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Poll results: How to meet people

Voters
31. You may not vote on this poll
  • Go out, and just start talking to people at bars

    3 9.68%
  • Go to the college library and try to look smart

    1 3.23%
  • Go to sporting events and try to strike up a conversation

    1 3.23%
  • Go to the gym and hope that I get a treadmill next to a hottie

    5 16.13%
  • Join a public service organization

    10 32.26%
  • Hang out at church

    2 6.45%
  • Walk into the College Coffee shop and use my best Philly accent and ask How You Doin?

    7 22.58%
  • Other (explain more below)

    9 29.03%
  • None of the above… and get a life.

    5 16.13%
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Thread: How to meet people

  1. #1
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    How to meet people

    One thing that I have noticed after the move, and I thought I would bring it up here.

    It is so much easier to meet people here in the Mid West than it was in PA. People here seem more willing to open up and talk.

    BUT, I *now being single and all* have a quest to meet new people.

    What would your list of do's and don't in the world of meeting new people? What would your conversation topics include? What tips would you former bachelors have for a young single guy, looking to make friends, and maybe more? And what tips would you players have for … well… we don’t need to explain why?

    Keep in mind, I have not found another guy out here who could be a wing man for me, so much of this is me going out on a limb and going to bars, and other places alone. But I have no fear of talking to people!

    Today, I am going to go look at a new gym that I am thinking about joining to see if they have a good weight room, and steam room and sauna, pool, and of course many people about my age.

    But I would still like to hear everyone else’s ideas!
    Not my monkey, not my circus. - Old Polish Proverb

  2. #2
    Cyburbian el Guapo's avatar
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    Live your life true to the things you like to do and be open to new experiences. Don't ever fake it. Never take up a hobby or join a group just to meet someone.


















    Also consider high school chicks.

  3. #3
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    Internet hook ups!

  4. #4
    Cyburbian Big Easy King's avatar
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    Ask a female co-worker to hook you up with one of her nice or "bad" girlfriends (whomever floats your boat). However, make sure that you're being hooked up with a female!!!
    A person who strives is one who thrives. It's GREAT to be THE KING!!!

  5. #5
    Cyburbian
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    Wait a minute... are you saying that there are 'other people'? You guys are not a figment of my imagination? Friggin unbelievable

    Meeting people.. that's tough.. I can't help ya there... just be yourself.. although that ain't helping much in my case

    Originally posted by The Clown formely know as Chet:
    Internet hook ups!
    Sure.. if you want to end hooked up with a 58 year old pedofile that you could swear was a 19 year old girl. yuck...

  6. #6
    Cyburbian JNL's avatar
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    Well obviously the place you go will influence the sort of people you will meet. Just be friendly and take up any invitations to social gatherings. I think most of my closest friends now are friends of people I lived with or worked with when I moved to the area.

  7. #7
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    I'm going to be moving to a new city (Cleveland) in a few weeks.

    I'm social, but shy, so I tend to have a difficult time meeting people.

    Because I have dogs, I'm forced into a commute from Hell; nobody within a half hour of where I work will rent to me, Bailey and Guinness. I'll probably end up in Cleveland Heights or a neighborhood near downtown Cleveland (Ohio City, Tremont), which are more urban and social than the far eastern 'burbs.

    There's match.com if you're looking to date. I've had mixed results with speed dating.

    Cleveland feels more like home, so I'm more inclined to feel rooted, and establish closer ties to the community. Volunteer organizations, church, neighborhood groups, that sort of thing ... I want to get involved.
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  8. #8
    Cyburbian Rem's avatar
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    Most of my long term friends other than those I got thrown in with (school, Uni, work) derive from sporting teams or clubs. I think it is consistent with what eG said about pursuing things you are genuinely interested in. Me its sport and with a common bond participating in, coaching or simply talking sport helps a lot. As with Dan I am quite shy and being part of a group with a common focus helps break some ice.

    I note the "now single" reference. Did I miss the gory details of the disengagement or haven't you shared yet?

  9. #9
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    Originally posted by Dan
    I'll probably end up in Cleveland Heights or a neighborhood near downtown Cleveland (Ohio City, Tremont), which are more urban and social than the far eastern 'burbs.
    Yeah, I figure Lakewood is not your lifestyle. LOL HEY - You could be roommates with mugbub!

  10. #10
    Cyburbian Queen B's avatar
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    I brought up this sort of topic last year only not specific to finding a partner. I brought my partner with me to the new city so we were both without friends.
    It has almost been a year now and I can say it is getting better but still don't feel like we have friends. We know people. But would love somebody to just hang with. King B has started volunteering but you wouldn't believe how hard that was to find. I bet we offered our help to literally 15 different groups or organizations before this one took him up on it.
    As for work, they just don't socialize with others from work, I have tried and tried. I finally got an outside invite this last weekend.
    We were used to going out Friday after work to a local pub and we have finally gotten in with a group of his co workers, that feels pretty good but again that is as far as it goes.
    I feel for ya man!
    The winter time was the lonliest, once it warmed up we got out more.
    It is hard work cause you just have to keep putting yourself out there and going that extra distance to introduce yourself. King B plays a great game of pool and joined the pool league, too. I think he has done much better than I, but he felt a stronger need to fill his time. I enjoy just spending time at home, he has to have things to do.
    Give it time, before you know it, you will have people again
    It is all a matter of perspective!!!

  11. #11
    Cyburbian Budgie's avatar
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    Social Lubricants

    I employ alcohol, nametags and a Segway. With these three things people tend to approach and talk to you alot.

  12. #12
    Cyburbian Rumpy Tunanator's avatar
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    Just start talking to someone and if you lucky they'll talk back, if the don't then they might just think your crazy. Just move on. -Here's a line that never seems to fail, "Do you like drinking in the park?" If they do buy them a beer and head for the nearest park bench (also works well for making friends with the homeless).
    A guy once told me, "Do not have any attachments, do not have anything in your life you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you spot the heat around the corner."


    Neil McCauley (Robert DeNiro): Heat 1995

  13. #13
    Cyburbian Cardinal's avatar
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    Originally posted by Chet
    Internet hook ups!
    Gotta say they work pretty good. I've met a few women I've dated once or twice, and then a couple I've dated for a while. Think about it. How could any woman pass on a chance with a guy this perfect:

    http://www.match.com/profile/showpro...eme=211&lid=21

    I tried the more traditional personals for a while and did well with them. There are also a couple singles organizations, but I have found that the people there are often a bit shallow and too desperate.

    Other than that, I have met a couple women through an outdoor club, but that has been more important for just meeting people I think of as friends. Work and professional organizations have helped some, but most of the people I meet there are considerably older. I'm catching up, though. Dogs are chick magnets. Take one to a pedestrian mall like State Street in Madison, or to a dog park, and the women will be all over it. (OK, so at least the dog gets some heavy petting.)

    I've never had much luck with bars, but my housemate makes them a regular Friday and Saturday thing. Of course, he's looking for something else.

  14. #14
    You have got to be true to yourself and don't try so hard. Seriously, after a while things will happen when you stop thinking about it, so get out there and be yourself. All I can say is if you wan't to hook up and you're just a regular dork like 98% of the population -be 100% true to what you have fun doing or what you are passionate about and things that make you feel important. The girl you're looking for will be doing the same thing.

    WARNING: Girls can smell a fake player from a mile away, so unless girls always approach you -drop any player bullshit.

    If you want a good looking girl and you are a dork, just be yourself -If she's cool she will really like that you are interested, even if you have a less than "cool" personality.

    It will happen, don't sweat it.

    I only give this advice from experience.

  15. #15
    Cyburbian JNL's avatar
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    Originally posted by Cardinal
    How could any woman pass on a chance with a guy this perfect:
    It's beyond me!
    Last edited by JNL; 14 Oct 2003 at 9:31 PM.

  16. #16
    Cyburbian H's avatar
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    As a young and fairly recently married (w/o kids) new arrival to a new and strange city, I have met people just within the urban condo complex that my wife and I live in. We have BBQ’s etc. And their friends lead to more people, etc… If you live somewhere amongst people with common age and cohort you will most likely meet people you want to socialize with. If you live in the ‘burbs with an acre lot, you probably wont. The social urban fabric is still alive; find it. I have also met people with common interests of live music in the local venues. There are certain “scenes” that the same people frequent and you get to know them. That scene could be an art class, music hall, church and the other examples you gave, etc.. But don’t frequent a phony scene you don’t really like just to meet people, because you will end up meeting a bunch of people you don’t really like.
    "Those who plan do better than those who do not plan, even though they rarely stick to their plan." - Winston Churchill

  17. #17
    Cyburbian Wannaplan?'s avatar
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    Re: How to meet people

    Originally posted by michaelskis
    BUT, I *now being single and all* have a quest to meet new people.
    You like to ski?

    My girlfriend's sister is moving back home from Florida to Michigan in November. We all love to downhill ski. Maybe we should have a Michigan Planner Get-Together up at Crystal Mtn or Shanty Creek sometime after the holidays?

  18. #18
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    Originally posted by Rem

    I note the "now single" reference. Did I miss the gory details of the disengagement or haven't you shared yet?
    Well I was not engaged, but I realized that things where only going to get worse with her. She did not like the Portage, because she knew how much I loved the area, my new job, and the mid west.

    So, I am single, and this time, I am not going to get into a serious thing unless there is a chance for something.
    Not my monkey, not my circus. - Old Polish Proverb

  19. #19
    When I moved to the midwest I looked to find out if we had an alumni association for my university. They did and so I go watch football games at bars, go to picnics, etc. This was a very fast way to meet new people. Plus you automatically have something in common.

  20. #20
    Forums Administrator & Gallery Moderator NHPlanner's avatar
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    Originally posted by Chet
    Internet hook ups!
    Umm....no....don't go that route.....what seems great can turn to shit in a second....
    "Growth is inevitable and desirable, but destruction of community character is not. The question is not whether your part of the world is going to change. The question is how." -- Edward T. McMahon, The Conservation Fund

  21. #21
    I guess I would recommend joing some type of group that you are interested in or take a class at a local community college for something you are interested in. You'd probably meet some people who share similar interests.

    If there is a sports team you follow, go to the local sports bar for their games. You will usually find other fans of that team there. A friend of mine is a Steeler fan stuck in Wisconsin. He has made a lot of good friends by just going to s sports bar to watch the games. If you don't have a team you follow, pretend to like the Packers. Most major cities in the US have "Packer Bars" that show all the games. We Cheeseheads are quite friendly.

    I always thought that if I moved to another City, I would get a part time job at a bar. It seems like you could meet a ton of people (coworkers and customers).
    "I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are."

    - Homer Simpson

  22. #22
    Cyburbian Planderella's avatar
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    Do you belong to any organizations that may have chapters in your new area? That's an automatic way of meeting new people. Otherwise, I pretty much agree with what everyone else has said so far.
    "A witty woman is a treasure, a witty beauty is a power!"

  23. #23
    Cyburbian martini's avatar
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    I'm really a pretty socail, but shy person as well. I have no problem carrying a conversation, but starting one is another matter. Can't do it. I'd just go to places that cater to your interests. Skiing, Hiking, biking, climbing, ball sports, whatever turns your crank. You'll run into someone that may be compatible. Lisa and I might be doing the same thing here next summer(moving that is), and attempting to find new freinds along with having a new baby(now THATS a chick magnet, too bad I can't/won't do anything about it...)

    OT: Repo Re: the new avatar. Whatta DUMBASS! His coworkers must HATE him now. In fact all of Chicago must hate this guy. I will repeat: Whatta dumbass!
    You're more boring than you know.

  24. #24
    Cyburbian nerudite's avatar
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    I used to enjoy the 'singles' outings with the Sierra Club when I was in Cali. You may want to check your local chapter(s) for various tours or events. If you like skiing, join a ski club... follow your interests and you'll meet someone else with similar interests.

    And uh, the Internet hook up thing has worked for me (more than once)... so don't totally knock it. You, too, may end up in Canada! Joking, joking!

  25. #25
    Cyburbian Duke Of Dystopia's avatar
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    Stay away from astrological sign discussions! If you are a Scorpio, you will have noticed how they scream and bolt in terror at the mere mention of the fact!
    I can't deliver UTOPIA, but I can create a HELL for you to LIVE in :)DoD:(

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