Headlines and Quotes Thread

[BKM]

You all read them-the headlines and quotes from local newspapers that make you laugh out loud.

Could this be a cool thread?

Here's mine:



Wall Street Journal-Monday August 11 BEDFORD, Texas - James Brantley is an Air Force computer specialist by day. After hours, he is "Shadid," male belly-dancer.

 

[SlaveToTheGrind]

Since I just watched Headlines with Jay Leno last night, I will make my submittal. In fact, I even sent this in for his show, but never found out if it was used. It was from the Salt Lake Tribune a few years ago.


"One armed man escapes handcuffs"

 

[donk]

from the front page of our local paper the day I started working here

man teaches dog to fetch beer. it included a full colour photo and inside story.

 

[Zoning Goddess]

8/9/2003

Resident: Park's name is 'wicked'

by Brad Buck
The Palatka Daily News


BTW, the name in question is "Babylon"

 

[Repo Man]

This was in one of the weekly local papers:

Woman Cited for Striking Repo Man

I chuckled.

My favorite was sometime back in the late 80s a paper ad the headline "Thompson's Penis A Sword" When it was supposed to read "Thompson's Pen Is A Sword." The article was about former Wisconsin Gov. Tommy Thompson's line item veto power.

 

[Zoning Goddess]

Police Pull Over Motorized Bar Stool

POSTED: 12:30 p.m. EDT August 13, 2003
UPDATED: 12:32 p.m. EDT August 13, 2003

RENO, Nev. -- Police pulled over a man on a bar stool -- after a slow speed pursuit on one of Reno's busier streets.

An officer saw a man riding the motorized bar stool at 35 mph Monday. He was being followed closely by a woman in a Mustang.

Both driver and rider were pulled over.
------------------------------------------------------

(Guess he couldn't afford a Segway...)

 

[biscuit]

I read this one last Thursday in a newspaper from South Carolina
Missing Seneca Woman Still Missing

It's good to know that someone is out there reinforcing the obviuous.