How to meet people

[michaelskis]

One thing that I have noticed after the move, and I thought I would bring it up here.

It is so much easier to meet people here in the Mid West than it was in PA. People here seem more willing to open up and talk.

BUT, I *now being single and all* have a quest to meet new people.

What would your list of do's and don't in the world of meeting new people? What would your conversation topics include? What tips would you former bachelors have for a young single guy, looking to make friends, and maybe more? And what tips would you players have for … well… we don’t need to explain why?

Keep in mind, I have not found another guy out here who could be a wing man for me, so much of this is me going out on a limb and going to bars, and other places alone. But I have no fear of talking to people!

Today, I am going to go look at a new gym that I am thinking about joining to see if they have a good weight room, and steam room and sauna, pool, and of course many people about my age.

But I would still like to hear everyone else’s ideas!

 

[el Guapo]

Live your life true to the things you like to do and be open to new experiences. Don't ever fake it. Never take up a hobby or join a group just to meet someone.


















Also consider high school chicks.

 

[Chet]

Internet hook ups!

 

[Big Easy King]

Ask a female co-worker to hook you up with one of her nice or "bad" girlfriends (whomever floats your boat). However, make sure that you're being hooked up with a female!!! ;-)

 

[SkeLeton]

Wait a minute... are you saying that there are 'other people'? You guys are not a figment of my imagination? Friggin unbelievable

Meeting people.. that's tough.. I can't help ya there... just be yourself.. although that ain't helping much in my case

Originally posted by The Clown formely know as Chet:
Internet hook ups!

Sure.. if you want to end hooked up with a 58 year old pedofile that you could swear was a 19 year old girl. yuck... :-c

 

[JNL]

Well obviously the place you go will influence the sort of people you will meet. Just be friendly and take up any invitations to social gatherings. I think most of my closest friends now are friends of people I lived with or worked with when I moved to the area.

 

[Dan]

I'm going to be moving to a new city (Cleveland) in a few weeks.

I'm social, but shy, so I tend to have a difficult time meeting people.

Because I have dogs, I'm forced into a commute from Hell; nobody within a half hour of where I work will rent to me, Bailey and Guinness. I'll probably end up in Cleveland Heights or a neighborhood near downtown Cleveland (Ohio City, Tremont), which are more urban and social than the far eastern 'burbs.

There's match.com if you're looking to date. I've had mixed results with speed dating.

Cleveland feels more like home, so I'm more inclined to feel rooted, and establish closer ties to the community. Volunteer organizations, church, neighborhood groups, that sort of thing ... I want to get involved.

 

[Rem]

Most of my long term friends other than those I got thrown in with (school, Uni, work) derive from sporting teams or clubs. I think it is consistent with what eG said about pursuing things you are genuinely interested in. Me its sport and with a common bond participating in, coaching or simply talking sport helps a lot. As with Dan I am quite shy and being part of a group with a common focus helps break some ice.

I note the "now single" reference. Did I miss the gory details of the disengagement or haven't you shared yet?

 

[Chet]

I'll probably end up in Cleveland Heights or a neighborhood near downtown Cleveland (Ohio City, Tremont), which are more urban and social than the far eastern 'burbs.

Yeah, I figure Lakewood is not your lifestyle. LOL HEY - You could be roommates with mugbub!

 

[Queen B]

I brought up this sort of topic last year only not specific to finding a partner. I brought my partner with me to the new city so we were both without friends.
It has almost been a year now and I can say it is getting better but still don't feel like we have friends. We know people. But would love somebody to just hang with. King B has started volunteering but you wouldn't believe how hard that was to find. I bet we offered our help to literally 15 different groups or organizations before this one took him up on it.
As for work, they just don't socialize with others from work, I have tried and tried. I finally got an outside invite this last weekend.
We were used to going out Friday after work to a local pub and we have finally gotten in with a group of his co workers, that feels pretty good but again that is as far as it goes.
I feel for ya man!
The winter time was the lonliest, once it warmed up we got out more.
It is hard work cause you just have to keep putting yourself out there and going that extra distance to introduce yourself. King B plays a great game of pool and joined the pool league, too. I think he has done much better than I, but he felt a stronger need to fill his time. I enjoy just spending time at home, he has to have things to do.
Give it time, before you know it, you will have people again

 

[Budgie]

Social Lubricants

I employ alcohol, nametags and a Segway. With these three things people tend to approach and talk to you alot.

 

[Rumpy Tunanator]

Just start talking to someone and if you lucky they'll talk back, if the don't then they might just think your crazy. Just move on. -Here's a line that never seems to fail, "Do you like drinking in the park?" If they do buy them a beer and head for the nearest park bench (also works well for making friends with the homeless).

 

[Cardinal]

Internet hook ups!

Gotta say they work pretty good. I've met a few women I've dated once or twice, and then a couple I've dated for a while. Think about it. How could any woman pass on a chance with a guy this perfect:

http://www.match.com/profile/showpr...45-301FDF1523E3&trackingid=0&theme=211&lid=21

I tried the more traditional personals for a while and did well with them. There are also a couple singles organizations, but I have found that the people there are often a bit shallow and too desperate.

Other than that, I have met a couple women through an outdoor club, but that has been more important for just meeting people I think of as friends. Work and professional organizations have helped some, but most of the people I meet there are considerably older. I'm catching up, though. Dogs are chick magnets. Take one to a pedestrian mall like State Street in Madison, or to a dog park, and the women will be all over it. (OK, so at least the dog gets some heavy petting.)

I've never had much luck with bars, but my housemate makes them a regular Friday and Saturday thing. Of course, he's looking for something else.

 

[The Irish One]

You have got to be true to yourself and don't try so hard. Seriously, after a while things will happen when you stop thinking about it, so get out there and be yourself. All I can say is if you wan't to hook up and you're just a regular dork like 98% of the population -be 100% true to what you have fun doing or what you are passionate about and things that make you feel important. The girl you're looking for will be doing the same thing.

WARNING: Girls can smell a fake player from a mile away, so unless girls always approach you -drop any player bullshit.

If you want a good looking girl and you are a dork, just be yourself -If she's cool she will really like that you are interested, even if you have a less than "cool" personality.

It will happen, don't sweat it.

I only give this advice from experience.

 

[JNL]

How could any woman pass on a chance with a guy this perfect:

It's beyond me! ;-)

 

[H]

As a young and fairly recently married (w/o kids) new arrival to a new and strange city, I have met people just within the urban condo complex that my wife and I live in. We have BBQ’s etc. And their friends lead to more people, etc… If you live somewhere amongst people with common age and cohort you will most likely meet people you want to socialize with. If you live in the ‘burbs with an acre lot, you probably wont. The social urban fabric is still alive; find it. I have also met people with common interests of live music in the local venues. There are certain “scenes” that the same people frequent and you get to know them. That scene could be an art class, music hall, church and the other examples you gave, etc.. But don’t frequent a phony scene you don’t really like just to meet people, because you will end up meeting a bunch of people you don’t really like.

 

[Wannaplan?]

BUT, I *now being single and all* have a quest to meet new people.

You like to ski?

My girlfriend's sister is moving back home from Florida to Michigan in November. We all love to downhill ski. Maybe we should have a Michigan Planner Get-Together up at Crystal Mtn or Shanty Creek sometime after the holidays?

 

[michaelskis]

I note the "now single" reference. Did I miss the gory details of the disengagement or haven't you shared yet?

Well I was not engaged, but I realized that things where only going to get worse with her. She did not like the Portage, because she knew how much I loved the area, my new job, and the mid west.

So, I am single, and this time, I am not going to get into a serious thing unless there is a chance for something.

 

[OhioPlanner]

When I moved to the midwest I looked to find out if we had an alumni association for my university. They did and so I go watch football games at bars, go to picnics, etc. This was a very fast way to meet new people. Plus you automatically have something in common.

 

[NHPlanner]

Internet hook ups!

Umm....no....don't go that route.....what seems great can turn to shit in a second....

 

[Repo Man]

I guess I would recommend joing some type of group that you are interested in or take a class at a local community college for something you are interested in. You'd probably meet some people who share similar interests.

If there is a sports team you follow, go to the local sports bar for their games. You will usually find other fans of that team there. A friend of mine is a Steeler fan stuck in Wisconsin. He has made a lot of good friends by just going to s sports bar to watch the games. If you don't have a team you follow, pretend to like the Packers. Most major cities in the US have "Packer Bars" that show all the games. We Cheeseheads are quite friendly.

I always thought that if I moved to another City, I would get a part time job at a bar. It seems like you could meet a ton of people (coworkers and customers).

 

[Planderella]

Do you belong to any organizations that may have chapters in your new area? That's an automatic way of meeting new people. Otherwise, I pretty much agree with what everyone else has said so far.

 

[martini]

I'm really a pretty socail, but shy person as well. I have no problem carrying a conversation, but starting one is another matter. Can't do it. I'd just go to places that cater to your interests. Skiing, Hiking, biking, climbing, ball sports, whatever turns your crank. You'll run into someone that may be compatible. Lisa and I might be doing the same thing here next summer(moving that is), and attempting to find new freinds along with having a new baby(now THATS a chick magnet, too bad I can't/won't do anything about it...)

OT: Repo Re: the new avatar. Whatta DUMBASS! His coworkers must HATE him now. In fact all of Chicago must hate this guy. I will repeat: Whatta dumbass!

 

[nerudite]

I used to enjoy the 'singles' outings with the Sierra Club when I was in Cali. You may want to check your local chapter(s) for various tours or events. If you like skiing, join a ski club... follow your interests and you'll meet someone else with similar interests.

And uh, the Internet hook up thing has worked for me (more than once)... so don't totally knock it. You, too, may end up in Canada! Joking, joking!

 

[Duke Of Dystopia]

Stay away from astrological sign discussions! If you are a Scorpio, you will have noticed how they scream and bolt in terror at the mere mention of the fact!

 

[Downtown]

Get involved in the local planning chapter. Most sponsor various luncheons or conferences that help you to meet people, and you'll automatically have something in common.

A cautionary note about the gym - a lot of women (ok - me at least) tend to feel very self concious at the gym. What you may think is coming off as friendly and interested, in that specific setting, may be interpreted as skeevy and leering. which is too bad, because really, if a girl is still kind of cute after an hour on the treadmill, once she cleans up, she's pretty likely to be a hottie.

I also really liked ohio's comment about the alumni association. good one!

 

[Mastiff]

I go sit on a bench at the nearby college and proposition the co-eds as they walk by... Once in awhile you get lucky through sheer volume.

And hey, I've only been arrested twice!

 

[Jeff]

Get involved in the local planning chapter. Most sponsor various luncheons or conferences that help you to meet people, and you'll automatically have something in common.

Dork....

What about work hookups? Any hotties in there?

Just do whatever it is you do, and things always tend to lead their course.

 

[Downtown]

Dork....

What about work hookups? Any hotties in there?

Shuttie.

Some of my best hookups have been at APA/AAG (geography) conferences. Great place to meet people.

 

[Tranplanner]

Hey Downtown - I heard Mike D. meet his wife through a leg-shaving support group...

 

[Chet]

Some of my best hookups have been at APA/AAG (geography) conferences. Great place to meet people.

That worked pretty well for me at the national APA new york conference. The great thing about a CF, is if you catch em at the opening reception, you can bag 'em all week.

 

[Downtown]

Hey Downtown - I heard Mike D. meet his wife through a leg-shaving support group...

Hee! Better than than a back shaving support group.

 

[H]

I go sit on a bench at the nearby college and proposition the co-eds as they walk by... Once in awhile you get lucky through sheer volume.

And hey, I've only been arrested twice!

Man, I had to bite my lip from laughing to loud. Everyone here started looking at me.

Too funny. :-D

 

[PlannerByDay]

Get involved in the local planning chapter. Most sponsor various luncheons or conferences that help you to meet people, and you'll automatically have something in common.

Being that I'm a planner in michaelskis area I can let you know in advance that it is kinda a waste of time if your looking for a female "friend" at the local meetings, they are attended by mostly guys.

But, every once and a while some of the female "wantta be planners" (ie WMU students in planning) attend the meeting and maybe, just maybe you could hook up with one of them.

 

[pete-rock]

Know anyone with any babies you could sit? Nothing attracts the hotties like pushing a stroller with a beautiful baby -- plus you show off your "sensitive" side!

 

[Dan]

Think about it. How could any woman pass on a chance with a guy this perfect:

http://www.match.com/profile/showpr...45-301FDF1523E3&trackingid=0&theme=211&lid=21

Linky no worky.

For proper match.com profile links, you have to "e-mail this link to a friend," that friend being yourself. Take the link that arrives in the e-mail, and post that.

What about work hookups? Any hotties in there?

I have a policy NEVER to date women who were born and/or raised in Michigan. For some reason, I always hit it off spectacularly well with them, only to find myself shortly thereafter rejected in the most painful manner possible. We're talking about soulmate-quality women ripping out my still-beating heart from my chest, showing it to me in my last seconds of consciousness, and then taking a bite out of it before throwing it to the ground and stomping on it.

 

[Budgie]

Here's one way.

www.hellomynameisscott.com

 

[Cardinal]

Linky no worky.

For proper match.com profile links, you have to "e-mail this link to a friend," that friend being yourself. Take the link that arrives in the e-mail, and post that.

Like this?

http://www.match.com/profile/showprofile.aspx?TP=T&uid=/p7wMpqHmWvNygyfrb6fJA==&handle=trailtrekker

P.S. Any advice from the Ladies of Cyburbia to help me improve my scoring would be greatly appreciated.

 

[martini]

Hell, I'd date you! but then again, I'm not female. soooo....

 

[The Irish One]

You should move to California and get yourself a nice traditional Mexican wife -you'll be very happy.

 

[SkeLeton]

Hell, I'd date you! but then again, I'm not female. soooo....

This quote will go on The Throbbing Brain of Cyburbia as "When Martini came out of the closet" :-D

 

[martini]

This quote will go on The Throbbing Brain of Cyburbia as "When Martini came out of the closet" :-D

okok, lemme back pedal there and say this:

sooooo I gues I won't!

Not that there's anything wrong with that(sorry gays).

 

[Cardinal]

okok, lemme back pedal there and say this:

sooooo I gues I won't!

Not that there's anything wrong with that(sorry gays).

Want to reconsider? I could always introduce you to my housemate. He likes the folks at Cyburbia (especially Prudence).

 

[Jeff]

Shuttie.

Some of my best hookups have been at APA/AAG (geography) conferences. Great place to meet people.

Yup....

Just as I suspected....still salty that you missed your chance that weekend I was at Clemson.

 

[michaelskis]

Thank you for all the help. I think that I am going to try many of the things that you had suggested. I will also note, that for the time being, I am looking for friends. I guy can not just get by with a hottie to go home with. He needs buddys that will sit there and help him plan pranks on his co-workers, drink beer and yell at the TV because some guy was stupid enough to reach out and try to catch a foul ball, and change the whole swing of the game, and to bail you out of Jail.

So, for me it would be a mix...

Josh, you mentioned hottie WMU planning students??? Are there any in the Masters Program? Do they even have a masters in planning?

 

[Richmond Jake]

I guy can not just get by with a hottie to go home with.

I accept this challange.

 

[Cardinal]

Josh, you mentioned hottie WMU planning students??? Are there any in the Masters Program? Do they even have a masters in planning?

Don't forget geography, and you might even try some of the related fields like GIS. It doesn't hurt to volunteer to speak to a class or lead a field trip every once in a while.

 

[Greenescapist]

I would also suggest the club appoach. Not dance clubs, but some club that hits on one of your interests - skiing, outdoors, cycling, soccer, etc. I just moved to the Midwest, too, and some of my friends have been meeting other guys though ultimate frisbee, running groups and volunteer things.

I have to admit that moving to a new area can be tough and lonely at first. Since I'm in school, I kinda expected that it would be really easy to make friends. I have met a lot of great people, but sometimes I only see them once or twice a week for class. So, I've joined a few organizations - but it take a little time. You're right though, people in the Midwest seem much friendlier than East Coasters. Good luck!

 

[SW MI Planner]

Know anyone with any babies you could sit? Nothing attracts the hotties like pushing a stroller with a beautiful baby -- plus you show off your "sensitive" side!

You can babysit when I come up to Kzoo for the day shopping

And, yah, I believe Western does have a Masters Planning/Community Development program.

 

[PlannerByDay]

Josh, you mentioned hottie WMU planning students??? Are there any in the Masters Program? Do they even have a masters in planning?

Yes WMU has a Masters Program is falls under the Geog Dept. which includes programs like Travel and Tourism and GIS.