el Guapo said:
el Guapo
We discovered Rumpy Tuna's lifeless body in the back of a Subaru Forester that same morning. He had freebased, and eventually overdosed that night on a combination of a bootleg mp3 of a KD Lang version of "Going to the River" recorded at Lilith Fair, '98, menthol Pal Malls, trail mix and Zima. He was drawn to the flannel-side like a moth to a flame. He burned too bright, our Rumpy...(Narrator: eG tries to control his sobs here for a minute, then resumes the interview).
Chet It was a morality tale of some sorts. That kid wasn't right in the head. He was killing more kittens than me at the time, and he lived with his woman. All I had was foxy bowling at the time, and let me tell you it wasn't foxy 99.9% of the time.
Narrator Yes, foxy bowling, but what kind of visious cycle would fuel an upcoming Tuna to take this direction in life? Only kitten killing and time would tell.
Rumpy Tunanator (the tuna formally known as Rumpy Tuna) For a while there, I didn't know what was going on. Vodka, gasoline, bourbon, gasoline. Everything was moving so quickly that I hit it like a brick wall. A few weeks later I crawled out of my grave and realized that life was hitting rock bottom again, from here on it was nothing but up (as he recalls seeing Dudley Moore in "On the Rocks").
El Guapo Yeah, we should have probally checked for his pulse before we buried him.....but I had target practice and God only knows that the gun toting Rumpy wouldn't have wanted me to be late.
Narrator He had been left for dead, but Tunas always fight back.
Rumpy Tunanator It was a time for reflection and possibly self intervention. After I got all of the worms out of my mouth, I think I actually accomplished some work during that period (if that seems at all possible). The rock business actually picked up once I got back to the street corner. Things were flying off the shelf once again. People asked what happened to me, saying the rock they were getting was of
. I told them "Life is like a vegatarian with the runs. You become a salad shooter at that point" or whatever that means.
Dan And this is the same guy designing Donald Duck "ride them" toys outside your local supermarket (or Walmart-Super Center)
Rumpy Tunanator I always wondered where I was going in life, but somewhere down the line,
Budgie made me confused. Always talking about some magical device called a Segway. Sounded to me like a hoover-board out of the movie "Back to the Future". Still I thought, that guy knows his brew, he's allright. I only thought this until I realized his favorite movie was Clockwork Orange. From that point on I thought I would become re-sensitized. Boy, was I wrong, I feel more desensitized as the days go on. Shout out to myself: rock on, and get your
private circumstances in order, because......(it seems like you might be sleeping on that couch until the lease expires).
Narrator Yes, we may never understand him, but one thing is for certain. Rumpy Tunanator has issues....
