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El Guapo in repose

el Guapo

Capitalist
Messages
5,941
Points
28
El Guapo? Hum…why El Guapo is quite the complex continental gentleman. Born the sole heir to the fabulous Boursault cream cheese empire, ruthlessly built up by his eccentric lesbian Aunt Monique Neufatale, he quickly rose to prominence in the ultra-exclusive, fashion crazed, clique that is know in the Kingdom of Monaco simply as LeFromage Hombres.

Quickly mastering all aspects of the daunting European dairy market, El Guapo grew restless as so many super geniuses with a penchant for Dairy have before him. Instead of throwing his energies into new and creamer fat-free spreads for the expanding American export market, El Guapo decided to attend the Harvard of the Plains, known as Kansas State University at 15. Before arriving, the eminent architect, I.M. Pei was honored to supervise the construction of the now famous Dome la Guapo just outside of Manhattan. Hailed as a product of inspired genius “the Dome,” as it is called by the lucky locals, is a mastery of light and shadow.

Princess Diana is once rumored to have shared the banana shaped, faux baby seal skin covered bed for a fortnight after her split with the Prince of Wales. While El Guapo tries to downplay them there are rumors of a tête-à-tête with Florida’s Secretary of State Katherine Harris the night before her stunning announcement giving the presidency to George W. Bush. One wonders how much pull El Guapo should be allowed to exercise on both American politics and women.

After graduating with honors from KSU he became known in the planning industry as the hardest working bureaucrat west of the Mississippi. El Guapo has won every major international planning award at least twice. Often other nominees will withdraw upon hearing they are nominated in the same category. Instructing his private secretary to keep all mention of possible Nobel Prize nominations out of the press, he suffers the accolades humbly. His poetic master piece “The Trailers of Mankind” a Buddhist perspective on low income housing is currently number 47 on Amazon.com’s top 100.

While his work is important to him, family is where El Guapo finds his center. El Guapo and Aquafina, his long time life companion and sometime plus-sized supermodel, are expecting their first child, which they will name “Holistica” as a life affirming confirmation of their commitment to a peaceful and non-violent coexistence with their fellow beings and nature.

El Guapo often summers in Leavenworth, Kansas and Milan. Look for his new book coming out in the early fall “Model Zen Inspired Subdivision Regulations.”



Dan, is this what you had in mind?
 
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el Guapo

Capitalist
Messages
5,941
Points
28
And the golden blow dryer goes to...

I'm so sorry. The work above is entirely fiction, except the part about going to KSU, summering in Leavenworth and bedding Princess Di. Ok, well that last part might also be false, but I vaguely remember a British woman I might have entertained during a bender once back in college. So it still remains a possibility. I was a bit bored when I wrote the above - ripping off Steve Martin and Mike Meyers.

Dan posted that introduce yourself thing and it just sat there. El Guapo, like gases and nature, abhors a vacuum, so I wrote. Take nothing I ever write at face value, please.;)

Feel free to post your own faux bios!
 

Jen

Cyburbian
Messages
1,703
Points
24
Aw sh*t, now im gonna have to cancel my ebay bid on a YSL baby camoflauge romper with ammo clip, because news of an impending bouncing elguapito is false.

And for a moment., it being cupids day, I thought love was in the air.
 
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