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I now pronounce you Mr. & Mrs. Jesus H. Christ

Did Jesus have an old lady?

  • No way! It is exactly as written. Dude was stone cold celebate.

    Votes: 5 15.2%
  • Maybe. But it is better if we don't upset him by speculating.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Maybe, but it doesn't lessen my faith either way.

    Votes: 7 21.2%
  • Sure he did, all those old Jewish guys had one.

    Votes: 7 21.2%
  • You are going to hell Mr el Guapo!

    Votes: 5 15.2%
  • I'm not sure, let me look in my hat at this stone for a minute first.

    Votes: 1 3.0%
  • Maybe he had a "companion" ([color=red]P[/color][color=blue]R[/color][color=deeppink]I[/color][color

    Votes: 2 6.1%
  • Beats me!

    Votes: 5 15.2%
  • The dude never even existed! (blame statler)

    Votes: 1 3.0%

  • Total voters
    33

el Guapo

Capitalist
Messages
5,995
Points
31
Did Jesus take a wife?

...A leading US TV news reporter has said her network is taking a risk with a news special which asks whether Jesus Christ had a wife. ABC's Elizabeth Vargas said Jesus, Mary and Da Vinci, to be shown in the US on Monday night, was being made "as respectfully as we can". But she admitted: "You can't talk about this subject without intriguing people or offending people...

Moreover, if he did, did she nag him? "All the other messiahs have 30 disciples, why do you only have 12?" or "I'm going to visit mys siter in Jordan, there better be a bunch of wine an bread here when I get back or so help me God...and good wine, not that cheap stuff like you tried to pass off at the Goldstein's bar-mitz-vah."
 

The Irish One

Member
Messages
2,267
Points
25
I think he's like the priest down in South America, everyone knows they have special lady friends that do womenly favors in addition to cooking and cleaning.
 

mendelman

Unfrozen Caveman Planner
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
14,146
Points
58
"I shall smite thee, EG, Old Testament-style" sayth the Lord Your God.
- Acts 17:20
 

El Feo

Cyburbian
Messages
674
Points
19
Two things:

1. I say we should ask Allah. (sorry in advance for the blasphemy, muslims), and

2. We all spend waaaayy too much time at Cyburbia and Drudge Report.
 

Richmond Jake

You can't fight in here. This is the War Room!
Messages
18,313
Points
44
el Guapo said:
OK Smarty: Then where did "tap dancing" come from, as in Jesus H. Tap Dancing Christ? ;)

Remember the first 32 years of his life that are largely undocumented? Entertainer. Vaudeville.
 

The Irish One

Member
Messages
2,267
Points
25
well speaking of Christ movies, I'm absolutely going to through all of my movie going money at Mel Gibsons the Passion. I'm not sorry Christians and Jews.
 

Richmond Jake

You can't fight in here. This is the War Room!
Messages
18,313
Points
44
TIO - That's your seventh post in this thread--three of them in a row!!!! You whore (sorry whores). ;)
 

H

Cyburbian
Messages
2,850
Points
24
After I voted for the “sure he did” option I felt a weird “I’m going to hell” feeling go through my body.

I am sorry. And I change my answer to “No way”.

Now i am freaked out. 8-!
 

SkeLeton

Cyburbian
Messages
4,853
Points
26
I vote for pride option, 'cause I couldn't care less...and of course I did it in a childish way to annoy oversensitive christians (sorry oversensitive christians) :)
 

DecaturHawk

Cyburbian
Messages
880
Points
22
That Da Vinci Code is so much BS. It amazes me that ABC or any news organization (or anyone) who takes themselves seriously would read that silly novel (Yup, folks, it is a novel, not a work of non-fiction) and take it for fact, or even advance the notion that it might be fact. The author relied on non-historical sources for his story; no responsible historian buys any of that nonsense (these sources come from the same school as the writers of the "Protocols of the Elders of Zion" and similar dreck).

A good review of The Da Vinci Code can be read here.
 

biscuit

Cyburbian
Messages
3,904
Points
25
The whole Di Vinci Code theory sounds pretty BS. I bet the Free Masons know the truth and they're keeping it a closely held secret. It's not safe to talk about it... THEY KNOW! ;)


From 17 years of sinday school, I can't recall the the Bible ever saying explicitly that Jesus was celibate.
 

Chet

Cyburbian Emeritus
Messages
10,623
Points
34
[ministry]
Jesus Built My Hotrod.

And all I can say is.... yama yama hey ah ram dama ding dong

[/ministry]
 

Richmond Jake

You can't fight in here. This is the War Room!
Messages
18,313
Points
44
Even better:

"Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz....My friends all drive Porches, I must make amends...."

Janis Joplin
 

statler

Cyburbian
Messages
447
Points
14
Everybody knows that the 'H' stands for 'Harold'.
As in: "Our Father who art in Heaven, Harold be thy name..."

And how come there wasn't an option for:
The dude never even existed!
 

Duke Of Dystopia

Cyburbian
Messages
2,713
Points
24
El Feo said:
Two things:

1. I say we should ask Allah. (sorry in advance for the blasphemy, muslims), and

2. We all spend waaaayy too much time at Cyburbia and Drudge Report.


Where in hell did you dig THAT blog up! HOLY CRAP MAN! Not sure I should be laughing my ass off or be increadibly frightened! :)
 

Zoning Goddess

Cyburbian
Messages
13,852
Points
39
Well, I liked the Da Vinci Code. For chrissakes, it was just a novel. I love spy/mystery type books, so it was good reading unless you are a religious type trying to tie some special meaning into it other than it just being an entertaining piece of fiction.

But I don't get the impression that Cyburbians are an especially religious bunch? Never mind, bad topic to bring up.
 

el Guapo

Capitalist
Messages
5,995
Points
31
Zoning Goddess said:
Well, I liked the Da Vinci Code. For chrissakes, it was just a novel. I love spy/mystery type books, so it was good reading unless you are a religious type trying to tie some special meaning into it other than it just being an entertaining piece of fiction.

But I don't get the impression that Cyburbians are an especially religious bunch? Never mind, bad topic to bring up.

BLAHPHEEEEEEMEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRR! Burn Her! She's a witch!~
 

otterpop

Cyburbian
Messages
6,655
Points
28
It wouldn't surprise me if Jesus was married. If so, then his missus must of been the first women to scream "oh Jesus, oh Jesus. . . " during sex.
 

Rumpy Tunanator

Cyburbian
Messages
4,473
Points
25
otterpop said:
It wouldn't surprise me if Jesus was married. If so, then his missus must of been the first women to scream "oh Jesus, oh Jesus. . . " during sex.

And I bet he got pissed when she said "Oh JudaS"
 

Zoning Goddess

Cyburbian
Messages
13,852
Points
39
el Guapo said:
BLAHPHEEEEEEMEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRR! Burn Her! She's a witch!~

Hey, cool to hear that from you, and on Halloween, no less.

Fiction is fiction. I, personally, don't take it badly when goddesses or short people are skewered in novels. What's with the ultra-religious reactions?
 

Zoning Goddess

Cyburbian
Messages
13,852
Points
39
Hey, cool to hear that from you, and on Halloween, no less.

Fiction is fiction. I, personally, don't take it badly when goddesses or short people are skewered in novels. What's with the ultra-religious reactions?

WHY is this 10 year old thread suddenly surfaced, with a date from me of today? WTF?
 
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