From my New Mexico years: "No ingles! No ingles!" Also, "But they allow it in El Paso!"
I also liked the one I got from a car dealer in those years. "The auto companies won't let us put different brand names on the same sign, or the new car and used car divisions of the dealerships on the same sign. We must have separate freestanding signs for Chevrolet, Buick, Cadillac, Mazda, GMC, Volvo and the used car section!"
When I was in Florida, it seemed that every junked car in a certain neighborhood didn't belong to the property owner, but instead their "cousin."
Another Florida one, from an elder of a church with an illegal off-site directional sign, in all seriousness: "We need to point the way to the church, so people can find us if there's a hurricane, so they can come here and pray for their lives."
Seems like every other surveyor who comes in with a lot split needs to have it done yesterday, because "they're closing on the property tomorrow" or "the lock on their interest rate expires tomorrow."