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Confession time, Part II

Coragus

Cyburbian
Messages
1,295
Points
24
I don't know what a rutabaga is...

A vegatable, very much like a turnip, and an ingredient found in many pasties from northern Michigan. On its own, it tastes a bit like my socks after a particularly long day.
 

Midori

Cyburbian
Messages
751
Points
12
A vegatable, very much like a turnip, and an ingredient found in many pasties from northern Michigan. On its own, it tastes a bit like my socks after a particularly long day.

I had to read this a few times to convince myself that the exotic dancers in northern Michigan do not attach rutabaga to their bodies in an attempt to comply with nudity laws.
 

DVD

Cyburbian
Messages
15,517
Points
53
I watch Hallmark X-Mas Movies. Some are absolutely dreadful, but there are one or two good ones.

That's okay, my wife does too. They are horrible movies, but she loves them. I usually walk away (it's either that or make rude comments)

I had to read this a few times to convince myself that the exotic dancers in northern Michigan do not attach rutabaga to their bodies in an attempt to comply with nudity laws.

I frequently enjoy the exotic pasties of Michigan! If you give the dancer a dollar they'll let you...oh wait, that best left for another thread, but they really should find a better flavor than rutabaga.
 

btrage

Cyburbian
Messages
6,427
Points
27
I often get jealous of my divorced friends who have kids, because they have built-in weekends with no kids and get to do more adult things than I do.

I realize this does not outweigh the negatives of divorce, but I do get jealous about it.
 

kms

Cyburbian
Messages
6,868
Points
45
I often get jealous of my divorced friends who have kids, because they have built-in weekends with no kids and get to do more adult things than I do.

I realize this does not outweigh the negatives of divorce, but I do get jealous about it.

Sometimes we look forward to those weekends without kids, but most of the time it felt shitty to me.
 

DVD

Cyburbian
Messages
15,517
Points
53
I'm more jealous of the people who have large families nearby where they can dump the kids with Grandma anytime, but then I hear all the family drama and it passes. I guess I could also confess that I can't live in the same city as my family. We get along great seeing each other for a week or two, but living to close we drive each other crazy.
 

michaelskis

Cyburbian
Messages
20,877
Points
57
I'm more jealous of the people who have large families nearby where they can dump the kids with Grandma anytime, but then I hear all the family drama and it passes. I guess I could also confess that I can't live in the same city as my family. We get along great seeing each other for a week or two, but living to close we drive each other crazy.

WHAT? You mean to tell me that it is normal for grandparents to watch their grandchildren... Hang on, let me give you my MIL's phone number.



My confession... I have an addiction to power and air tools. I will spend more time pulling out a compressor and an air nailer than I would if it was just a hammer and nail. One of the stocking stuffers for my oldest as a build your own bird house kit. We will be using the brad nailer instead of the little nails that they included in the kit. I think 5 is a great time to let kids use power and air tools.
 

DVD

Cyburbian
Messages
15,517
Points
53
WHAT? You mean to tell me that it is normal for grandparents to watch their grandchildren... Hang on, let me give you my MIL's phone number.



My confession... I have an addiction to power and air tools. I will spend more time pulling out a compressor and an air nailer than I would if it was just a hammer and nail. One of the stocking stuffers for my oldest as a build your own bird house kit. We will be using the brad nailer instead of the little nails that they included in the kit. I think 5 is a great time to let kids use power and air tools.

I did think of you while I typed that in. I'm lucky, I only have a BIL and aunt on my wife's side and their not bad, and just my mom, brother, SIL, and an aunt & uncle with their kids. We all get along great living in different cities. If I lived near my mom I would end up rebuilding her house every couple years to redesign some room. My SIL is the only one I can't stand. She can raise kids better than anyone. Did I mention she has no kids. Then again she's offended that I never call, but the phone does work both ways so no problem for me. I feel for you, maybe you should go on a family cruise with her. A lot of people fall overboard by accident.
 

kjel

Super Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
12,634
Points
44
I did jack shit at work today and don't feel the least bit guilty about it.
 

DVD

Cyburbian
Messages
15,517
Points
53
Today, I watched Star Wars: A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back at my desk.

Don't feel bad, I have Monty Python and History of the World. I'll watch a little and work a little, I love having dual monitors.:)
 

Seabishop

Cyburbian
Messages
3,832
Points
25
I can't believe I'm telling anyone this deepest of secrets but . . . I just bought a raised ranch in the suburbs. I realize I can now never be a "Planner's Planner" but I love the house and the neighborhood. I expect my AICP and APA revocation letters to arrive shortly.
 

kms

Cyburbian
Messages
6,868
Points
45
Sometimes I hate being single.

This would be one of those nights for me. I was invited to a party but didn't want to go by myself. I go just about any place by myself, except for holiday parties.
 
Messages
3,043
Points
26
Re: Currently, the last post in the Design, Space, and Place Forum:

CONFESSIONS:
1. I find it so cute and funny that I don't want to "bother" it. (You know, by not replying, nor posting in that forum.:-$)
2. Wondering if anybody else feels this way.
3. I wrote Confessions (1) & (2) earlier this week, but did not post them, because... well... I was hoping that somebody else would have "bothered" it by now. (Hint, hint...:D)
 

Coragus

Cyburbian
Messages
1,295
Points
24
I saw a lawyer earlier this week. Mrs. Me and I are going to either separate or have a contract agreement. She said she wants another man in her bed and I told her go ahead. I'm also looking for a new job and hoping to move away.
 

btrage

Cyburbian
Messages
6,427
Points
27
I saw a lawyer earlier this week. Mrs. Me and I are going to either separate or have a contract agreement. She said she wants another man in her bed and I told her go ahead. I'm also looking for a new job and hoping to move away.

Wow. Like she actually said those words or insinuated? Anyways, stay strong brother. We're hear for you. I know your move a few years ago put a lot of stress on your relationship.
 

michaelskis

Cyburbian
Messages
20,877
Points
57
I saw a lawyer earlier this week. Mrs. Me and I are going to either separate or have a contract agreement. She said she wants another man in her bed and I told her go ahead. I'm also looking for a new job and hoping to move away.

WOW. :-c I am sorry to hear that man.
 

Hink

OH....IO
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
16,441
Points
59
I saw a lawyer earlier this week. Mrs. Me and I are going to either separate or have a contract agreement. She said she wants another man in her bed and I told her go ahead. I'm also looking for a new job and hoping to move away.

Hopefully it is a good thing for you. Get away and get happy. Sorry about the situation though...
 

mendelman

Unfrozen Caveman Planner
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
15,531
Points
60
I saw a lawyer earlier this week. Mrs. Me and I are going to either separate or have a contract agreement. She said she wants another man in her bed and I told her go ahead. I'm also looking for a new job and hoping to move away.
Good luck on the next stage(s). I know there are several Cyburbians that can give you advice since they went through a similar life event.

Looking to return to your home state?
 
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SW MI Planner

Cyburbian
Messages
3,196
Points
27
I saw a lawyer earlier this week. Mrs. Me and I are going to either separate or have a contract agreement. She said she wants another man in her bed and I told her go ahead. I'm also looking for a new job and hoping to move away.

Ouch, sorry to hear that. I've been on the receiving end and know that it is not any fun. Good luck with everything.
 

DVD

Cyburbian
Messages
15,517
Points
53
I saw a lawyer earlier this week. Mrs. Me and I are going to either separate or have a contract agreement. She said she wants another man in her bed and I told her go ahead. I'm also looking for a new job and hoping to move away.

Sorry to hear that. I'd try to offer so sage advice after going through it myself, but I can't. Just enjoy the fact that your free to trade her in on a new and improved model with lots of upgrades.
 

Whose Yur Planner

Cyburbian
Messages
12,006
Points
46
I saw a lawyer earlier this week. Mrs. Me and I are going to either separate or have a contract agreement. She said she wants another man in her bed and I told her go ahead. I'm also looking for a new job and hoping to move away.

Add me to the chorus of that sucks. It's time to cut and run dude.
 

JNA

Cyburbian Plus
Messages
26,673
Points
70
I saw a lawyer earlier this week. Mrs. Me and I are going to either separate or have a contract agreement. She said she wants another man in her bed and I told her go ahead. I'm also looking for a new job and hoping to move away.

Just as Whose Yur Planner said -
add me to the chorus of that sucks.
 

kms

Cyburbian
Messages
6,868
Points
45
I saw a lawyer earlier this week. Mrs. Me and I are going to either separate or have a contract agreement. She said she wants another man in her bed and I told her go ahead. I'm also looking for a new job and hoping to move away.

I'm sorry. Did she really say that? I've been through the same thing. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. My advice would be to take your time to come to terms with it.
 

giff57

Corn Burning Fool
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
5,456
Points
34
I saw a lawyer earlier this week. Mrs. Me and I are going to either separate or have a contract agreement. She said she wants another man in her bed and I told her go ahead. I'm also looking for a new job and hoping to move away.

Sorry dude, another member of the Cyburbia wolfpack.
 

Coragus

Cyburbian
Messages
1,295
Points
24
Thanks for your support everybody. Also, to confess, I'm aggresively looking for a new job so that I can leave Kentucky.
 

Rygor

Cyburbian
Messages
2,758
Points
19
Thanks for your support everybody. Also, to confess, I'm aggresively looking for a new job so that I can leave Kentucky.

First off. That sucks. Went through it a few years ago and wouldn't wish it on anyone...but, it was also the best thing to ever happen to me looking back at it now. Once the darkness passes, enjoy your newfound freedom for a while, and then trade in for a better model. You should have a better idea of what to look for this time. ;)

Oh, and for a new job I do recommend warm and sunny Arizona.
 

mendelman

Unfrozen Caveman Planner
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
15,531
Points
60
Thanks for your support everybody. Also, to confess, I'm aggresively looking for a new job so that I can leave Kentucky.
When I see good jobs postings I'll send them your way, just in case you haven't seen them.

Again, good luck.
 

terraplnr

Cyburbian
Messages
2,441
Points
30
So I guess this is the place for this news … my husband and I are getting divorced and he is moving to Pittsburgh at the end of June, two weeks after the baby is due. He feels like he has a job offer that is just too good to pass up. And he’s been “seeing” someone else for the past month. Someone he just “clicked” with who makes him “happy”.

We had separated before and I was moving on but a year ago he had convinced himself that he had changed, truly wanted to be 110% committed to me, really appreciated all I had to offer, etc. I had plenty of evidence to the contrary from past actions but for various reasons I thought maybe if we each gave it all we had, we could be happy together. Well, he believes he tried his hardest over the past year, and I know I did, but after the initial honeymoon phase of getting back together, he started becoming more anxious, unhappy, etc. no matter what I did or we did. We saw a Christian therapist, had a lot of date nights, read marriage books, did things as a family, talked and talked and talked when he was feeling anxious/stressed/unhappy about something, but it just kept getting worse and worse. I know that there is nothing else I could have done, short of transforming into some completely new and different person, but it still really bruised my ego to hear that someone else is making him “happy” without them even trying. And don’t even get me started on why he felt the need to tell me about this other person.

And on top of all of that my heart breaks for my son, who knows that his dad will be moving really far away this summer. My husband thinks that once he is established with this company he can move to an office that is closer to his kids, but I'm not pinning my hopes on it and am not going to make promises to my son that I have no control over. I am definitely 110% committed to making sure that I do whatever I can to make sure that my son, myself, and the baby come out of this as well as we can (or hopefully better, in my case).

So, if any of you have any advice on how to help my son, how to stop thinking of “the other person”, etc. I would be happy to hear any words of wisdom. I don't regret the baby and I've really gotten deeper into my faith because of all this, and my retirement account is looking better than it had been (although I won't be saving much in the near future), so it's not all bad. I know that I can handle it and will be alright in the end, it just really and truly sucks.
 

mendelman

Unfrozen Caveman Planner
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
15,531
Points
60
That's terrible, terra. I hope that you and the kids make it through this well.

As the father of three young sons (4, 5 & 6), I can't imagine permanently separating from them like this. I have been apart from my wife and boys for the past several months and I miss them desperately when I'm sitting in lonely apartment in the evenings. Luckily, we're only 3 hours apart, so....

Again...God speed to you and your son on this.
 
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btrage

Cyburbian
Messages
6,427
Points
27
So I guess this is the place for this news … my husband and I are getting divorced and he is moving to Pittsburgh at the end of June, two weeks after the baby is due. He feels like he has a job offer that is just too good to pass up. And he’s been “seeing” someone else for the past month. Someone he just “clicked” with who makes him “happy”.

We had separated before and I was moving on but a year ago he had convinced himself that he had changed, truly wanted to be 110% committed to me, really appreciated all I had to offer, etc. I had plenty of evidence to the contrary from past actions but for various reasons I thought maybe if we each gave it all we had, we could be happy together. Well, he believes he tried his hardest over the past year, and I know I did, but after the initial honeymoon phase of getting back together, he started becoming more anxious, unhappy, etc. no matter what I did or we did. We saw a Christian therapist, had a lot of date nights, read marriage books, did things as a family, talked and talked and talked when he was feeling anxious/stressed/unhappy about something, but it just kept getting worse and worse. I know that there is nothing else I could have done, short of transforming into some completely new and different person, but it still really bruised my ego to hear that someone else is making him “happy” without them even trying. And don’t even get me started on why he felt the need to tell me about this other person.

And on top of all of that my heart breaks for my son, who knows that his dad will be moving really far away this summer. My husband thinks that once he is established with this company he can move to an office that is closer to his kids, but I'm not pinning my hopes on it and am not going to make promises to my son that I have no control over. I am definitely 110% committed to making sure that I do whatever I can to make sure that my son, myself, and the baby come out of this as well as we can (or hopefully better, in my case).

So, if any of you have any advice on how to help my son, how to stop thinking of “the other person”, etc. I would be happy to hear any words of wisdom. I don't regret the baby and I've really gotten deeper into my faith because of all this, and my retirement account is looking better than it had been (although I won't be saving much in the near future), so it's not all bad. I know that I can handle it and will be alright in the end, it just really and truly sucks.

I'm sorry to hear this.

I don't have any advice since I don't have any first hand experience with such a complicated situation. Just be honest with your son.
 

Maister

Chairman of the bored
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
30,148
Points
74
terraplnr I'm very sorry to hear this news. I wish you the best in getting things sorted out.
 

arcplans

As Featured in "High Times"
Messages
6,750
Points
35
I am sorry to read this terra. I commend you are giving him a 2nd chance. Sometimes we guys can screw up a good thing, I know this all too well, but it sounds like it was a much deeper and no amount of therapy can help someone whom cannot find the strength to help themselves.

I wish you the best.. And I am certain when the time is right, another person will come along and make you happy for whom you are :)
 

Richmond Jake

You can't fight in here. This is the War Room!
Messages
18,300
Points
44
Heartbreaking story, terraplnr. I got beat down but each situation is different. I have nothing to add except to say be strong. Thoughts are with you. All of us are here to provide you some form of support system.
 
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Zoning Goddess

Cyburbian
Messages
13,843
Points
40
So sorry. terraplnr. I can't believe the schmuck is walking out just when you and your child need him the most. That said, a few suggestions:

See a lawyer immediately about child support. You won't have time after the baby comes.

Line up as much help with the baby as you can. Your son will need extra attention from you with the new addition to the family.

I'm not sure how old your son is and what activities he participates in, or could when he gets older. Whether it's playing sports or Scouts (or a church-based alternative), be frank about being a single mom and your son having little or limited time with his dad. Plenty of people will step up to help. With my son, a good friend's family included him on day fishing trips. His den leader and family had us over for dinner so my son could work on his Pinewood Derby car with the leader and his son. The dad next door taught my son to ride a bike. My brother invited us to join his family on inexpensive trips to scallop in the Gulf, and taught my son to shoot and hunt. My mom taught him to play poker. That's just the short list.

I don't know how you stop thinking about the other person. My situation was very different, but a therapist just told me to keep telling myself "He's insane, he's insane" and that worked quite well for me. I quit trying to analyze what happened. Because you'll never figure out the real "why".
 

JNA

Cyburbian Plus
Messages
26,673
Points
70
:( to hear that terraplnr..

I like the suggestions/advice given by ZG & RJ.
 
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