Completely inappropriate songs for striptease acts

[Dan]

Ever notice that in a strip club, some songs are in heavy rotation? There seems to be about 100 standard tunes that accompany female adult entertainers while they disrobe.

I imagine most popular, or even obscure pop/rock/hip-hop songs will work pretty well for contemporary ecdysiasts. The lyrics don't have to scream "SEX!" -- all they have to do is provide a backdrop for an attractive person to do her thing.

Still, though, there are songs that I imagine would make horrible backdrops for striptease performances. Imagine going into a strip joint, and seeing Crystal swing around the pole for:

Bread - It Doesn't Matter to Me. Really, anything by Bread.

Rush - Tom Sawyer

Styx - Mister Roboto

Suzanne Vega - Luka

Blue Oyster Cult - Godzilla

Pat Benatar - Sex as a Weapon

Ted Nugent - Fred Bear

Johnny Cash - A Boy Named Sue. Hell, anything by Johnny Cash.

Oingo Boingo - Dead Man's Party

Led Zeppelin - Immigrant Song

John Denver - Rocky Mountain High. Unless it's a strip joint on Colorado Avenue in Glendale.

Janis Ian - Seventeen

Lita Ford - Only Women Bleed

Gordon Lightfoot - Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald

Black Sabbath - Iron Man

... and finally ...

Lynyrd Skynyrd - That Smell

Any other candidates?

 

[SlaveToTheGrind]

(I Wanna Be) Your Underwear - Bryan Adams

 

[The Irish One]

I take issue with BOC's Godzilla. It's not the song I would want to hear but still a lady could find a way to strip.

 

[mendelman]

Date Rape - Sublime

Any Bare Naked Ladies (no pun intended)

 

[Richmond Jake]

Beatles - I wanna be your man.

 

[GeogPlanner]

Date Rape - Sublime

Any Bare Naked Ladies (no pun intented)

]

Barenaked Ladies

...and I agree...nothing sexy about the band. love thier music though...

 

[Cardinal]

Not that I have spent much time in strip clubs... but I don't think you would be likely to hear a good polka there.

 

[Seabishop]

Amazing Grace

This Land is Your Land

Are you going to Scarborough Fair (unless the girls are named Parsley, Sage, Rosemary & Thyme)

Some 20 minute Yes or Genesis song about the universe

1812 Overture (actually that'd be kinda cool) :-$


Off topic: I just noticed this George W icon and have to use it. :y :y :y

 

[H]

Styx - Mister Roboto

I actually think that would be a good one!!

But I will add Roy Orbison Only the Lonely, because that would just be depressing. :-(

 

[Tom R]

song

"Fixing a hole" - Beatles, Sgt. Peppers

 

[Cardinal]

I actually think that would be a good one!!

But I will add Roy Orbison Only the Lonely, because that would just be depressing. :-(

Depressing? How about "Taxi" or "Cat's in the Cradle" by Harry Chapin?

 

[Queen B]

Where the heck did this come from?
Been out recently , Dan?

 

[Wannaplan?]

Cheerful for Some T & A

I Hate Myself And Want To Die by Nirvana on the Beavis & Butt-Head Experience CD.

 

[Rumpy Tunanator]

I Hate Myself And Want To Die by Nirvana on the Beavis & Butt-Head Experience CD.

What about "Rape Me" by Nirvana

 

[Big Easy King]

U2 - Sunday Bloody Sunday

R.E.M. - It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)

 

[SkeLeton]

Tori Amos - Playboy Mommy wouldn't fit the mood, but it'll fit the scene...

 

[Wannaplan?]

What about "Rape Me" by Nirvana

Yes, that one is perfect!

 

[Budgie]

Wynona's Big Brown Beaver - Primus
Hot as a Docker's Armpit - Budgie
Squeeze Me Macaroni - Mr. Bungle
The Tide is High - Blondie (if you get my drift)
Pre-menstrial Princess Blues - SOD
The Plague - Nuclear Assault

Should I go on.

The lyrics to Sqeeze Me Macaroni:

I wanna lock Betty Crocker in the kitchen
And knock her upper during supper
Clutter up her butter gutter
Hostess Ding Dong wrapped an eggroll around my wong
While Dolly Madison proceded to ping my pong
Your Milky Way is M'n'M in your britches
And I'll tell you Baby Ruth it looks mighty delicious
Keep blowing my gum, cuz here I come
I'm gonna get you all sticky with my Bubble Yum

Knick knack paddywhack and give your dog a bone, baby

I was givin' some head to some french bread
It was a four course orgy on the spread of my bed
French kissin' french fries in my Fruit of the Looms
I get deeper penetration with a fork and a spoon

I got yogurt meat loaf smeared all over my ass
I stick my weiner in two buns and and then give it the gas
Sour cream from my spleen into Levi jeans
Gonna bust the seams with my refried beans

Ronald McDonald just loves to be fondled
With Big Mac he'll **** it like a Chicken McNugget
Colonel Sanders wants to goose Granny's loose caboose
He's gonna give her a boost with that Kentucky fried juice
Sooper doop poop scoop, loop de loop, chicken coop
Shoot some hoop, top sirloin from the groin
Topped with dick cheese, sneeze, wheeze,
From the skeez disease, wooi!

Take a dump, baby, squirt some gravy
Pour some sugar on me, honey, make it brown & runny
Give a little Flavor Flav, back from the grave
Gonna burn some toast, pump some humpin' rump roast

Knick knack paddywhack, jump in the sack, in fact
Jerk the smack and crack Jack from the back
Bananarama or ramabanana
****in' Barry Manilow on the Copa Cabana

Squeeze me macaroni, slop your face with my bologna

You gotta syphon the spinach, you gotta cream the corn
Sperm scrambles the eggs and a meal is born
Cookin' like a beginner, but I'm goin' up in her
I had Fritos for lunch I'm havin' bush for dinner
Chef Boyardee and the Three Muskateers
Shove Charleston Chews in their rears like queers
"Holy moly, guacamole!" said my Chips Ahoy
I'm gonna pinch a ravioli on the Pillsbury dough...Tall man

Knick knack paddywhack and give your dog a boner, baby

We came to pottie...we came to pottie down your throat

 

[biscuit]

I think I've got it.

Bloodhound Gang - A Lapdance is so Much Better When the Stripper is Crying


I won't bother to post the lyrics. o

 

[donk]

There are a few songs by the Forgotten Rebels that would qualify, but the titles are not work safe.

 

[BiteMeElmo]

There are a few songs by the Forgotten Rebels that would qualify, but the titles are not work safe.

Whoah, I can't even believe someone else out there knows who the Forgotten Rebels are.

How about "I'm In Love With Your Underwear" or "Surfin' on Heroin"

 

[Mastiff]

Queen - Fat Bottomed Girls

 

[Planderella]

Any song by Amy Grant.

 

[SGB]

Any song by Amy Grant.

8-!

Especially her religious music before she went pop/secular!

 

[nerudite]

Barbie Girl by Aqua. But that applies to all things, not just strippers.

 

[nerudite]

Queen - Fat Bottomed Girls

I actually think that this would be funny (and even kinda cool) if a girl had junk in her trunk

 

[jordanb]

Ever notice that in a strip club, some songs are in heavy rotation? There seems to be about 100 standard tunes that accompany female adult entertainers while they disrobe.

No, I can't say that I have. :-\

 

[Planderella]

I actually think that this would be funny (and even kinda cool) if a girl had junk in her trunk

You gotta go to the 'hood to see those types of girls.

 

[SlaveToTheGrind]

You gotta go to the 'hood to see those types of girls.

Don't you call those "apple bottom" girls?

 

[otterpop]

What are these strip clubs you speak about? :-}

 

[Rumpy Tunanator]

What are these strip clubs you speak about? :-}

Its a morality tale of sorts

 

[donk]

Whoah, I can't even believe someone else out there knows who the Forgotten Rebels are.

How about "I'm In Love With Your Underwear" or "Surfin' on Heroin"

Yup, a wasted youth from the 80's.

There are a few Dead Milkmen songs also that are not work safe to mention that would be bad songs to strip by.

 

[pete-rock]

How about "Let's Wait Awhile" by Janet Jackson?

That song actually came on during my first, um, "encounter" in the '80s.

BTW, nice new look, Dan and everyone. I've been away for far too long.

 

[Seabishop]

How about "Let's Wait Awhile" by Janet Jackson?

That song actually came on during my first, um, "encounter" in the '80s.

BTW, nice new look, Dan and everyone. I've been away for far too long.

And wasn't it Jermaine Jackson who had "We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off to Have a Good Time?"

Boy, those Jacksons seem like good people. o

 

[Cardinal]

[ot]

How about "Let's Wait Awhile" by Janet Jackson?

That song actually came on during my first, um, "encounter" in the '80s.

BTW, nice new look, Dan and everyone. I've been away for far too long.

Yes, you've been gone far too long, Pete-Rock. How's married life been treating you?

[/ot]

 

[Bangorian]

Me and a Gun by Tori Amos is the worst I can come up with.

 

[Planderella]

And wasn't it Jermaine Jackson who had "We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off to Have a Good Time?"

Boy, those Jacksons seem like good people. o

Actually, it was Jermaine Stewart . He passed away from AIDS a few years ago.

 

[Maister]

I've never been to a strip club in my entire life, but I would guess that the songs: 'You Don't Bring me Flowers Anymore', '16 tons', 'Going to the Chapel', or anything by Captain Beefheart & his Magic Band would all make poor selections.

 

[hilldweller]

Queen - Fat Bottomed Girls

I've actually heard this one in a gentlemen's establishment:-$

 

[ofos]

Tracey Byrd - Baby Put Your Clothes On
Rodney Carrington - Put Your Clothes Back On
Barbra Streisand - Put On Your Sunday Clothes
Breathe Carolina - Put Some Clothes On

 

[imaplanner]

I've never been to a strip club in my entire life, but I would guess that the songs: 'You Don't Bring me Flowers Anymore', '16 tons', 'Going to the Chapel', or anything by Captain Beefheart & his Magic Band would all make poor selections.

What I want to know is how, if you've never been to one of these establishments before, did you find yourself in a 4 and a half year old thread devoted to strip clubs?;-)

 

[luckless pedestrian]

What I want to know is how, if you've never been to one of these establishments before, did you find yourself in a 4 and a half year old thread devoted to strip clubs?;-)

I was thinking the same thing as I was scrolling to see who the heck brought this one back?

Maister planning a bachelor party for someone or what?

 

[Maister]

What I want to know is how, if you've never been to one of these establishments before, did you find yourself in a 4 and a half year old thread devoted to strip clubs?;-)

I lied once before in my lifetime. I believe it was a Tuesday and some time in October of 1977....

 

[TexanOkie]

"It Was a Very Good Year", Sinatra.

 

[safege]

I actually did see an homage to Donovan once.

"For you may as well try and catch the wind"

"First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is"

Etc.

 

[Zoning Goddess]

I guess most Christmas carols wouldn't be appropriate in that setting.

Or am I totally wrong? Do the strippers do weird things with Frosty and Rudolph? :-c

 

[mgk920]

Tracey Byrd - Baby Put Your Clothes On
Rodney Carrington - Put Your Clothes Back On
Barbra Streisand - Put On Your Sunday Clothes
Breathe Carolina - Put Some Clothes On

:8:Jermaine Stewart - We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off:8:

Mike

 

[illinoisplanner]

For a variety of reasons, these songs don't fit. Either for being too long, too sad, too slow, or dealing with a topic that is inappropriate for the venue.

"Free Bird" - Lynyrd Skynyrd
"One" - Metallica
"November Rain" - Guns N' Roses
"The World I Know" - Collective Soul
"Down in a Hole" - Alice in Chains
"Dancin' for the Groceries" - Kenny Chesney
"American Soldier" - Toby Keith
"A Tout Le Monde" - Megadeth
"The River" - Bruce Springsteen
"Tears in Heaven" - Eric Clapton
"Murder Was the Case" - Snoop Dogg
"Why Go" - Pearl Jam
"Not Enough" - Van Hagar

 

[tsc]

"Muskrat Love" Captain and Tenille

but this thread could apply to male strippers too....

"Material Girl" Madonna

 

[Veloise]

One of our local burlesque dancers performed to "Like a Virgin." She wore (well, initially) a wedding dress-type of outfit.