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Thread: Online dating?

  1. #26
    Cyburbian donk's avatar
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    Question?

    How do you politely blow people off on line?

    You've emailed a few times and can just tell that there is nothing there, but want to be polite and not seem standoffish?

    I know you'll never meet the person, but it is proper to just not respond, or is it?(removed an extra not)
    Last edited by donk; 19 Nov 2003 at 12:00 PM.
    Too lazy to beat myself up for being to lazy to beat myself up for being too lazy to... well you get the point....

  2. #27
    Originally posted by Cardinal
    Yup, I'll agree with Dan. Be honest and post a picture. The picture should not be more than a year old.
    Yeah, but what about less than attractive women who post pictures of their hot friends? I've heard this happens quite often.

  3. #28
    Cyburbian Cardinal's avatar
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    Originally posted by donk
    Question?

    How do you politely blow people off on line?

    You've emailed a few times and can just tell that there is nothing there, but want to be polite and not seem standoffish?

    I know you'll never meet the person, but it is not proper to just not respond, or is it?
    Yup, that's it. Just don't reply to the message.

  4. #29
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    Good Man

    Also, I would have to say that I am a good man. I have a decent job, a great apartment on a lake, I stay fit (weights 5 days a week, and cardio 3 days a week), I don't smoke, I don't drink past the point of a buzz, I am a Adult Leader for a youth group in my church, I can cook, I am polite, honest, and trustworthy, and getting "SOME" is not even on my top ten list of requirements. I am close with my family and friends, and I keep my apartment and my car clean. I am out going and I have goals and objectives of what I want to achieve. AND YET, I can not find a good woman. (if they exist) What happened to women with elegance and grace?
    Not my monkey, not my circus. - Old Polish Proverb

  5. #30
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    Originally posted by Cardinal
    Yup, that's it. Just don't reply to the message.
    Don't blow people off! It's rude. I can't tell you how frustrating it it to find what might seem like a perfect match, spend a half hour composing a letter to her, and waiting while it goes unanswered on the other side.

    Consider that a guy probably spent some time composing a message to you. Respect their effort in courting you, send a polite but brief "sorry, not interested" note, and then ignore any followup attempts.

    If a guy sends you an obvious form letter or something offensive, you can probably ignore him.

    Originally posted by Super Amputee Cat
    Yeah, but what about less than attractive women who post pictures of their hot friends? I've heard this happens quite often.
    If a woman is too hot, I don't respond to her profile. She's probably swamped with responses, and I don't want to spend time composing a letter that will get lost among responses from other men who are taller than me, more athletic than me, and more affluent than me. I tend to stay within my league.

    I don't send e-mail to women with profiles that don't have solo pictures. Group photos, common with women, is a huge peeve of men looking for love online. Don't post a photo of you and the ex either, or one with him obviously clipped out.
    Last edited by NHPlanner; 29 Nov 2005 at 2:39 PM.
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  6. #31
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    Originally posted by Dan
    I tend to stay within my league.
    Don't think that way. Do you think that the Wright Brothers thought that they would just stay on the ground. You never know unless you try. If you are attracted to a woman there is no reason that you should even hesitate about contacting her. I went though HS and even part of College thinking that some women where out of my league. NOW, if I had known, what I know now, I would not have been like that. And if a woman does turn me down, that is ok. Because she is being honest that she is not attracted to me, and it gives me motivation to be a better person, not for her, but for me.
    Not my monkey, not my circus. - Old Polish Proverb

  7. #32
    Cyburbian donk's avatar
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    I'm way outside my league right now, both online and in real life and enjoying the trip.

    Go for it, sometimes personality is the most important thing. So I've been told.

    Don't forget who this is coming from either
    Too lazy to beat myself up for being to lazy to beat myself up for being too lazy to... well you get the point....

  8. #33
    Forums Administrator & Gallery Moderator NHPlanner's avatar
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    Originally posted by donk
    I'm way outside my league right now, both online and in real life and enjoying the trip.
    Fun isn't it?

    Did that once in college (someone out of my league)....had a blast for a month and a half....
    "Growth is inevitable and desirable, but destruction of community character is not. The question is not whether your part of the world is going to change. The question is how." -- Edward T. McMahon, The Conservation Fund

  9. #34
    Cyburbian PlannerByDay's avatar
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    Originally posted by donk
    I'm way outside my league right now, both online and in real life and enjoying the trip.
    [/B]
    DITTO

    DID it this summer for about 4 months. Loved every minute of it. Some of the best, UM "conversation" I'd ever had. Now I'm back to within my league. Things may have worked out a while longer, but I realized that she was not the right person for me.

    Take some chances and be adventurous, Michaelskis comment about the Wright Brothers is perfect.

    Don't limit yourself Jessie-J?

    Your league or another league, try it out you never know you might be in the wrong league.

  10. #35
    Cyburbian
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    (I've) Been there, done that. It hasn't worked and got bored of it right away... It's just not worth the time!

  11. #36
    I'm dating someone way outside my league and I like it a lot -she's really pretty and I'm a monster with half a beard and puffed hair -none of that matters. we really enjoy each others company. I've dated pretty women occasionally, I'm way off the looks thing now -I need common interest and megapersonality! If she happens to be less than attractive, I don't care.

  12. #37
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    I once dated a girl that was a human Barbie doll... and she had the same IQ as the doll. It only lasted 3 dates. No matter how hot they are, if they are as dumb as a rock, it is just not worth bringing them out into public.
    Not my monkey, not my circus. - Old Polish Proverb

  13. #38
    Cyburbian Plus PlannerGirl's avatar
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    looks are way over rated and most folks with the textbook looks are just as shallow as the paper their pics are on. Trust me I work with models quite a bit.

    I saw my boyfriends ad online for a month and drooled-hes a total hottie in my book but I did not think hed be intrested. Turns out he thought Id not be intrested in him but finaly one night with a buzz he wrote me a few months later and now we are going to meet his family in December
    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin

    Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO- HOO what a ride!'"

  14. #39
    Cyburbian Floridays's avatar
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    I tried the online dating stuff a couple of years ago. Met a really nice guy but he lived in the northeast and I lived in the southwest. We got together a few times but it was EXPENSIVE and inconvenient. And we both had jobs that we loved, so...what then? Who moves? Didn't work out.
    BUT...my best friend met a guy online and they were married a year ago. Turns out he only lived about 20 miles away, but who knows what the chances of their meeting what have been otherwise.

  15. #40
    Gunfighter Mastiff's avatar
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    Once...

    I posted my "description" as:

    4'2" (with the hunchback), 389 lbs., bald, with a big goiter and a funny rash.

    You would not BELIEVE the amount of replies I got... Most of them commented on a "man with a sense of humor", and went from there...
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    C'mon and get me you twist of fate
    I'm standing right here Mr. Destiny
    If you want to talk well then I'll relate
    If you don't so what cause you don't scare me

  16. #41
    Cyburbian JNL's avatar
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    This is quite interesting, getting the male perspective on the whole dating thing. I've been puzzling over it recently. All but one of my friends have partners at the moment which makes it hard to find people to hang out with sometimes.

    Jessie-J, I know what you mean about it seems like all the good ones are taken! I met this amazing guy on the weekend and we were getting along really well, then he tells me he separated from his wife only a couple of months ago and already has a serious girlfriend!

    I agree with michaelskis, the whole 'out of my league' thing is not at all helpful, and those of you who say you're dating someone who is out of your league - the fact that you're together proves they're not out of your league! I was with a guy for 5 years who had thought I was out of his league. He was wrong.

    I have not tried online dating but I'm not sure if it's a big thing here, so don't know what the options would be like.

  17. #42
    Cyburbian biscuit's avatar
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    Originally posted by JNL
    I have not tried online dating but I'm not sure if it's a big thing here, so don't know what the options would be like.
    I fell asleep on the couch watching T.V. last night and when I woke up around 3:00am The E! channel program Wild On was doing a show from Auckland and everyone was walking around town completely naked. I quickly ell back to sleep so I didn't get why they were doing that, but it seems like it may be a good place to find a date.
    No surprises I suppose.
    Last edited by biscuit; 19 Nov 2003 at 4:13 PM.

  18. #43
    Cyburbian JNL's avatar
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    Originally posted by biscuit
    I The E! channel program Wild On was doing a show from Auckland and everyone was walking around town completely naked. I
    When it gets warm enough we have Naked Days where clothes are optional. They're quite popular.















    Just kidding!

  19. #44
         
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    the leage thing isn't a valid excuse. I can't put myself in to a league. I'm just attracted to who I am attracted to. And if they are intelligent and personality-wise great, then chances for coming home with me are greater... If they're not attracted to me, then it doesn't bother me. I can't be everyone's type.

    I'm just frustrated because I've met so many great guys only to be shot down with the "I should tell you my situation so you don't get the wrong idea" or "I don't want to mislead you" speech.

    I am going out tonight with a guy that has a girlfriend, but we're still going to meet for a drink because I think he's hot and I think I can be better than his girlfriend. He knows I'm interested and he's still meeting me....what does that tell you?

  20. #45
    Cyburbian Jeff's avatar
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    Originally posted by Jessie-J

    I am going out tonight with a guy that has a girlfriend, but we're still going to meet for a drink because I think he's hot and I think I can be better than his girlfriend. He knows I'm interested and he's still meeting me....what does that tell you?
    Hes a playa.....sounds like something I would do

  21. #46
    Cyburbian jmf's avatar
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    Originally posted by Jessie-J
    I am going out tonight with a guy that has a girlfriend, but we're still going to meet for a drink because I think he's hot and I think I can be better than his girlfriend. He knows I'm interested and he's still meeting me....what does that tell you?
    does everybody else hear that noise - those are the warning bells - I think you have to think about what you want right now

    1. how old are you?
    2. how long was your last relationship?
    3. are you looking for a good time with no strings attached?
    4. are you ready to meet someone to spend a long time with?

    OK I'm a bit of a cynic, but a happily married one -

    if your answer to question 1 is 22-23 or less, then forget about question 4 - have fun - date the guy with the girlfriend but don't get attached, if he is dating you while he has a girlfriend then expect the same - also don't let them know how much you really like them - be blasť, laid-back make sure they understand you don't NEED them

    if your answer to question 2 is 1 year or more, again forget about question 4 - no matter how much you try to be yourself in a relationship you always change abit - take some time to figure yourself out again - get to know your friends again - do what you want when you want for a while - put yourself first

    if your answer to 3 is yes, then date the girlfriend guy but refer to the notes for question 1. and if you date him then date other people too - have fun - use the phrase - if I see you I see you, if I don't I don't - and mean it

    if your answer to question 4, is yes then the girlfirend guy is probably a bad bet - I am also a strong believer that just when you stop looking someone pops up so I never looked too hard

    sorry so long!

  22. #47
    Cyburbian biscuit's avatar
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    Originally posted by Jessie-J
    I am going out tonight with a guy that has a girlfriend, but we're still going to meet for a drink because I think he's hot and I think I can be better than his girlfriend. He knows I'm interested and he's still meeting me....what does that tell you?

    How do you think I hooked up with the girl I'm marrying?

  23. #48
    Cyburbian Jeff's avatar
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    Originally posted by biscuit
    How do you think I hooked up with the girl I'm marrying?
    She had a girlfriend at the time? Dude!! Nice !!

  24. #49
         
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    Dude. I am certainly not looking for anything serious, going with the no-strings-attached approach here.

    Last night was fun. He's easy to persuade. Let's just say that things had to be stopped before they got out of control.

  25. #50
    Cyburbian H's avatar
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    Originally posted by Jessie-J
    Last night was fun. He's easy to persuade. Let's just say that things had to be stopped before they got out of control.
    Damn youíre an evil one arenít you
    "Those who plan do better than those who do not plan, even though they rarely stick to their plan." - Winston Churchill

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