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Home sweet home....

tsc

Cyburbian
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1,905
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23
Ok, after a long day of meetings... dealing with office reorganization.....I came home to pick up the house a little. I came upstairs from changing over the laundry.. and there were 2 long pieces of grass.... roots and all. Off course I didnt stop to pick them up immediately... because i was carrying a clothes basket. As soon as I put it down.... I here total chaos in the kitchen... pots pans.... and then the cat whizzes by.... and I realize she was chasing something.

So... she was staring at the couch... and with the help of a flashlight.. I discover a very unhappy chipmunk. I got some gloves so I could pick him up and put him outside.. and it ran into the bed room. Well I shut the door and the d@#$$#n chipmunk was running all over the place... over the bed... under the bed... over the clean clothes... climbing up the closet....with me chasing him.

The last I saw of him... he was under the bed and I can't find him. So... here I sit.... on the other side of the house on the computer.... and the cat is now in the room looking for Chippy....
 

Rem

Cyburbian
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1,524
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23
Can we assume Chippy is leaving chocolate jelly beans everywhere as well? Just want to flesh the picture out a bit.
 

SkeLeton

Cyburbian
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4,853
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26
That's just great... we've got killing kittens, killing racoons and now killing chipmunks?
 

Cardinal

Cyburbian
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10,080
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34
And the meaning of "killing chipmunks" would be? My vote would be oral sex. They do eat nuts ;)

 

Cardinal

Cyburbian
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10,080
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34
I live trap the chipmunks in my yard occasionally. It is best if I not mention in whose yard I release them. :-E I usually set a few kernels of corn in there, and it can take as short as thirty seconds before I have one of the little critters. If you don't have a trap handy, you might manage with a box or trash can.

I have also dealt with squirrels that come in the front door at work in fall. They think my office is a good place to put nuts. There is usually a whole lot of chasing going on. I found the best thing to do is to close the blinds so they don't head for the windows, then herd them through doors, closing them behind me, until they finally figure out where to go.

Good luck, and be sure to have somebody with a video camera taping the whole thing.
 

Queen B

Cyburbian
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3,179
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And that was the last we heard from you, I bet there is more to this story! And I can't wait to hear.
 

Rem

Cyburbian
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23
Queen B said:
And that was the last we heard from you, I bet there is more to this story! And I can't wait to hear.
Maybe the chipmunk had some friends - with guns, a power saw, some shovels .......
 

tsc

Cyburbian
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1,905
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Well… I left the room… and when I returned I couldn’t find him. After about an hour.. the cat was lurking around the room… but produced no chipmunk. I proceeded to change all the sheets (since he got his filthy paws all over the place) and then decided to vacuum….thinking that would scare him out of his hiding place. Well sure enough.. the vacuum scared him out of the base board radiators…and the little monster started running all over the place again….he ran in the closet.. and you could just see the clothes rattling on the hangers as he scurried through the clothes. Then he sat still…. I went to divide the clothes… and Chippy jumped out towards me.. to the floor and back around the bed. And me....trying to chase him in a room that is only 10X15. Any wounds that the Betty the cat might have inflicted on him...sure as heck weren't slowing him down.

I had him cornered in the baseboard again….got a bucket and thought I could direct him into it. Well…. I used a yard stick to roust him out of the corner.. he scurried. I thought he went into the bucket… and I covered it in a flash. When I peeked in the bucket.. he was gone.

That was the last I saw of Chippy last night. It was about midnight… and I decided to let him sleep in the room… but left the door open so the cats could come in on patrol. I also have a hound dog….. who slept on the floor... but he was no help either.

This morning… no Chippy…. I just hope he doesnt curl up and die. I left the window open...hoping he will escape...
 

SGB

Cyburbian
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3,388
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26
Great tale, tsc!

I think Betty needs some remedial rodent-catching training, though.......
 

Zoning Goddess

Cyburbian
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13,852
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39
We don't have chipmunks here. Our cats get their jollies chasing lizards that hang on the screen doors and jump into the house from time to time.

Good luck. Hope Chippy made it out alive.
 

Chet

Cyburbian Emeritus
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10,624
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34
Cardinal said:
And the meaning of "killing chipmunks" would be? My vote would be oral sex. They do eat nuts ;)
We have a winner.
 
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5,352
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31
This reminds me of the time a frog hopped into my apartment. It took nearly a week and a my uncle visiting from out of town to get that thing out.
 

Cardinal

Cyburbian
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10,080
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34
Planderella said:
This reminds me of the time a frog hopped into my apartment. It took nearly a week and a my uncle visiting from out of town to get that thing out.
Did you try kissing it?
 

biscuit

Cyburbian
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3,904
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25
Be thankful it's only a chipmunk. In college I had a large opossum get into the duct work of my house and die there. Took forever to get that dead opossum funk out of the house.
 

Seabishop

Cyburbian
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3,838
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25
My dad said that when he was young he was taking a bath and he noticed a mouse swimming up to a part of the body where you wouldn't want a mouse to bite you. He jumped out of the tub and killed it with a plunger turning the water red.
 

tsc

Cyburbian
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Seabishop said:
My dad said that when he was young he was taking a bath and he noticed a mouse swimming up to a part of the body where you wouldn't want a mouse to bite you. He jumped out of the tub and killed it with a plunger turning the water red.
oh my...now mouse killing.....
 

Queen B

Cyburbian
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25
This is a great tale.
Reminds me of a tale my ex tells of a squirrel he found mad in the wood stove one day and trying to get him out. Of course, the squirrel got lose in the house and he and the cat (which was no help at all, just annoyed that he was locked in a room with the stupid squirrel) trying to get it out. Which involved the squirrel climbing up the molding around the windows and then flying at his bald head while he was batting at it with a broom.
I hope Chippy makes it out ok.
 

nerudite

Cyburbian
Messages
6,544
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30
Supposedly we have a porcupine that likes to try to build a little home under our deck every year (or so says the current owners). I'm hoping he won't try to do it this fall, because I'd have no idea what to do.
 

donk

Cyburbian
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6,970
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30
We had a ground hog get into the house when I was a kid. It ran up the stairs to hide under the old claw foot bath tub. Here is where it gets funny. It took about an hour of coaxing and pushing it with a broom to get it out of the house. It started to run for the field, it made it about 30 feet when the dog caught it, shook it and started eating it, right on the front lawn.

My worst porcupine experience was having to dequill our old bloodhound, Rose. Here ears were pierced and trying to get them out of her jowls was hell.

My favourite porcupine experience was night riding in the woods. We are cruising along with the lights on the bikes and see this thing glowing in a tree, a friend throws a rock at it and knocked it out of the tree.The thing was stunned and looked up at us with its pink eyes. It turned out to be an albino porcupine.

Don't worry about porcs, just whap it with a shovel and be done with it. They are so slow, and blind that they are easy to hunt. If you let it stay, get ready to have to replace tool handles annually, they love salty wood.
 

Cardinal

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34
nerudite said:
Supposedly we have a porcupine that likes to try to build a little home under our deck every year (or so says the current owners). I'm hoping he won't try to do it this fall, because I'd have no idea what to do.
Porcupine killing would be what?

At Glacier National Park, at the end of some of the popular trails (like Grinnell Glacier) there are pit toilets. Inside there is a warning about porcupines that like to get in. Be careful where you sit, and no, that is not toilet paper.

I am not sure I would worry about them under the porch unless they were damaging things. Porcupines would help to keep away the little rodents.
 
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Seabishop said:
My dad said that when he was young he was taking a bath and he noticed a mouse swimming up to a part of the body where you wouldn't want a mouse to bite you. He jumped out of the tub and killed it with a plunger turning the water red.
That makes the time a lizard swimming in the same area while my mom was taking a bath pale in comparison..........
 

tsc

Cyburbian
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1,905
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23
Betty's last saga.... an excerpt I emailed to friend once...

Who wants to come for dinner????

I live live in the woods near a small lake where
critters abound….. Saturday night and 2 friends came over for dinner.. lobster,
corn-on-the-cob, and coleslaw.

The day of chaos started after I put a little organic fertilizer on our small
8 X 6 garden. I had used a manure/compost mixture before… but never bovine
manure. Well… Chris was wondering what the horrendous smell was…thinking the
cats had done something devious in the house. When she came outside and the
noxious odor intensified she immediately realized that it was the rich compost
I had applied to the garden. The bag I used was only 1.5 cubic feet… but… powerful.


Well.. I was hoping it would air out... and then our neighbor Rich from across
the street came strolling by. As it turns out… he came out to investigate,
because they had thought their septic field had erupted… filling their house
with septic odors. Rich’s house is about 600 feet from my garden. He wasn’t
upset,, just relieved that it wasn’t his septic that needed repair.

In 4 hours our friends would arrive for dinner… Chris insisted that we head
back to Home Depot and get some other mulch to cover the smelly compost, because
our house smelled like a pig farm in July. The mulch dulled the smell… but
it still lingered.

After our guests arrived,, Betty, the youngest cat, must have thought that the
boiling death chambers in the kitchen were not drama enough for the night.
I had never cooked lobster before… and it wasn’t as difficult as I thought it
would be. I just detached myself from the situation and tossed the little guys
in the pot. Within no time we were sitting at the table having our dinner on
our enclosed porch.. about a ½ hour before sunset, overlooking the lake. The
food was tasty,, and beers cold.

We were eating for about 2 minutes and I heard,, (which Chris is always amazed
because I am partially deaf),,, a squeaking.. and said,,, “Idgy the Cat must
be killing something…” (she had just nabbed a chipmunk about an hour ago and
left it on the lawn). I then heard it again.. and everyone else finally heard
it. But the squeak was just one little noise amongst all the other noises,
(birds, squirrels, geese, swans, dogs), we heard in the woods that surrounded
us.

As I went in the kitchen to grab another beer,,, Betty the Cat, emerged from
the basement stairs unveiling the source of the “squeaking”.

“Betty has a baby mouse… “ screamed Chris repeatedly. “Hurry,, Hurry….”


I was in the kitchen so I grabbed a set of gloves,,, and rushed to the scene
of the crime. Betty managed to bat the little guy one more time before I scooped
him up. He was scared but full of life squirming to get outta my hands.

“Get a box”.. I yelled a Chris who was hysterical with concern for the health
of the little mouse.. and she went into the kitchen and grabbed the empty 12-pack
Corona box.

He seemed healthy enough… so .. I threw out my gloves.. washed my hands.. and
went back to dinner. I think I had just gotten to the tail of my lobster… and
we heard another squeak, squeak, squeak. We had left the box in the kitchen,,
and we thought the cats might have been tormenting him. Chris went to investigate..
and within in moments,, she was screaming.. “Betty has the mouse!!!” I got
up.. and Chris was yelling at me to hurry.. but I wasn’t about to pick him up
without my gloves on.

Chris had Betty pinned on the floor. I knelt down.. and looked at Betty’s face..
“Chris,, where’s the mouse?” I said a little puzzled…

“The mouse is pinned under Betty’s stomach” Chris replied.

“Well lift up the cat,,Chris,, You probably smushing it….” Good think Betty
is a little pudgy,, so her tummy must have just molded around the little guy.


As she picked Betty up,, I grabbed the mouse who was paralyzed for a moment
with the fear from being trapped under the cat. The mouse probably thought
it was inside Betty’s stomach rather than under it. We opened the Corona Box…
to put the mouse back,, and realized we now had two mice…. two lively little
mice.

We sat back down to continue our dinner. This time Chris put the box outside
on the porch… so we could keep an eye on it without thinking that our guests
might not want to eat in the company of mice.

“Oh, does the box of mice bother anyone? Chris asked our guest.. who politely
retorted that they didn’t mind.

Pat then asked, “What are you guys going to do with the mice?? They need food
and water or they will die”

“I think they will be okay until after dinner. .. I was trying to put it out
of my mind until after dinner and didn’t think the mice would suffer any consequences
until then.

I finally remembered that two days ago.. a dead mouse was left on the porch..
and we deducted that that must have been the mother.. and now Betty was getting
the babies. Then the conversation went on… “so what are you going to name them…..”
and before we knew it… . squeak,, squeakkk…. Betty had another…… and then we
had three.

The third mouse did get hurt.. his legs were damaged and he didn’t make it through
the night. Two days later… Frick and Frack are living in Corona Box… eating
Cheerios, fruit and veggies. We will release them soon… outside… so they can
continue to propagate and the viscous circle will continue…cats bring ‘em back,,,
we nurse them to health…..

To top off the evening.. Jordan,, the eighty pound hound, who always wants to
be the center of attention and not to be outdone, put on a display of highly
audible bursts of flatulence.

So….who wants to come for dinner????
 

Zoning Goddess

Cyburbian
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(

So….who wants to come for dinner???? [/B]


Our worst dinner party story pales in comparison. The parents' 25th anniversary, 40 or 50 elegantly dressed guests having cocktails on the glassed in porch. And my Irish setter, 50 feet away, vigorously humping the canoe, over and over. Mom was not amused.
 

dms

Messages
14
Points
1
Chippy all the Way !!

My money goes toward the chipmunk !!! He'll have a blast in the laundry and the cat will get bored.
 

PlannerGirl

Cyburbian Plus
Messages
6,377
Points
29
oh my god got my morning giggles in!

Lets see Ive had those horrid puffy tail RATS living in the walls of one of my last apartments. The dogs could hear the damn evil things and would go ape at all hours trying to figure out WHARE they were. Called the property manager and they came out one day while we were at work and left a note that the ...things had been taken care of.

A few days (this is summer) the place started to smell...in no small way.

They had put poision out and killed them-in the walls!. There was no way to get to the dead bodies that were now rotting in 95 degree heat.

We moved as fast as we could, to this day I wonder if they got anyone to take the place till winter.
 

tsc

Cyburbian
Messages
1,905
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23
Ding-dong the Chipmunks dead....at least A chipmunk is dead..... found one in the house today....
 

Duke Of Dystopia

Cyburbian
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24
PlannerGirl said:
A few days (this is summer) the place started to smell...in no small way.
ROTHFLMAO!

I work in an annex place that has had all maner of annimals loose or invading the space. It is a great space really. Even the animal intrusions are of great fun and interest. The only thing that ever got to me was the "Flesh Fly" infestation caused when they killed some mice with poison but never recovered the dead bodies. A number of self acquired fly swaters and 3 weeks and there were no troubles any more! :)
 
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