JNA said:
from somebody who has never been married -
Q. why is eloping better then a traditional wedding other than time planning and money $,$$$ ?
Oh, sorry, I missed that question:
From my perspective, it is better because a marriage is a private and deep commitment between two people whose first concern should be each other. Worrying about what 1200 other people think/feel/want in YOUR private, personal relationship is potentially problematic. If the deep, personal commitment does not exist between the two people taking the vows, all the hoopla in the world is utterly meaningless.
For some folks, public marriages are wonderful -- a way to share the event with family and friends. But more than half of all marriages in America today end in divorce and most of the ones that do so end within a few years. In my opinion, people who date and have big weddings seem to be susceptible to the fantasy that a relationship is about sex and fun and partying -- and when kids and financial problems and other not-fun, responsibilities come along, they may bail rather than deal. A marriage is a serious commitment, wherein you commit yourself completely -- in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, etc. It is not a party. Or, if it is, you still have to clean up the mess after all the guests leave.
Marriage enriches the soul. It shelters the possibility of real love -- the kind which nourishes and heals and has nothing to do with chocolates, flowers, or valentine's day. It strengthens society by strengthening people. But it isn't a party. People who take it seriously to begin with and do not expect it to be a party and understand that the commitment is a very private one, such people seem to take the hard times more in stride and do not take the good times for granted.
So, again: Crograts to Belle and the Mr. for wisely making the commitment and not worrying so much about the hoopla. The commitment is the most important part.
