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Thread: New Game: Something that matters more than IQ

  1. #1
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    New Game: Something that matters more than IQ

    First of all, I would like to apologize to Zoning Goddess, who certainly does not deserve to bear the brunt of my irritation. My sincerest apologies. I know that is not enough and can never be enough. For that -- and more -- I am genuinely sorry.

    Second, I would like to publicly thank REM – who isn’t American and doesn’t buy into that crap and who knows that IQ is not incredibly important and certainly it is no justification for treating anyone with such contempt. REM – who claims he isn’t that quick – the one person here who had enough smarts about things that matter to deftly change the subject and give ZG a warm-fuzzy without using his valiant rescue of the fair maiden as an excuse to turn around and abuse me and claim I deserved it because of my contemptuous behavior. Unlike most of us Americans, he understands things like: looking to justify that and looking for who started the war, etc, is a vicious circle and we all lose. He understands that if we do not all try to treat each other with respect simply for being human, it is an uncivilized environment. Any justification of mistreating others starts down that slippery slope that El Guapo was lamenting recently: when do “they” get redefined to include “us”?

    In another thread, I mentioned that I walked away from a scholarship to try to figure out what more there might be to me than Just a Brain. Perhaps I didn’t spell that out clearly:
    I so dislike this ugly game of “I am smarter than you and that justifies me acting like an ass and labeling it Virtue” that I gave up a National Merit Scholarship and dropped out of college and consciously walked away from all my academic awards, where most of my self-esteem had been vested. I was so clear that I did not wish to live that way anymore that I did so knowing full well that this meant I was facing a minimum of 10 years of disorientation, during which time I would appear to the entire world like a Loser.

    My brilliant predictions of that outcome were absolutely right. I still look like a Loser to a lot of people: Just a Homemaker. Still do not have my bachelor’s degree. No job or income of my own. Any experience I do have – doing volunteer work, homeschooling my kids and so on – is routinely dismissed by most of America (not just in this forum – it is pretty rampant) as not having any value or credibility because there was no paycheck attached to it to readily identify how impressed people should be as indicated by the size of the dollar number next to my name on said paycheck.

    Some folks like to play the game of “I am smarter than you and that justifies me acting like a jerk and treating you with contempt – supposedly for your stupidity because I am not honest enough to admit that I simply loathe most people” (Clearly, Budgie, DoD, and a few others who openly admit they are bitter and contemptuous are exempt from this, and I respect their honesty – it is kinder than trying to claim virtue when abusing others and it hurts less. I suppose that is why they are so endearing, in a weird sort of way.) If you want to run that game on me, you are highly likely to lose. I play that game extremely well. And I really don’t enjoy it. My multicultural background and diverse group of friends have taught me to value other things – like people.

    Anyway, I would like to propose that we generally quit playing “I am so much smarter than you and that makes it okay to be ugly”. I suggest that we start playing a New Game in Cyburbia. Something less cruel. Something that won’t leave me wondering at the value of my Pyric Victory, where I sit around trying to measure the value of winning the battle against what it cost in terms of human dignity, pain, loss of community, and so on. You can pick the game. I have no egomaniacal need to Make The Rules. I just would like to step off this nasty little merry-go-round without having to simply leave Cyburbia, which has a lot to offer.

    Any suggestions as to what you might like to play today?

  2. #2
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    MZ, I didn't take offense. And you don't need to leave Cyburbia. Just take it for what it is and have fun here!

  3. #3
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    Well said, MZ. I apologize, I've been mostly silent on the boards lately, alot of it is because I have not particularly cared for the slippery slope is has been going down. As a result of that absence, I think I missed the thread and post(s) that caused you to pontificate. Sorry for being absent. However, that said, please stay with us! And you have my home email if you want to vent a bit

  4. #4
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    Chet, then you should go back and read the "IQ test" thread. My final argument -- wherein I obnoxiously bend over backwards to agree that ZG must be right -- is wickedly funny. And it was followed by deafening silence, which made me think that perhaps no one expected me to win the ugly game of "Who's the bigger brainiac?" and perhaps some folks were smarting (oh, I really didn't intend that irony, but I will leave it). Such games are typically begun by someone who antes up with "And I went to Harvard." or "I have a Ph.D." I take a real vigilante delight in butchering the flawed arguments of such jerks (no offense intended to ZG, whom I don't think was really intending it that way) and then reminding them I haven't completed my bachelor's degree and they dismissed me on those grounds as someone not qualified to even play the game.

    I don't like playing "Whose the bigger brainiac?" because someone inevitably gets hurt -- and that is usually the point: to make some brainiac feel like they have value by tromping on someone else and proving that person has no value. So if I get dragged into it, I am likely to play a 'Take no prisoner's version' wherein my goal is to make "you" dislike it as much as I do. Also known as "I am your worst nightmare". lol.

    Thanks ZG. My immense contempt was not for you but for the stupid game.

    Frankly, if we have to play a "bait Michele" game, I enjoyed the version that went "Let's bait Michele into posting a nude avatar". At least the point of most sex games is for all parties to enjoy themselves before its over.

    Actually, I was hoping someone would rise to the occasion and propose a New Game. I am a dreadful bore with no imagination and I can't think up cool games like "add to this story" or "how evil are you?", etc. My poor kids: anytime they wanted to play an imaginary game, I proposed that we do so while running errands and I proposed that the car was a space ship and I was the pilot and the pilot's job is extremely important, so you can't bother me too much. And our mission was top secret, so you couldn't let on that we were rebel spies while we got food supplies (ate lunch) and gold dubloons (cashed a check at the bank), etc. In other words: shut the f*** up and PRETEND mom is playing a game with you while I run errands, damm it. But I have great kids and they took enormous delight in pretending that all this ordinary activity was some great adventure. Either that or, perhaps, being raised by me has them so deprived that their standards for Fun are excessively low.

    I ask again: Any suggestions for a New Game? I am miserable and getting over being poisoned by mildew. When I am miserable like that, I routinely play "Let's see which online forum we can incite a lynch mob in." That game is even less fun than "Whose the biggest brainiac?" Does anyone have a GOOD suggestion?

  5. #5
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    What message moved you to post this one?

    I've been in the process of moving, unpacking and getting settled in at a new job. I haven't had the time to patrol the boards as much lately.

    If there's any post that bothers you (or anyone else, for that matter), please contact me. I don't want the Forums to be a hostile place.
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  6. #6
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    Since it seems that no one is in a cheery enough mood to come up with a New Game, here is a Photo Shop Op/ Christmas Greeting:

    The Real Me

    (Which is to say that it's probably just me and when I start to feel better, I will be embarrassed by all this. I hope eveyone can take my ugly jokes in the humorous way they are actually intended and set aside the venom with which they are being delivered. My Main Mission Most of the Time is to Entertain Myself as a means to forget the aches and pains of my physical reality.)
    Last edited by Michele Zone; 16 Nov 2003 at 2:39 AM.

  7. #7
    Cyburbian tsc's avatar
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    Michelle,
    I don't see the "I am smarter than you are" nastiness that you imply from such posts at "Another IQ test" I think most of us would agree that these are just "tests" and shouldn't be taken so seriously. Not to say that I don't find bits and pieces of certain threads distasteful or in total disregard to the diversity of the members of Cyburbia coming from all walks of life, income, geography, etc.... (Heck,,, I mention geography because I am a New Yorker,,, I get a lot of mud slung my way...)

    I played the IQ test... but I surely didn't take it seriously... nor did I view it as a competition against my fellow cyburbanites.

    I absolutely don't think that a piece of paper or formal education is a sign of intellect. I also think you do diservice by downplaying stay at home moms, even if it is mentioned in sarcasm. I have reconnected recently with a grade school friend, after about 25 years. She dropped out of college after a few months because she knew she wanted to be a stay at home mom. This woman, was on every honor roll,, enrolled at a Ivy League university on a educational scholarship. This friend of mine is one of the brightest, funniest people I know. I look forward to my chats online with her,, because I do so enjoy her positive quick wit. And,, the two of us could not be more different.. her right-wing conservative born-again mom,, me left-wing liberal pagan. The key is we respect our diffrences... and enjoy our common ground. Some of the dumbest people I know have degrees from great Universities..... I won't mention any politicians....<biting tongue>

    I think you have a lot to contribute to our community,, but you really shouldn't take such personal offense to comments made by a few. Threads are not a game that you win or lose... cyburbia is not a competition... but a forum for exchange of ideas. ... (but whether I am right or wrong...I am probably losing... )
    "Yeehaw!" is not a foreign policy

    Renovating the '62 Metzendorf
    http://metzendorf.blogspot.com/

  8. #8
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    tsc,

    I am very sorry that you have completely missed my point. Let me attempt to restate it simply so that maybe you will get it this time: I feel like hell and I would like something lighthearted and amusing to distract me from that. Can we please start a game?

    CAN ONE OF THE MODS PLEASE REMOVE EVERY POST OF MINE FROM THE THREAD "ANOTHER IQ TEST"? I originally had no intention of participating in it. I knew that doing so would cause people to loathe me and, gee, that seems to have come true.

    Thank you for busting my chops tsc. I really need that right now, while desperately trying to find something to do other than play "Incite a lynch mob in an online forum". I guess you can be the leader of the lynch mob while everyone here tells me what a total bitch I am and how it is all my fault and how I deserve to have shit kicked out of me. Up front, let me state for the record that tsc is absolutely right: at the moment, I really am a horrid bitch. My body is filled with toxins from breathing mildew and I hurt from head to toe. Three years and three weeks of relentless physical pain is just a little over my limit, even given my history of acting like a masochist.

    Let the barbecue begin: let's prove what civilized people we all are by burning at the stake one of our forum members for the crime of attempting to be funny while feeling like hell and failing miserably.

  9. #9
    Cyburbian tsc's avatar
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    I knew 15 years of public service in land use planning and living in NY Metro has given me a thick skin... but I guess just makes me way too callous... because I was trying to be amiable.

    As I said before...threads are not a game that you win or lose... cyburbia is not a competition... but a forum for exchange of ideas.
    "Yeehaw!" is not a foreign policy

    Renovating the '62 Metzendorf
    http://metzendorf.blogspot.com/

  10. #10
    Cyburbian Wannaplan?'s avatar
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    I Feel Your Pain

    Originally posted by Michele Zone
    Let the barbecue begin: let's prove what civilized people we all are by burning at the stake one of our forum members for the crime of attempting to be funny while feeling like hell and failing miserably.
    Sucks around here sometimes, don't it? I feel your pain. You wanted to start a new game... how about we post quotes from our favorite "put your dukes up" posts?

    The whole thing about about having a degree or a pedigreed education to trump some one who doesn't already have a degree makes sense in the work place since most jobs require those things before employement. But here, in a forum where registration doesn't require a degree, that trump card can fade fast and become meaningless.
    Last edited by Wannaplan?; 16 Nov 2003 at 5:29 PM.

  11. #11
    Cyburbian Plus JNA's avatar
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    I tried to lighten up the IQ thread (I did not take the test )
    with those lines from Young Frankenstein
    after reading MZ posts on both threads.
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  12. #12
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    Originally posted by JNA
    I tried to lighten up the IQ thread (I did not take the test )
    with those lines from Young Frankenstein
    after reading MZ posts on both threads.
    Yes, and I appreciate it. I replied "By jove, I think you've got it". Which is to say: Abby Normal Brain... Gee, I resemble that remark -- especially at the moment, with pain and toxins befogging my brain.

    tsc, I so appreciate -- sincerely -- your comment that I do have something to offer. Please note that my lengthy response to ZG where I obnoxiously bent over backwards to agree with her was originally posted around 8pm and last edited around 5am. Nine hours of obsessively rewriting one stupid post into a brilliant masterpiece of wicked humor was hardly about caring what you think of me. I have said more than once that months of being bedridden and dragging myself out of bed for 2 doctors appointments per week while being denied treatment and told that "I can't find anyhing physically wrong with you. Have you considered seeing a psychiatrist?" sort of cured me of my problem with being thin-skinned and caring about the opinions of others. I have a lot more friends now that I make no attempt to be on good behavior. I spent years trying to be nice only to discover that when I concluded that someone must actually like me because they had hung around so long, the second I let my hair down, well, that was the last time I ever heard from them.

    I forwarded my masterpiece of wicked humor to a few (hundred) of my friends and a few of them have written back. One friend -- who is a community activist and being eaten alive in court by the folks with money and power while she tries to do the right thing -- found it to be welcome relief from her own misery. I know she is going through hell as I never hear her from her anymore. She and I orginally bonded over trading off-color bi-lingual jokes and I have a deep respect for her because she was the only person in a forum of 700 members to say "Well I was offended and this is why..." without accusing me of anything and without hurting me, thereby giving me a chance to explain what I actually meant in my completely obnoxious attempt to be funny while awake for 40 hours straight, going through drug withdrawal. She has a real love of language, as do I, and really enjoyed the circular logic and word-play.

    You have no idea what a saint I was and how much personal discipline and other virtues it took for me to refrain from just completely whigging out the next day when my 9 hours of work was met with deafening silence. I really did not expect anyone here to be objective enough to laugh but, hey, as a raging extrovert who grew up in an abusive home: What does it take to get a little negative attention around here? Ignoring me is the ultimate cruelty and, I swear, it is like there is some kind of conspiracy around here to do so. Sheesh -- if you hate me, please photo shop in a set of horns and pointy tail to my Bah Humbug picture. I was full well expecting it and I would actually find that funny.

    And, goddamn it, I know I desperately need both to inherit a ton of money and find that shop that sells "manners", but can you buy yourself a sense of humor? Every bit of this is said tongue in cheek. I kind of quit taking life all that seriously when I informed God that if he didn't approve of my life, he could kindly pay me the wages of sin -- that being Death. The spiteful little bastard will not do so because that might release me from this living hell. I also spent some weeks trying to talk The Grim Reaper into taking me away with him, but he listens less well than my kids -- so I am still here. And don't tell me I was hallucinating those conversations just because I was feverish and drugged up and extremely ill. They seemed very real at the time and they must have happened. Proof that he refused my request is that I am still alive to make your life miserable.

    As for IQ: please do not think I am so stupid that I mistakenly thought I was consulting "How to Win Friends and Influence People" while editing my work for 9 hours straight. I am well aware that it was the latest chapter in my life's work: The Michele Zone Manifesto on How To Make Enemies and Alienate All Your Friends When You Need Them The Most. Actually, that would have been a funny title for THIS thread if I had been less mentally impaired and able to be that witty. You have no idea how hard I tried to come up with a good tongue in cheek title for this Bomb.

    And thanks for not barbecuing me. I am trying very hard to not repeat the same old mistakes. I thought I would try something new and make a few new mistakes, just to spice things up. I am in real danger here of not completely screwing up my attempt to amuse myself without cutting all my friends to shreds. Having a Rapier Wit is something of a two-edged sword, sigh. But, with the cooperation of you good folks, I might actually be able to have a good time and not regret it when I come down from this pain-befogged place. Usually, about the time I start to feel better, I am so horrified by the things I have said and the pain I have caused people, that I wish I could die. Oh, but we already covered that: I am not allowed that easy way out!

    It's hell caring about whether or not I cause others pain. I wonder if there's a cure for that. If I could get a cure for that as a matched set for not caring about people's opinions of me, maybe I could be at peace. Of course, I would probably quickly get banned from every online forum I belong to and then I would have nothing to do when I am miserable....

    Wanigas?... I had also meant to address your comments about degrees. I spend way too much time in gifted forums -- where most folks really are smart and really are a wealth of knowledge and every last one of them is in competition to prove they are the most Gifted person there -- at being easily offended and at thinking they are the only person entitled to an opinion because they are so much smarter than you. Sigh. Seriously: I now desperately need the therapy all those doctors said I needed -- probably from putting up with all those doctors.
    Last edited by Michele Zone; 16 Nov 2003 at 8:18 PM.

  13. #13
    Cyburbian JNL's avatar
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    MZ, that post was 1000 words plus. That is half of a university essay to me.

  14. #14
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    Originally posted by JNL
    MZ, that post was 1000 words plus. That is half of a university essay to me.
    Yeah, well, in most places I hang out, I eventually become the poster child for excessive length. When folks write a much longer post than they normally would, they close with comments like "Trying to outdo Michele today". I used to be worse but acting as a editor on a few group projects and getting coached by my sister who has a degree in journalism has taught me to leave stuff out...

  15. #15
    Cyburbian Budgie's avatar
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    Re: New Game: Something that matters more than IQ

    Originally posted by Michele Zone
    Some folks like to play the game of “I am smarter than you and that justifies me acting like a jerk and treating you with contempt – supposedly for your stupidity because I am not honest enough to admit that I simply loathe most people” (Clearly, Budgie, DoD, and a few others who openly admit they are bitter and contemptuous are exempt from this, and I respect their honesty – it is kinder than trying to claim virtue when abusing others and it hurts less. I suppose that is why they are so endearing, in a weird sort of way.)
    Michelle Zone - Have you ever met me? What do you really know about me? I am not bitter and contemptuous as a rule and I certaintly don't claim to be smarter than the next guy. Yes, I can be opinionated and that's what chat forums are about. I don't take offense from you suppositions, because I know who I am and I know that you don't. Cheers !!!

  16. #16
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    Re: Re: New Game: Something that matters more than IQ

    Originally posted by Budgie
    Michelle Zone - Have you ever met me? What do you really know about me? I am not bitter and contemptuous as a rule and I certaintly don't claim to be smarter than the next guy. Yes, I can be opinionated and that's what chat forums are about. I don't take offense from you suppositions, because I know who I am and I know that you don't. Cheers !!!
    Yeah, well, since I have never met you, all I have to go on is stuff like your little subtitle "alienating since birth".

  17. #17
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    You know, maybe one of the mods should close this thread. I think they are going to declare me temporarily sane and I would hate for the forums to freak out when people start actually showing up in large numbers on Monday morning and possibly overreacting to my comments when I was my usual total nutjob self.

    I do want to thank those people who were supportive (like tsc, JNL, Wanigas, ZG, and Chet and Dan). It made a big difference to not get my usual WARM welcome of being thrown on the barbie when I am desperately trying to do some completely incomprehensible version of "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" and garbling it such that it sounds like a scene from The Exorcist. Sigh.
    Last edited by Michele Zone; 17 Nov 2003 at 7:34 AM.

  18. #18
    Cyburbian Duke Of Dystopia's avatar
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    How the hell did I get pulled into this? I am not bitter and contemptuous either.

    I also have not "piled on" you. I don't even think I played the IQ game. I gave that one a pass. I am only smart enough to get out of trouble once I get into it. I am not smart enough to stay out of trouble
    I can't deliver UTOPIA, but I can create a HELL for you to LIVE in :)DoD:(

  19. #19
    Cyburbian Budgie's avatar
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    Originally posted by Michele Zone
    You know, maybe one of the mods should close this thread. I think they are going to declare me temporarily sane and I would hate for the forums to freak out when people start actually showing up in large numbers on Monday morning and possibly overreacting to my comments when I was my usual total nutjob self.
    From one nutjob to another, don't be hard on yourself and trust the mods to bail you out when needed. Have a good week.

  20. #20
    Cyburbian el Guapo's avatar
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    With that well-placed suggestion from Budgie, I shall whip-out my Ronco Cyburbia Thread-Gone-Bad Vacuum-Packer and seal the freshness in this thread for future generations.

Closed thread

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