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Thread: Who Wants to Marry My Daughter (Why Mass is Going to Hell #1)

  1. #1
    Cyburbian Seabishop's avatar
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    Who Wants to Marry My Daughter (Why Mass is Going to Hell #1)

    Massachusetts woman holds contest to pick a boyfriend for her 22 year old daughter (who has a 4 year old daughter herself).

    What does the winner get? "The young couple will then enjoy a romantic night at a Cuddle and Bubble motel in Cape Cod, complete with an in-room Jacuzzi and a heart-shaped bed."

    So, yes, the contest is for someone to @#$% her daughter at the Cuddle and Bubble. Keep in mind the 4 year old is witnessing mommy being sold for a night to the most professional and well rounded guy. I know she's supposed to marry him, but that's what it comes accross as to me.

  2. #2
    Cyburbian el Guapo's avatar
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    Pick one.

    "Whore of Babylon" or "seems about par for the these times."

    The next young girl singing sensation will be a XXX porn cuttie. You don't have much room left between porn and Christina & Britney, do you?

    It will just be a matter of time until the ACLU defends the porn stars to elementary school teachers program - sponsored by Larry Flynt.

    Cleanse society with fire is my old testament solution. (Sorry Mike D.)


  3. #3
    Cyburbian SlaveToTheGrind's avatar
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    Please....where do I....not sign up.

  4. #4
    Cyburbian H's avatar
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    That is insane, but I am not shocked by it in any way. :-S
    "Those who plan do better than those who do not plan, even though they rarely stick to their plan." - Winston Churchill

  5. #5
    Cyburbian Duke Of Dystopia's avatar
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    XXX Porn Star/Entertainers/Teachers?


    WOOOOO WHOOOOOO!!!!!!!

    "I'M HOT FOR TEACHER"!
    I can't deliver UTOPIA, but I can create a HELL for you to LIVE in :)DoD:(

  6. #6
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    From the CNN article:

    "The last guy she dated prompted my husband and I to do this," she said. "He was covered in tattoos, was a lot older than she is and was just horrifying. She has no taste in men."

    "We have to make the decision because if there's one bad guy and one good guy she'll pick the bad one."
    Nothing unusual about that. Seems like the usual dating preferences of most North American women.

    (turns and runs)
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  7. #7
    Cyburbian Seabishop's avatar
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    Originally posted by Dan

    Nothing unusual about that. Seems like the usual dating preferences of most North American women.

    I hope not. I've got only about 12 years before I have to start seeing guys like this at my door.



    Does anybody have any tips on being an intimidating father of teenage girls? Keep in mind I don't look the least bit intimidating. I'm sure just bringing 'em up right is the key but scaring away a few punks with bad intentions does count for something.

  8. #8
    Member simulcra's avatar
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    move to texas and keep a benelli shotgun by the door. that'll be intimidating.

  9. #9
    Cyburbian Seabishop's avatar
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    Originally posted by Solipsa
    move to texas and keep a benelli shotgun by the door. that'll be intimidating.
    Maybe, but in Texas that's what I'd have to do just to fit in. I'm thinking 12 years of body-building, a scary tattoo I can hide at work, and always holding something that "could" be a weapon in my hands if curfews are violated.

  10. #10
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Originally posted by Dan
    From the CNN article:



    Nothing unusual about that. Seems like the usual dating preferences of most North American women.

    (turns and runs)
    Throwing down the gauntlet, eh? That got me to thinking. I have never actually dated a guy with tattoos. Or one who rode a motorcycle. Hmmm..... maybe it's time to try the bad boys....

  11. #11
    Cyburbian el Guapo's avatar
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    One possible way to meet your goals

    Seabishop,
    Clean your .45 with laser sight on the living room coffee table as he comes to the house to pick her up. On their way out, ask him to wait a moment, and then quietly tell him "Don't do anything to my daughter you wouldn't want me doing to you!" Then click open the switch blade you have been hiding behind your back. He'll hear the sound but he won't see the blade. Then explain that this little chat is his and your secret, and that if your daughter finds out you'll cut him like a Columbian dealer would. Then smile.

  12. #12
    Cyburbian Queen B's avatar
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    Goddess,
    If you have never dated any guys like that then I am afraid you need to turn in your Trailer Trash avatar!
    OR go for the trash baby!!!!
    It is all a matter of perspective!!!

  13. #13
    Cyburbian Cardinal's avatar
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    Re: One possible way to meet your goals

    Originally posted by el Guapo
    Seabishop,
    Clean your .45 with laser sight on the living room coffee table as he comes to the house to pick her up. On their way out, ask him to wait a moment, and then quietly tell him "Don't do anything to my daughter you wouldn't want me doing to you!" Then click open the switch blade you have been hiding behind your back. He'll hear the sound but he won't see the blade. Then explain that this little chat is his and your secret, and that if your daughter finds out you'll cut him like a Columbian dealer would. Then smile.
    What he said. Oh. you might want to let him see that red laser dot on him every once in a while, when he doesn't think you are around, just as a reminder.

  14. #14
    Cyburbian Budgie's avatar
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    Mass. going to hell, try Kansas.

    John Brown makes another appearance. Here's another Kansas original. I hate this man. E.G., is this what you had in mind?

  15. #15
    Cyburbian el Guapo's avatar
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    Re: Mass. going to hell, try Kansas.

    Originally posted by Budgie
    I hate this man. E.G., is this what you had in mind?
    Well, condemnation and hellfire and brimstone sure...but not Fred Phelps style. That's just a little too judgmental. I was kidding about the whole cleanse with fire...using some of that Oxy Clean on the motel room afterwards would be just fine. Spot check it with a woods lamp.

  16. #16
    Cyburbian Queen B's avatar
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    Fred Phelps, not anything for Kansas to be proud of. I certainly hope he has not reached anyone outside of the Kansas boarders with his stupidity.
    It is all a matter of perspective!!!

  17. #17
    Cyburbian donk's avatar
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    Does anybody have any tips on being an intimidating father of teenage girls?
    Not really intimidating, but a way to embarrass them..

    A girl i know from high school's father would sit ont eh front porch and play the banjo when boys came to pick up his daughter. the reason i know this is that a frined was going out with her. We went to pick her up to take her to a party and there he was picking away. The funny thing is my friend had heard about this and took his harmonica and jammed with the guy while the girl got ready. I think it upset teh father more when they broke up then teh daughter.
    Too lazy to beat myself up for being to lazy to beat myself up for being too lazy to... well you get the point....

  18. #18
    Cyburbian
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    now... that's f*cked up! Why can't she pick her own husband? Is she islamic? Could the great evils of Islamism be flourishing in the great ol' USA?!?!

    yeah.. I'm kidding

  19. #19
    Cyburbian Habanero's avatar
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    Originally posted by Seabishop
    [B]
    Does anybody have any tips on being an intimidating father of teenage girls? ]
    I think the most intimidating thing was knowing if a guy picked me up he had to come in and meets my parents. Nothing like knowing your mother would humilitate the guy if he gave a weak handshake.

    My friend's Dad always did the "I'm her father, not your friend" bit on the guys he didn't like that tried to get too chummy with the Dad. It ran those boys off pretty quick.
    When Jesus said "love your enemies", he probably didn't mean kill them.

  20. #20
    Cyburbian H's avatar
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    OT

    Originally posted by Habanero
    Nothing like knowing your mother would humilitate the guy if he gave a weak handshake.
    Ohhhhh, the “dead fish”, it creeps me out when people shake limp! Do you think they know? Why would anyone do this on purpose? I am not a strong guy, but I make darn sure to put in a firm handshake, is that too much to ask of other people? Soo creepy...
    "Those who plan do better than those who do not plan, even though they rarely stick to their plan." - Winston Churchill

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