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Evil, rotten, mean, and nasty birds

WSU MUP Student

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I hate birds. The feelings of hatred began when I was routinely attacked by blue jays and red-winged blackbirds while out running, cycling, walking, or just enjoying the outdoors. I don't hate all birds, but there are definitely no birds I love.

This morning around 5:00 a.m. I was leaving to go for a run and was exiting through the garage. As I hit the button to open the door from the inside, I must have startled a robin that was on the outside of the door because it the proceeded to fly into the garage and just go crazy. He then perched on top of the garage door tracks and wouldn't move. I threw some gloves at him hoping it would scare him and make him fly out, but he just got confused and was flapping around between my Jeep and the ceiling and then would perch on the tracks again. It took about 7 minutes of me repeatedly opening and closing the garage door to get him to fly back outside. The ordeal must have literally scared the sh!t out of him because when I got outside and put the garage door back down, I noticed it was covered in very fresh bird poop. When I left to drive to work, I discovered the same thing happened to the windshield and roof of my Jeep. I guess it's a good thing I didn't take the top off of it last night like I had originally planned.
 

Dan

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I hate birds. The feelings of hatred began when I was routinely attacked by blue jays and red-winged blackbirds while out running, cycling, walking, or just enjoying the outdoors. I don't hate all birds, but there are definitely no birds I love.

I hate Bluejays. They visit the feeder, scream, and chase off the "nice" birds like Chickadees and Cardinals, and just throw seed around onto the deck. I don't care that they're pretty, or the official bird of New York State. Bluejays suck.

What's worse, though, are Mourning Doves. I got rid of the flat feeder to drive them off; the damn doves would sit in it for a half hour or more at a time, and shit in the seed itself. Rats with wings.

Chickadees are awesome little birds.
 

Maister

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I once heard pigeons referred to as "sewer falcons". Easy to see why. Seagulls look cool and certainly have a distinctive call, but as far as I'm concerned they are seaborne rats with wings.

oh, one other thing. I cannot use the row of parking at work located beneath the overhead wires. I never see birds perched up there, but one of these days I'm going to catch them in the act!
Moderator note:

split from RTDNTOTO
 
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btrage

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I too find birds to be creepy little things. I never understood how people could make a hobby out of staring at them. Bird feeders are forbidden at my household.
 

Gedunker

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They say crows can recognize individual people and, if a person has mis-treated them, they will target that person.:-o
 

imaplanner

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I like birds and have a few birdfeeders. I have had a few pet parrots as well. so in summary- y'all suck for hating on the winged things!
 

Dan

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I just learned last year that birds don't have spinchters. When they gotta' go, they go. Like last week, when they nailed my recently repaired and freshly painted trunk.

Anyone here ever gotten a direct hit on their head? I've had a flying guano deposit land on my shoulder a couple of times.
 

Otis

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^^^ Many years ago, in a prior incarnation, I was on Anacapa Island off the coast of California, helping with a nesting gull research project. It seems to me that one of the gulls' main defenses is to crap on you, which they did with great regularity and accuracy. I was dressed for it (lightweight parka that could be rinsed off), but it was a bit disconcerting. And since the gulls had been eating pelagic red crabs, their sh!t was pink. They may not have closers on their digestive tracts, but they sure seem to have pushers.
 

imaplanner

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I just learned last year that birds don't have spinchters. When they gotta' go, they go. .

I don't think that's true. I've had two pet parrots that were somewhat potty trained. While not always successful they would definitely try to hold it until they were back in their cage. My parents have a pet cockatoo who likes my dad the least and when he has to go he always runs over to my dad, climbs up on him, poops, and then runs back to whoever he was previously hanging out with. It's pretty hilarious.
 

Zoning Goddess

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I like birds and have a few birdfeeders. I have had a few pet parrots as well. so in summary- y'all suck for hating on the winged things!

I agree. The doves go to the hanging feeders and the flat feeder and do not leave a mess. They always seem to wait until everyone else is done, and get the leftovers. The jays left the hanging feeders when I put out the flat feeder. It all works well.

As imaplanner says below, parrots can be house-trained. They are so smart. Speaking from personal experience.
 

otterpop

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Magpies are very common here. I personally like them. I think they are attractive but not showy and they serve an important function of cleaning up the road-killed squirrels and other organic matter. They appear to be pretty smart for bird-brains.

I am also amused by the hatred they have for our cat. As soon as he goes outside the magpies get really aggitated. Magpies in other yards will fly over to harass him. Magpies tend to nest pretty high in spruce trees, so I don't think he has any chance of getting in their nests. Maybe it is because he is also white and black. Or maybe they don't like cats. Maybe they just don't like him (he is a jerk as cats go).

Regardless, it is amusing to watch them diving at him and him running for cover.

When I was a kid we had a Siamese cat who was sleeping in the grass, or so it seemed he was sleeping. A blue jay was swooping down repeatedly at him. That is until he swooped a little too close and Simba leaped up and caught it. Simba was one bad-ass Siamese cat.
 

ofos

Vintage Cyburbian
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When I was a kid we had a Siamese cat who was sleeping in the grass, or so it seemed he was sleeping. A blue jay was swooping down repeatedly at him. That is until he swooped a little too close and Simba leaped up and caught it. Simba was one bad-ass Siamese cat.

We had a three legged cat that was death on mockingbirds. I miss her.
 

dandy_warhol

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I just learned last year that birds don't have spinchters. When they gotta' go, they go. Like last week, when they nailed my recently repaired and freshly painted trunk.

Anyone here ever gotten a direct hit on their head? I've had a flying guano deposit land on my shoulder a couple of times.


Two years ago while on a site visit with my friend in the Engineering Dept. I was made a victim by some little birdie. Got the side of my head and my shoulder. It had eaten berries earlier in the day. :-c8-!




Add me to the bird lovers club. We have 3 feeders though only 1 functions primarily as a bird feeder. The other two are for the squirrels and our chipmunk.
 

mendelman

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Having grownup in a city on the shores of Lake Huron, I have developed a white hot passionate dislike of both seagulls and Canada geese.

Gulls are just nasty aggressive garbage and Canada geese are messy nasty mean piles of feathers.

Here's a tip - If you don't want geese messing up your subdivision's water features, don't mow to the edge of the water!
 

WSU MUP Student

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Anyone here ever gotten a direct hit on their head? I've had a flying guano deposit land on my shoulder a couple of times.

I've never been the victim of a direct head shot, but did take one to the shoulder one day while sitting in my car having lunch. One of my sisters, on the other hand, received two direct hits to the head in about a 4 day span on one of our trips to Florida when we were little.
 

btrage

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Having grownup in a city on the shores of Lake Huron, I have developed a white hot passionate dislike of both seagulls and Canada geese.

Gulls are just nasty aggressive garbage and Canada geese are messy nasty mean piles of feathers.

Here's a tip - If you don't want geese messing up your subdivision's water features, don't mow to the edge of the water!

Bounties should be placed upon Canadian Geese.
 

TOFB

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I hate how red winged blackbirds dive at you coming right from the sun. Kamikaze bastards.
 

otterpop

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Anyone here ever gotten a direct hit on their head? I've had a flying guano deposit land on my shoulder a couple of times.

While walking to the administrative office of the cathedral to sign up for our wedding, a bird got me on the head. Maybe I should have taken it as an omen.
 

Otis

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Back off, bird haters. :-{ Birds are good. Except for pigeons. :victory: Except for pigeons, all birds are good. And starlings. :victory: Except for pigeons and starlings, all birds are good. Oh, and cowbirds. :-@ Except for pigeons and starlings and cowbirds, all birds are good. Except for the flicker that's trying to drill a hole in my cedar siding. :-@ Except for pigeons, starlings, cowbirds, that fooking flicker, all birds are good.

I once saw a seagull catch and eat a starling. GOT to love seagulls for that. :l:
 

Maister

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Birds. They sure are good at pooping. Dontcha wish they'd do it discreetly in a bush somewhere instead of [fill in the blank]
 

ofos

Vintage Cyburbian
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Birds. They sure are good at pooping. Dontcha wish they'd do it discreetly in a bush somewhere instead of [fill in the blank]

I know whatcha mean. If birds drove cars and I could fly, I wouldn't go around pooping on their cars and heads. Or would I.........?
 

WSU MUP Student

Cyburbian
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Having grownup in a city on the shores of Lake Huron, I have developed a white hot passionate dislike of both seagulls and Canada geese.

Gulls are just nasty aggressive garbage and Canada geese are messy nasty mean piles of feathers.

Here's a tip - If you don't want geese messing up your subdivision's water features, don't mow to the edge of the water!

Bounties should be placed upon Canadian Geese.

I think one of the problems in the upper Midwest, as far as geese go, is that it doesn't get nearly as cold as it used to in the winter and the geese don't fly as far south as they used to or stick around here longer than before, just making the problems that much worse.

My employer contracts with a lady who has two big dogs and drives around our campus and the locations of whoever her other clients are and stops when she sees geese congregating on the grounds and lets her dogs out to chase them away. These seems to have made a pretty good dent in the problem here over the past year or two we've been using her services.

I've heard of some parks with goose problems that have the grounds crews shake up goose eggs if they come across their nest. This will make the goose continue to sit on it thinking it will hatch and it never does. And then the next season, the goose will move on to another locale to lay its eggs because it thinks something in the environment caused its eggs not to hatch in the first location. Whereas if the parks employees just smash the eggs, the goose will just lay another one and start over again.
 

ofos

Vintage Cyburbian
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I think one of the problems in the upper Midwest, as far as geese go, is that it doesn't get nearly as cold as it used to in the winter and the geese don't fly as far south as they used to or stick around here longer than before, just making the problems that much worse.

My employer contracts with a lady who has two big dogs and drives around our campus and the locations of whoever her other clients are and stops when she sees geese congregating on the grounds and lets her dogs out to chase them away. These seems to have made a pretty good dent in the problem here over the past year or two we've been using her services.

I've heard of some parks with goose problems that have the grounds crews shake up goose eggs if they come across their nest. This will make the goose continue to sit on it thinking it will hatch and it never does. And then the next season, the goose will move on to another locale to lay its eggs because it thinks something in the environment caused its eggs not to hatch in the first location. Whereas if the parks employees just smash the eggs, the goose will just lay another one and start over again.

Geese are just like deer. Half the folks feed them so they'll stay and the other half tries to find ways to make them leave. BTW, all those lakes and ponds get over-fertilized by excess bread and excess geese crap so everyone ends up losing.
 

dandy_warhol

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I've heard of some parks with goose problems that have the grounds crews shake up goose eggs if they come across their nest. This will make the goose continue to sit on it thinking it will hatch and it never does. And then the next season, the goose will move on to another locale to lay its eggs because it thinks something in the environment caused its eggs not to hatch in the first location. Whereas if the parks employees just smash the eggs, the goose will just lay another one and start over again.

That sounds rather cruel.
 

wahday

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I was hanging out at a friend's on Saturday night and a hummingbird flew into the house. Man, that thing was NOT interested in leaving through the door she came in. We tried all manner of contraptions to direct it toward an exit.. Finally it began tiring and as I slowly came at it with a broom to shoo it toward the door again, it just perched right on the bristly end, exhausted, and I carried it on out the door. Those tings are so tiny!!

We have tons of ornery Canada Geese here as well. The thing is, they hang with the Sandhill Cranes, which are pretty rare down this way and the Rio Grande is an important migratory route. So, if you want the Sandhills, you gotta contend with the Canada Geese. And they don't stand for anyone pushing them around! I was riding on trails by a little pond and had to stop cold and have a face-off with a couple of them right in the middle of the path. In the end, they "barely" moved aside enough for me to squeak by. Honk!

Also, my dog one time came swimming across the river from a little island with something in its mouth. Turned out with was a goose egg. Not only are those things big, they are tough as hell!
 

DetroitPlanner

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We had a three legged cat that was death on mockingbirds. I miss her.

"To Kill a Monkingbird", you need a 3-legged cat?

Back off, bird haters. :-{ Birds are good. Except for pigeons. :victory: Except for pigeons, all birds are good. And starlings. :victory: Except for pigeons and starlings, all birds are good. Oh, and cowbirds. :-@ Except for pigeons and starlings and cowbirds, all birds are good. Except for the flicker that's trying to drill a hole in my cedar siding. :-@ Except for pigeons, starlings, cowbirds, that fooking flicker, all birds are good.

I once saw a seagull catch and eat a starling. GOT to love seagulls for that. :l:

... and this chair.... and this remote control.... and this paddleball.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VbI5zcB8Ac
 
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ursus

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I like birds, but HATE Starlings.

In fairness to me, the Starlings started it. I've put this up before, but the Angry, Angry Starling who made his way into my laundry chute from the outside wall and then took over my bathroom for a day and a half will go up again on this thread.

This bird scared the hell out of me.

family photos, dec 08 - feb 09 173.jpg
 

Maister

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Do you think birds prefer to poop on silver cars? Seriously.
 

ursus

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If I was going to dump on a car, I'd pick a silver one. Seriously.

What do you mean "if"? But yes, silver. Always silver. Silver is the snottiest of the colors. So smug. So shiny. It begs to be pooped on.
 

Mastiff

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When I find bird poop on my car, I go to the store and get some fried chicken. Then I eat it outside so those birds know what I'm capable of...
 

btrage

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When I find bird poop on my car, I go to the store and get some fried chicken. Then I eat it outside so those birds know what I'm capable of...

Any animal that will fly into a window repeatedly until it dies is a stupid, dumb, stupid rotten animal.
 

otterpop

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If we are going to be out of town for a few days, I lower the bird feeder to about a foot off the ground and fill it with birdseed. Then I let the cat out, so he can eat and not be too bored while we are gone ;)
 

mike gurnee

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Starlings (Grackles) are social critters. When the wind blows a chick out of its nest, I throw it over the fence so the neighbor cats can have a treat. Not just the mom, but up to 8 others try to stop me. So far I have always won...but there have been some nightmares.
 

mgk920

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I've been seeing increasing numbers of wild turkeys here in the Appleton area in recent years. They are big, don't fly and carry a nasty attitude.

I agree with the OP, though - robins maintain very messy nests and are a great incentive to keep the garage door closed - they'll nest in the garage if you don't!

:-o

Mike
 

kjel

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I've been seeing increasing numbers of wild turkeys here in the Appleton area in recent years. They are big, don't fly and carry a nasty attitude.

I agree with the OP, though - robins maintain very messy nests and are a great incentive to keep the garage door closed - they'll nest in the garage if you don't!

:-o

Mike

There were 3 wild turkeys next to my car the other morning. Scared the crap out of me because they were between the driver's door and the concrete retaining wall and I didn't see them until I came around the rear of the car to get into it.
 

btrage

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A bird just flew into the building here at work and died. They are stupid, stupid creatures.
 

Maister

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Okay, so a flock of Canadian geese did a number on the parking lot. I missed it and stepped in a big honking pile two feet from my car door. Ewww:eek:|
 

DVD

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We've got smaller migrating birds of some kind that like to hang out on the powerlines. The kids scream bird party every time they seem it. Last week the bird party flew over the car and covered it. 3 shots on the windshield and plenty on the roof and hood. The daughter is now disgusted by bird parties.
 
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