Blonde Eh?

[el Guapo]

A blonde goes to the used car lot to buy a car because she is moving to Toronto and she is driving all the way there from Newfoundland. The salesman shows her several cars, and the blonde spots one with a ticket on it "ONLY $75". "Wow, that's cheap!!", says the blonde. I am moving to Toronto and am going to need all the money I can get, so that's a really good deal for a car!" "Oh yes, " says the salesman, "but you don't want that car, it has no reverse!" "That's OK, " says the blonde, "I'm not coming back.

 

[Dan]

A blonde goes to the used car lot to buy a car because she is moving to Toronto and she is driving all the way there from Newfoundland.

Did her last name end in "ski"?

 

[Glomer]

I'm not female and i'm not a blond.........but don't be ripping on the polish!!!!!!

Glomski

 

[Downtown]

My favorite! (and I'm Polish, not blond)

-A little blonde girl comes back from school one evening.

She runs to her mum and says: "Mummy today at school we learnt how to count. Well, all the other girls only counted to 5, but listen to me:
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10! It's good, innit?"

"Yes, darling, very good." Answers the mom.

"Is that because I'm blonde?" she asks.

"Yes, darling, it's because you're blonde." The mom says.

Next day, the little girl comes back from school and says: "Mummy, today at school we learnt the alphabet. All the other girls only went as far as D, but listen to me: A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K! It's good, innit?"

"Yes, darling, very good." Answers the mom.

"Is that because I'm blonde, mummy?" she asks.

"Yes, darling it's because you're blonde." The mom says.

Next Day, she returns from school and cries: "Mummy, today we went swimming. Well, all the other girls have no breasts, but look at me!"
She proceeds to flash her impressive 36D at her mummy. "Is that because I'm blonde, mummy?"

"No darling, it's because you're 25."

 

[Chet]

don't forget the daigos

Whaddya call an Italian with one-arm?



Speech impaired.

 

[Journeymouse]

2 versions of Englishman, Scotsman, Welshman

The Anglophile version:
There's an Englishman, Scotsman and a Welshman walking along the beach. They find this old lamp, and the Englishman (being the gentile, tidy person he is) tries to clean it up a bit. As he does so, he rubs the lamp and (surprise!) a Genie comes out. The genie grants them 3 wishes (that's one each, in case you aren't paying attention). The Scotsman takes his wish first, and asks for a purse that never empties (being the tight, Scots b*****d he is). The genie gives him the purse and he goes off to do his Scot celebrating thing (which should never be talked about in polite company). The Welshman thinks for a bit, and then asks for an impenetratable wall to hold the English out of Wales. And the genie grants his wish. Finally, the Englishman can have his wish. He, too, thinks for a bit. Then he says, "This wall, can water get through?". The genie gives him a funny look and says that no, it's completely impenetrable to everything. The Englishman gives a decisive nod and says, "Right, Fill it up and drown the taffy b*****s." The Welshman burst into tears as his home country floods and the Englishman goes off to watch Match of the Day.

The Anglophobe version (and the one I like):
There's an Englishman, Scotsman and a Welshman walking along the beach. They find this old lamp, and the Englishman (being the fussy, upper class cliche he is) tries to clean it up a bit. As he does so, he rubs the lamp and (as before) a Genie comes out. The genie grants them 3 wishes (ditto). The Scotsman takes his wish first, and asks for a purse full of money that never empties (being the wily Scot that he is). The genie gives him the purse and he sits back with a satisfied smile to watch the rest of the proceedings. The Englishman thinks for a bit, and then asks for an impenetratable wall to hold all the riffraff/non-English out of his home country. And the genie grants his wish. Finally, the Welshman gets his turn. He's not as canny as the Scotsman but he recognises a great oppurtunity when he sees one. Winking at the Scotsman he says, "This wall, can water get through?". The genie gives him a funny look and says that no, it's completely impenetrable to everything. The Welshman gives a decisive nod and says, "Right, fill it up and drown the b******s." England gets drowned, the Englishman bursts into tears and the other two go off to the pub to celebrate.

 

[Dan]

I'm not female and i'm not a blond.........but don't be ripping on the polish!!!!!!

I'll type all my messages much slower, so Cyburbia's users of Polish descent can read them easier.

(Dan ducks and runs)

 

[Downtown]

OMG! The Polish Villa is right down the street from Rob's Gramma! Do you have a picture of the Polish Meat Market? ahhhhh...... wurdinski hotdogs!

 

[Tom R]

polski

Parma Rockski!

 

[Dan]

Do you have a picture of the Polish Meat Market?

Sorry, Sophie. It is no more der. See http://www.cheektowagatimes.com/News/2001/0412/Community/13.html . I do have a lovely postcart for you der, though.