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Caption Contest 7-5-04

boiker

Cyburbian
Messages
3,889
Points
26
A voter takes drastic measures to ensure Sen. Kerry does not flip on the issues.
 

biscuit

Cyburbian
Messages
3,904
Points
25
In a flash of clarity John Kerry realizes that a shooting range might not have been the best place to break the news to Senator Edwards that he wasn’t chosen to be his running mate.
 

Chet

Cyburbian Emeritus
Messages
10,623
Points
34
"That's right... its time to go see the Gimp"
 

Cardinal

Cyburbian
Messages
10,080
Points
34
WASHINGTON – Attorney General John Ashcroft today announced the capture of the suspected leader of a terrorist group operating within the United States. FBI sources idenitified the man as John Abdul Al-Kerry, a high-ranking member of the ultra-leftist, pro United Nations group called the Democratic Party.

Earlier this year, the Department of Homeland Security issued a set of playing cards bearing the likeness of Al-Kerry, who was the ace of spades. Other cards depicted Al-Gore, Al-Franken, Ralph Nader, and other terrorist leaders.

In a brief statement, Ashcroft said “Al-Kerry has been under surveillance for some time. We have strong evidence to prove that he has been conspiring with others, including U.S. citizens, to topple the present government through what intelligence analysist describe as an ‘electoral process.’ We acted to protect the American people from any such threat.”

Al-Kerry was taken by military personnel to an undisclosed location, where he will be interrogated and held indefinitely.The intelligence community was described as eagerly waiting to learn what they could from him. During the raid, U.S. forces were said to have collected several pieces of vital information.

“We came across lists of suspected terrorists.” Said Ashcroft. “These so-called ‘voter registration lists’ contain the names and addresses of Democrat operatives in every state. People will be surprised at how widespread this terrorist cell was when we begin rounding them up.”

This was the largest anti-terrorist raid yet on American soil. “I are committed to fighting Democrats wherever I find it.” asserted President Bush from the White House. Bush later corrected himself. “I am commited to fighting democracy wherever I find it.”
 

nerudite

Cyburbian
Messages
6,544
Points
30
Kerry plays guinea pig as Johnson and Johnson tests out the new Q-tip deep cleaning ear wax removal system.
 

JNA

Cyburbian Plus
Messages
25,645
Points
59
nerudite said:
Kerry plays guinea pig as Johnson and Johnson tests out the new Q-tip deep cleaning ear wax removal system.
The good old "cure is worst then the disease" approach.
nice touch :-D

2nd attempt at a caption -

New and improved mental floss
 

Seabishop

Cyburbian
Messages
3,838
Points
25
Inspired by swing voters' love of John McCain, Kerry stages POW photos to show off his bravery. Kerry then "escaped," capturing the gunmman, making a point not to put panties or a black hood over the terrorist's head as his opponent would do.
 
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