• Ongoing coronavirus / COVID-19 discussion: how is the pandemic affecting your community, workplace, and wellness? 🦠

    Working from home? So are we. Come join us! Cyburbia is a friendly big tent, where we share our experiences and thoughts about urban planning practice, planning adjacent topics, and whatever else comes to mind. No ads, no spam, no social distancing.

Completely inappropriate songs for striptease acts

Dan

Dear Leader
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
18,521
Points
69
Ever notice that in a strip club, some songs are in heavy rotation? There seems to be about 100 standard tunes that accompany female adult entertainers while they disrobe.

I imagine most popular, or even obscure pop/rock/hip-hop songs will work pretty well for contemporary ecdysiasts. The lyrics don't have to scream "SEX!" -- all they have to do is provide a backdrop for an attractive person to do her thing.

Still, though, there are songs that I imagine would make horrible backdrops for striptease performances. Imagine going into a strip joint, and seeing Crystal swing around the pole for:

Bread - It Doesn't Matter to Me. Really, anything by Bread.

Rush - Tom Sawyer

Styx - Mister Roboto

Suzanne Vega - Luka

Blue Oyster Cult - Godzilla

Pat Benatar - Sex as a Weapon

Ted Nugent - Fred Bear

Johnny Cash - A Boy Named Sue. Hell, anything by Johnny Cash.

Oingo Boingo - Dead Man's Party

Led Zeppelin - Immigrant Song

John Denver - Rocky Mountain High. Unless it's a strip joint on Colorado Avenue in Glendale.


Janis Ian - Seventeen

Lita Ford - Only Women Bleed

Gordon Lightfoot - Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald

Black Sabbath - Iron Man

... and finally ...

Lynyrd Skynyrd - That Smell

Any other candidates?
 

The Irish One

Member
Messages
2,267
Points
25
I take issue with BOC's Godzilla. It's not the song I would want to hear but still a lady could find a way to strip.
 

mendelman

Unfrozen Caveman Planner
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
13,689
Points
53
Date Rape - Sublime

Any Bare Naked Ladies (no pun intended)
 
Last edited:

GeogPlanner

Cyburbian
Messages
1,433
Points
25
mendelman said:
Date Rape - Sublime

Any Bare Naked Ladies (no pun intented)
]

Barenaked Ladies

...and I agree...nothing sexy about the band. love thier music though...
 

Cardinal

Cyburbian
Messages
10,080
Points
34
Not that I have spent much time in strip clubs... but I don't think you would be likely to hear a good polka there.
 

Seabishop

Cyburbian
Messages
3,838
Points
25
Amazing Grace

This Land is Your Land

Are you going to Scarborough Fair (unless the girls are named Parsley, Sage, Rosemary & Thyme)

Some 20 minute Yes or Genesis song about the universe

1812 Overture (actually that'd be kinda cool) :-$


Off topic: I just noticed this George W icon and have to use it. :y :y :y
 

H

Cyburbian
Messages
2,850
Points
24
Dan said:
Styx - Mister Roboto
I actually think that would be a good one!!

But I will add Roy Orbison Only the Lonely, because that would just be depressing. :-(
 

Cardinal

Cyburbian
Messages
10,080
Points
34
H said:
I actually think that would be a good one!!

But I will add Roy Orbison Only the Lonely, because that would just be depressing. :-(
Depressing? How about "Taxi" or "Cat's in the Cradle" by Harry Chapin?
 

Wannaplan?

Bounty Hunter
Messages
3,198
Points
28
Cheerful for Some T & A

I Hate Myself And Want To Die by Nirvana on the Beavis & Butt-Head Experience CD.
 

Budgie

Cyburbian
Messages
5,270
Points
30
Wynona's Big Brown Beaver - Primus
Hot as a Docker's Armpit - Budgie
Squeeze Me Macaroni - Mr. Bungle
The Tide is High - Blondie (if you get my drift)
Pre-menstrial Princess Blues - SOD
The Plague - Nuclear Assault

Should I go on.

The lyrics to Sqeeze Me Macaroni:

I wanna lock Betty Crocker in the kitchen
And knock her upper during supper
Clutter up her butter gutter
Hostess Ding Dong wrapped an eggroll around my wong
While Dolly Madison proceded to ping my pong
Your Milky Way is M'n'M in your britches
And I'll tell you Baby Ruth it looks mighty delicious
Keep blowing my gum, cuz here I come
I'm gonna get you all sticky with my Bubble Yum

Knick knack paddywhack and give your dog a bone, baby

I was givin' some head to some french bread
It was a four course orgy on the spread of my bed
French kissin' french fries in my Fruit of the Looms
I get deeper penetration with a fork and a spoon

I got yogurt meat loaf smeared all over my ass
I stick my weiner in two buns and and then give it the gas
Sour cream from my spleen into Levi jeans
Gonna bust the seams with my refried beans

Ronald McDonald just loves to be fondled
With Big Mac he'll **** it like a Chicken McNugget
Colonel Sanders wants to goose Granny's loose caboose
He's gonna give her a boost with that Kentucky fried juice
Sooper doop poop scoop, loop de loop, chicken coop
Shoot some hoop, top sirloin from the groin
Topped with dick cheese, sneeze, wheeze,
From the skeez disease, wooi!

Take a dump, baby, squirt some gravy
Pour some sugar on me, honey, make it brown & runny
Give a little Flavor Flav, back from the grave
Gonna burn some toast, pump some humpin' rump roast

Knick knack paddywhack, jump in the sack, in fact
Jerk the smack and crack Jack from the back
Bananarama or ramabanana
****in' Barry Manilow on the Copa Cabana

Squeeze me macaroni, slop your face with my bologna

You gotta syphon the spinach, you gotta cream the corn
Sperm scrambles the eggs and a meal is born
Cookin' like a beginner, but I'm goin' up in her
I had Fritos for lunch I'm havin' bush for dinner
Chef Boyardee and the Three Muskateers
Shove Charleston Chews in their rears like queers
"Holy moly, guacamole!" said my Chips Ahoy
I'm gonna pinch a ravioli on the Pillsbury dough...Tall man

Knick knack paddywhack and give your dog a boner, baby

We came to pottie...we came to pottie down your throat
 

biscuit

Cyburbian
Messages
3,904
Points
25
I think I've got it.

Bloodhound Gang - A Lapdance is so Much Better When the Stripper is Crying


I won't bother to post the lyrics. o:)
 

donk

Cyburbian
Messages
6,970
Points
30
There are a few songs by the Forgotten Rebels that would qualify, but the titles are not work safe.
 

BiteMeElmo

Cyburbian
Messages
324
Points
11
donk said:
There are a few songs by the Forgotten Rebels that would qualify, but the titles are not work safe.
Whoah, I can't even believe someone else out there knows who the Forgotten Rebels are.

How about "I'm In Love With Your Underwear" or "Surfin' on Heroin"
 

jordanb

Cyburbian
Messages
3,232
Points
25
Dan said:
Ever notice that in a strip club, some songs are in heavy rotation? There seems to be about 100 standard tunes that accompany female adult entertainers while they disrobe.
No, I can't say that I have. :-\
 

donk

Cyburbian
Messages
6,970
Points
30
BiteMeElmo said:
Whoah, I can't even believe someone else out there knows who the Forgotten Rebels are.

How about "I'm In Love With Your Underwear" or "Surfin' on Heroin"
Yup, a wasted youth from the 80's.

There are a few Dead Milkmen songs also that are not work safe to mention that would be bad songs to strip by.
 

pete-rock

Cyburbian
Messages
1,550
Points
24
How about "Let's Wait Awhile" by Janet Jackson?

That song actually came on during my first, um, "encounter" in the '80s.

BTW, nice new look, Dan and everyone. I've been away for far too long.
 

Seabishop

Cyburbian
Messages
3,838
Points
25
pete-rock said:
How about "Let's Wait Awhile" by Janet Jackson?

That song actually came on during my first, um, "encounter" in the '80s.

BTW, nice new look, Dan and everyone. I've been away for far too long.
And wasn't it Jermaine Jackson who had "We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off to Have a Good Time?"

Boy, those Jacksons seem like good people. o:)
 

Cardinal

Cyburbian
Messages
10,080
Points
34
[ot]
pete-rock said:
How about "Let's Wait Awhile" by Janet Jackson?

That song actually came on during my first, um, "encounter" in the '80s.

BTW, nice new look, Dan and everyone. I've been away for far too long.
Yes, you've been gone far too long, Pete-Rock. How's married life been treating you?

[/ot]
 
Messages
5,352
Points
31
Seabishop said:
And wasn't it Jermaine Jackson who had "We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off to Have a Good Time?"

Boy, those Jacksons seem like good people. o:)
Actually, it was Jermaine Stewart . He passed away from AIDS a few years ago.
 

Maister

Chairman of the bored
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
28,244
Points
71
I've never been to a strip club in my entire life, but I would guess that the songs: 'You Don't Bring me Flowers Anymore', '16 tons', 'Going to the Chapel', or anything by Captain Beefheart & his Magic Band would all make poor selections.
 

ofos

Vintage Cyburbian
Messages
8,278
Points
27
Tracey Byrd - Baby Put Your Clothes On
Rodney Carrington - Put Your Clothes Back On
Barbra Streisand - Put On Your Sunday Clothes
Breathe Carolina - Put Some Clothes On
 

imaplanner

Cyburbian
Messages
6,673
Points
27
I've never been to a strip club in my entire life, but I would guess that the songs: 'You Don't Bring me Flowers Anymore', '16 tons', 'Going to the Chapel', or anything by Captain Beefheart & his Magic Band would all make poor selections.
What I want to know is how, if you've never been to one of these establishments before, did you find yourself in a 4 and a half year old thread devoted to strip clubs?;-)
 

luckless pedestrian

Super Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
12,199
Points
50
What I want to know is how, if you've never been to one of these establishments before, did you find yourself in a 4 and a half year old thread devoted to strip clubs?;-)
I was thinking the same thing as I was scrolling to see who the heck brought this one back?

Maister planning a bachelor party for someone or what?
 

Maister

Chairman of the bored
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
28,244
Points
71
What I want to know is how, if you've never been to one of these establishments before, did you find yourself in a 4 and a half year old thread devoted to strip clubs?;-)
I lied once before in my lifetime. I believe it was a Tuesday and some time in October of 1977....
 

safege

Cyburbian
Messages
716
Points
20
I actually did see an homage to Donovan once.

"For you may as well try and catch the wind"

"First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is"

Etc.
 

Zoning Goddess

Cyburbian
Messages
13,852
Points
39
I guess most Christmas carols wouldn't be appropriate in that setting.

Or am I totally wrong? Do the strippers do weird things with Frosty and Rudolph? :-c
 

mgk920

Cyburbian
Messages
4,202
Points
26
Tracey Byrd - Baby Put Your Clothes On
Rodney Carrington - Put Your Clothes Back On
Barbra Streisand - Put On Your Sunday Clothes
Breathe Carolina - Put Some Clothes On
:8:Jermaine Stewart - We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off:8:

Mike
 

illinoisplanner

Cyburbian
Messages
5,335
Points
25
For a variety of reasons, these songs don't fit. Either for being too long, too sad, too slow, or dealing with a topic that is inappropriate for the venue.

"Free Bird" - Lynyrd Skynyrd
"One" - Metallica
"November Rain" - Guns N' Roses
"The World I Know" - Collective Soul
"Down in a Hole" - Alice in Chains
"Dancin' for the Groceries" - Kenny Chesney
"American Soldier" - Toby Keith
"A Tout Le Monde" - Megadeth
"The River" - Bruce Springsteen
"Tears in Heaven" - Eric Clapton
"Murder Was the Case" - Snoop Dogg
"Why Go" - Pearl Jam
"Not Enough" - Van Hagar
 

tsc

Cyburbian
Messages
1,905
Points
23
"Muskrat Love" Captain and Tenille

but this thread could apply to male strippers too....

"Material Girl" Madonna
 

Veloise

Cyburbian
Messages
5,757
Points
32
One of our local burlesque dancers performed to "Like a Virgin." She wore (well, initially) a wedding dress-type of outfit.
 
Top