How I gave money to the ACLU
Back when I was in the military, they had a charity-giving program called the Combined Federal Campaign (CFC). The officers liked to have everyone in their unit donate so they could get “100% Unit Member CFC Participation” on their little job performance evaluations. Thus, the routine would go like this. There will be a 700-mile hike with M-60 and full battle load this Saturday morning at 2:00 am. Those members wishing to donate to the CFC this year will be given a pass for Saturday’s Fun Hike. In my 13-man unit, I was the only one that refused to donate to the CFC. First, my supervisor, then my First Sergeant, and then my Commander called me in the office and told me how it was my duty to donate to charity and this was a most wonderful opportunity to share my blessings with others. Why I could even choose among something like two hundred charities to donate towards.
The suggested donation was a minimum of $24 a year. I explained that I had a wife and a child and I was living on $12,000 a year in an off post hellhole. After I paid for uniforms, transportation, and housing - because there was not any available housing on post - I was the one that they should be giving a check to and not the freaking CFC, if they felt so generous. I pointed out that the nation consider me well below the poverty line and that technically I qualified for Food Stamps and WIC. If I had decided to apply I would be elegable for several other poverty programs as well. That failed to impress.
Finally, they said we will see you Saturday morning for the fun run. I pointed out that the post SOP required a minimum of four runners for a unit run on post. Safety and all. I told them I looked forward to seeing them there also. I was in the best shape of the four of us. At this point, I was no longer looking to be promoted further in my career.
They finally said they give me credit for being stubborn and if I donated, I would get to go to some special classes on computers, which I really wanted to attend. I was bribed by officers and non-comissioned officers. I accepted the bribe and donated $12 to the ACLU, and $12 to the John Birch Society ( a legal CFC charity ). Thus, my money acted like matter and antimatter, it met somewhere in the legal system and went pooof in a blinding flash of incongruity.
Technically, I have supported the ACLU.