Board resignation because of media attention

I would think that providing support and encouragement would be fine. However the ultimate decision should be hers.

I understand that this may be seen as hitting two fundemental and conflicting ethics of AICP.

Support and encouragement though acknowlegding you think she is following correct proceedure 'education'.

vs

Overstepping boundaries in the decision- making process.

Great topic. I'd love to see what others have to say.

I think a lot depends on the size/make-up of the community. In larger cities I think it is easier for Planning Board/Commission members to become just another face in the crowd. In your town LP, it seems more of the "everybody knows everybody" kind of place.

The easy answer is that she shouldn't resign, but we don't live or work in a vacuum. The way you describe it, it isn't worth if for her. Perhaps she could resign and find some other avenue to offer her ideas and influence.

If she has good ideas than why wouldn't the media be supportive of her? Has she made some statements that are controversial and against the sentiments of the majority of the community?

Still, the media ought to respect the fact that she is just doing her job by providing input on projects.

A few things that come to mind:

A) I was encouraged to stay in a role (in an online forum) once that was not working for me. I could see the handwriting on the wall and was trying to leave quietly and people didn't want me to go and more than one person asked me to stay (including the person who ultimately threw me out). Ultimately, it led to me getting thrown out and lots of hard feelings all around. And the kicker is that when I was tossed, I was told something like "If you don't want to be here, you can just leave. You don't have to make trouble." Um, yeah. I tried that. Remember???

B) Conversely, I have been in situations where I felt pressured and was resistant to the situation and was given genuine, unconditional support to do whatever I wanted or needed to do to meet my own needs, which led to me feeling less pressured and less resistant and so on. Completely different outcome.

C) She may have great ideas design-wise but that doesn't mean she knows how to deal with the social stuff. Some study found that it takes about 30 seconds (or 90 seconds?) worth of polite, sociable chit-chat to drastically reduce the rate at which doctors get sued for malpractice. I would consider offering to help her learn to deal more effectively with this side of it. And I don't mean just suck up to people or something like that. There are ways to state your position which make is less personal. It may still tick people off but it leaves them less room to make it about YOU and leaves less room for mudslinging and so on. In my experience, "emotional support" is a rather weak thing to give someone. In my experience, if someone is hurting emotionally, there is a real problem they are hurting over and if you can help them resolve the actual problem, the need for "emotional support" largely dissipates on its own.

If you REALLY want this woman to stay, I would suggest that A) you bend over backwards to NOT become a new source of pressure for her (ie by begging her to stay) B) Start working on helping her learn the skills she needs to face this stuff rather than just being a shoulder to cry on because giving your shoulder helps turn her into a crybaby and actually makes her emotionally weaker. And if she goes, make your peace with it. Or, if possible, offer a temporary sabbatical from the position. Sometimes people need a break and then miss what they left. If it's possible to let her have a break but leave the door open to her returning, that might have surprising results.

well, she's going to resign - I had tea at her house yesterday and listened more than anything - I did tell her to have a face to face with the Chair of the Town Council so she knows what's going on - and worked through her thoughts with her on her letter -

I do feel she is empowering the press, and the applicants, too, who have publicly riled against her but she needs a life too

I am meeting today with the Chair of the Planning Board who wants to write a letter to the editor defending her

Surely it is the BOARD as a Board that makes the decisions, not one member? Does she bully the other members into going her way, or do they support her positions because they are sensible? It is cheering to hear that the Chair is willing to defend her publicly, bu surely s/he should have done this a while ago. Boards were presumably set up in the first place to circumvent the problem of one individual making all the decisions...and presumably a Board should be constituted to represent a variety of interests and views. One of the issues therefore would seem to be to get Boards to act properly as Boards, and Board Chairs to act properly as Chairs...which includes facing the public on behalf of the entire Board and all its members.

This might make an interesting subject for a thread.

I agree with most of what other people have written, especially that the decision to stay or leave must ultimately be hers.

I'm sorry for your sake. But I really believe that if she cannot take the pressure, it is better to get while the gettin' is good and not wait until she blows a gasket at a meeting or something. That kind of incident would empower the opposition way more than her simply leaving.

It's a volunteer position. It simply isn't reasonable to expect volunteers to take too much crap. They may feel loyal and obligated, but they lose very little by walking away and when faced with so much fallout, they gain a heckuva lot more than they lose.

Let me suggest (if it isn't too late) that you and whomever else is involved try to avoid making this about her. Making it about her does her a disservice, is a weak position that doesn't address the issues (since she is, as you stated earlier, almost certainly not the real problem but merely a lightening rod for the issues at stake), and just empowers the opposition by letting them keep everyone distracted with more focus on the mudslinging. Any defense of her should be stated briefly and used as a sequeway into discussing the real issues. You can even use language like "she had become a lightening rod for local issues. These issues are not going to go away just because it cost the board a good volunteer." And then address the issues. But do it in as non-inflammatory a fashion as possible. Don't give them anything to piss them off further, question your decisions as possibly being motivated by revenge, etc. For example, you can talk about how change is always hard rather than mentioning the evils of the old-boy network.

I am thinking that a thread about these underlying issues and how to effectively address this larger situation would likely be fascinating stuff. :-)

yes, the letter the Chair is writing is more issue-based that the full Board is contending with - this Board takes heat from the applicant, the abutters and then when they get appealed to the local appeals board (not court), they are not upheld - and they are really a good board

so yeah, they understand I am laying low with all of this because of my position

this member is actually one of the least intimidating people around so it's laughable that applicants are coming out against her - except that they know she is sensitive and thus can be bullied - since she is a landscape architect, she does make comments on site design issues and grading and such which freaks out the applicant

it's unfortunate and it's going to get a little rough as she said she is not leaving without a stink - I did tell her to speak privately with the Chair of the Town Council first

Sorry to hear all this. It sounds somewhat ugly.

I am now holding her resignation letter she just dropped off - 3 pages long, not too bitter