Prelude to the selection…

So we want tonight to introduce you to these gentlemen and lady again. We want to tell you as much as we can about them. We want to let them speak for themselves. And we want to learn how they differ from one another, because we think that's how you, the voters, are best going to be able to make up your minds.

So let's introduce them...

Beginning on the left, from the state of -- and please hold your applause until the end -- from the state of Illinois, former Ambassador Carol Moseley Braun.

From Arkansas, retired General Wesley Clark.

From New York, the Reverend Al Sharpton.

From North Carolina, Senator John Edwards.

From Missouri, Congressman Dick Gephardt.

From Massachusetts, Senator John Kerry.

From Vermont, former Governor Howard Dean.

From Ohio, Representative Dennis Kucinich.

And from the state of Connecticut, Senator Joe Lieberman.

You may applaud.

Governor…

I. Paradise

HOWARD:
I remember every little thing
As if it happened to Al only yesterday
Screwed by the Supreme Court in 00
And there was not another liberal hope in sight
And we never had a candidate
Looking any more liberal than you did, Al Gore!
And all the kids at Berkeley
They were wishing they were they were You that night!

AL GORE:
And now our bodies are oh so close and tight
It never felt so good, it never felt so right with Liberman
And we're glowing like the anger on the face of Fem-a-NAZI!
C'mon! Hold on tight!
C'mon! Hold on tight!

Though it's cold and lonely in the deep dark Primary
I can see paradise by the Iowa light

HILLARY:
Ain't no doubt about it
We were doubly blessed
Cause we were barely even seventeen %
And we were barely dressed

Ain't no doubt about it
Baby got to go and shout it
Ain't no doubt about it
We were doubly blessed

HOWARD:
Cause we were barely seventeen %
And we were barely dressed

Baby doncha hear my heart
You got it drowning out on New Hampshire radio
I've been waiting so long
For you to come along and have some fun

And I gotta let ya know
No you're never gonna regret it – Cause I sealed all my records!
So open up your eyes I got a big surprise
It'll feel all right
Well I wanna make the 2004 DNC run

And now our bodies are oh so close and tight
It never felt so good, it never felt so right, since JFK!
And we're glowing like the anger on the face of Fem-a-NAZI!
C'mon! Hold on tight!
C'mon! Hold on tight!

Though it's cold and lonley in the deep dark Primary
I can see paradise by the Iowa light
Paradise by the New Hampshire light

You got to do what you can
And let the liberal media do the rest
Ain't no doubt about it
We were doubly blessed
Cause we were barely seventeen %
And we were barely--

We're gonna go all the way tonight!
We're gonna go allt he way
An tonight's the night...

Liberal Media Radio Broadcast:
Ok, here we go, we got a real pressure cooker
going here, two down, nobody on, no score,
bottom of the ninth, there's the wind-up and
there it is, a line shot up the middle, look
at him go. This boy can really fly!
He's rounding first and really turning it on
now, he's not letting up at all, he's gonna
try for second; the ball is bobbled out in center,
and here comes the throw, and what a throw!
He's gonna slide in head first, here he comes, he's out!
No, wait, safe--safe at second base, this kid really
makes things happen out there.
Batter steps up to the plate, here's the pitch--
he's going, and what a jump he's got, he's trying
for third, here's the throw, it's in the dirt--
safe at third! Holy cow, stolen platform!
He's taking a pretty big lead out there, almost
daring him to try and pick him off. The pitcher
glance over, winds up, and it's bunted, bunted
down the third base line, the suicide squeeze in on!
Here he comes, squeeze play, it's gonna be close,
here's the throw, there's the play at the plate,
holy cow, I think he's gonna make it!

II. Let Me Blame Bush for it...

HILLARY:
Stop right there!
I gotta know right now, Howard!
Before we go any further--!

Do you love Pride?
Will you love NOW forever?
Do you need the AARP?
Will you never leave Barbara?
Will you make UC Berkeley so happy for the rest of their life?
Will you take the 2nd Ammendment away and will you grab their guns?
Do you love NOW!?
Will you love taxes forever!?
Do you need power!?
Will you never leave Barbara!?
Will you make UC Berkeley so happy for the rest of their life!?
Will you take Hillary away and will you make her your VICE!?
I gotta know right now
Before we go any further
Do you love NOW!!!?
Will you love the AFL-CIO forever!!!?

HOWARD:
Let me blame Bush for it!!!
Baby, baby let me obfuscate
Let me blame Bush for it!!!
And I'll give you my answer after inauguration

Let me blame Bush for it!!!
Baby, baby let me obfuscate
Let me blame Bush for it!!!
And I'll give you my answer after inauguration

Let me blame Bush for it!!!
Baby, baby let me obfuscate
Let me blame Bush for it!!!
And I'll give you my answer after inauguration

HILLARYl:
I gotta know right now!
Do you love NOW?
Will you love AARP forever?
Do you need power?
Will you never leave Barbara?
Will you make UC Berkeley so happy for the rest of my life?
Will you take their guns away and will you make me your VICE?
I gotta know right now!
Before we go to New Hampshire
Do you love NOW?
And will you love the AFL-CIO forever?

HOWARD:
Let me blame Bush for it
Baby, baby let me blame Bush for it
Let me blame Bush for it
And I'll give you my answer after inaguration
Let me blame Bush for it!!!

HILLARY:
Will you love Barbara forever?

HOWARD:
Let me blame Bush for it!!!

HILLARY:
Will you love PRIDE forever!!!

III. Praying for the End of Time

HOWARD:
I couldn't take it any longer
Lord I was crazed
And when the feeling came upon me
Like an intern on Bill!
I started swearing to my god and on Stalin’s grave
That I would make you my VICE to the end of time
I swore that I would make you my VICE to the end of time!

So now I'm praying for the end of my first term
To hurry up and arrive
Cause if I gotta spend another minute with you
I don't think that I can really survive
I'll never break my promise or forget Al Franken
But God only knows what I can do right now
I'm praying for the end of time
It's all that I can do
Praying for the end of time, so I can end my first term with you!!!

BILL:
It was long ago and it was far away
and it was so much better than it is today

HILLARY:
It never felt so good
It never felt so right
And we were glowing like
The anger on the face of a Fem-a-NAZI!

http://www.deanforamerica.com/

My appologies to Meatloaf.

Rock On!