I play it case by case. There are some items I will not bend on and others that I realize need to be bent because the system as presented does not work.
items I won't bend on on ones that will effect the long term use of a property (ie subdivision, permanent building location) or ones that have a probability of causing danger to people or the environment (ie well location, lot size and septics, coastal/wetlands).
items that need some bending and flexibility, within the ever popular "general intent of the plan", include number of parking spaces, height of buildings, height of fences and the sort of thing that you can measure "creatively". But I always look at the "general intent" of the plan.
As soon as someone asks me to ignore the rules or cheat the answer is pretty much no, if they let me look and see what I can do to help them out then the answer is maybe.