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Thread: Bikini Cuts Redux

  1. #1
    Cyburbian SlaveToTheGrind's avatar
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    Bikini Cuts Redux

    For those that remember my previous post here on www.bikinicuts.net . I have an update on the controversy this has caused the people of Utah. Read on. If you lived here, you would find more humor in this than you probably will at this time.

    Culture Vulture: Bikini Cuts not the only' stimulating' business
    By Dan Nailen
    Salt Lake Tribune Columnist

    A Sandy salon called Bikini Cuts, featuring stylists in body-clinging beach attire, caused enough of a ruckus among certain moral watchdogs last week that the suburb's city council decided to tighten some business ordinances, calling on former "Porn Czar" Paula Houston for help.
    Apparently some of the neighbors and concerned people in the community find a woman in a bikini top so sexually alluring and hard to resist as to be offensive, even dangerous. In a story in The Salt Lake Tribune, these folks contended a bikini-clad woman cutting hair could be "the beginning of pornography addictions for young men," and that the shop should be classified as a sexually oriented business -- one of those places pushed to a town's outskirts and hidden among industrial workshops and the like.
    Sandy should be careful, though, because places like Bikini Cuts might be just the thing to draw downtown dwellers like The Vulture south to stimulate the Sandy economy.
    Another issue is precedent. If Sandy's moral watchdogs convince that town's city council that bikini-clad barbers should be considered a "sexually oriented business," what is to stop the moralists in other communities from piling on?
    This got The Vulture thinking: What else along the Wasatch Front could be redefined as "sexually oriented business" if that judgement is based on whether or not men might get turned on? Consider how different life in Utah would be if these things were suddenly hidden or outlawed:
    * The Provo Girl pilsner-pitching babe would no longer bless us men of simple tastes with billboards, calendars and personal appearances.
    * Say goodbye to the Utah Jazz dancers, and while you're at it, shut down every cheerleading squad and dance troupe at the state's colleges, universities and high schools. Those mini-skirts might be the first step in someone's slide into "pornography addiction."
    * You know those Hot Dog on a Stick stands in the malls, where young ladies are found churning lemonade with gusto? Enjoy them now, because they might be gone if a filth-minded moral watchdog takes a gander. Or you could be forced to drive to some truck stop in a barely incorporated part of the city for a fresh-squeezed treat, sold right next to Penthouse or Hustler.
    * The Hooters in Midvale? History. Every other restaurant, tavern or private club that hires attractive women? Teetering on the brink of being labeled as "sexually oriented." No less an authority than the Zagat Survey from 2002 made note of La Caille's "busty young women in peasant costumes."
    More simply, any place where a woman's tips could conceivably go up based on what she wears would probably qualify as a no-no.
    * This paper and the Deseret Morning News could both be accused of promoting what Sandy's concerned citizens find pornographic. Ads for the Shania Twain concert show -- gasp! -- a bare midriff, and photos of Ann-Margret can still lead to impure thoughts, especially among those who remember her in "Viva Las Vegas" with The King.

  2. #2
    Cyburbian Budgie's avatar
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    I still think a topless car wash would be the perfect business. How about bubbles and bikinis car wash? That way you could avoid those pesky adult oriented business tags. Long live women entreprenuers.

    How about "ZONE THIS" T-shirts.

  3. #3
    Cyburbian Seabishop's avatar
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    How did Utah end up right next to Nevada on the map?

  4. #4
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
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    Originally posted by Seabishop
    How did Utah end up right next to Nevada on the map?
    Geography grad with a sense of humor.

  5. #5
    Cyburbian SlaveToTheGrind's avatar
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    Originally posted by Seabishop
    How did Utah end up right next to Nevada on the map?
    Here is some a trivia fact for you. The Mormons settled Las Vegas.

  6. #6
    Cyburbian Rumpy Tunanator's avatar
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    -I remember that thread. Ah yes memories of the way things were.
    You got a point there STTG (hey that sounds like something else), where will they stop? Who knows, just like the anti-abortion movement. And what about our guarenteed freedoms in the constitution. When will the current govt. stop stripping our personal freedoms away. When will NY State stop taxing us to death and stop driving businesses out of state? No smoking in bars to protect the workers? Hey stupid elected (and disposable) politicians, most employees at bars smoke, and if people don't like smokey bars they can go to ones that are smoke free. Let the market dictate the outcome stupid. If people didn't like smokey bars there'd be a lot smoke free ones to accomadate the market by business owners. But no, NY State has to stick there foot in everything, no wonder other businesses are leaving (end of personal rant).
    BOT: It seems that places that cater to the adult taste are pushed to industrial areas or the edge of cities, or few remaining seedy areas of downtown.
    -This business Does Not fall into this category, so I don't see what the community's moral watchdogs are barking about. They need to pick a bone somewhere else. Whats next, are they going complain about lifeguards for wearing swimsuits on the job? I thought America was about the freedom of choice, including what to wear. But it seems like as of late, this country is crawling into a shell and going backwards on all the progress that has been made. Wait till they try and bring back prohibtion, we'll see what happens that day, the uprising will begin!!!
    A guy once told me, "Do not have any attachments, do not have anything in your life you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you spot the heat around the corner."


    Neil McCauley (Robert DeNiro): Heat 1995

  7. #7
    Cyburbian martini's avatar
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    Originally posted by Rumpy Tuna
    the uprising will begin!!!
    and the way things are going now with the "moral" right, it'll happen soon. Except for devilish places like Vegas, LA and New Yawk.

    Cheeerist, I hate when the 'moral superiors' get all in a tither over minor crap like this. Makes me wonder if we actually aren't heading backwards in our socail habits.
    You're more boring than you know.

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