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Does Age Matter

Queen B

Cyburbian
Messages
3,179
Points
25
Off the "What makes you feel old" thread...

Does age matter? In relationships?

I have been married to a man 10 years older, 8 years younger and now to one that is only 1 year younger.
While I was married to the man 10 years old, I would have said no, it didn't matter. But in the end it did. I always felt this pull to do things I wasn't quite ready for... Parenting a teen, being a grandparent, being a mother-in-law. I proudly put a smile on but there was always that feeling of not being ready.

Got rid of the old guy and went to 8 years younger, he didn't want anything to do with being a part of my grandchildren, being a father-in-law and such. There were other parts of the relationship that I thought would have been better because of his younger years, that were not...

It is so much more comfortable now that I can actually talk about stuff that happened when I was kid and my husband can have a conversation about it with me. Although we still have the child rearing issues, like I started when I was young, mine is raised. He started late so his are not teens yet.
 

Coragus

Cyburbian
Messages
1,296
Points
24
Age matters somewhat, but it's not too tough if you both allow for your seperate lives to continue. My new wife is 7 years older than I am, and the fact is that she can't physically keep up with me. She sleeps later in the morning (when she can get away with it), she gets tired earlier, and she's not physically active at all. That being said, she doesn't mind when I spend time alone doing what I like, as long as I stay within reason and I maintain a healthy balance between alone time and together time.

I wish that she could be more active and do stuff with me, like jogging or going to the gym, but all in all, I'm pretty happy.
 

Jessie-J

Cyburbian
Messages
386
Points
12
not as much as size...hahaha, just kidding...

but seriously, it seems like age matters less as you get older. I am 25 and my boyfriend is 23. I really do think that guys mature at a slower rate than women and it is pretty severe even just at 2 years difference. I guess I can't say that all men at that age are immature, but I think it's enough to make some connection there. The guys I know that age are less responsible and less goal oriented than the women I know my age and I'm thinking it's a maturity thing....

i'm curious about your thoughts on that too...
 

Seabishop

Cyburbian
Messages
3,838
Points
25
My wife's 4 years older and the only time it matters is when she can remember disco songs that I can't. It seems stupid though when people like Anna Nicole Smith say they have a great relationship with some 80 year old rich guy.



and she's not physically active at all.
For a second I thought you wrote "attractive" and I thought this poor guy is done for ;)
 

Tranplanner

maudit anglais
Messages
7,903
Points
35
When I was younger, I liked older women...

Now that I'm older, I like younger women...

I'm 30, my wife just turned 22. She makes me feel old sometimes when she doesn't remember TV shows, music, etc., that I grew up with - but I just laugh at that.

I am worried though that eventually I won't be able to...uh "keep up" with her. No problems so far ;)
 

Zoning Goddess

Cyburbian
Messages
13,853
Points
39
I was married to a guy 9 years older than me, and he turned into an old fart pretty fast. I can sympathize with Coragus, my ex- became a total couch potato at 40. Anyway, I ended up being a "grandma" at 31 and that's kinda hard to take, although I am still close to my ex-stepdaughter and her kids. In relationships now, I would be less concerned with age and more concerned with being somewhat equal in where we are in our careers, having kids of similar ages, etc.
 

giff57

Corn Burning Fool
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
5,406
Points
32
It matters to be sure, but it can work out. My wife is 17 years younger and it takes work on both of our parts. There are little things that need attention. You both have to understand the place the other is in their life and accept it. Age matters, but not a great deal....
 

Floridays

Cyburbian
Messages
769
Points
21
I don't think age difference is as much a factor as compatability, love and trust. I was married to a guy who was 13 years older...THAT wasn't as much an issue as the fact that he was a slime who messed around, lied and cheated. He's been trying to get back together for years now but that just ain't gonna happen! Right now I'm with someone who's a year older than I am and very happy....
 

Habanero

Cyburbian
Messages
3,241
Points
27
Mike D= R. Kelly? Discuss... ;)

I think age matters to an extent, James will be 30 this year and since I'm about 5 years younger he may feel a little older at that point. But really, it doesn't bother me since we have to much in common.
 

Chet

Cyburbian Emeritus
Messages
10,624
Points
34
Mike D. said:
Age only matters if she's under 18 and you get caught ....
Or on the other end, like Prudence always says, "Run for the door before the t*ts hit the floor".
 

SkeLeton

Cyburbian
Messages
4,853
Points
26
Age diferences are exponential.. I doubt you would like to have a 8 year old girlfriend when you're 18... but having a 10 year difference in the mid age or old age isn't that much.
 

Queen B

Cyburbian
Messages
3,179
Points
25
I know, I have made all these arguements.

Now go to the other end. What happens at 55 and 65. Or what about younger wife who has not had children and has let her clock tick away, marries older man, let's say 10-15 years older and they decide to embark on parenthood. Dad ends up with retirement and the kid/s are not even teens yet.

Did I hear Paul McCartney's new wife is pregnant?
 
Messages
3,690
Points
27
I don't necessarily think the number itself matters, but where you are in your life. You could have two 27 years olds, but if one is all about focusing on their career for 10 more years and the other is all about starting a family ASAP, it isn't going to work.

However, I think when you're talking about more than 10 year age differences, this can pose some issues when you get older, especially in terms of health. But then, now that people are living more healthily and longer, maybe this really won't be such an issue as it was for my grandparents.

Edit: Paul McCartney's wife is due in January, I believe.
 

pete-rock

Cyburbian
Messages
1,551
Points
24
Age does make a little difference. There's six years difference between me and my fiancee (I'm 38, she's 32), and there's definitely things I can remember that she can't. Also, there are life experiences and ways to deal with them that I've had and she doesn't.

But on the whole, everything has worked out for us. Our nuptials are three months from this Friday.
 

jordanb

Cyburbian
Messages
3,232
Points
25
It matters to the judge

Just remember this rule: half your age plus seven.

Can't go wrong with that.
 

Jessie-J

Cyburbian
Messages
386
Points
12
Re: It matters to the judge

jordanb said:
Just remember this rule: half your age plus seven.

Can't go wrong with that.
I just did. I'm 25 and I'd rather not date a man who is 19 or 20!
 

Cardinal

Cyburbian
Messages
10,080
Points
34
Jordanb, I like your formula. Now I need to find me a 25 year old.

By the time you hit your thirties, I think the spread in years starts to mean a bit less. Obviously, a teen is not a good choice, but would I find that I have a lot in common with someone in their late twenties? It's quite possible.
 
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