Bad Boys & Girls

[Queen B]

Inspired by these comments:

Nothing unusual about that. Seems like the usual dating preferences of most North American women.

(turns and runs)


Throwing down the gauntlet, eh? That got me to thinking. I have never actually dated a guy with tattoos. Or one who rode a motorcycle. Hmmm..... maybe it's time to try the bad boys....


__________________

Ladies, and Gentlemen too,

What did the worst, bad boy or girl, you dated do?

I will answer first.

My bad boy, armed robbery, only he says he wasn't armed. And the tattoos came in jail. I am so so so glad he grew up.

 

[SW MI Planner]

This is all the same person:
Cheated on my like 500 times while we were dating and engaged (it was 8 years since from when we met to when we stopped talking). I found out the one time while I was visiting him in Germany, and the "other woman" was a 14 year old German girl (He was 20).

Would always try to get back together with me and profess his undying love and stupid me fell for it a lot. The last time thank God I told him I couldn't do it anymore and then found out the whole time he had a pregnant girlfriend. They ended up getting married shortly thereafter, of course she had to divorce her husband first.

Has like 15 tattoo's and both of his nipples pierced.

Got kicked out of the army.

Don't know if he's ever been arrested, or done anything illegal, or was strung out on drugs. I stopped talking to him when we were both like 22 years old, so who knows what else he's been into since then.

Funny thing #1 - his dad is a baptist pastor

Funny thing #2 - I haven't talked to him in 7 years, and just last week I got an email from him - he had found my email on the internet. Really freaked me out.

Alan, bet you can figure out who I'm talking about

 

[NHPlanner]

I don't think I've dated any "bad girls."


Unless of course tattoos and piercings are the signs of a "bad girl," and in that case my wife is one.

 

[Chet]

Sheesh. Worst I can say is smokin and drinkin.

I tend to be the bad boy though !

 

[Wannaplan?]

Alan, bet you can figure out who I'm talking about

Yep. I didn't know he was that bad! WOW! I always thought he was sort of a goofball.

 

[Duke Of Dystopia]

The bad thing about this thread is the fact that everybody can point to what is meant by "bad boy or girl" but what comes to mind is surface deep.

The guys all want to be bad because being nice and polite has never seemed to work for us, and I don't pretend to know about the women.

It all breaks down after the surface. Someone found out so and so was really just a jerk, but they had to test drive em first to find out. Or less than acceptable looks were used "she had to be a bad girl, she come out of the place dressed in black carrying a whip". Name your qualifier!

I could name a lot of odd things I have seen, people I have talked to, or generally interesting events. I have run into exactly 0 people who were actaully "bad" and people liked to be around them.

Bad is a spouse or partner abuser, sexual predator, miscreant, etc......

Fetish in todays terms is more of an intense interest in an object or being that creates a state of excitement that psychologicly hightens a desired result or outcome (substituted desired for pleasurable). Fetish in the strictest terms is more acurate as a strong desire rather than more strict definitions of an actual need for something.

Coming back around to topic, we have a society that has a fetish for an image of less than wholesomeness. Nice guys loose because they just might turn out to be nice, and boring. But the significant other shouldn't be too BAD, thats not safe.

People are feakin NUTS!

 

[Queen B]

Duke,
I understand that the definition is very vague but I think maybe I was looking for that surface stuff.
Like those partners your folks would not want you to date.
We used to think those "motorcycle gang" guys were kind of exciting. Would I have been bad to get a ride as a teen, yes. Do I think they are bad now, no.
Yes, I understand that times and expectations change and that truely bad people ( abusers, molesters) are out there in their own relm.
But it could still be an interesting topic.

 

[carlomarx]

I plan to get together with a "bad girl", but who knows if it's going to work out. I don't want it to be lasting, but I want to have a little fun. ...not looking for a hot and heavy relationship, just hot.

I'm the quintessential nice guy, no tats (yet), hold doors open for girls, call my mother, smile for pictures. All that crap puts me in the same category as the Duke. Where's my damn reward for courtesy? Isn't life too short to miss opportunities? even if it means breaking a few rules?

 

[Zoning Goddess]

So, are there any cyburbian "bad guys" in Florida????

 

[Duke Of Dystopia]

Duke,
...it could still be an interesting topic.

I think you are absolutly right on that

I think I sounded to harsh. Let me try again

I don't think in terms of good or bad boys & girls any more. Just more or less interesting. Measured by the depth to which they are hooked on a fetish of one type or other. Even normal people have really interesting and bizzare bahavior to watch or encounter. You would never know unless you are there at the right time

I am going to stop now before I continue to bable like I am in some kind of zone or something

 

[Duke Of Dystopia]

So, are there any cyburbian "bad guys" in Florida????

I can promise an interesting night in CHI

 

[H]

So, are there any cyburbian "bad guys" in Florida????

Wish I could claim that one ZG, but I am pretty much a dork. But hey, that suits me fine :-D

 

[Michele Zone]

Hey, Queen B and DoD,
If we are talking 'that surface stuff' -- ie other people's perception -- well, it can be really funny what other people percieve that has absolutely nothing to do with reality.

I recieved a UPS package recently. I went at 7:30 or 8:00 a.m. to pick up my package. The only folks at the office was the guy in charge of maintenance and the woman who cleans the apartments when folks move out. She didn't recognize me and asked which apartment I lived in. He "explained" to her that I must have a second residence and that is why she 'never saw me'.

At first, I figured the guy was joking. We live on one income and probably have the rattiest car in the parking lot. For someone to think I have a bigger house somewhere else and I keep this little apartment in addition to my mansion and just stay here occasionally, was mindboggling. Then I realized: people hardly ever see me because I tend to sleep days, people don't see my kids that much in part because one of them also has serious health problems and does not play outside, people don't see my husband much because he works long hours and goes out of town frequently, and this guy -- as the maintenance man -- probably has no clue what my ratty car looks like, he only knows what awesome decor I have. (I have awesome decor in part because I am housebound a lot -- I am here "24/7", so it is really important to me that the furnishings work hard and look great.)

So, since I don't have a lifestyle like other people, don't have a schedule like other people, don't have the same priorities as other people and am generally 'out of step' with 'normal' people, I am this mysterious, exotic woman with this mysterious, exotic lifestyle. Rather than guessing the truth -- that I just hardly ever leave the house -- folks figure I am off elsewhere much of the time, living my exotic and mysterious life and apparently doing so with style and tons of money. Gosh, I am such an Interesting Individual -- until you get to know me. lol.

And this is hardly the first time in my life where a casual conversation with someone revealed perceptions of me that were completely erroneous and far more Interesting/exotic-sounding than my actual Reality.

Maybe we should start a new thread: do other people have 'alter egos' that make them SOUND like 'bad' boys or girls? Do other people get asked about their fascinating, jet-set lifestyle (that doesn't actually exist)?

 

[Duke Of Dystopia]

Hey, Queen B and DoD,
If we are talking 'that surface stuff' --

Nope, not talkin surface stuff I like to watch peoples odd behavior, it's a window on the soul so to speak It also gives you something to do while you are drinking beer. It then dawns upon me about the 4th or 5th beer that life is alright, as I am nowhere NEAR as F'd UP as other people are

 

[Michele Zone]

DoD,
I don't drink beer, but I have often come to the same conclusion -- that I am not nearly as f'd up as other folks. I have gotten a lot of what I wanted out of life and some of the things I have been frustrated with, well, it turns out there were good reasons for such stuff and it is being addressed now that I know the cause.

I have known an awful lot of people whose 'left hand does not know what the right is doing', so to speak: their consciously stated goals and the like do not jibe with the big life-choices they keep making. And they keep finding themselves in a pretty pickle.

SW MI Planner mentioned a 'bad boy' boyfriend and said 'Funny thing is, his daddy was a pastor'. In my observation, that isn't 'funny' at all: it seems pretty typical. Think of some of our 'wildest' musicians: Madonna, the lead singer of Creed, Alice Cooper, and many others -- they either grew up in strictly religious households or their father was a minister. It seems pretty clear that when you are overly judgmental, controlling, rejecting of basic human needs (such as sexuality and various social drives), etc, the child you raise very often turns out to be rebellious against those values -- probably at least in part due to growing up surrounded by hypocrisy.

My observation is that the most uptight people -- the one's most worried about 'what the neighbor's think' and garbage like that -- are usually the one's who carry unresolved feelings of guilt from their own wild youth. They are the quickest to condemn you for doing just like what they once did. Alice Cooper's preacher daddy was an alcoholic in his youth, and his genes ran true: So was Alice.

 

[biscuit]

I plan to get together with a "bad girl", but who knows if it's going to work out. I don't want it to be lasting, but I want to have a little fun. ...not looking for a hot and heavy relationship, just hot.

I'm the quintessential nice guy, no tats (yet), hold doors open for girls, call my mother, smile for pictures. All that crap puts me in the same category as the Duke. Where's my damn reward for courtesy?

I do all those things as well and my relations with the "bad girls" got a lot better once I accepted that I could never and would never be a true bad boy. Embrace your inner dork because those bad girls you refer to often mistake manners and niceness for naivete. And if there's one thing a bad girl can't resist it's breaking in an "innocent" good boy. Go and get 'em

 

[Chet]

M zone - Your posts are soooooo long winded, does anyone bother to read them? I dont anymore.

*eye roll*

 

[Downtown]

Bad Boys - I've never been much for bad boys, but i guess the worst of my past was in college, a chain smoker and tobacco chewer, raging binge drinker who tried to slit his wrists after i broke up with him. two seconds after he had presented me with a stuffed animal that he had hand sewn for me.

On second thought - in college I was much more the bad girl - smoked, drank, partied and serial hook-upper. Settled down when I met my husband. who is the Anti-Bad Boy. Always called when he said he would, has a great relationship with his family, does windows, dusting and vaccuuming and drives the speed limit. Any woman that rejects a man for the sole reason that he is "Too Nice" is an idiot.

 

[Chet]

Bad Boys - I've never been much for bad boys, but i guess the worst of my past was in college, a chain smoker and tobacco chewer, raging binge drinker who tried to slit his wrists after i broke up with him. two seconds after he had presented me with a stuffed animal that he had hand sewn for me.

UMMM Thats not Bad thats just Sad.

 

[Zoning Goddess]

Any woman that rejects a man for the sole reason that he is "Too Nice" is an idiot.

So true. Guess that's why I generally end up with the nice ones. I prefer to think of them as dependable, attentive, and responsible, not dorky.

 

[biscuit]

On second thought - in college I was much more the bad girl - smoked, drank, partied and serial hook-upper.

Makes me kind of miss the fun of college vices - Wait I still do a few of those things on occassion. You know...It's just to bad we weren't in tiger-town at the same time.

 

[Michele Zone]

M zone - Your posts are soooooo long winded, does anyone bother to read them? I dont anymore.

*eye roll*

Chet,
I don't know. You would have to ask 'anyone else'. The sad part: I edit it down from even longer than that. That's just me: long winded. I am certainly not everyone's cup of tea.

 

[Downtown]

UMMM Thats not Bad thats just Sad.

He's sad. and its sad that that's the baddest boy i've got in my past.

On the other hand - Rob was a bad, BAD man this week - he was lazy and put his shirts in the dryer instead of line drying them like usual so they won't "wear" as much. hee.

 

[Jeff]

On the other hand - Rob was a bad, BAD man this week - he was lazy and put his shirts in the dryer instead of line drying them like usual so they won't "wear" as much. hee.

The nerve of him....and I bet he made you hang them up when they were dry didn't he?


BTW....I gave up reading the M Zone posts a long time ago too, there's just not enough time in the day.

 

[Jen]

Uh why must we publicly tell someone we dont' like to read their posts? I really don't want to see a pile-on here.


My bad boy was a HS dropout druggie surfer - totalled three cars in the four years we dated. The first crash was with me in the car and wrapped us round a telephone pole.

I had the cops called on him once and saw him put in the cruiser, I then went home and guess who was hiding in my bedroom, without my parents knowing?!?! How he got away from the cops and broke into my house in the span of 2-3 hours is still a mystery.

Luckily I found my way out of that mess relatively unscarred and much much wiser!

 

[giff57]

So true. Guess that's why I generally end up with the nice ones. I prefer to think of them as dependable, attentive, and responsible, not dorky.

Where were you girls when I was single? I always got dumped for the "bad boys"....geez

 

[NHPlanner]

Where were you girls when I was single? I always got dumped for the "bad boys"....geez

So true.....same for me as well!

 

[Seabishop]

Even in high school I never liked Bad Girls. I always preferred the cute, studious girls to the smokin' and drinkin' ones. - Not that I actually spoke to any girls in high school.

 

[Mastiff]

I was the bad boy... Hence, I made a point out of making good girls into bad girls.

M Zone is right about preachers kids, too. Even though it's a stereotype, it's pretty well deserved.

 

[SlaveToTheGrind]

Guys always like the bad girls, but will only take home the good girls. I like a good girl, who is only bad at home.

 

[biscuit]

M Zone is right about preachers kids, too. Even though it's a stereotype, it's pretty well deserved.

I would suggest that every self proclaimed good boy go out with apreachers daughter at once in their lifetime. Praise the Lord! Those girls will certainly help you find religion.

 

[Planderella]

I would suggest that every self proclaimed good boy go out with apreachers daughter at once in their lifetime. Praise the Lord! Those girls will certainly help you find religion.

By any chance, are you talking about your future Mrs?

 

[PlannerGirl]

Smiles at Mastiff

Um whats wrong with being a bad girl or boy? I think its all on what you call "bad"

 

[biscuit]

By any chance, are you talking about your future Mrs?

Certainly not. The future Mrs. is a saintly pious woman and a vision of purity.

Na, she's a good girl who is just bad enough to keep me interested and other men jealous.

 

[H]

Na, I'm marrying a good girl who is just bad enough to keep me interested and other men jealous.

sounds like a good catch.

 

[Duke Of Dystopia]

Purity SUCKS!

when it comes to women, the uptight, prudes and amatuers need not apply!

 

[Mastiff]

Smiles at Mastiff

Um whats wrong with being a bad girl or boy? I think its all on what you call "bad"

Not a damn thing, in my opinion... Social mores are overrated, no one can regulate morality (nor should they try...), and better to have things out in the open than in dark corners where people get hurt. People have desires, we're made that way.

Even him...



Just my opinion, your mileage may vary.

 

[Michele Zone]

I am with Plannergirl: Just depends upon what you call 'bad'. I was, oh, feeling guilty about doing something 'bad' (had nothing to do with sex and I don't remember what it was) some weeks ago and my husband said "You are sometimes at your best when you are being 'bad'." I thought that was a sex joke. Nope. He meant the $2000 out of my student loan that I spent on furniture right before leaving for GIS school.

I considered that to be a legitimate school-related need and could not have gone to school without doing it. But I doubt the loan officer would be terribly approving.

People get way too hung up about stupid stuff and few folks know how to really live and really get their own needs met (or meet the needs of people around them). I have a better idea than most of what I need and how to get it (in bed or out) and I suppose that is why total strangers figure me for having some exotic, jet-set lifestyle rather than being some housebound 'invalid'. I am also extremely good at figuring out what folks close to me need and giving it to them -- I suppose that is part of why I have been married so long, even though it has hardly been a, um, peaceful journey.

 

[SlaveToTheGrind]

Smiles at Mastiff

Um whats wrong with being a bad girl or boy? I think its all on what you call "bad"

I think we all need to meet at the APA conf. in DC next year and see how "bad" PlannerGirl really is. I'm sure Mike D. is with me on this one.

 

[Dan]

Remember our friend and one-time Cyburbianite Theresa?

Remember that, about a year ago, she met a guy who got her pregnant?

The guy that got her pregnant was named "Stone." Really. When there were pictures up on the site that howed the guy, he looked like a big, unsmiling, bald bouncer-type. Typical bad boy.

I think we all need to meet at the APA conf. in DC next year and see how "bad" PlannerGirl really is. I'm sure Mike D. is with me on this one.

I've met PG, and I have the pictures to prove it. Contrary to her online persona, she's a fairly normal, nice girl. Very talkative, and a lot fo fun.

 

[PlannerGirl]

blush

thanks Dan, btw send me some of those pics i cant find mine!

there is a time to be "bad" and a time to have your stuff together-the key is knowing when is when

;-)

 

[Cirrus]

Goodness, PG. Quite the reputation you've got around here.

... Should I mention what store got you really excited last weekend? Nah.

 

[Duke Of Dystopia]

Goodness, PG. Quite the reputation you've got around here.

... Should I mention what store got you really excited last weekend? Nah.

Thats cause she talks about whips and all the submissive types get horney!

 

[PlannerGirl]

humm the store that got me excited..you mean when i went shopping for my doggies a new treat thing? Lol everyone here knows how much of a dog nut i am

Yes I have a rep ;-) gotta bring some life to us stuffy old planner types.

hope you enjoyed the charette (i can never spell that word right) of Clarendon and welcome to Cyburbia.

Your quite the bad boy yourself ;-)

 

[Michele Zone]

Thats cause she talks about whips and all the submissive types get horney!

That would be, what? ... Most cyburbanites? I mean, most of you are bureaucrats. You must really have a masochistic streak...

 

[Rem]

... most of you are bureaucrats...

You say that like it's a bad thing.

 

[PlannerGirl]

I donno Im thinking we are all sadists, we like to see developers and lawyers squirm

 

[Duke Of Dystopia]

I mean, most of you are bureaucrats. You must really have a masochistic streak...

I think you have your words mixed up. A masochist is somebody who recieves punishment and likes it. A sadist is a person who gives punishment and likes it.

If, as you suggest, we are masochists, we would be termed "A Smartass Bottom"

If, as I believe, we are more like enlightened sadists, then we we endure what we must in order to bring utopian living condition to the sometimes less than submissive denizens of urbanity wherever we are at. Since this entails repeated fights, parcel by parcel, we are sadisticly working our will on society.

It is better to give than recieve!

 

[Michele Zone]

Ah, well, I am still a college student. So, I must have been brainwashed by the media -- and my career-bureaucrat (not a planner) sister's opinions.

 

[Michele Zone]

You say that like it's a bad thing.

You got me, Rem -- I am just talking bad about you out of jealousy, since I am highly likely to never be a beauracrat. Booo, hooo, hooo. Sob!