I now pronounce you Mr. & Mrs. Jesus H. Christ

[el Guapo]

Did Jesus take a wife?

...A leading US TV news reporter has said her network is taking a risk with a news special which asks whether Jesus Christ had a wife. ABC's Elizabeth Vargas said Jesus, Mary and Da Vinci, to be shown in the US on Monday night, was being made "as respectfully as we can". But she admitted: "You can't talk about this subject without intriguing people or offending people...

Moreover, if he did, did she nag him? "All the other messiahs have 30 disciples, why do you only have 12?" or "I'm going to visit mys siter in Jordan, there better be a bunch of wine an bread here when I get back or so help me God...and good wine, not that cheap stuff like you tried to pass off at the Goldstein's bar-mitz-vah."

 

[SW MI Planner]

I said it's a possibility, but doesn't lessen my faith anyway.

Jesus H Christ: Anyone know what the "H" stands for?

 

[The Irish One]

I think he's like the priest down in South America, everyone knows they have special lady friends that do womenly favors in addition to cooking and cleaning.

 

[mendelman]

"I shall smite thee, EG, Old Testament-style" sayth the Lord Your God.
- Acts 17:20

 

[The Irish One]

H

Holy???

 

[El Feo]

Two things:

1. I say we should ask Allah. (sorry in advance for the blasphemy, muslims), and

2. We all spend waaaayy too much time at Cyburbia and Drudge Report.

 

[Chet]

Re: H

Holy???

So thats where the phrase "holy Christ" came from!

 

[Rumpy Tunanator]

Well, of course he did, after a few glasses of wine he probally had the urge, to herbal.

 

[el Guapo]

OK Smarty: Then where did "tap dancing" come from, as in Jesus H. Tap Dancing Christ?

 

[The Irish One]

Where did Jesus H. Christ on a crutch come from?

 

[The Irish One]

Ok I got it, it was coming to me.

 

[The Irish One]

PRIDE OPTION oh shit, that's good.

 

[martini]

voted for beats me! Not even really sure if I care all that much either. No offense Chritians.

 

[Richmond Jake]

OK Smarty: Then where did "tap dancing" come from, as in Jesus H. Tap Dancing Christ?

Remember the first 32 years of his life that are largely undocumented? Entertainer. Vaudeville.

 

[BiteMeElmo]

Anyone ever see The Last Temptation of Christ? Who knew he was so into Motown?

 

[Chet]

PRIDE OPTION oh shit, that's good.

Well, that would be in line with the leadership in the Catholic Church...

 

[The Irish One]

well speaking of Christ movies, I'm absolutely going to through all of my movie going money at Mel Gibsons the Passion. I'm not sorry Christians and Jews.

 

[The Irish One]

Well, that would be in line with the leadership in the Catholic Church...

You are so exCatholic, aren't you? They are gay, sorry Catholics

 

[Richmond Jake]

TIO - That's your seventh post in this thread--three of them in a row!!!! You whore (sorry whores).

 

[The Irish One]

busted again! you cop, sorry cops.

 

[H]

After I voted for the “sure he did” option I felt a weird “I’m going to hell” feeling go through my body.

I am sorry. And I change my answer to “No way”.

Now i am freaked out. 8-!

 

[Jeff]

I don't recall the bible ever saying he was celabate? Does it?

 

[Planderella]

Anything is possible.

 

[SkeLeton]

I vote for pride option, 'cause I couldn't care less...and of course I did it in a childish way to annoy oversensitive christians (sorry oversensitive christians)

 

[DecaturHawk]

That Da Vinci Code is so much BS. It amazes me that ABC or any news organization (or anyone) who takes themselves seriously would read that silly novel (Yup, folks, it is a novel, not a work of non-fiction) and take it for fact, or even advance the notion that it might be fact. The author relied on non-historical sources for his story; no responsible historian buys any of that nonsense (these sources come from the same school as the writers of the "Protocols of the Elders of Zion" and similar dreck).

A good review of The Da Vinci Code can be read here.

 

[Habanero]

I don't recall the bible ever saying he was celabate? Does it?

That's gotta be where calling out Jesus came from...

 

[Chet]

That's gotta be where calling out Jesus came from...

or is that the coming out of jesus?

 

[biscuit]

The whole Di Vinci Code theory sounds pretty BS. I bet the Free Masons know the truth and they're keeping it a closely held secret. It's not safe to talk about it... THEY KNOW!


From 17 years of sinday school, I can't recall the the Bible ever saying explicitly that Jesus was celibate.

 

[Chet]

[ministry]
Jesus Built My Hotrod.

And all I can say is.... yama yama hey ah ram dama ding dong

[/ministry]

 

[Richmond Jake]

Even better:

"Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz....My friends all drive Porches, I must make amends...."

Janis Joplin

 

[statler]

Everybody knows that the 'H' stands for 'Harold'.
As in: "Our Father who art in Heaven, Harold be thy name..."

And how come there wasn't an option for:
The dude never even existed!

 

[Duke Of Dystopia]

Two things:

1. I say we should ask Allah. (sorry in advance for the blasphemy, muslims), and

2. We all spend waaaayy too much time at Cyburbia and Drudge Report.

Where in hell did you dig THAT blog up! HOLY CRAP MAN! Not sure I should be laughing my ass off or be increadibly frightened!

 

[Zoning Goddess]

Well, I liked the Da Vinci Code. For chrissakes, it was just a novel. I love spy/mystery type books, so it was good reading unless you are a religious type trying to tie some special meaning into it other than it just being an entertaining piece of fiction.

But I don't get the impression that Cyburbians are an especially religious bunch? Never mind, bad topic to bring up.

 

[el Guapo]

Well, I liked the Da Vinci Code. For chrissakes, it was just a novel. I love spy/mystery type books, so it was good reading unless you are a religious type trying to tie some special meaning into it other than it just being an entertaining piece of fiction.

But I don't get the impression that Cyburbians are an especially religious bunch? Never mind, bad topic to bring up.

BLAHPHEEEEEEMEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRR! Burn Her! She's a witch!~

 

[statler]

staler?

El G,

Thanks for adding the option!

But never, ever mess w/ a Bostonian's "T", we tend to overreact to such things!

 

[el Guapo]

I found an extra "t" and put it up there.

 

[otterpop]

It wouldn't surprise me if Jesus was married. If so, then his missus must of been the first women to scream "oh Jesus, oh Jesus. . . " during sex.

 

[Rumpy Tunanator]

It wouldn't surprise me if Jesus was married. If so, then his missus must of been the first women to scream "oh Jesus, oh Jesus. . . " during sex.

And I bet he got pissed when she said "Oh JudaS"

 

[Zoning Goddess]

BLAHPHEEEEEEMEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRR! Burn Her! She's a witch!~

Hey, cool to hear that from you, and on Halloween, no less.

Fiction is fiction. I, personally, don't take it badly when goddesses or short people are skewered in novels. What's with the ultra-religious reactions?

 

[Zoning Goddess]

Hey, cool to hear that from you, and on Halloween, no less.

Fiction is fiction. I, personally, don't take it badly when goddesses or short people are skewered in novels. What's with the ultra-religious reactions?

WHY is this 10 year old thread suddenly surfaced, with a date from me of today? WTF?

 

[giff57]

WHY is this 10 year old thread suddenly surfaced, with a date from me of today? WTF?

Poll responses bump the threads.