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Caption Contest - 23 Feb 2004

Seabishop

Cyburbian
Messages
3,838
Points
25
Unlike other charming southern presidents, I promise to always use glass podiums to assure the american people that my interns are busy working for the american people.
 

mendelman

Unfrozen Caveman Planner
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
13,896
Points
57
Hallejuah, Praise the Lord!

All your sins will be forgiven, if you vote for me!
 

biscuit

Cyburbian
Messages
3,904
Points
25
Having lost another primary race to John Kerry, John Edwards has decided to leave politics and embark on a new career path. Luckily his haircut almost assures that he will have a promising future as a tele-evangelist.
 

SkeLeton

Cyburbian
Messages
4,853
Points
26
Calm down people, those missing Kerry votes are not my responsability! I didn't send someone to steal them so I could win the election! :)
 

DecaturHawk

Cyburbian
Messages
880
Points
22
"Hey, y'all, I'm a Democrat! I can campaign in black churches and no one will say a word about church and state! Can you imagine Bush trying this at St. Pat's? Hee hee!"
 

Seabishop

Cyburbian
Messages
3,838
Points
25
Let the eagle of progress fly forth from my loins!!! Hallejuiah!

...and that wraps up my speech on the two americas. Any questions?
 

Budgie

Cyburbian
Messages
5,270
Points
30
"I know why the caged bird sings. Let me tell you, brothers and sisters, I want to fly like an Eagle. Jesus H. Christ, I see the light. Free at last, free at last, good God Almighty, I'm free at last.

Plagurised from:

Maya Angelou, Steve Miller, Elwood Blues, and MLK.
 

el Guapo

Capitalist
Messages
5,995
Points
31
Budgie said:
"I know why the caged bird sings. Let me tell you, brothers and sisters, I want to fly like an Eagle. Jesus H. Christ, I see the light. Free at last, free at last, good God Almighty, I'm free at last.

Plagurised from:

Maya Angelou, Steve Miller, Elwood Blues, and MLK.
Good One Dude! :-D
 

Mastiff

Gunfighter
Messages
7,181
Points
30
"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

In a whisper: "The spotted owl has found a new habitat in the pants of presidential canidates... Now everyone be quiet or you'll scare it off...."
 

el Guapo

Capitalist
Messages
5,995
Points
31
Reuters - Atlanta, GA
Senator John Edwards, in a stunning bit of showmanship, turned the election down a bizarre path today with an unusual incident and the following statement,
"Unlike a former Democratic President who let his (here the Senator Air Quoted) "Presidential Staff" (here the Senator un-Air Quoted) distract him from the people's business, I will, in order to maintain the public's confidence that I have my mind totally focused on the issues of concern to America, I will constantly wear a dermal absorption patch of saltpeter, thus rendering my desire for hot interns to near zero, I will wear the patch at all times during my term, or terms, as your President, and I will take one more precaution to ensure that I serve the needs of the American worker, and not my own base and vile needs.

I vow, here before you today, I vow to the American voter to remain true to the mission of creating jobs, good jobs. Jobs, you can be proud of. In order that I will remain free from distraction I will insist that I be sealed from the waist down in this unbreakable plastic chamber designed by NASA. The only key to this chamber will be on a gold chain around my wife's neck. These measures will ensure that I remain focused like a laser on getting people back to work that were displaced by the Bush depression."

The audience at the Ebenezer Baptist Church remained silent until Edwards said, "No, I'm serious...really..." Then most of the crowd began to laugh uproariously as Edwards stepped into the Plexiglas chamber and Mrs. Edwards climbed on stage and secured the lock. He was then loaded on a two-wheel Pepsi blue soda dolly and moved backstage. Senator Edwards could not be reached for further comment. The crowd remained somewhat dumbfounded, yet they also seemed to be in an irreverent mood for a church congregation. They sayed in a good mood for another 15 minutes after he left. The Reverend Hollingsworth completed the service after regaining control of the crowd.

Tamika Walsh of Joinersville and a member of the choir commented, “He’s going to get a lot done with that idea of his and I bet we get some good jobs here, but I don’t understand why he had the dove etched into the glass. What was that all about?”

Upon being reached for comment former President Bill Clinton said, "No ****? He actually did that? No? You're pulling my leg, right? You have a film clip? Please let me see it." After watching the clip, the former President just chuckled for several minutes before returning to his private office shaking his head.
 

BiteMeElmo

Cyburbian
Messages
324
Points
11
Choir member 1: "Is it just me, or does he sing like Louis Armstrong?"

Choir member 2: "Dude, he totally just farted"
 
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