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Breakdancing Lead Guitarist Seeking Band
Influences include Cannibal Corpse, Richard Marx, Scott Joplin, etc.
No losers, wimps, or momma's boys.
A+ hair & willing to wear spandex for the right band.
Call Ian @ (401) 641-3895 after 5 pm
Michael Bolton's tour guitarist hit his limit Saturday night at a concert in Duluth, Minn. Sources say that when Bolton hit the high note in "When A Man Loves A Woman," the guitarist freaked out and screamed, "I can't take this shit no more!!!!!! Please put me out of my misery!!!!!!!" Thousands of undersexed housewives went home unsatisfied as the concert came to a screeching halt.
Nigel: "It's tragic really. There was an investigation. The doctors eventually concluded...you see this is the strange part...he drowned in someone else's vomit. We never found out who's of course. They don't have that sort of medical technology yet. But they did conclude it was not his own. Quite sad actually."
A member of the wedding band, at first overcome by the emotion at the Wal-Mart garden center wedding, is ultimately electrocuted by an electric guitar purchased after a recent smiley-face price rollback.