Laugh all you want, but this is exactly what the night stockers look like at your 24-hour Super Wal-Marts. That is where the skegs and overly-inked work. Go to Wally World after 1:00 am for some Nyquil one night and you'll see that Mad Cow is epidemic in males 17-32.
After being sued by the Old Dead Workers Local 666 for discrimination, Walmart is forced to rehire all of its former old greeters who died. They later fire the old living greeters because the dead ones work cheaper.