Favorite Simpsons Quotes

[tsc]

Inspired by a Cyburbanite signature....

"Public Transportation is for jerks and lesbians."
~Homer J. Simpson

that made me laugh out loud in my cube....

What is your favorite Simpsons quotes??.... some of mine are.

"There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson."

-Bart Simpson

"Can't someone else do it?"
- Homer J. Simpson

"You know me, Marge. I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals fa-laming."
- Homer Simpson

 

[Rumpy Tunanator]

I forget if this is exactly the way it goes, but Dr Hibert walks in to a room with Bart and Homer spraying each other with some liquid. He goes, "Oh my God, your wasting thousands of dollars of ferion (?), and they go "And your interferion with our fun."

So many quotes, can't remember a thing right now, let me get another cup of coffee going.

Everytime something happened to Lenny, somebody would grab a picture of him and go "No, not Lenny!"

 

[michaelskis]

You don't hear it all that much any more... but,

I am Bart Simpson, who the hell are you...

and one that is used by Men everywhere,
DOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH

 

[Plannerbabs]

(Homer shaking fist at waffle stuck to ceiling)
"God, why do you mock me?"
Marge, prying waffle loose
"Homer, it's just a waffle that's been stuck to the ceiling."
Homer, drenching waffle in syrup and devouring it.
"Mmmmm, sacrilicious."

Apologies if that's not exact, it's early. 8-!

 

[NHPlanner]

Homer: If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in everyday and do it really half-assed. That's the American way!

 

[Richmond Jake]

"And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"

 

[Downtown]

Ralphie has most of my favorites:

When I grow up, I want to go to Bovine University!

My cat's breath smells like cat food!

Can I have another worm? Mine accidentally jumped into my mouth and I ate him.

Me fail English? That's Un-possible!

Mmmm, nap time! That's when I'm a Viking!

 

[mendelman]

Ralphie has most of my favorites:

When I grow up, I want to go to Bovine University!

My cat's breath smells like cat food!

Can I have another worm? Mine accidentally jumped into my mouth and I ate him.

Me fail English? That's Un-possible!

Mmmm, nap time! That's when I'm a Viking!

And...

Hi, Superintendo Chalmers. I'm learnding!

Then others:

It is better to watch things then to do them.
Homer Simpson

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!
Homer Simpson

 

[boiker]

"And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"

Thats because you were drunk.

now who's being naive.

 

[boiker]

more quotes

Homer:We could start our own game where people throw ducks at ballons and nothing is the way it seems.

 

[FueledByRamen]

My favorite (maybe cause I can sound just like him) is Chief Wiggum's lines:

"Do not be alarmed....continue swimming naked....awwwww c'mon!....continue!......alright boys, open fire"

"Now remember son, if your nose starts bleeding, that means you're picking it too much.....orrrrr not enough."

 

[H]

I could never stay mad at you sandwich....

 

[The Irish One]

Barney "go back to Russia"

 

[BiteMeElmo]

Homer:

"Stupid TV, BE MORE FUNNY!!"
(at the prospect of Marge having something hidden in her hair) "mmmmm....something"

Ralph:

"I bent my Wookie"

Bart to Lisa, while watching a movie: "If you don't watch the scary parts, you won't get desensitized to it"

So many others, it would take a while to think of them all...

 

[Rumpy Tunanator]

Homer to Lisa, as she protest Homer's BBQ, " :8: You don't make friends with salad :8: you don't make friends with salad :8: "

 

[nerudite]

Ralph is my favorite, but most of his funny stuff is situational and not a quote...

Here are some quotes though from Homer that I like

"Alcohol, the cause of and solution to all life's problems. "

"Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel. "

"I don't have to be careful. I have a gun."

 

[michaelskis]

I am not sure if it is a simpsons quote.. but it is good...

"There is a time and place for everything... it is called collage"

 

[Dragon]

"mmmmmmmmm.........forbidden doughnut" Homer - after trading his soul for a doughnut


Must remember others......

 

[sisterceleste]

I long for an inflatable blow up Homer Santa Claus to adorn my front yard at
Christmas time. I must have one. I will buy one to complete my Merry Electric Christmas decorations.

 

[JNA]

If you ever needed a/the source for quotes go here:

http://www.snpp.com/episodes.html :-}

 

[Rem]

JNLemailed the "Wisdom of Homer" just last week and many of your favourites appear.

I'm not good at remembering this stuff but one I liked from the email was:

Homer: "You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine."

 

[Greenescapist]

I'm a vegan to the 5th degree... I don't eat anything that casts a shadow.

 

[tsc]

just a few more....

I've got to get out of this rut and back in the groove.

Stupidity got us into this mess, and stupidity will get us out.

If God didn't want us to eat animals, then why'd he make them so tasty?

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is like another nail.

 

[boiker]

This quote popped into my head today:

Homer: "I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over 50, and if its speed changed, it would explode! I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down.""

 

[ebeech121]

Ralphie: Hey! This tastes like Grandma!
Chief Wiggums: [samples food] Wow...it really does taste like Grandma!

Ralphie: The doctor said my nose would stop bleeding if I kept my finger outta there.

 

[plankton]

When Homer is driving the light rail and Bart opens a fuse box and finds an opossum chewing on the wires, Homer says, "we call this one bitey". Maybe because I have bitey cats, I find that scene hilarious.

In college we had a running joke on Mr. Burns' "excellent" & Taco Bell....."south of the border mexcellent"....we used that one to death.

 

[JNL]

All you need to know to get through life, as advised by Homer Simpson:

"Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddys, and kids with fake IDs."

"Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."

"If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now
quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers."

"I want to share something with you - three sentences that will get
you through life:
Number one, 'Cover for me.'
Number two, 'Oh, good idea, boss.'
Number three, 'It was like that when I got here.'"

"Marge, you're as pretty as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda."

"Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty. 'Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.'"

"Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the
time. Just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow. Well,
good night."

"Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you
win or lose: it's how drunk you get."

"Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else - and it hasn't - it's that girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such."

"Stealing! How could you? Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain whats-his-name?

"We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well I didn't hear anybody aughin', did you?"

"Television - teacher, mother, secret lover!"

"Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'sir' without adding, 'you're making a scene.'"

 

[sisterceleste]

Ahhhh. Beer!

 

[amylea]

I love ralph...
Mrs. Krabapple and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw the baby and the baby looked at me...
Homer...
I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called... "The Bus That Couldnt Slow Down"
I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
I could go on for hours, but one last one..
I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.
:-D

 

[GeogPlanner]

Homer: Hey Marge, look at me - I'm making people happy. I'm the magical man from happy land who lives in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane ... In case you didn't realize, I was being sarcastic.
Marge: Well duh.

Homer: Help me Jebus!

 

[Chet]

"It tastes like burning!"
-Ralph Wiggum