• Back at the office or school? Still working from home? Need to vent, or just connect with other planner and built environment types? Come join us!

    Cyburbia is a friendly big tent, where we share our experiences and thoughts about urban planning practice, planning adjacent topics, and whatever else comes to mind. No ads, no spam, no social distancing or masks required.

Cyburbia limerick contest

Repo Man

Cyburbian
Messages
2,545
Points
25
Some residents hate when I utter
Two simple words: curb and gutter
They'll whine and they'll bitch
"We'd rather have ditch
So our culverts can be crammed up with clutter"
 

adaptor

Member
Messages
123
Points
6
Libertarian city of Oz
Where zoning isn’t governed by laws
Sundays are quite exciting
And the signs are inviting
With the churches next to topless bars
 

El Feo

Cyburbian
Messages
674
Points
19
rustbelt said:
Libertarian city of Oz
Where zoning isn’t governed by laws
Sundays are quite exciting
And the signs are inviting
With the churches next to topless bars

That's what I call "one stop shopping."
 

donk

Cyburbian
Messages
6,961
Points
31
For Dan and PlannerGirl. I'd love to find someone who only lived 1/2 hour away. I tried this phrase in haiku, but could not get it to work.


Many of us planners are single
As such, we go out and mingle
Seeking a spouse
It turns out that our house
Makes us geographically undesirable.
 

Tom R

Cyburbian
Messages
2,274
Points
25
limerick

The testing for AICP
to increase my membership fee
are questions of parking
lots and dogs barking
but have no relevance to me.
 

El Feo

Cyburbian
Messages
674
Points
19
Boiker, Rustbelt, and Tranplanner,
make me laugh in a curious manner.
I waste all my time
waiting for their next rhyme -
they've made me a limerick scanner.

(Same for the rest of you, but I could only fit so many names in one line...)
 
Last edited:

boiker

Cyburbian
Messages
3,887
Points
26
in historic preservation
you must not have reservation
get commission approval
before the buildings removal
or you will get a citation
 

Chet

Cyburbian Emeritus
Messages
10,589
Points
34
This is Biographical

There was a developer named Wayne
That fought his Park Fees in vain
He put up a fuss
But we said "It's a must!"
And he still had to stop to complain
 

boiker

Cyburbian
Messages
3,887
Points
26
parking

500 spaces of required parking?!
Was all that Menard's was barking
but we require much less
too high is your request
reduce it or we'll be embarking.
 

Tranplanner

maudit anglais
Messages
7,937
Points
39
And the next victim is...

There once was a gal in D.C.
Apparently loves PVC
She's Florida bound
But not taking her hounds
Is Dan her next target? We'll see!
 

adaptor

Member
Messages
123
Points
6
In Tranplanners town they recycle
Folks travel on skates or bicycle
The measures are metric
The culture’s eclectic
They’re different from yanks just a trifle
 

Tranplanner

maudit anglais
Messages
7,937
Points
39
Who should I do next...?

There once was a lad called El Guapo
Thought mainly of guns and ammo
Said to be stylish
He's also part Irish
Does that explain his Volvo?
 

Tranplanner

maudit anglais
Messages
7,937
Points
39
I'm on a roll!!!!

There was a young lass named Nerudite
For plans and good zoning she'd fight
But in the bedroom,
She'd suddenly swoon,
And whisper "my dear, hold tight!"
 

Cardinal

Cyburbian
Messages
10,069
Points
34
Cyburbia’s the place for those who would plan
A site where they gather to post when they can
At first they just looked
But then they were hooked
Add one more fan of the planner-man Dan
 

nerudite

Cyburbian
Messages
6,536
Points
30
Re: I'm on a roll!!!!

Tranplanner said:
There was a young lass named Nerudite
For plans and good zoning she'd fight
But in the bedroom,
She'd suddenly swoon,
And whisper "my dear, hold tight!"

Yipes... has someone been spying on me? ;)
 

adaptor

Member
Messages
123
Points
6
Tranplanner is pulling out his hair
As you Cyberbinites are aware
His chaste situation
Leads to aggravation
To all targets of limericks -- beware
 

El Feo

Cyburbian
Messages
674
Points
19
Canada v. US

I sit still while Tranplanner infers
that Labatt's is much better than Coors,
but on this one score
I'm willing to war
our donuts are better than yours!
 

Tranplanner

maudit anglais
Messages
7,937
Points
39
Don't get me started...

El Feo made one big mistake
He picked on my major intake
Canada's best,
Forget all the rest,
On this, my life I will stake!
 

Tranplanner

maudit anglais
Messages
7,937
Points
39
Same goes for you, Rustbelt!

Rustbelt's just a little behind,
For Tranplanner enjoys peace of mind
His fiancee caved,
Thus sanity saved,
For tranplanner does know how to whine!
 

El Feo

Cyburbian
Messages
674
Points
19
Donuts, cont'd.

Krispy Kreme's at the top of the order
all the cruellers up North fall far shorter
so take back your slight
or sometime tonight
we'll roll our tanks up to your border!
 

Chet

Cyburbian Emeritus
Messages
10,589
Points
34
The 51st State - Canada

A war of USA vs Canada
You let terrorists cross the border, eh?
We'd blow you to sh*t
But you're mostly not worth it
So we'll make you the next Grenada!
 

PlannerGirl

Cyburbian Plus
Messages
6,370
Points
29
Congrats Trans :)

*notes the big smile from this far south*

whas THAT what the boom in heard was? *wink*
 

Planderella

Cyburbian
Messages
5,344
Points
31
I've been too busy with real work (not that Cyburbia isn't ;);)) to come up with any clever limmeriks so I'll repost the one I posted in the Haiku forum:

Ode to Dan

There once was a man named Dan
Whose only talent was to plan
He was from Buffalo
But moved to Orlando
To work on the perfect tan.
 

Tranplanner

maudit anglais
Messages
7,937
Points
39
Krispey Kreme ain't no real donut
In fact they're not fit for a mutt
To settle this score,
I'll remind you once more
On ice we did kick yankee butt
 

El Feo

Cyburbian
Messages
674
Points
19
Tranplanner said:
Krispey Kreme ain't no real donut
In fact they're not fit for a mutt
To settle this score,
I'll remind you once more
On ice we did kick yankee butt

It just happens to be your good luck
I know nothing of hockey - I'll duck
I can tell you feel plucky
maybe you'll get lucky
and TranPlannette will give you a puck.

(You do know we're kidding, right?)
 

nerudite

Cyburbian
Messages
6,536
Points
30
I've been spying too...

There is this bloke from Toronto
That takes his baths in vats of jell-o.
The gelatin wiggles
And Tranplanner giggles.
Now we know why he's a happy fellow.
 

Tranplanner

maudit anglais
Messages
7,937
Points
39
Note: Just a limerick, not personal opinion!

Again more rhetoric flies
And I'm sick of american lies
Canada's poor,
We don't want a war,
Besides, your pilots only hit allies
 

El Feo

Cyburbian
Messages
674
Points
19
Note: Again just a limerick, and not to diminish a real tragedy

It's not that we think that it's fun
to drop bombs on democracy's son
but we can't prevent mourning
by giving a warning
when your radios are from World War I
 

adaptor

Member
Messages
123
Points
6
Of all brands of donuts I’ve eaten
Tim Horton’s are yet to be beaten
But I just have to say
They’re from the USA
Wendy’s owns the that shop you’re seat’s in.
 

Tom R

Cyburbian
Messages
2,274
Points
25
limerick

This is my favorite limerick. It's not original so I don't submit it although it is tangentally planning related (meteorlogical).

There was a young man from Damask
whose balls were made out of brass.
In stormy weather
they'd clack together
and lightning shot out his ass.
 

Cyburbian-ess

Member
Messages
12
Points
1
There once was the man with "da plan,"
Who said "build it wheverever you can,"
We can zone it with ease
But to all the NIMBYs:
"You will soon find your ass in a jam."
 

Dan

Dear Leader
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
19,338
Points
71
Bump and close ... more on Tuesday night!
 

tsc

Cyburbian
Messages
1,900
Points
23
I can't seem to get the hang of writing limericks...can we bring back the haiku contest, please?

There once was a street in T.O.
Where the cars did move very slow
The motorists complained,
They wanted more lanes!
But still that traffic won't flow

I never could do the haiku..but I think this could be a very creative never ending thread...

but not limited to planning:


A drink made from a rum colored dark,
The fire began to crackle and spark.
A board with a nail,
POP! Did impale!
"Doh! Now that's gonna leave a mark!"
 
Messages
3,043
Points
26
LIMERICK DAY - Always MAY 12th

*bump*

The limericks here are just too good to start a new thread!

This Monday, May 12th is Limerick Day.
It *honors* the 5-12-1812 birthday of Edward Lear, an English writer of sorts.
(There's some evidence that his real birthday is May 13th, which is Leprechaun Day.:))

Anybody want to lead a LIMERICK CONTEST this year?
 

luckless pedestrian

Super Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
13,317
Points
55
There once was a planner named LP
she's packed but not to Tripoli
it's Spain for her
please don't rob her
and she'll return to us all rested and happy
 

dandy_warhol

Cyburbian
Messages
10,199
Points
52
Happy Limerick Day!

A bag of M&M chocolates I did eat.
To satisfy my cravings for sweet.
A quick sugar high
But the scale will cry.
Making up limericks is no easy feat.
 

Maister

Chairman of the bored
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
30,148
Points
74
It's lame, you know, bumping old threads
Those likely left better off dead
You should start them anew
I know that's what I'd do
But you probably don't care what I said
 

dandy_warhol

Cyburbian
Messages
10,199
Points
52
It's lame, you know, bumping old threads
Those likely left better off dead
You should start them anew
I know that's what I'd do
But you probably don't care what I said

Well ain't that a barrel of schit?
The proper way, I thought I did it.
No more bumping for me.
Or sugar candy.
Is there any chance for a split?
 

Maister

Chairman of the bored
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
30,148
Points
74
Well ain't that a barrel of schit?
The proper way, I thought I did it.
No more bumping for me.
Or sugar candy.
Is there any chance for a split?

Just say the magic word, Toots
And I'll threadsplit these posts from their roots
As for trash talkin' in Candy
you know how that goes, dandy
You're ahead me now, but dragging your foots.
 
Top