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I am having women troubles, I could use some help from the ladies here... (and guys)

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michaelskis

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Ok ladies.... and guys too I guess. I need help with something. The girl that I am taking out on Saturday, I am a little worried about a few things. She was going to cook me dinner tonight, and then we where going to go out with my sister, but she called me this afternoon and said that she was not feeling all that well, and just felt like staying home. So, when I thought that it would be nice if I brought her flowers to cheer her up. Well she was not there, so I left them with her room mate. She called me a few hours later when she got home, and thanked me for the flowers. She had mentioned that she went over to her parents for a while. We started talking about what we where looking for, and she said that she might still have feelings for her ex, but likes me too...

I really like this girl, and I am so willing to fight for this, if you think that it is worth it.

I know that many of you do not know me all that well... and I don’t think that any of you know her, but I guess I am looking for advice... should I back off, and just watch her get back with her ex, or for once in many years, step up, and not let life walk all over me.
 

JNL

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Well she has to make her own mind up. I think you could tell her how you feel, then back off and give her some space. For your own self esteem it's not good to hang around while she's unsure who she wants to be with. Pressuring her might scare her off. Hope it works out for the best :)
 

Zoning Goddess

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Tough situation, michaelskis. She has told you how she feels and you really have to let her make the decision. You did a really sweet thing by taking flowers (which any woman with half a brain will appreciate) but she was not home. Do not pressure her. Give her a couple of calls to chat and gauge her reaction and if it seems positive, try to set another date. If that doesn't work out, it may be time to move on.
 
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You know, I don't know hardly anything about you and I certainly don't know her. But, you indicated things were kind of at a "turning point" and you want to "sweep her off her feet". Silly boy: do you think you are the only one aware of this significant threshold? She never mentioned the feelings for her ex before because it wasn't relevant: you weren't close or serious. Now she senses you want to get close and serious and she feels guilty and feels like she would be lying to you if she let you sweep her off her feet without mentioning The Dirt. Besides, if you don't want her "warts and all" you don't really want her, so she is pointing out the warts. So, since she has her own share of emotional baggage (who doesn't?), she is having the obligatory Identity Crisis that everyone has at such turning points in their lives when they know that the next decision they make will Matter and they are trying to Make The Right One. (Like their entire bleeping future Depends Upon It.)

I say: Sweep her off her feet for valentines and tell her you don't care about her ambivalence because if it is love (between you and her), she will get over him. But no pressure: she doesn't need to decide anything at all beyond this weekend. You would consider it a Privilege to be graced by her company for this special day and will spend the rest of your life regretting it if you stupidly did not seize the moment and tell her how you felt, and let the chips fall where they may.

She feels essentially "unlovable" because the ex walked all over her. Are you going to help her ex "prove" she doesn't deserve anything better other than crawling back to him and letting him continue to wipe his boots on her? Or are you going to give her a new vision of herself -- the one you have told a few thousand strangers in cyberspace (that you feel all happy around her, etc) but haven't had the guts to tell the only person who really needs to know: her?

just my 2 cents worth.
 

Dan

Dear Leader
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michaelskis said:
She had mentioned that she went over to her parents for a while. We started talking about what we where looking for, and she said that she might still have feelings for her ex, but likes me too... .
You're not going to like what I'm going to say, Mike, but I'll say it nonetheless.

Run ... don't walk, but run away. Let her go. Just forget she ever existed.

I can't tell you the number of times I've fallen for a woman, only to have the issue of the ex-boyfriend come up. I think that most of the time, I think the ex-boyfriend excuse is used as a way for a woman to avoid an unpleasant situation, and let you down gently. The few times she might really be thinking about the ex, forget it. He's got the advantage of nostalga, with months if not years of memories. If she really liked you, the ex-boyfriend wouldn't be an issue.

I've been burned so many times by women running back to ex-boyfriends, or so they say. My friends kid about it; they tell their heartbroken female friends to go out with me, because inevitably the ex-boyfriend will pop back into their lives after a date or two. I'm very jaded, and seriously a year or so away from doing the overseas thing.

It's gonna' be tough to say no to her so close to Valentines Day, but you must. You can't let women play you for the fool, and do this to you. Please ... don't do anything that would resemble begging for her love. It just makes you look more pathetic, and less of a man. Just don't..
 

Cardinal

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I tend to trust women's input in these situations, and I think JNL and ZG make a lot of sense. You don't need to quit just yet. Dan may be right, but maybe she is just questioning whether to go forward or back right now. You have a risk in letting her know how you feel, but if you think it is worth risking being hurt, then do it. Tell her you'd like to explore getting closer to her, that you understand that she needs to make a decision, and you won't pressure her. If you are unsure that you are willing to risk the rejection, then perhaps Dan is right.

Good luck to you, Mike.
 

jordanb

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Heh. I used to think that asking girls about girls was a good idea, until I realized that they don't have a ****ing clue what's going through other girl's heads ether. Ask three girls and you'll get fifteen theories.

I agree with Dan. I know how love can be, but you have to look at it objectivly. She's already screwed with you once. That's as many times as I'll let a girl screw with me. I don't play games with them and if they can't return the favor, they're gone. There are way too many girls in this city for me to waste my time on a girl like that.

On the other hand. I'm 21 and have never had an even remotely serious relationship yet, B-) so YMMV.
 

biscuit

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Sorry to hear about your troubles in love Mike. The rest of us that are in relationships would like nothing more than to see the rest of you as misera... er, I mean Happy as we are.;-)

All kidding aside, it seems to me that at very least this girl is giving you an indication that you need to back off a little bit. Granted I don't know either you or her, or her situation with her ex, but it's clear from what you've been saying that she needs some space. You said that you've only known her for a short while and that you really want to sweep her off of her feet and make a go at a relationship. Well, chances are that it all may have been happening a little too fast for her, especially if she has just recently gotten out of a relationship.

So I don't know if she really does have feelings for her ex or if it's an excuse (one which I have used to get away from girls who came on too strong) doesn't really matter. My advise would be to give her some room but don't give up on her totally. Become good friends with and continue hanging out without giving any dating pressure. That can and often does lead to romance in the end.

Good luck!
 

Floridays

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Trust me on this one (because I've been guilty of it before!)...if she is "getting over" her ex, then you would be put in the position of a "safety net." Don't let that happen. Allow her time to get back on her feet, restore her self confidence, and become herself again. Otherwise, you don't really know what you're getting.
The flowers were really sweet, and if you choose, you can be there for her in a friendship capacity. But embarking on a romantic relationship right now would be a disaster.
 

donk

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My advice is that that what you described to do(VD) was over the top. Maybe this is her way of telling you to cool it a bit and to take things slower. If so, take it that way, and chill. No need to be clingy and smothering.

Just the 2 cents from one of the losers at love clube and a person who has been told he needs to be more romantic and affectionate. icon11.gif
 

michaelskis

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Part of me does not want to be passive and just allow this guy to step back in the picture. That and I think that there is still a good chance of something happening due to she did say that she realy likes me. But on the other hand I am sick of the games that some women play, and if she dropps everything for this guy right now, I agree that she might have some issues to work out with him.

I am going to take her out for something simple on Saturday, and let her know that I am still interested in the possiblity of something between her and I and see how that goes. If she shows serious intrest in me, then we will see what happens.

*At least I found out that I still have a romantic side, but it is kind of sucky that it had to happen like this.
 

Queen B

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Valentine's week is a tough call in a new relationship, there is no way to guess what the right thing to do is. It sounds like she needed to go home and regroup. It sounds like the parents must not be over bearing one way or the other but rather encouraged her to think about it. If you decide to back off or scale down on your Valentine's plans and the realtionship does continue be sure to let her know what you had planned and that by her giving you mix messages, this is what she missed.
 

Repo Man

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A lot of times an ex will become re-intersted in someone if they see that another person has entered the picture. I have been on both sides of this. If a guy breaks up with a girl and she hasn't fully moved on, the guy can act like an ass and the woman will usually put up with it just in case he decides to get back together with her (This works both ways...women can act like an ass and the guy will put up with it too). Anyhow when a new guy (michalskis in this case) enters the picture, the ex will suddenly become nice and start talking about getting back together (I have been guilty of this) becase: a) the ex wants to sabatoge the new relationship or b) the ex suddenly feels that they will lose the girlfriend completely, or c) a combination of both. So my guess is that this ex suddenly became appealing to this woman again because he started worrying about her moving on and decided to be nicer, more romantic, nostalgic, etc
 

Duke Of Dystopia

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michaelskis said:
...........We started talking about what we where looking for, and she said that she might still have feelings for her ex, but likes me too...
......QUOTE]


RUN, RUN LIKE HELL AND DON'T LOOK BACK!

She is confused and will only drag you down into confusion with her. Nothing good can come from this. Find a nice single female who is not still emotionally attached to someone else. If she is not over him, she likely jumps from one male SO to another. just my 2 cents. :)
 

Doitnow

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I think that confusion arises as we know not the ways of the mind.
We are not really able to express what we really feel and what we really want.

If you are assuming that your opposite is mature enough to drop her 'baggage' the moment she knew that you are interested, then this situation would not have arisen at all.
Means that she does need some time, reassurance, space and all.

Its upto you to invest/risk your time, effort and feelings.
Whatever you do, do it without guilt and do it truly.
Do express your feelings clearly (if you are sure). At least this way one party has his/her side clear and then only the other party has to do the thinking.

Once you do that and still if your friend takes time and dilly dallies then really you may have to try the last 'sweep off the feet step'.
After that do not feel bad at all. I hope I am getting through.

Do express your self clearly about what you fell about her and her past too.
After that if you feel that the games begin , then just back off.

remember that whatever anyone does here they have to value each other.
If not, it's not worth it.

For me
I Just cant help advising for god alone knows how I will be reacting in your situation.
But then you asked for advice isn't it.:)
 
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honey, i'm going to have to agree with the back off faction. to me, she's waffling, and you definitely don't need that. my advice is that i would say, look, i appreciate that you've got some things to sort out, but I can't wait around for you, and play second fiddle. i'd love to spend more time with you, if and when you realize you're ready to also make that committment. then put the ball in her court, and back off. it just seems to me that there is major potential for her to string you along here, having been in her shoes, it is awfully nice to be able to keep an "emergency guy" on the back burner for just in case. it isn't a nice thing to do to someone and it certainly sucks when someone is doing it to you.

sorry. :(
 

PlannerByDay

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michaelskis

I gonna refrain from giving any advice. I'm bummed to hear about what your going through.

Hang in there buddy. I have spent many a VD alone, it is heard esp. if this is you first VD alone in a while.
 

otterpop

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My humble two cents, because I've been there a few times. Proceed slowly and be cautious for your own sake. Maybe it could be love. Maybe you might be the "transitional boyfriend." -- the guy a woman dates while she decides if it is over with her ex or if she will move on. If she decides to move on, most likely it will be with the guy after you.

Long ago I got involved with a woman who wouldn't break things off with her ex-husband. Eventually she went back to him and of course dumped me. Last time I saw her, she was passing through town. Her father who had terminal cancer passed on finally. She had two black eyes courtesy of her husband (they had remarried). I couldn't help but think about how her father must have felt, lying on his deathbed and there was his little girl with two shiners. The old man was a gypo logger and a damn tough and wonderful man. I am sure he would have loved to have been able to get up, get in his truck and administer a first-class ass-whipping to his son-in-law. But he could not.

What I also thought as I looked at her two black eyes was she did be a huge favor by dumping me and good riddance. For once in my life I was absolutely sure of one thing - I was too good for a woman.
 

michaelskis

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OK…

This is what I am thinking… I am going to take her out to some place simple for Saturday where we can eat, sit, and talk. At some point, I am going to ask her why her and her ex broke up, (thinking that this will spark the idea of OK there was a problem with this other guy). Then I am going to let her know that because I do care about her, and I don’t want to put any added stress on her life, that I will still be there for her as a friend and that I am going to give her space that she needs to figure things out. I am also going to let her know that she is a great girl, and that she has all the qualities that I look for in someone that I would want to have a relationship with, but I also have to protect my own heart. Finally, I will let her know that I do hope that someday her and I will have the opportunity to give the idea of a relationship a chance, but until she is sure about what she wants, neither of us would be able to give it the effort that it deserves. I think that this will keep the door open for a possibility, but it will not close any other doors, and it will give her the opportunity to walk through it if she wants, but she will also realize that the door will only stay open so long, and she can’t stand in it and not let others by. The more that I think about it I realize that this is not quite the first time that something like this has happened to me. I also realize that I am not a doormat, and that until she figures out what she wants from this other guy, I will just get walked on.

In short, let her know that I am a full meal, not just a side dish.

So… I am still single, and if a possibility to go out with someone great comes along… I am not going let her walk on by.
 

Doitnow

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HAhaha

If your self respect is the primary factor and you dont mind being alone on the VD then take El Guapos advice.

All the best anyways.
 

mendelman

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In high school, I had a similar situation and eventually realized I was just a rebound guy, and she was not taking me serious.

Sorry for not giving any advise, but I am so happy I don't have to deal with type of situation anymore.
 

SkeLeton

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I think I'll join the "back off" (or EG's Bail out) Bandwagon here... Sorry Mike..
But the thing is that it smells fishy that she "felt not well" and afterwards went out, means she's way too confused and lost.
If you stick around there you'll probably end only like a spare tire, I doubt it canget any better than that...

[ot]
You can certainly tell it's near valentine's since the romantic help threads are blooming... anybody else needs sentimental help? :-D [/ot]
 

Gedunker

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Do not chase her, skibum. Play hard to get. Be mysterious. Be cool. Make her want you and she'll make up her mind one way or the other.

As to Saturday, do not bring up the ex at any cost. If she wants to talk about it, she will initiate it. Remember, it's VD and she's with you, not him. Show her a good time, dude!
 

Planner Groupie

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This has been my rule of thumb since I left my ex. I say take the risk and go for her. Life isn't worth living if you don't take some risks. You could be happy, you could get crushed but you'll never know unless you go for it. You'll be kicking yourself later if you don't.

As for the games and women not knowing what other women think, you are so right. Some of us hate to let others down and would say anything to bow out gracefully. Sometimes it comes back to bite us in the a$$.

Anyway, what have you got to lose Michaelski. Never let anyone take your pride away from you. If she doesn't want to be with you, then it is her loss. You seem like a true genuine man and that is a quality that is lacking in my generation of men.
 

yaff

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Mike,
I have to say that you seem like one great guy. It is possible that this girl just needs to trust that you will give her the time to figure out and understand her own conflicted feelings and that you care about her emotional well being. Back in the day, I was in a long-distance relationship that was not working out. I met a great guy and was straight forward with him when we both felt that we had feelings for eachother. I quickly ended my long-distance relationship and the new guy was secure and confident enough to let me resolve all those issues myself. He showed me that he had my best interests at heart and our relationship developed further. Now he is my husband and I appreciate what a great guy I have. I also agree about setting setting expectations on how you are treated and protecting yourself. I think you have the right idea having a low-key dinner with her on Saturday, enjoying eachother's company and seeing how things develop. It would be nice if there were a crystal ball for relationships but .. it don't exist!! Wishing you the best.
 
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Planner Groupie said:
As for the games and women not knowing what other women think, you are so right. Some of us hate to let others down and would say anything to bow out gracefully. Sometimes it comes back to bite us in the a$$.
Agreed. I think a lot of women need to realize that by just coming out and being honest from the start, while it would perhaps be a bit more ego bruising, would also save heartache in the long run.

I think you've got a really good plan, Michael.
 

Jen

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I think MZ and Gedunker are on the same track,and I agree: be yourself, take a little risk, brace your ego and laugh at yourself. Cool off the romantic intentions, she broke a date with you, promised home cooking and then went to Ma's? sex aint forthcoming in the next few dates, anyway.

egads dating seems so complicated!! :-#
 
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Jen said:
I think MZ and Gedunker are on the same track,and I agree: be yourself, take a little risk, brace your ego and laugh at yourself. Cool off the romantic intentions, she broke a date with you, promised home cooking and then went to Ma's?
You know, she may have been actually ill and went to Ma's to get chicken soup. Sheesh! -- all the suspicion just because Mike is being so emotional and magnifying every bleeping detail.

I, personally, get really sick of men jumping to conclusions and laying a load of crap on me because THEY need something and think I am "supposed to be" The Answer and when I am not, all of a sudden I am "Playing Games" (with their heart , apparently) and blah blah blah. Honey, I have a life. Every single thing I do is not solely motivated by my reaction to what you FEEL -- especially if you haven't yet bothered to tell me what that is!

After years of dropping everything to pick my husband's ego up off the floor and reassure him, blah blah blah, I finally started saying "You know, I am capable of having a bad day that was not caused by YOU."

Mike, would you be utterly freaking out if one of your buddies called to say "Yo, dude, I can't make it to go bowling/bar hopping/ skeet shooting/ whatevering with you. Sorry. Catch you later." and then turned out to NOT be where you thought he was supposed to be? Do you already think you "own" this woman just because you have a few feelings for her? She was OBLIGATED to be at home in bed so as to not feed your paranoid delusions that every single thing she does in life is some kind of running commentary on whether or not she wants to get close to you?

If YOU are that needy and insecure, maybe you will be doing her a favor to go ahead and admit YOU still are not ready for a relatinship because of your recent bad experiences with women and quit imposing on her. If, instead, you think you are a Real Man (or would like to become one), then Get Over It and proceed with your valentines plans that you were so jazzed about just 24 hours before she announced she had a bleeping cold. If you get your heart ripped out this weekend, then, hey, you will KNOW it has no future and you can quit pouring your heart out to a bunch of strangers in Cyberspace. You aren't making a lifetime commitment here. Sheesh -- it is just one more weekend. Go for the gusto. Deciding beforehand that There Is No Hope is a sure fire way to spend the weekend alone. Don't say "no" for her. I am sure she is perfectly capable of saying so for herself. She did once already.
 
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JNL

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I do not recall michaelskis questioning the young lady's whereabouts. That was other people who pounced on that.

But I agree, don't make it any more complicated than it needs to be!
 

michaelskis

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I have no doubts about her not feeling well, and going to her parents, but what it did, is allow me to question things for a moment, *that and the oh **** she is in trouble now* look that her room mate had made me wonder what she really wanted and was looking for. The part that has me questioning now is that she is not sure, and that her ex just came back into the pic, and before that she did want a serious relationship. That is not what I am reading from her, it is what she told me. As for what should I do… I decided that I am going to decide what will happen on Saturday Morning when I am at the gym. No matter what, I am going to do something with her. I will just need to decided if I want to try to sweep her off her feet and make her forget about her ex, or do I want to take her out for a normal bite to eat. If I had to choose right now, I think that it would be some combination of both…

As for the needing attachment… I have been single for the past 4 months. I have gone out on several dates with women, but there was just something always missing. With this girl, it does not feel like anything is missing. A college friend of mine and I where talking during lunch, and she asked if I had big plans for Saturday, so I told her the story. Her answer was “So… crank up the charm, be your self, allow the romance to flow, and wipe away the tears of happiness from her cheek after you give her a good night kiss.”

I may have stumbled for a moment… but things like this just give me determination to be better than I am now..

Oh… it is 5pm… of to the hill for ski racing… Thank you to everyone who has given me advice, thoughts, ideas, and laughs today.
 
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JNL said:
I do not recall michaelskis questioning the young lady's whereabouts. That was other people who pounced on that.

But I agree, don't make it any more complicated than it needs to be!
Nor did I say Michael was questioning it. I said "sheesh, all this suspicion". Terrorists are created when a bunch of suspicious people get together and sit around talking about their suspicions and reassuring each other by going into great and glorious detail about why they are justified in being suspious until "suspicious" becomes "paranoid" and then continue until "paranoid" becomes "determined to destroy the threat before it can even happen". And then young men strap bombs to their chests and go into malls in the middle east and blow themselves up to avoid a worse fate <and what, I ask, might be WORSE than that???? pray tell>.

Having a zillion people tell Michael that some woman they have never met is clearly so crazy that he should run in the other direction for dear life because THEY have their own emotional baggage sounds like the same sort of thing: suspicion leading to paranoia leading to "destroy the relationship before she can possibly have any chance to decide for herself if she wants you or not". Such a policy is a good way to remain alone a lot.

Michael seems to have come up with a sensible plan. However, I would like to note that the look on the roommate's face is not really a good basis for judgment concerning the girlfriend (or potential girlfriend). Perhaps the roommate has her own baggage. Perhaps the look on her face was in reaction to the look on Michael's face when he showed up and was clearly disappointed and perhaps a tad suspicious when she wasn't there.

Additionally, if YOU are not "reading" something along the lines of "I am still in love with my ex and really don't want to be with you, etc", then you also cannot be sure that her comments can be taken literally or "at face value" or whatever. People often do not know exactly what they feel and may be "thinking out loud" and trying to figure it out or may not have the right words or whatever. Nor would I judge her feelings or intentions on the actions of her ex. Him "showing back up" is what HE has done. How is that commentary on HER motives? (or whatever)

Please note as well that my signature line has not changed and I cannot be taken literally either: if you heard such comments from a comedian on stage you would die laughing. Be entertained. I have never met you. What on earth do I know about you?
 

prudence

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Fight??!!??

WTF?!? You are going to fight for this girl...

I admit I did not read all the posts to this thread, but fight for a girl. I would not wish this situation upon anyone. Hell, we have all been there, but what you are suggesting only works in the movies. I will say this very simply, and I am soory if it is blunt...

YOU CANNOT COMPETE WITH HER EX. THEY HAVE HISTORY, AND YOU CANNOT OVERCOME THAT FACT.

If you truly want to work this out, you will have to give her space. Be the nice, unassuming guy who doesn't get worked-up about things. Don't try to make plans with her, so the other guy can't. You need to be exactly as you were when you first started seeing each other. At that time you took nothing for granted. All of your "dates" seemed like a happenstance...you need to get back to that.

But I wish you luck.
 

yaff

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I would just like to note for the record that I did not hear that this woman's "ex" is back in the picture at all or that they have any ongoing contact at all. All I heard is that she admitted that she has complicated feelings about him. That being said, their relationship is Over!! Sometimes it just takes a bit for a person's feelings to catch up. Mike, give her some time for her to see how she feels about this new relationship with you. Don't jump into the deep end too quickly. But, a little romantic "sweeping her off her feet" is not necessarily a bad thing. Enjoy your skiing and I hope you have a great Saturday.
 

GeogPlanner

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the ex thing may be a valentine's day knee-jerk reaction...stick with it!

"...and when you meet becky, run!"
 

biscuit

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michaelskis said:
Ahhh... who is Becky?
I't from a Volkswagon commercial in which a guy gets a phone call from his future self telling him to not take a job in Boston and to buy the VW as it is the one thing he won't regret. He then finishes the call by saying, "...and when you meet Becky, run!"

Methinks I might watch a little too much television.
 

Greenescapist

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24
I don't think this girl deserves a date with you on Valentine's Day. You should cancel on her. Make her think about what she's doing. Maybe she'll feel bad, remember why she broke up with her boyfriend in the first place and become more interested in you. Your intentions sound really nice, but this chick probably has the sense that you won't think about yourself and she'll string you along. I think you should not take her bs and find someone better even if it means that you're alone on V day (and save some $$$ and self-respect, too).
 

Super Amputee Cat

Cyburbian
Messages
2,193
Points
29
I'm with Dan all the way on this one. Only had to read a couple of sentences into the paragraph to see that she is bad news.
 

Doitnow

Cyburbian
Messages
500
Points
16
Well...
Whatever happens... it wont kill you.So just go ahead.
(I read that somewhere.)
If i were in your shoes i would give it a solid try and then see the result.
If it works out fine otherwise.. fine again.
I would also still value my time very much. Balancing would be very tough and strenuous for me I have to admit.

Gist of this message:

Value your time.


But you seem to having a good time in anycase. Skiing and all. Thats goood!!
 

michaelskis

Cyburbian
Messages
19,971
Points
49
Well, it is almost 4 pm on Saturday, and here is what I decided. I am going stick with my first idea. But keep my heart locked up. She is a woman, and no woman deserves to be ditched on Valentines day... even it there are some other lingering issues. I am going to give it my all, there is one change those... the dancing at the end of the night will be on top of a parking deck, up by the city sky line. Then I am going to bring her home, tell her “I had a wonderful time, and that I hope to see her again.” Kiss her on the cheek, and go home. From that moment on, she will have to make a choice if she wants to continue to see me again or not. I am going to give her an insight as to what I have to offer her, but I am not going to call her unless she calls me. I have been looking back at this, and spent a lot of time reflecting on what I have done thus far, and I realized that I have been the only one in this so far. She has been there physically, but she has done nothing to pursue me. Here is the catch, I have tried once to call her since Wednesday, and today I called again and left a message for her to call me. Other than that we have not talked, and she has not tried to call me. At 6 pm, if she I have not heard from her by then, I am going to cook dinner, and go hang out with some friends.

So tonight, (if she calls) I will give it my all, show her a wonderful time, and then tomorrow go on with my life with the usual optimistic personality and a contagious smile, wether or not she is in my life.
 

michaelskis

Cyburbian
Messages
19,971
Points
49
Please don't say that there are alot of fish in the sea... I like women, not fish.

Well... this post comes quick after the last one...

I just talked to her... and well, I am still have a smile on my face... I am going to call a few friends, who I don’t think have plans tonight... and in the words of a great friend... when life is great, throw a party, when life sucks... throw a party. :b:

She said that she does not think she wants to go out with me... she had no idea of anything that I had planned... and unless she knows about this web site.. I don’t think that she ever will. |-)

I hope that everyone out there had better luck than I did... because the only thing worse than not having a date on Valentines Day, is having your date cancel... (Does anyone need any flowers??? I have a real nice bouquet sitting here along with stuff for a hell of a meal.) :-@

I think that I am going to go to the gym now... I need to burn off a little frustration.
 

jordanb

Cyburbian
Messages
3,232
Points
25
Well, if this is your first time getting ****ed with by a girl, welcome to the clube! :-D

Every guy has to go through it at some point, and now you'll get to become a cynical, jaded bastard like the rest of us. :) It's funny, though, once you've been through it once, you can see it coming from a mile away. That's why all of us were telling you to bail. I've seen it happen to friends, and I tell them what's going on and to get out, but they never listen. I suppose every guy has to experience it for himself.
 
Messages
3,690
Points
27
Sorry hon. Chicks suck. sorry chicks. :) I was just talking about a very similar subject with my best friend this morning, about how so many quality women are missing out on awesome guys because of low self esteem issues that tie them up with ex-boyfriend issues that the girl would be sooo much better off if she realized he was her ex for a good reason and moved on. sigh.

glad to hear you're working it off in the gym and not at the pub. :)

and Damn, it scares me when prudence and i agree. ;)
 

Cardinal

Cyburbian
Messages
10,080
Points
34
Sorry to hear that it didn't work out. :( Well, here I am on Cyburbia on Valentine's evening too. |-) At least this time I have a prospect. :-} This is not a great day to make a second date, though, so we both avoided it. :-C Look at it this way, you didn't put a lot of effort into the meal and "sweeping her off her feet," only to be let down afterwards. :-\
 
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