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How hot is it

DA Monkey

Cyburbian
Messages
84
Points
4
Whilst complaining about the weather and sitting in front of an open refrigerator as well as having an industrial size fan turned to warp speed, I have been busy trying to get some work done on my neolithlic laptop PC. A friend emailed me this joke and I thought I might share it. Its an oldie but a goodie and it certainly "captures the moment" in my State right now.

You know you're in Queensland when:-

a.. The best parking space is determined by shade instead of distance.

b.. Hot water comes out of both taps.

c.. You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding
iron.

d.. The temperature drops below 35c and you feel a little chilly.

e.. You discover that in February it only takes two fingers to steer
your car.

f.. You discover that you can get sunburn through your car window.

g.. You develop a fear of metal car door handles.

h.. You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30am.

i.. Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and
end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

j.. You realise that asphalt has a liquid state.

k.. Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to prevent them
from laying hard-boiled eggs.

l.. The cows are giving evaporated milk.

m.. The trees are whistling for the dogs.

n. while walking back barefoot to your car from the beach, you do a
tightrope act on the white lines in the car park.

o. You catch a cold from having the aircon full blast while you sleep
during the night. (and cop a $1000 buck fine)

p. You pray that your train/bus will have air-conditioning, and if it
doesn't, waiting an extra 15 minutes for one is worth it.


The thermometer at my desk reads 108F and its still going up. :cool:

Still if the english can drink warm beer, I suppose I can manage one or two.
 

DA Monkey

Cyburbian
Messages
84
Points
4
JNL said:
Funny :) but it makes me miss the place :(
I know what you mean, I moved away for some years and missed the place heaps, eventually I couldn't stand the cold and returned to home. Not interested in leaving again :-}
 

SkeLeton

Cyburbian
Messages
4,853
Points
26
Ugh... I couldn't stand living there... I just can't stand heat... if it goes above 35ºC I instantly combust.
I can't stand cold either... :p So I can only live in templated climates...
 

Dan

Dear Leader
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
18,705
Points
69
This has been floating around the 'Net for a long time. Temperatres converted to celsius for those living in civilized areas.

10 C -- Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Buffalo sunbathe.

5 C -- Italian cars won't start. People in Buffalo drive with the windows down.

0° C -- Distilled water freezes. Buffalo water gets thicker.

-5° C -- New York landlords finally turn on the heat. People in Buffalo plant gardens.

-10° C -- Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats. People in Buffalo throw on a T-shirt.

-15° C -- Californians begin to evacuate the state. People in Buffalo go swimming.

-20° C -- New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Buffalo have the last cookout before it gets cold.

-25° C -- People in Miami cease to exist. People in Buffalo lick flagpoles.

-30° C -- Californians fly away to Mexico. Buffalonians button the top button.

-38° C -- Mercury freezes. People in Buffalo throw on a light jacket.

-50° C -- Hollywood disintegrates. People in Buffalo rent videos.

- 60° C -- Mt. St. Helens freezes. Buffalo Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.

- 80° C -- Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic. Buffalo Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.

- 100° C -- Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. People in Buffalo pull down their ear flaps.

-114° C -- Ethyl alcohol freezes. People in Buffalo get frustrated when they can't thaw their kegs of Genny.

-200° C -- Microbial life start to disappear. Buffalo cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

-250° C -- Hell freezes over. Buffalo wins the Stanley Cup.

-265° C -- Suprerconductivity. Public schools declare a snow day.

-269° C -- Helium becomes a liquid. Catholic schools declare a snow day.

-273° C -- Absolute zero: all atomic motion stops. Buffalonians start saying "Cold 'nuff for youse der?"
 

JNA

Cyburbian Plus
Messages
25,801
Points
61
At this time (10:19pm) it is 55 F nice to open windows.
Not much of a change (6:15am) it is 54 F
 
Last edited:

DA Monkey

Cyburbian
Messages
84
Points
4
I cant believe it.

Its getting hotter down here.

I just watched a gecko crawl into my fridge to escape the heat.

However, there are advantages, Ive roasted a chook in my car for dinner tonite and I have a 9m bowl of hot soup in the backyard (aka swimming pool).
 
Messages
7,649
Points
29
The descriptions of Queensland reminded me of growing up in Georgia. I have also lived in the Mojave Desert in Southern California, just South of Death Valley. The phrase "It's not the heat, it's the humidity." gained real meaning for me since I preferred that even hotter but very arid climate to the semi-tropical one I grew up in.

However, this whole thread reminds me of the college paper "proving" whether Hell is exothermic or endothermic which circulates the internet and has ended up in my mailbox on two or three occasions. Does anyone know it? Do you have it? If so, please post it and I will, for the nonce, exercise extreme self-discipline and NOT ruin the punch line. o:) If no one can come up with a copy, I will be happy to cut to the chase and divulge the punchline. :)
 

Dan

Dear Leader
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
18,705
Points
69
Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic? A Lesson in Thermodynamics

A thermodynamics professor wrote a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question: Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with a proof.

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First we must postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ration of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant.

1. So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Betsy Neuhoff during Freshman year, that "it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then 2 cannot be true, and hell is exothermic.

The student got the only A.


Author: unknown
 

michaelskis

Cyburbian
Messages
20,174
Points
51
When you see the back clock read –40 for both F and C, and people are still out doing there business, you know your in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula!

Right now in the Kalamazoo area, we are in what I would think is a crazy heat wave… it has been above freezing point for over 24 hours now! And last night, even though one the courses started to get bare, it was a great time, and my team one 1st place in our division!!!
 

Floridays

Cyburbian
Messages
769
Points
21
Right now it's about 10-15 degrees warmer than it was yesterday...should make the touristas happy!
 

Seabishop

Cyburbian
Messages
3,838
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25
Dan said:
This has been floating around the 'Net for a long time. Temperatres converted to celsius for those living in civilized areas...
[/i]
I saw this joke written for "New Englanders" and I thought no way, New Englanders can't compete with places like Buffalo, Minnesota, Quebec etc - especially since most New Englanders are in the southern half.
 

ludes98

Cyburbian
Messages
1,264
Points
22
DA Monkey said:
j.. You realise that asphalt has a liquid state.
This is one of those things I hate when is is 115F here. Asphalt roads with ruts in them.
 

ilikefish0

Cyburbian
Messages
204
Points
9
ludes98 said:
This is one of those things I hate when is is 115F here. Asphalt roads with ruts in them.
Yeah--arizona's a crazy place. Tuesday, it was 40F at 6:30 am. By 5:30 pm, it was 80F. A 40 degree swing in 11 hours! The gods must be crazy! (On the plus side, my chips actually get crispier when I forget to close them--silly dry heat)
 

ludes98

Cyburbian
Messages
1,264
Points
22
ilikefish0 said:
Yeah--arizona's a crazy place. Tuesday, it was 40F at 6:30 am. By 5:30 pm, it was 80F. A 40 degree swing in 11 hours! The gods must be crazy! (On the plus side, my chips actually get crispier when I forget to close them--silly dry heat)
I love the heat swing. Same thing in summer, except no one in Phoenix metro gets to experience it with the heat island effect. Nothing like 100F degree concrete at midnight. ;)
 
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7,649
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ludes98 said:
I love the heat swing. Same thing in summer, except no one in Phoenix metro gets to experience it with the heat island effect. Nothing like 100F degree concrete at midnight. ;)
ROTFL -- I used to go for my 6 mile walk (er, would that be a hike? with a camel full of water) after dark in the Mojave, in part so the temp would drop down to a nice, cool 100 or 99 or even 98!
 

Doitnow

Cyburbian
Messages
496
Points
16
Summers Come

e.. You discover that in February it only takes two fingers to steer
It happened to me today fore noon.
As I handed the parking attendant some coins from my dashboard I couldnt hold them for a few seconds as they were terribly hot.
The moment I handed them over onto the attendants palm, He jumped!!.
So I dunno if you keep loose cash( in coins) on the dashboard. But if you do then you know what I mean.( in peak summer when it reaches 44c even an air conditioner doesnt help really where I live)
 
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