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Inspirational messages that aren’t doing it for me

Wannaplan?

Galactic Superstar
Messages
3,073
Likes
2
Points
19
#1
Note to self: If you were able to believe in Santa Claus for eight years, you can believe in yourself for like five seconds. Okay? You got this!

Source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/360147301435875561/

Why this isn’t doing it for me: First, I found it on Pinterest. I mean, what kind of cult is this? Second, Santa Claus brought me gifts... for free! I can’t do that! Stuff costs money, you know? I don’t got this, really. And let’s be honest about Santa while we’re at it. He’s a screwed up guy. Seriously! When I was four, he let me sit on his lap, and I cried and cried. Mother has the pictures to prove it. Plus, he employs a bunch of little people to perform hard labor. Maybe “employ” isn’t the right word. I think they’re more like slaves. Heck, these days, Santa has gone so far as to box his elves up and sell them to retailers. This is some sick stuff. They don’t call it Elf Trafficking, nope never, no way. It’s called "Elf On the Shelf" and he’s only $24.99 at Target. Santa is a bastard.

I feel better already!
 

Bubba

Cyburbian
Messages
4,279
Likes
1
Points
20
#2
Plus, he employs a bunch of little people to perform hard labor. Maybe “employ” isn’t the right word. I think they’re more like slaves. Heck, these days, Santa has gone so far as to box his elves up and sell them to retailers. This is some sick stuff. They don’t call it Elf Trafficking, nope never, no way. It’s called "Elf On the Shelf" and he’s only $24.99 at Target. Santa is a bastard.
 

gtpeach

Cyburbian
Messages
1,767
Likes
2
Points
12
#3
I'm pretty sure that nothing that happens today is going to be better than this post. It's a shame that the day peaked before I even technically had to be at work.
 
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