Famous last words.

[Tom R]

More?

“Why I’ve lived here for forty-odd years and I’ve never seen that stream flood!”

“Who would want to open a dirty bookstore here? We’re all good people in this community.”

“That cul-de-sac is permanent. The real-estate agent said so.”

“What do I need a building permit for? It’s just a deck.”

“He’ll never sell that farm.”

“They can’t develop those woods, my kids play down there.”

“Why, our septic system works just fine. Look how green the grass is.”

“Why can’t I have pigs? My grand pap did. They’re what you call grandfathered.”

“We don’t want a cell tower in our neighborhood! Excuse me, I’ve got a call.”

 

[Big Easy King]

"A non-conforming use is completely okay if it's my use." 8-!

 

[Maister]

"Well of course we started pouring concrete today. Someone from your office said it was OK to start. No I don't remember their name...oh wait, I'm pretty sure it was a guy and not a gal who said so."

 

[pandersen]

"Who the hell are you to tell me what I can and can not do with MY land, sonny! I fought in the war (of your choice) to defend indivual freedom".

 

[michaelskis]

"It has been there since before the city was a city"

"I pay my taxes, I am going to do what I want"

"This was farm land before it was a neighborhood"

"But if my kids and I park our cars in the driveway, I won't be able to use my garage for my other cars"

"I know (Insert Mayor or City Counsel member here)"

“The constitution said that I can own and do what ever I want with my land and by you limiting what I can do violates my civil rights. Furthermore you are tress passing and my right to bare arms permits me to shoot you if you do not get off my land.”

 

[Maister]

“The constitution said that I can own and do what ever I want with my land and by you limiting what I can do violates my civil rights. Furthermore you are tress passing and my right to bare arms permits me to shoot you if you do not get off my land.”

Actually, those would famous last words for YOU, Michaelskis ;-)

 

[donk]

I'm goin' inside to get me gun, if you are still here when I get back they'll be trouble.

What type of name is that? It don't sound local, we got ways of dealin' with you foriners. (bad phonetic spelling done on purpose)

I killed better men than you.

Get the EXPLICITIVE out of here you EXPLICITIVE dirty RACIAL SLUR.

I really need a garage this big, I have to store my skidder, four wheelers, cube van, tools, lawn mowers, back hoe and all the stuff related to my landscaping /wood cutting/ foundation/ carpentry/construction business. After all you won't let me leave it outside.

 

[nerudite]

"We've always done it this way. The previous planner told me I could!"

What I find the funniest is when people point to the States and say, "In the States, this type of development is perfectly acceptable." And I usually go into my big speech about how I'm from the States and practiced there for 12 years... blah blah blah. One time after that I got a "know it all American" comment. To which I replied "Thank you!"

 

[Zoning Goddess]

"I served on the zoning board in New Jersey. I know my rights."

"We didn't have stupid rules like this up north."

"I was expecting a man." (when "a planner" was summoned to speak to him/her and I showed up)

"You people are just anti-development."

"I bet you didn't even have to go to college to get this job."

"What exactly is it that you do, anyway?" (from my mom, after I'd been a planner for, oh, maybe 10 years.

 

[otterpop]

More?

“Why, our septic system works just fine. Look how green the grass is.”

I had an old codger tell me, "My septic system works just fine. It has been there 30 years and I haven't had to pump the septic tank yet."

I could just picture that rusted-out septic tank leaking directly into the groundwater.

 

[donk]

What I find the funniest is when people point to the States and say, "In the States, this type of development is perfectly acceptable." And I usually go into my big speech about how I'm from the States and practiced there for 12 years... blah blah blah. One time after that I got a "know it all American" comment. To which I replied "Thank you!"

That is the funniest thing that I am finding in my move.

Where I was before, we'd always get "well in X they'd let me do it", or "it would only take 10 minutes to do".

I am finding and have reported back to my fomer coworkers that most people were lying, not that we did not already know that. (Come on a variance does not take 2 weeks to process anywhere)

 

[nerudite]

Where I was before, we'd always get "well in X they'd let me do it", or "it would only take 10 minutes to do".

I am finding and have reported back to my fomer coworkers that most people were lying, not that we did not already know that. (Come on a variance does not take 2 weeks to process anywhere)

Yeah, we get that a lot too. "But in Edmonton they do..." is the most common. They point to the States most often for dealing with celltowers. But I always have to tell them how radically different the system is up here when it comes to cell tower approvals.

 

[Plannerbabs]

"That electronic message board will only show the time and temperature, no sales pitches."

"If we connect the stub street, where will my kids play?"

"The pool installation guy said it was ok" usually followed by, "Well, the fence company told me it was alright to put a 10' fence in my front yard."

 

[DecaturHawk]

Where I was before, we'd always get "well in X they'd let me do it", or "it would only take 10 minutes to do".

That's a favorite of mine. For some reason, every city in which I have worked is the "hardest city around here to get anything done in" (sic). I guess I'll have to take that as a compliment.

 

[giff57]

Screw the mods and anyone else that disagrees with me, I will do what I want in Cyburbia. What can they do to me?

 

[Dan]

"All that book larnin' didn't teach you nothin'!"

"Lib'rl."

Screw the mods and anyone else that disagrees with me, I will do what I want in Cyburbia. What can they do to me?

 

[Richmond Jake]

Twice last week since moving to the Sunshine State: "You take funny, boy."

 

[Gedunker]

Twice last week since moving to the Sunshine State: "You take funny, boy."

Or the corrollary: "You're not from around here, are you?"

"I'm spending my money to fix this damn place up and you are going to tell me what I can and can't do? I don't think so!"

"I can't afford a survey (before I install this $4,000 property line fence), but I know where my property lines are."

One of my new favorites -- not spoken, but written on an application for a conditional use:
Reason Conditional Use is Required -- "Because planner Told Me I Need One." (Name changed to protect the innocent ;-))

 

[boiker]

"There's nothing historic about this house anyway."

"_________ is why everyone is moving out of town."

"___________ is why no businesses want to locate here."

"If I take down my banner, I'll go out of business. Things are tough right now."

"You need a license to sell food (from a vender's cart)?"

 

[Big Easy King]

"Why is a public hearing necessary? You've already heard about my proposal."

 

[Duke Of Dystopia]

My lot is Tax Parceled. I pay two sets of taxes for one normal sized property. The tax parceling means I can build a house on the other tax parcel for my daughter no matter what the lot requirements for a legally platted lot are!



GGGRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! |

 

[Downtown]

In South Carolina, issuing septic tank permits:
"Why do I have to have a septic tank?"

"I ain't gonna let no little girl tell me I cain't have 7 mobil homes on my prop'ty!"

In New York:
"Well, maybe you'll change your tune after I contact my lawyer!"
Who knew that one could be threatened with so many lawsuits in so little time....

PS - the Ban Hamster is my favorite!

 

[plannerkat]

Twice last week since moving to the Sunshine State: "You take funny, boy."

Yes, but you're in the panhandle, also known as "Lower Alabama". I get the "you tok funny/differn't" everytime I visit my panhandle relatives. Head north a few miles on Highway 77 or 79 if you want to meet some real characters! Zoning is still considered a communist plot in some of the towns near you.

 

[biscuit]

In South Carolina, issuing septic tank permits:
"Why do I have to have a septic tank?"

"If that outhouse was good 'nuff fer my daddy, well then, it's plenty good 'nuff fer me." :-D
____________________________________________________________________


"I didn't see anything in the paperwork about having to document the work."

"Who's this Davis Bacon fellow?"

"And just why the #$&* can't you come out and replace the no parking sign in front of my house?"

"I don't know why you don't have that contract. I swear I mailed it the other day.Must have gotten lost in the mail... Could you send us another?" (The amount of mail the Postal Service looses around here is truly amazing. ;-) )

 

[H]

"this one approval wont open Pandora's Box..."

 

[Maister]

Permit? All ah'm doing is replacing the xxxx that's already there!

 

[mike gurnee]

You may know zoning stuff, but you know nothing about retailing.

 

[Planit]

When we were bringing the E911 system on line.



"Why do I need one of them 911 addresses? My address is 593 XXXX Street and has been since I moved here.

 

[AnvilPartners]

As I was turning my cell phone to silent

"Are you RECORDING this conversation???!!! If your're recording this conversation I want a copy. You can't record me without my permission -- this is an invasion of my privacy...I'm going to file a complaint with the police and then demand that the mayor fire your ass..."

Of course, the applicant had already become somewhat heated by then...it took a full two minutes to prove that the cell phone was actually a cell phone and not some type of super spy tape recorder...welcome to NC beach towns...