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Thread: New game

  1. #1
    Corn Burning Fool giff57's avatar
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    New game

    Ok folks, you've heard of this game. Add to the epic novel I am about to start below.

    It was a dark and stormy night. The storm sewers were overcharged because the idiot engineer forgot to calculate the water coming off the Super Walmart parking lot. Dirk and Linda Lou had just exited the Wal Mart parking lot when their car stalled in the standing water. Linda said "Dirk.........
    ďAs soon as public service ceases to be the chief business of the citizens, and they would rather serve with their money than with their persons, the State is not far from its fallĒ
    Jean-Jacques Rousseau

  2. #2
    Member green lizard's avatar
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    Re: New game

    Originally posted by giff57
    Ok folks, you've heard of this game. Add to the epic novel I am about to start below.

    It was a dark and stormy night. The storm sewers were overcharged because the idiot engineer forgot to calculate the water coming off the Super Walmart parking lot. Dirk and Linda Lou had just exited the Wal Mart parking lot when their car stalled in the standing water. Linda said "Dirk.........
    "EEEEEEEE!". and Dirk screamed,"Get out and swim for it!"
    and he dove out the window into the inky black water leaving
    Linda to scream, "EEEEEEEEEEE!" She then relized that Dirk
    was a wus and wa not coming back for her. She dove into the
    cold, cold water and under her flimsy tee-shirt she felt her......

  3. #3
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Re: Re: New game

    Originally posted by green lizard
    "EEEEEEEE!". and Dirk screamed,"Get out and swim for it!"
    and he dove out the window into the inky black water leaving
    Linda to scream, "EEEEEEEEEEE!" She then relized that Dirk
    was a wus and wa not coming back for her. She dove into the
    cold, cold water and under her flimsy tee-shirt she felt her......
    breastfeeding boobs explode because they thought they were in the driver's seat. Dirk immediately realized that Linda Lou would die if he could not rescue her, so he threw an AICP study guide into the water, expecting Linda Lou to grab hold and float until help arrived. He then left to attend a County Commission hearing.

  4. #4
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    Re: Re: Re: New game

    Originally posted by Zoning Goddess
    He then left to attend a County Commission hearing.
    CHAPTER 2

    "ORDER ORDER!" shouted the Chairman. "Or I'll shut this meeting down so help me God"

  5. #5
    Cyburbian Cardinal's avatar
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    Re: Re: Re: Re: New game

    Originally posted by Chet
    CHAPTER 2

    "ORDER ORDER!" shouted the Chairman. "Or I'll shut this meeting down so help me God"
    Jenna strode into the room clad in tight-fitting black leather. "You can't invoke God in a public meeting!" She exclaimed. "It's a violation of the separation of church and state!" She tossed back her long blond hair. "Grrr..." she hissed as she cracked her whip.

  6. #6
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: New game

    Originally posted by Michael Stumpf
    Jenna strode into the room clad in tight-fitting black leather. "You can't invoke God in a public meeting!" She exclaimed. "It's a violation of the separation of church and state!" She tossed back her long blond hair. "Grrr..." she hissed as she cracked her whip.
    It then became clear that Jenna was a figment of a Cyburbia male's imagination and was linked to his fantasies of PlannerGirl, whips and chains..

  7. #7
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    Chapter 3. The camera cuts to the Dungeon scene.

    Dan is tied to the table with pink fuzzy hand cuffs. Downtown is canning his shoulders with the cat-o-nine tails. Chet sits in the corner with the videocamera filming every wrything twist and contortion. Prudence cues the music. The room is filled with the '89 smach hit Groove is in the Heart by Dee-Lite.

  8. #8
    Forums Administrator & Gallery Moderator NHPlanner's avatar
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    Originally posted by Chet
    Chapter 3. The camera cuts to the Dungeon scene.

    Dan is tied to the table with pink fuzzy hand cuffs. Downtown is canning his shoulders with the cat-o-nine tails. Chet sits in the corner with the videocamera filming every wrything twist and contortion. Prudence cues the music. The room is filled with the '89 smach hit Groove is in the Heart by Dee-Lite.
    When suddenly.....BZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZ.....

    Awakening in a cold sweat, Michael Stumpf rises from his bed, to see a possum staring back at him outside his bedroom window.....
    "Growth is inevitable and desirable, but destruction of community character is not. The question is not whether your part of the world is going to change. The question is how." -- Edward T. McMahon, The Conservation Fund

  9. #9
    Cyburbian H's avatar
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    Originally posted by NHPlanner
    When suddenly.....BZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZ.....

    Awakening in a cold sweat, Michael Stumpf rises from his bed, to see a possum staring back at him outside his bedroom window.....
    And he said my lord, thatís no possum, thatís an O possum , and it has my grandfathers gold retirement watch in his mouthÖ
    "Those who plan do better than those who do not plan, even though they rarely stick to their plan." - Winston Churchill

  10. #10
    Forums Administrator & Gallery Moderator NHPlanner's avatar
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    Originally posted by Huston
    And he said my lord, thatís no possum, thatís an O possum , and it has my grandfathers gold retirement watch in his mouthÖ
    After carefully removing the watch from it's mouth, and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, Stumpf realized this is no O possum.....it's a raccoon!
    "Growth is inevitable and desirable, but destruction of community character is not. The question is not whether your part of the world is going to change. The question is how." -- Edward T. McMahon, The Conservation Fund

  11. #11
    Cyburbian el Guapo's avatar
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    Sure it was a Racoon. The UN agreed it should be a rodent. That much was established...but back to the watch. It was the very same gold retirement watch that Neil Armstong took to the moon aboard Apollo 11, the same watch that Ho-Chi-Minh was given by Jane Fonda, the watch that held the microfilm the Albanians were so desperate to gain posession of...

  12. #12
    Cyburbian Cardinal's avatar
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    The raccoon was safe, at least for now. Still, the Albanians were getting close -- too close. All day long a shadowy figure in a Hawiian shirt, with straws protuding from his nose, kept stalking the poor animal, intent of killing it. If he was going to fight off the Albanians, Scruffy would need massive ordinance. The only place to find that kind of firepower was in a metro area where "Liberty" and "Independence" were more than just words.

  13. #13
    Member simulcra's avatar
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    Originally posted by Michael Stumpf
    The raccoon was safe, at least for now. Still, the Albanians were getting close -- too close. All day long a shadowy figure in a Hawiian shirt, with straws protuding from his nose, kept stalking the poor animal, intent of killing it. If he was going to fight off the Albanians, Scruffy would need massive ordinance. The only place to find that kind of firepower was in a metro area where "Liberty" and "Independence" were more than just words.
    While scruffy was contemplating his options, suddenly, a man on a bar stool in slow pursuit by the police ran over him. The blood exploded everywhere in grutesque grimness. Dirk, who happened to be passing by, got caught in the blast radius, and he began to shout, "

  14. #14
    Cyburbian donk's avatar
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    OT / Fact Check

    walmart claims that there will never be any standing water in their parking lots fo rmore then 5 minutes and that all 1/100 year storms will clear teh lot within 15 minutes. The standing water at teh beginning of the story is just so unbelievable, now the parts about scruffy the international raccoon of mystery....
    Too lazy to beat myself up for being to lazy to beat myself up for being too lazy to... well you get the point....

  15. #15
    Cyburbian DecaturHawk's avatar
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    Originally posted by Michael Stumpf
    The raccoon was safe, at least for now. Still, the Albanians were getting close -- too close. All day long a shadowy figure in a Hawiian shirt, with straws protuding from his nose, kept stalking the poor animal, intent of killing it. If he was going to fight off the Albanians, Scruffy would need massive ordinance. The only place to find that kind of firepower was in a metro area where "Liberty" and "Independence" were more than just words.
    Originally posted by Solpsa
    While scruffy was contemplating his options, suddenly, a man on a bar stool in slow pursuit by the police ran over him. The blood exploded everywhere in grutesque grimness. Dirk, who happened to be passing by, got caught in the blast radius, and he began to shout, "
    "Kansas City! Kansas City is the only metro area where Liberty and Independence are more than just words! Hie thee to Kansas City, and avoid thee any connections via St. Louis! And don't be put off by the fact that the airport is an hour from downtown! Go! Go!"

  16. #16
    Cyburbian Cardinal's avatar
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    There's only one person who can save Scruffy, the watch, and the barstool... Prudence.

  17. #17
    Corn Burning Fool giff57's avatar
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    Originally posted by Michael Stumpf
    There's only one person who can save Scruffy, the watch, and the barstool... Prudence.
    Prudence is a private dick with an eye for the ladies, even the punked out blue haired ones. .....
    ďAs soon as public service ceases to be the chief business of the citizens, and they would rather serve with their money than with their persons, the State is not far from its fallĒ
    Jean-Jacques Rousseau

  18. #18
    Cyburbian Plus PlannerGirl's avatar
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    ah but will his Republican ways prevent him from helping our Scruffy, poor little beast.
    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin

    Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO- HOO what a ride!'"

  19. #19
    Cyburbian tsc's avatar
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    He stuffed Scruffy in his shirt, grabbed his wallet, and headed for Kansas City. Time was of the essence, so he ran to his silver Volvo 240 sedan and sped down the road....
    "Yeehaw!" is not a foreign policy

    Renovating the '62 Metzendorf
    http://metzendorf.blogspot.com/

  20. #20
    Cyburbian Plus PlannerGirl's avatar
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    Gotta get scruffy to that new huge store-lots of room to hide there~!
    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin

    Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO- HOO what a ride!'"

  21. #21
    Cyburbian tsc's avatar
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    He was speeding down the road, and saw a Nebraska Funiture Mart, and thought...there must be a place to hide Scruffy there.
    "Yeehaw!" is not a foreign policy

    Renovating the '62 Metzendorf
    http://metzendorf.blogspot.com/

  22. #22
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    Then the world realized that scruffy was a euphemism for anal sex, that Prudence was a log cabin republican, and there was indeed a solution.

    To his good fortune, in walked Mike D.

  23. #23
    Cyburbian Cityscape Dreamer's avatar
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    Originally posted by ts corbitt
    He was speeding down the road, and saw a Nebraska Funiture Mart, and thought...there must be a place to hide Scruffy there.
    He instead turned into the Cabela's store next door, where, unbeknownst to him, Scruffy's own long lost mother sits on permanent display in the taxidermy supply aisle.

  24. #24
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Originally posted by ts corbitt
    He stuffed Scruffy in his shirt, grabbed his wallet, and headed for Kansas City. Time was of the essence, so he ran to his silver Volvo 240 sedan and sped down the road....
    He must get Scruffy to Nebraska Furniture Mart, the greatest big-box of all, in Kansas City. Perhaps Dan has escaped from the pink fuzzies and will be there.

  25. #25
    Cyburbian Queen B's avatar
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    He must get Scruffy to Nebraska Furniture Mart, the greatest big-box of all, in Kansas City. Perhaps Dan has escaped from the pink fuzzies and will be there.

    Of course Dan is there, still in his pink fuzzies. The Dungeon furniture is one of the displays at Nebraska Furniture Mart. Whips and chains and handcuffs have always sold HOT in the bible belt.

    AND Dan says "Darn Downtown, thought we would have been out of here before the place opened.
    It is all a matter of perspective!!!

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