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Glurge Web Design 101

Dan

Dear Leader
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
17,781
Points
58
Anyone else noticing a trend among many in creating Web sites that are over-the-top glurgey and kountry kitschy?

Some signs of a truly glurgely Web site seem to include:

1) A page devoted to the owner's cats
2) Lots of stock clip art
3) Flowery background and graphics
4) Very long pages
5) Forced background MIDI
6) Poetry, usually sappy
7) "Christ Jesus" mentioned several times
8) Tons of oversized, poorly designed "awards," most equally flowery
9) Lots of links to equally glurgey Web sites
10) Creator is typially a woman in the Southern United States, in a low-paying occupation i.e. daycare, home healthcare aide
11) Mentioning unicorns, angels, or some other new agey manifestation of good.

Here's a few examples ...

http://www.geocities.com/halogirl_24/links.html
http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/...8/indexpg2.html
http://www.perfectsites.com/Sandy/
http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/.../4602/Home.html
http://www.geocities.com/elainemarieslittlelantern
http://www.heavensangel.net

What's the glurgiest Web site out there? Is there really a book, or another Web site, or some source out there that is actually promoting this type of design?

By the way, I feel that I should mention that Cyburbia was not recently given these awards.

















 

Jen

Cyburbian
Messages
1,704
Points
25
Hey Dan,

Yikes those sites are dull. I even found a glurge.com.
 

Repo Man

Cyburbian
Messages
2,550
Points
25
Dan you almost forgot to include those sites with annoying mouse "tails" that follow the mouse arrow wherever you go.
 

nerudite

Cyburbian
Messages
6,544
Points
30
jtfortin said:
Dan you almost forgot to include those sites with annoying mouse "tails" that follow the mouse arrow wherever you go.
Yeah... like MarryTheresa. (but don't tell her I said that... or she might show up again in the forum ;) )
 

BKM

Cyburbian
Messages
6,464
Points
29
This shows how awful and juvenile my sense of humor still is, but I recommend Portal of Evil.com. It is a web directory of the bizarre, the banal, the strangely pornographic, and the paranoid. They often feature these kinds of sites-with a morbid twist (their favorite is the "dead baby site").

Until I discovered the Portal, I had no idea that there was an entire subculture of people who think they are/wish they were animals (furry fandom).www.portal of evil.com
 

Dan

Dear Leader
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
17,781
Points
58
Here's a pretty cool site that has a ton of links to glurgey, syrupy, sappy Web sites. Check out

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/ssotw/sappy.shtml

The links are described in graphic detail, for instance ...

This site truly has it all: incredibly sappy, amateurish poetry, tacky Romance Novel-cover illustrations, endless references to God, annoying MIDI files, and other treasures nearly too numerous to mention. Those include an over-the-top patriotic tribute to the Victims of Sept 11 (haven't their families suffered enough without these horrendous "tributes?), and a "Virtual Wedding" to Master Genesis- who includes his own turgid stories. There are endless links and tributes and endless poems about their virtual love, including a "First Anniversary Message" which has nearly as many verses as Spenser's "The Faerie Queene". And of course swords, horses, lord 'n' ladies, dragons, illustrations of buxom babes. Some of the pages took what seemed like hours to load but it was worth it, revealing each new atrocity.
 

BKM

Cyburbian
Messages
6,464
Points
29
Cool, Dan. I'll add this to my list of sites.

The Portal of Evil has shorter, snappier but still pithy descriptions. What makes the Portal great are the forums, wherein people make fun of the site, exchange pornographic attacks, call each other names, and engage in similar juvenile fripperies. I love the Portal. :)
 
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