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Health 🏥 Dementia

Maister

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Many of us are of an age where we may begin to see our parents or grandparents slip into dementia. It's very sad and there's not much our current medicine can do to treat the condition. Alzheimer's disease is a major cause of dementia, but is not the only cause of the condition. It's generally not painful to the person suffering from it, but places substantial burdens to their family and caregivers and is both sad and frustrating.

This intended to be a discussion and support thread.
 
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Veloise

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Due to personal experience with heavy drinkers, I looked up alcohol-induced dementia. Turns out there's a correlation, and the phrase "killing brain cells" is accurate. Wasn't surprised to find out that a former BF (who'd demolish a fifth of whiskey in a couple days "to treat cold sores") was living in a care facility. I also noticed my brother slipping further from reality as the years progressed, making poor decisions and acting just ... odd. (SIL and I had a conversation about how much he would have hated to get old, somewhat relieved that he lasted only to age 61.)
 

Hawkeye66

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Well, I am watching my mother waste away from it now, and its not something I would wish on anyone to have happen to them, or to have happen to their parents.

My mother has a PhD in English Education and taught at colleges and a prep school for many years. My mother gave me all the tools. She read to me. My first memories in the early 70's were her reading Babar the Elephant to me. I could read college level by the time I was 12.

She retired about a decade ago and she and my step dad moved to be closer to me and my kids and some of her siblings live nearby. About 6 years ago we started to notice odd behavior and now she is mostly gone, but she still goes on. She recognizes me but I am not sure she would know my name. Its heart breaking to say the least. When you are dealing with it while trying to get your children to adulthood, you are squeezed in a big shit sandwich.
 

Whose Yur Planner

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Well, I am watching my mother waste away from it now, and its not something I would wish on anyone to have happen to them, or to have happen to their parents.

My mother has a PhD in English Education and taught at colleges and a prep school for many years. My mother gave me all the tools. She read to me. My first memories in the early 70's were her reading Babar the Elephant to me. I could read college level by the time I was 12.

She retired about a decade ago and she and my step dad moved to be closer to me and my kids and some of her siblings live nearby. About 6 years ago we started to notice odd behavior and now she is mostly gone, but she still goes on. She recognizes me but I am not sure she would know my name. Its heart breaking to say the least. When you are dealing with it while trying to get your children to adulthood, you are squeezed in a big shit sandwich.
Sorry to hear that Hawkeye. Hang in there.
 

Maister

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Its heart breaking to say the least. When you are dealing with it while trying to get your children to adulthood, you are squeezed in a big shit sandwich.
That's why they call folks our age 'the sandwich generation'.

A couple weekends ago we bought my MIL a power floor cleaner for her kitchen. The cleaner has four removable parts. I showed her a half dozen times how to assemble/disassemble it for use. It became clear to me after about the third demonstration (I had her do it herself after each time to ensure she was getting it) her short term memory at this point is such that she's unable to remember how to do it 30 seconds later.
 

Hawkeye66

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That's why they call folks our age 'the sandwich generation'.

A couple weekends ago we bought my MIL a power floor cleaner for her kitchen. The cleaner has four removable parts. I showed her a half dozen times how to assemble/disassemble it for use. It became clear to me after about the third demonstration (I had her do it herself after each time to ensure she was getting it) her short term memory at this point is such that she's unable to remember how to do it 30 seconds later.

Patience is probably the #1 thing you have to have to deal with it.

My parents were divorced in 1975. My mom remarried in 1981. I have no legal authority to do much and my step dad is guarded about the full diagnosis. He seems to feel the need to shoulder the burden all on his own. They are still in a house, and really need to be in someplace where my mom can get more help. My brothers and my moms siblings have said things to him about relieving the burden on himself, etc. but he does not do anything. I just accept that I have limited control, but at some point will have to deal with it.

I can promise one thing; I will not be leaving a bunch of stuff for my kids to have to deal with.
 
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