Favorite Planning Quote
- Thread starter jestes
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PlannerGirl
Cyburbian Plus
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"your lack of planning does not constitue an emergency on my part"
i had that in my office in GSO and i reallllllyyyyy wanted to point to it with developers with unrealistic time lines
D
i had that in my office in GSO and i reallllllyyyyy wanted to point to it with developers with unrealistic time lines
D
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- Points
- 6
From my former job, not actually spoken by me, but often on my mind when dealing with PIA developers:
"The County pays me the same whether your plat gets recorded or not."
And, from a dear coworker:
"There is no "I" in f**k off!"
"The County pays me the same whether your plat gets recorded or not."
And, from a dear coworker:
"There is no "I" in f**k off!"
Planderella
Cyburbian
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At one of the CPC public hearings, a very snooty neighborhood association was protesting the rezoning of a non-conforming commercial structure so that a coffee shop (Starbucks) could locate there. One of the spokespersons said We have no objection to unobjectionable uses . 
lowlyplanner
Cyburbian
- Messages
- 68
- Points
- 4
My favorite planning-related quote came from one of our city councilors, who said: "Sprawl's not so bad - if it weren't for sprawl, we'd all be living in Springfield [a rough neighborhood that the city has been trying to revitalize]."
I still ponder the logic going on in that phrase...
I still ponder the logic going on in that phrase...
- Messages
- 130
- Points
- 6
"For every human problem, there is a neat, simple solution; and it is always wrong"
H. L. Mencken
H. L. Mencken
- Messages
- 19,335
- Points
- 71
Used by a resident in protesting a proposed truck stop (with fantastic architectural design, landscaping and ONLY A TINY MONUMENT SIGN!) in Aurora, Colorado:
You can put a dress on a pig and call it a beauty queen, but it's still a pig.
A few others to ponder ... no favorites.
I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall
I'll never see a tree at all.
- Odgen Nash
Neighborhood - Any collection of hitherto unacquainted individuals with physically proximate homes who find themselves suddenly united in vigorous opposition to unpalatable change, especially a rezoning, development, or highway.
-- Joel Garreau
Great ale makes great times. Great times make great friends. Great friends make great neighborhoods. Great neighborhoods make great cities. Great cities make creat nations. Great nations make a great world. Therefore, the greatness of the world depends on ale.
-- Ben Grant
A street is a spatial entity and not the residue between buildings.
-- Anonymous
We cannot continue to believe that the landscape is sacred and the city profane. They must both be considered sacred.
-- Paul Murrain
The loss of a forest or a farm is justified only if it is replaced by a village. To replace them with a subdivision or a shopping center is not an even trade.
-- Andres Duany
Societies and civilizations in which the cities stagnate don't develop and flourish. They deteriorate.
-- Jane Jacobs
I get so involved in the nit-picky stuff, I forget the details.
-- Anonymous development review planner
Portable signs are permitted for a period not to exceed three hundred sixty five days per year.
-- Section 20.66.140 - El Paso, Texas Zoning Code
I went back to Ohio
But my pretty countryside
Had been paved down the middle
By a government that had no pride
The farms of Ohio
Had been replaced by shopping malls
And Muzak filled the air
From Seneca to Cuyahoga Falls
-- The Pretenders, from the lyrics to "My City Was Gone"
I see these children with their boredom and their vacant stares
God help us all if we're to blame for their unanswered prayers
They roll the sidewalks up at night, this place goes underground
Thanks to the condo kings there's cable now in Zombietown
Now we're gonna get the closed circuit
Now we're gonna get the Top 40
Now we're gonna get the sports franchise
Now we're gonna get the major attractions
-- Billy Joel, from the lyrics to "No Man's Land"
I tell you something, I have this feeling that this city’s dying
He said, it’s not dying it’s the people who are dying
She said, yes, yes, I think the people are dying and nobody cares.
We had all this technology, our dreams were bold and vague
And then one city got bad planners, one city got the plague.
-- Dar Williams, from the lyrics to "Mortal City"
Sign after sign, after sign, until
Their property values slumped to nil.
And even the dinosaurs moved away
From that messed-up spot in the U.S.A.
-- Dr. Seuss
My Mill grinds
Pepper and Spice
You Mill grinds
Rats and Mice.
No Health Department endorsement?
I'm calling Code Enforcement
Wouldn't that be nice!
-- Anonymous
Stupid Planner Trick #4: Streamlining. "Fast Track" processing is the planning equivalent of Montezuma's Revenge: works fast, feels terrible. Not for the faint of heart or weak of stomach.
-- Dan Coleman
Stupid Planner Trick #3: Plannerese. Dazzle them with special jargon known only to planners. Not a natural skill, this is best acquired by reading every issue of the APA Journal from cover to cover (including all footnotes). For example: "Yes sir, it is true that the Constitution protects your right to bear semi-automatic weapons, but in today's paradigm of socio-economic realities manufacturing Uzis is not a permitted use within polygons whose attributes are associated with structures
intended for human habitation."
-- Dan Coleman
Stupid Planner Trick #1: Reading upside down plans. Probably the single most useful skill for a planner working the public counter. Not to be confused with the more advanced skill of sanding upside down while reading plans.
-- Dan Coleman
Q: Why did God create urban planners?
A: To make weather forecasters look good.
-- Anonymous
Q: Why is wrestling with a pig like arguing with a developer?
A: Because after tangling for a while, you're both muddy and the pig enjoys it!
-- Anonymous
And may God bless Chocolate City and its vanilla suburbs.
-- George Clinton
Men mold some cities, some cities mold men.
-- Sidney Sheldon
An urban planner is someone who knows 100 ways to make love, but doesn't know any women/men.
-- Anonymous
If you think the United States has stood still, who built the largest shopping center in the world
-- Richard M. Nixon
You can put a dress on a pig and call it a beauty queen, but it's still a pig.
A few others to ponder ... no favorites.
I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall
I'll never see a tree at all.
- Odgen Nash
Neighborhood - Any collection of hitherto unacquainted individuals with physically proximate homes who find themselves suddenly united in vigorous opposition to unpalatable change, especially a rezoning, development, or highway.
-- Joel Garreau
Great ale makes great times. Great times make great friends. Great friends make great neighborhoods. Great neighborhoods make great cities. Great cities make creat nations. Great nations make a great world. Therefore, the greatness of the world depends on ale.
-- Ben Grant
A street is a spatial entity and not the residue between buildings.
-- Anonymous
We cannot continue to believe that the landscape is sacred and the city profane. They must both be considered sacred.
-- Paul Murrain
The loss of a forest or a farm is justified only if it is replaced by a village. To replace them with a subdivision or a shopping center is not an even trade.
-- Andres Duany
Societies and civilizations in which the cities stagnate don't develop and flourish. They deteriorate.
-- Jane Jacobs
I get so involved in the nit-picky stuff, I forget the details.
-- Anonymous development review planner
Portable signs are permitted for a period not to exceed three hundred sixty five days per year.
-- Section 20.66.140 - El Paso, Texas Zoning Code
I went back to Ohio
But my pretty countryside
Had been paved down the middle
By a government that had no pride
The farms of Ohio
Had been replaced by shopping malls
And Muzak filled the air
From Seneca to Cuyahoga Falls
-- The Pretenders, from the lyrics to "My City Was Gone"
I see these children with their boredom and their vacant stares
God help us all if we're to blame for their unanswered prayers
They roll the sidewalks up at night, this place goes underground
Thanks to the condo kings there's cable now in Zombietown
Now we're gonna get the closed circuit
Now we're gonna get the Top 40
Now we're gonna get the sports franchise
Now we're gonna get the major attractions
-- Billy Joel, from the lyrics to "No Man's Land"
I tell you something, I have this feeling that this city’s dying
He said, it’s not dying it’s the people who are dying
She said, yes, yes, I think the people are dying and nobody cares.
We had all this technology, our dreams were bold and vague
And then one city got bad planners, one city got the plague.
-- Dar Williams, from the lyrics to "Mortal City"
Sign after sign, after sign, until
Their property values slumped to nil.
And even the dinosaurs moved away
From that messed-up spot in the U.S.A.
-- Dr. Seuss
My Mill grinds
Pepper and Spice
You Mill grinds
Rats and Mice.
No Health Department endorsement?
I'm calling Code Enforcement
Wouldn't that be nice!
-- Anonymous
Stupid Planner Trick #4: Streamlining. "Fast Track" processing is the planning equivalent of Montezuma's Revenge: works fast, feels terrible. Not for the faint of heart or weak of stomach.
-- Dan Coleman
Stupid Planner Trick #3: Plannerese. Dazzle them with special jargon known only to planners. Not a natural skill, this is best acquired by reading every issue of the APA Journal from cover to cover (including all footnotes). For example: "Yes sir, it is true that the Constitution protects your right to bear semi-automatic weapons, but in today's paradigm of socio-economic realities manufacturing Uzis is not a permitted use within polygons whose attributes are associated with structures
intended for human habitation."
-- Dan Coleman
Stupid Planner Trick #1: Reading upside down plans. Probably the single most useful skill for a planner working the public counter. Not to be confused with the more advanced skill of sanding upside down while reading plans.
-- Dan Coleman
Q: Why did God create urban planners?
A: To make weather forecasters look good.
-- Anonymous
Q: Why is wrestling with a pig like arguing with a developer?
A: Because after tangling for a while, you're both muddy and the pig enjoys it!
-- Anonymous
And may God bless Chocolate City and its vanilla suburbs.
-- George Clinton
Men mold some cities, some cities mold men.
-- Sidney Sheldon
An urban planner is someone who knows 100 ways to make love, but doesn't know any women/men.
-- Anonymous
If you think the United States has stood still, who built the largest shopping center in the world
-- Richard M. Nixon
Tom R
Cyburbian
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- 25
From: Thomas E. Martin, AICP Ellsworth, Maine
"clusterphobia" [an irrational fear of cluster development}
"Halloween tax" [parents from low density areas who drive their children to high density areas for trick or treating, thereby requiring those in compact areas to subsidize the sweet teeth of children in less compact areas] ) .
"clusterphobia" [an irrational fear of cluster development}
"Halloween tax" [parents from low density areas who drive their children to high density areas for trick or treating, thereby requiring those in compact areas to subsidize the sweet teeth of children in less compact areas] ) .
Tom R said:
slight hijack
in our neighborhood, we get the opposite - our first halloween we were warned that we would be beseiged by the little kids from the neighboring ghetto, whose parents bring them to Colonie because their own neighborhood isn't safe for people to walk around after dark.
i actually thought that it was nice that those kids had parents that cared enough to bring them to a safe neighborhood. it's only candy, for christ's sake. sometimes my neighborhood makes me crazy.
plannerkat
Cyburbian
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- 202
- Points
- 9
lowlyplanner said:
This same councilman questioned the validity of our preservation program because "we're buying all of this land but we're not not doing anything with it." Um, isn't that kind of the point of preservation?
Jeff
Cyburbian
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- 27
On a certain to remain nameless municipality in Bucks County, PA....
"Why, what a great (insert your choice here) your comprehensive plan makes!"
a. Book end
b. Doorstop
c. Coffee coaster
d. Season long supply of paper footballs
I love that Halloween Tax thing too....that's a classic.
"Why, what a great (insert your choice here) your comprehensive plan makes!"
a. Book end
b. Doorstop
c. Coffee coaster
d. Season long supply of paper footballs
I love that Halloween Tax thing too....that's a classic.
GeogPlanner
Cyburbian
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- 1,431
- Points
- 25
see my signature...has more to do with my frustration in being a GIS person but it can be broadly applied.
Richmond Jake
You can't fight in here. This is the War Room!
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My favorites: "Your land, our call." or the ever popular: "We're with the government; stand aside, we're here to help you."
Long term favorite...
Trend is not destiny.
--Lewis Mumford
Ran across this recvently...
You could see a town lying ahead in its whole, as definitely formed as a plate on a table. And your road entered and ran straight through it, laid out for your passage through. Towns, like people, had clear identities and your imagination could go out to meet them.
---Eudora Welty
Trend is not destiny.
--Lewis Mumford
Ran across this recvently...
You could see a town lying ahead in its whole, as definitely formed as a plate on a table. And your road entered and ran straight through it, laid out for your passage through. Towns, like people, had clear identities and your imagination could go out to meet them.
---Eudora Welty
michaelskis
Cyburbian
- Messages
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- 57
"You don't want to tell people your a planner when your in this bar, if you do, they will kick your ass. I tell them that I am a contractor." Scott (a co-working when I lived in Reading PA)
"If it was not for sprawl, we would not have a town" - Current co-worker
“Alfred P. Sloan single handedly destroyed the American Downtown” – Richard Eathorne
(NMU Professor), and here, and here
"If it was not for sprawl, we would not have a town" - Current co-worker
“Alfred P. Sloan single handedly destroyed the American Downtown” – Richard Eathorne
(NMU Professor), and here, and here
DennisMaPlanner
Cyburbian
- Messages
- 198
- Points
- 7
Well, I can give you one I just got, seems to be the direction of the day
"The regulations are so difficult here, I can see why everyone is moving to Maine"
Sorry if any of you are from Maine, but you are welcome to our little annoyances. Of course from what I have seen lately in my research some of your regs are much tougher than anything we have.
"The regulations are so difficult here, I can see why everyone is moving to Maine"
Sorry if any of you are from Maine, but you are welcome to our little annoyances. Of course from what I have seen lately in my research some of your regs are much tougher than anything we have.
Whose Yur Planner
Cyburbian
- Messages
- 12,025
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- 47
Where there is no vision, the people perish-Proverbs 29:18. I have this taped to my computer as a reminder that the regulations have to accomplish a goal and were are here to serve the public.
Plannerbabs
Cyburbian
- Messages
- 1,037
- Points
- 23
On a magnet in my office: "Be the change you wish to see in the world." Gandhi. I see it as an invitation and a challenge.
ludes98
Cyburbian
- Messages
- 1,263
- Points
- 22
Some good ones in this old thread. Saw this on a site visit today:
Answers - $1
Answers that require thought - $2
Correct Answers - $4
Dumb looks are still free
Funny thing is this was posted in the project manager's contruction trailer office. I got plenty of the the free part.
Answers - $1
Answers that require thought - $2
Correct Answers - $4
Dumb looks are still free
Funny thing is this was posted in the project manager's contruction trailer office.
I got plenty of the the free part.
michaelskis
Cyburbian
- Messages
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- Points
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[angry dad voice] Don't make me step away from Cuburbia [/angry dad voice]
SlaveToTheGrind
Cyburbian
- Messages
- 1,677
- Points
- 29
Heard at Planning Commission last night - "Beautiful billboards."
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- 29
I was searching for some quote last night and ended up just surfing for quotes. I came across these. I felt they were "planning related" but I am not sure if others will agree. Perhaps it belongs in the "favorite quotes" thread, but I thought I would post it here...hopefully folks will see why I think they are rellevant to planning:
The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations.
David Friedman
The pursuit of peace and progress cannot end in a few years in either victory or defeat. The pursuit of peace and progress, with its trials and its errors, its successes and its setbacks, can never be relaxed and never abandoned.
Dag Hammarskjold
If we desire respect for the law, we must first make the law respectable.
Louis D. Brandeis
The world will never have lasting peace so long as men reserve for war the finest human qualities. Peace, no less than war, requires idealism and self-sacrifice and a righteous and dynamic faith.
John Foster Dulles
The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations.
David Friedman
The pursuit of peace and progress cannot end in a few years in either victory or defeat. The pursuit of peace and progress, with its trials and its errors, its successes and its setbacks, can never be relaxed and never abandoned.
Dag Hammarskjold
If we desire respect for the law, we must first make the law respectable.
Louis D. Brandeis
The world will never have lasting peace so long as men reserve for war the finest human qualities. Peace, no less than war, requires idealism and self-sacrifice and a righteous and dynamic faith.
John Foster Dulles
