned (at least in their view) by the wide use of the term "The Peoples' Republic of........."
    when referring to their municipalities. Soon to follow in declaring in their footsteps are Boulder, Colorado, Madison, Wisconsin, and Ann Arbor, Michigan.

    Stay tuned, Film @ 11.....

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