Complete this sentence:
- Thread starter SGB
- Start date
Zoning Goddess
Cyburbian
- Messages
- 13,843
- Points
- 40
You go into your first meeting with the newly-hired Planning Manager and the first thing he says is "You know, nobody around here likes you." The second thing he says is "So, would you consider being zoning team leader?". (Oh no, I'm working for a male Sybil!)
GeogPlanner
Cyburbian
- Messages
- 1,431
- Points
- 25
that explains why i got the lead on the zoning project at my last firm before i left (got laid off)...
You know you are in trouble when... the other planner's grant funds are up and you make a joke about how you now have to work his job too and five minutes later the boss say's "how do you feel about brownfields?"
You know you are in trouble when... the other planner's grant funds are up and you make a joke about how you now have to work his job too and five minutes later the boss say's "how do you feel about brownfields?"
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- Messages
- 19,348
- Points
- 71
... most of the turnout for the Planning Commission meeting is wearing flannel.
... most of the turnout for the Planning Commission meeting is from the local sign industry.
... the turnout for the Planning Commission meeting includes a pretty television reporter and a camera crew.
... your office is relocated to a room that used to be a utility closet.
... you hear "LOCK AND LOAD!" being yelled from the distance while you're in the field.
... your name appears in a letter to the editor, and the letter also includes the words "socialist" and "old Soviet Union."
... you're in the field, and you're within sight of a flying Nazi flag.
... the Planning Director, wearing a somber face, calls you into an empty conference room, and says "shut the door behind you."
... most of the turnout for the Planning Commission meeting is from the local sign industry.
... the turnout for the Planning Commission meeting includes a pretty television reporter and a camera crew.
... your office is relocated to a room that used to be a utility closet.
... you hear "LOCK AND LOAD!" being yelled from the distance while you're in the field.
... your name appears in a letter to the editor, and the letter also includes the words "socialist" and "old Soviet Union."
... you're in the field, and you're within sight of a flying Nazi flag.
... the Planning Director, wearing a somber face, calls you into an empty conference room, and says "shut the door behind you."
el Guapo
Capitalist
- Messages
- 5,986
- Points
- 31
...your roommated says "those aren't pillows!"
...your assistant asks "is this briefcase that angry developer left suposed to be ticking."
...there are six tall 45 year old white men in dark suits at your office's front door with a big bundle of those nylon handcuffs.
...you see this thing streaking in from the sky and it just keeps getting bigger and bigger.
...your assistant asks "is this briefcase that angry developer left suposed to be ticking."
...there are six tall 45 year old white men in dark suits at your office's front door with a big bundle of those nylon handcuffs.
...you see this thing streaking in from the sky and it just keeps getting bigger and bigger.
Rumpy Tunanator
Cyburbian
- Messages
- 4,463
- Points
- 25
el Guapo said:
WTF, then what are they?
your roommated.... Oh I'll stop here.-You know your in trouble when they ask to see your i.d. when your parked halfway on the street and sidewalk (diagonally people). Although they get what your doing after you explain it to them a few dozen times.
The Mayor offers you a raise based upon “something you can do for him later tonight”
The Planning Board meeting in your New Hampshire town is interupted by either 100 new Libertarian transplants or 8 Democratic primary contenders
Mike Wallace is chasing you through the parking lot for some reason
An angry landowner wants to know if its considered a “taking” if he cuts off one of your fingers
You realize the “tannery” you approved isn’t the same thing as a tanning salon
The Planning Board meeting in your New Hampshire town is interupted by either 100 new Libertarian transplants or 8 Democratic primary contenders
Mike Wallace is chasing you through the parking lot for some reason
An angry landowner wants to know if its considered a “taking” if he cuts off one of your fingers
You realize the “tannery” you approved isn’t the same thing as a tanning salon
ofos
Vintage Cyburbian
- Messages
- 8,278
- Points
- 28
you've just hit "send" with a scathing comment to a co-worker about a highly favored consultant's proposal and realize that the default was "Reply All" and that the consultant and upper management are receiving your unguarded comments at that very moment.
Notes: Yes, I did. No, I didn't lose my job. Was highly embarrassed at the time, BUT my comment later proved to be a correct assessment when he was publicly berated by a senior VP over that same proposal.
Notes: Yes, I did. No, I didn't lose my job. Was highly embarrassed at the time, BUT my comment later proved to be a correct assessment when he was publicly berated by a senior VP over that same proposal.
- Messages
- 12,639
- Points
- 44
You know you are in trouble when....
The first question of the day is "Are you committed to your job?" which is followed by a rant. :-c
She felt bad later and told me to take $20 and the secretary out to the beach for half an hour and eat a gelatto. It was the best part of the day...well until she left
The first question of the day is "Are you committed to your job?" which is followed by a rant. :-c
She felt bad later and told me to take $20 and the secretary out to the beach for half an hour and eat a gelatto. It was the best part of the day...well until she left
Captain Worley
Cyburbian
- Messages
- 271
- Points
- 10
^ I just assumed it was a competition.:-D
michaelskis
Cyburbian
- Messages
- 20,906
- Points
- 57
... two guys with earpieces and dark suits are waiting for you in the lobby. (yes it has happened, no I did not get in trouble, my neighbor on the other hand...)
... your told about a fee increase and assessment right before the condo association election...(I was voted back in regardless)
... your fiancée starts a sentence with, I am working on wedding stuff and I need your opinion.
... a conversation starts, I need to file a complaint about my neighbor.
... you start a new job and realize that you slept with your bosses college age daughter a few weeks earlier. (She stopped in to bring him lunch)
... your told about a fee increase and assessment right before the condo association election...(I was voted back in regardless)
... your fiancée starts a sentence with, I am working on wedding stuff and I need your opinion.
... a conversation starts, I need to file a complaint about my neighbor.
... you start a new job and realize that you slept with your bosses college age daughter a few weeks earlier. (She stopped in to bring him lunch)
dandy_warhol
Cyburbian
- Messages
- 10,212
- Points
- 52
You know you're in trouble when....
your male boss says to you and another female coworker he's cranky because its been so long since he's had s.e.x. :-{:-o:-|
your male boss says to you and another female coworker he's cranky because its been so long since he's had s.e.x. :-{:-o:-|
You know you are in trouble when you seem to hear the theme from Deliverance being played by banjos all around you.
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RandomPlanner
Cyburbian
- Messages
- 1,833
- Points
- 28
A variance application starts with "According to NYS law ..."
Incidentally, it was hand written all down the margin of the page.
Incidentally, it was hand written all down the margin of the page.
ruralplanner
Cyburbian
- Messages
- 138
- Points
- 6
- The majority of your new planning committee has names like Marvin, Tommy, Dwight, Duane, Delbert and Wayne.
- In front of your new boss on your first planning job you tell a local city administrator that his city is rotting because he allowed a 40-acre TIF for Wal-Mart. :-c True story. And I made it past probation.
- After the close of a a town board meeting the town board breaks open a case of beer and cheese and crackers and still continues to talk about town business...and your sitting there with them eating and drinking. :-| Another true story.
- In front of your new boss on your first planning job you tell a local city administrator that his city is rotting because he allowed a 40-acre TIF for Wal-Mart. :-c True story. And I made it past probation.
- After the close of a a town board meeting the town board breaks open a case of beer and cheese and crackers and still continues to talk about town business...and your sitting there with them eating and drinking. :-| Another true story.
Bear Up North
Cyburbian Emeritus
- Messages
- 9,323
- Points
- 31
You know you are in trouble when.....
The "60 Minutes" team is in your lobby. :-c
_____
You pull in your driveway at 3:00 AM, with the new girlfriend, and your ex-wife's car is there and the bedroom light is on. :-{
_____
Two (2) beautiful women, sans clothing, begging you to go skinny-dipping with them, jump on you while you sleep....and you push them away because you had too much to drink. :-c:-c:-o:-$:a::-x
Bear
The "60 Minutes" team is in your lobby. :-c
_____
You pull in your driveway at 3:00 AM, with the new girlfriend, and your ex-wife's car is there and the bedroom light is on. :-{
_____
Two (2) beautiful women, sans clothing, begging you to go skinny-dipping with them, jump on you while you sleep....and you push them away because you had too much to drink. :-c:-c:-o
:-$:a::-xBear
michaelskis
Cyburbian
- Messages
- 20,906
- Points
- 57
When you mis-spelled public as pubic in your report to the Planning Commission.
some citizen is berating you at Planning Commission about the tree in front of the yellow house and you never went on a site visit.
you wake up hugging the toilet bowl in a strange looking house.
some citizen is berating you at Planning Commission about the tree in front of the yellow house and you never went on a site visit.
you wake up hugging the toilet bowl in a strange looking house.
Bear Up North
Cyburbian Emeritus
- Messages
- 9,323
- Points
- 31
You know you are in troulbe when......you wake up in a downtown Calgary hotel, laying next to you is an older Indian with very few teeth, and she has your ring on her finger.
:-c
Bear
:-c
Bear
- Messages
- 30,173
- Points
- 74
You know you are in trouble when.....
- you're working front counter and a resident walks in carrying a zip-loc bag filled with dog feces
- a smug-sounding caller prefaces their conversation with the phrase "I'd like to ask you a very simple and elementary question..."
- a sign contractor begins their conversation with the phrase "I was on-line reading your Zoning Code's definition of "sign" and I wondered....."
- you're working front counter and a resident walks in carrying a zip-loc bag filled with dog feces
- a smug-sounding caller prefaces their conversation with the phrase "I'd like to ask you a very simple and elementary question..."
- a sign contractor begins their conversation with the phrase "I was on-line reading your Zoning Code's definition of "sign" and I wondered....."
imaplanner
Cyburbian
- Messages
- 6,672
- Points
- 28
you can't remember the night before, and you aren't wearing any pants.
- Messages
- 12,639
- Points
- 44
illinoisplanner
Cyburbian
- Messages
- 5,334
- Points
- 25
...some strange large man stumbles into your home at 2am while your party is winding down and nobody in the room has any clue who he is.
...after heavily drinking, you're starting to pass out at a table in a large crowded bar and you feel like you're going to
...you find out from your friends that 6 police cars from multiple agencies were called to the house because of your actions the previous night and you have no idea what they're talking about
...your angry Indian boss calls all the staff in for a meeting and you work at a place where meetings don't usually happen
...you're ending a phone call with your girlfriend and she hesitates before saying "I love you too"
...you're protesting then-Governor Blago at a parade and in the midst of your interviews with the local TV news stations, police officers begin to approach you
...some resident approaches you while you're out taking pictures and starts name-dropping every department head, asking which one you fall under
...at a public hearing, a resident walks over to your boss, tells your boss a secret, and they begin to both snicker while looking at you
...you're in a P&Z commissioner's driveway dropping off a packet, it's almost the end of the day, and the city vehicle you're driving won't start
...you're asked by a female code inspector to come with her to a site visit because there's an an asshole property owner and she's concerned for her safety
...the pickup truck that drove by with its riders yelling harassing things to you, your brother, and your cousin while you were playing basketball returns 10 minutes later because your brother flipped them off as they drove by earlier
...after heavily drinking, you're starting to pass out at a table in a large crowded bar and you feel like you're going to
...you find out from your friends that 6 police cars from multiple agencies were called to the house because of your actions the previous night and you have no idea what they're talking about
...your angry Indian boss calls all the staff in for a meeting and you work at a place where meetings don't usually happen
...you're ending a phone call with your girlfriend and she hesitates before saying "I love you too"
...you're protesting then-Governor Blago at a parade and in the midst of your interviews with the local TV news stations, police officers begin to approach you
...some resident approaches you while you're out taking pictures and starts name-dropping every department head, asking which one you fall under
...at a public hearing, a resident walks over to your boss, tells your boss a secret, and they begin to both snicker while looking at you
...you're in a P&Z commissioner's driveway dropping off a packet, it's almost the end of the day, and the city vehicle you're driving won't start
...you're asked by a female code inspector to come with her to a site visit because there's an an asshole property owner and she's concerned for her safety
...the pickup truck that drove by with its riders yelling harassing things to you, your brother, and your cousin while you were playing basketball returns 10 minutes later because your brother flipped them off as they drove by earlier
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