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Inspired by the worst date thread....

SW MI Planner

Cyburbian
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3,195
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26
She was so dull she had nothing to talk about except how all these guys wanted her. Unless she was hanging out at the school of the blind and deaf, I knew it was a lie.
She looked NOTHING like the picture she had sent me. She was over weight, sort, bleach blond hair, and one dark uni-brow.
He turns up in tight black jeans and boots (tight, tapered jeans make me shudder),
These comments in the worst date thread made me curious to know what other people find *attractive*? I'm not talking playmate material, but your average girl/guy on the street. What floats your boat? Granted beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and all that other happy horse shit, but we all have our "standards". For example, Mike told us why he wasn't happy with his date, but jfortin, what made your date fugly?

Also, how much does personality play a part in a persons appearance? Say you (and I mean everyone here) go on a date, and the person wasn't that attractive, but otherwise was awesome - they had the best personality, good head on their shoulders, good job, goals, etc. etc. etc. Would you automatically discount someone as relationship material because of looks?

And, I've heard it said that people are attracted to their "equal". For example, if you think your a 5 on a scale of 1 to 10, then you are subconsciously attracted to people that are also 5's. Do you think this is true?

((By the way, I think the comments were hilarious, so I'm not trying to pick on anyone :D))
 
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One of the very first things that attracted me to my husband was how he smelled - no cologne, no aftershave. he just smelled good to me, maybe it was his deodorant.

As for dating your attractiveness equal, I can generally believe it. You'll see 5's and 7's together, but honestly, when you see a 4 and a 9 together, don't you kind of wonder what's going on there?
 

biscuit

Cyburbian
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3,904
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SW MI Planner said:
And, I've heard it said that people are attracted to their "equal". For example, if you think your a 5 on a scale of 1 to 10, then you are subconsciously attracted to people that are also 5's. Do you think this is true?
I'm not so sure. I had an ex who used to always say that, but after I sobered up and finally got a good look at her I could only think "Who was she trying to kid?" And thus we ended our six month drunken hook-up.

As for what I find attractive...My physical type (If I had one) back in the day was the the little perky athletic brunettes. As I got a little older, and wiser, I discovered that I really don't have a type beyond natural beauty. However, I've found myself attracted to, and liking, REAL women. The kind with curves and some junk in the trunk.

Personality is very important, if they're mot smart, ambitious and witty with a good head on their shoulders, then I'm not interested.
 

Cardinal

Cyburbian
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10,081
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34
I'l weigh in here with a few thoughts, but may add more later.

I find myself attracted to a fairly broad range of women, some more attractive and some less. Personality is extremely important. A very attractive b*tch is still a b*tch. On the other hand, I would have to be honest and say that there is a point at which looks come into play as well. Personality can't make up for 300 pounds.

I don't think I have a certain preferred hair color or anything like that. Maybe the ways in which a person carries themselves are the cues I notice. A nice smile goes a long way. I also like it when a woman wears no, or little make-up. I get to see the real person, and it is also a cue that they are likely to match my personality.
 

Zoning Goddess

Cyburbian
Messages
13,853
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39
Attractive is like art, you just know it when you see it. I don't have any set "standards", like tall, blonde, whatever. Some guys look just "OK" at first but become really cute when you get to know them. One guy I dated for years first caught my attention when I heard him speak; he had the sexiest voice I have ever heard in my life.

On the other hand, there are some things not related to their genetic makeup that I won't deal with: guys who think it's OK for them to gain a bunch of weight in their 30's and 40's but want only thin women; guys who wear sports team apparel everywhere they go; guys who are obsessive about their cell phones.

And yes, I think most of us go for someone who's about the same in looks. I think I've seen results of studies in the newspaper that show the most successful relationships are between people who agree they're at the same "attractivemess" level.
 

Repo Man

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2,550
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25
I think that you have to be somewhat physicaly attracted to a person in order to make a relationship work. I am not trying to sound shallow, but I would guess that eveyone on here with a significant other or spouse is physically attracted to them.

As for my blind date, she was very very large. Her face was yucky. She had terrible hair. I could go on and on, but It might get nasty. I won't repeat the drunken description I gave my roommate when I came home. To top it off, her personality matched her looks. She also seemed to be a compulsive liar. When I saw her, I knew instantly that I would never have a 2nd date with her.
 

Chris

Member
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19
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1
Would you automatically discount someone as relationship material because of looks?
wow. what an expression.

Hey Butch, hand me some of this relationship material, I need to get something going on. ;)

Reply:
dunno. I'd say that personality is the most important part of it in the long run, but I'd call any guy a liar who says he doesn't think boobs are no eyecatcher.
 

Repo Man

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Downtown said:
As for dating your attractiveness equal, I can generally believe it. You'll see 5's and 7's together, but honestly, when you see a 4 and a 9 together, don't you kind of wonder what's going on there?
To quote Nelly "Heeeey must be the money!"
 

Cardinal

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10,081
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34
Inspired by the "Inspired by the Worst Date Thread"

A quote:

"dunno. I'd say that personality is the most important part of it in the long run, but I'd call any guy a liar who says he doesn't think boobs are no eyecatcher."

Chris's comment got me wondering. What is the body part that catches your eye when you are scoping out the opposite sex? Be honest, now, and don't give us any of that mushy "pretty smile" crap (like I did in the other thread). What is it boobies? Boo-tay? Long silky hair? Fess up.






Mod Note: I merged these two threads. Planderella
 

NHPlanner

A shadow of my former self
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Anyone who knows me (my wife included) knows I like a healthy chest.
 
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SW MI Planner said:

Would you automatically discount someone as relationship material because of looks?
To some extent, I think yes. How you take care of your appearance says a lot about you. I would definitely not count a Charles Manson (or Marilyn Manson for that matter) as relationship material. Just like some men would completely discount a woman with Tammy Faye Baker makeup.

I also don't (didn't) have a type. Smart, funny guys, I guess. Looks are important, but they'll only get you so far. Eventually you have to talk to each other, and you have to like what they've got to say. :)
 

Dan

Dear Leader
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I'm really not attracted to drop-dead gorgeous types ... yeah, nice to look at, but I'm realistic. I see 'em as inaccessible, so I don't find myself getting hot and bothered over the hot. I'm a 6 ... usually, people date others that are within a point of themselves on the Systeme International d'Unites d'Attraction.

I find myself attracted to girl-next-door types, maybe with a bit of a "sexy librarian" look. Tina Fey and Jan Smithers ... oh yeah! Jeanae Garafalo is another woman of my dreams. I'm partial to brunettes and redheads, although I really don't care about hair color.

This may be politically incorrect, but I'll admit it. I'm 5'10", and weigh in between 165 and 170 pounds. I'm not a drop-dead gorgeous hunk, and I don't expect the women I date to have perfect bodies; I'm not necessarily attracted to "Barbie" types. Still, though, I don't want to feel "outsized" when I'm on a date. Just as most women prefer dating men who are taller than they are, I'm instinctively attracted to women who are smaller than me.

Superficially, there are certain things that are a big turn-off ... a matronly, plain appearance, and a haggard, weather-beaten Appalachian or Confederate hardness among them.
 

Greenescapist

Cyburbian
Messages
1,169
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24
Nice, thick hair, sharp eyes and a small ass are more important to me than boobs - but I do notice them of course.

For some reason, I don't know why, I'm attracted to smallish women, 5'2-5'5, with dark hair and features. My long term girlfriend in college was the same height as me, 6'0 - which was certainly made some things interesting, but I don't think I could date someone that tall anymore.
 
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NHPlanner

A shadow of my former self
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Beaner said:
Really?! Are you on hotornot.com?
I posted a pic on there a while ago....just checked...apparently I'm an 8.6. :)
 

Jessie-J

Cyburbian
Messages
386
Points
12
guys

tall guys get me bubbly
then face
and confidence is really important. not cocky or arrogant, but confident. Someone who enjoys life and knows what they want and it shows.

did I mention height?

laid back but responsible
goal oriented but not obsessive
same interests help alot
non-addictive personalities, healthy but not a meathead
masculinity
i like a little pot belly
 

nerudite

Cyburbian
Messages
6,544
Points
30
There have only been a few times that I have just gone gaga over a guy and had to date him based solely on his looks. Both times they were middle eastern. Dark hair is a big attraction, as is dark skin.

I find my current boyfriend incredibly attractive (and did before I had even met him based on a picture he sent me)... he has light skin that tans well, dark hair and blue eyes.

The first things I find attractive on a man? Good hair, broad shoulders/decent pipes, nice bum. I think little spare tires are sexy, so I am generally attracted to guys in their 30s/40s...

Bad hair (not necessarily receding hair... just ill-maintained/unhealthy looking hair), chicken legs, and the chinless are things that I don't find attractive.

Edit: I'm a fairly tall person (5'9"), so guys shorter than 5'7" or so don't usually attract me much.
 

nerudite

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NHPlanner said:
I posted a pic on there a while ago....just checked...apparently I'm an 8.6. :)
Trust me ladies... he's a cutie! Probably the closest of the cyburbanites I've met to being "my type". If your hair was a little darker and you borrowed bturk's glasses for the night... watch out MaryPoppins! ;)
 

NHPlanner

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nerudite said:
Trust me ladies... he's a cutie! Probably the closest of the cyburbanites I've met to being "my type". If your hair was a little darker and you borrowed bturk's glasses for the night... watch out MaryPoppins! ;)
I'm humbly flattered by your impression of me.

This is the pic on hotornot....I guess it's OK....

 

Seabishop

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Likes: “Cuteness” I'm with Dan about the girls next door (not nuts over Tina Fey though). A rounder face, glasses, preferably brunette, no particular ethnicity. Smaller in height but curvatious – I’m a skinny guy, I don’t want to be with a woman who has a body like mine (no jokes please). Also, intelligence, good sense of humor, modesty, friendly but not super-extroverted, and "classy" in a good way.

Dislikess: the tall, blond, chisled manequin look. Analyze it all you want – I don’t like tall girls (and they don’t like me). Cartoon character clothing, over-reliance on jogging pants or those colorful, strechy pants. That kind of long, curly, gelled-looking hair found on lots of dance club girls, an “I’m a bitch” attitude, a dumb sounding RI accent.
 

michaelskis

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Ok now we are talking

I am looking for a woman who has grace and elegance, kind, caring, understanding, supportive, outgoing, optimistic, good back ground, opportunistic and goal oriented, kind of on the girly side, (ok more than kind of) yet she would be able to hang out and get dirty playing volley ball or foot ball.

She would also need to be active and fit, willing to at least try downhill skiing, NO CATS, wants a family some day and a romantic. Being Catholic would be a serious plus.

As for what she looks like, under 160 lbs, fit, great smile, under 6 feet tall, Blond or Red hair would be a bonus.

BUT, she if she is drop dead gorgeous, but dumb as a rock... that is a no go... and if she has a great personality, but hit every branch on the ugly tree, then that once again is a no go.

*I know, I am shallow
 

oulevin

Cyburbian
Messages
178
Points
7
When I was in the fourth grade, my first real crush was on a girl who was cute, had money (her father had a well-known car dealership), and smart -- clearly at the top of our class. Now that I'm thirty, I find I'm still attracted to that type -- although money has never had a prominent role. What takes someone from sheer interest to real attraction has been a sense of drive. I admire someone who has interests and goals and pursues them. I've never been interested on girls who I thought were easy or didn't have a life. Even if they don't exactly match with mine. If a girl has a certain physical appeal, shares my values, and is driven -- that's the ticket.

The commonality that I've noticed with all the girls/women I've been attracted to has been a certain waifness -- being small-framed myself (38 S-R suit size), I just feel more comfortable with those I can wrap my arms around. I agree to the theory of attractiveness equals, and would add to that physique equals (not necessarily the same thing), that make a relationship stick longer. After all, have you ever seen an overweight person with a thin person? Rarely.
 

Cardinal

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Re: Ok now we are talking

michaelskis said:
...NO CATS...
Have you ever noticed that so many of the women who post personals on sites like Match.com own cats? What is it with single women and cats? Are they practicing for when they are old and living alone in a house with a hundred of them?

When I see in an add that a woman does not like cats, or even better, has a dog, they score extra points with me.
 

nerudite

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Re: Re: Ok now we are talking

Michael Stumpf said:
What is it with single women and cats?
When I was single I used to do a lot of traveling. I tried having a dog, but when you are gone for three weeks, it's expensive and IMO mean to put them in a kennel. Cats, although not as fun as dogs, are fun pets and are easy to take care of. I went away for three weeks to Europe and just had a friend come over and clean out the cat box a few times and fill up the food and water containers maybe five or six times. My cat was fine... totally content to wander around the house while I was gone. Couldn't do that with a dog. I think you'll find that women with cats are pretty happy to get dogs once they settle down.
 

NHPlanner

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nerudite said:
your hair was a little darker and you borrowed bturk's glasses for the night... watch out MaryPoppins! ;)
I always wondered what I'd look like in glasses (can't help you on the hair though!).... ;)

Excuse the shoddy photoshop work...I only had a couple of minutes after lunch to put this together for nerudite. ;)
 
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mike gurnee said:
From an ancient song:
I want a gal,
just like the gal,
that married dear old dad.
Ok, maybe this should be a new thread. But how many of us find we've married (or are in a serious relationship) with a man who reminds us of our dad/woman like mom?

I'll be honest, while my husband looks nothing like my dad, personality wise they can be frightening similar. They're both kind of quiet and moody, but good sense of humor and dedication to family. Sometimes my husband will say something and I just want to die it is so much like something my dad would say.
 

nerudite

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Downtown said:
Ok, maybe this should be a new thread. But how many of us find we've married (or are in a serious relationship) with a man who reminds us of our dad/woman like mom?
There are a few similarities between Bradd and my dad. Mostly with dry sense of humor/personality. Goals in life, political leanings, and other big issues... totally different. But I was first attracted to Bradd due to his sense of humor... and that's the thing I admire most about my dad too. So maybe you look for the things you like most about your parent and not just for a similar person.
 

Habanero

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Re: Re: Ok now we are talking

Michael Stumpf said:
Have you ever noticed that so many of the women who post personals on sites like Match.com own cats? What is it with single women and cats? Are they practicing for when they are old and living alone in a house with a hundred of them?

When I see in an add that a woman does not like cats, or even better, has a dog, they score extra points with me.
Okay, I have two cats, but we're not "replacing" them after they take the big dirt nap. I'm stuck on weims and boxers now. (Postin' pics soon)

James is nothing like my dad, but he compliments my personality. :)
 

Chris

Member
Messages
19
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1
When I met my girlfriend, I think the first thing that I noticed where her eyes and hands (honestly!), but I didn't stop with that of course. She was nice and funny, but the final kick was: most girls take wine when they go out. She had a beer, and it was larger than mine.
I was deeply impressed.
 

H

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Chris said:
most girls take wine when they go out. She had a beer, and it was larger than mine.
I was deeply impressed.
Sounds like a good catch!!
 

prudence

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688
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Need a break from CDA BS...

Let's focus on the shallow stuff...

A fit girl. She must take care of herself. She must be athletic, and I mean VERY atheltic. She must participate in sports at a competitive level...no recreational BS...otherwise you don't understand or respect the level of dedication involved. I played soccer in college, so she should should have played a sport at that level too.

She must make heads turn. I need to be with someone I believe is equally attractive as myself (I may not be the belle of the ball, but I not a pumpkin either). **Kudos to NH for posting a picture to be rated...I just don't have the balls for it.** Whereever I fall in the "scale," she had better be an equivalent.

Tall, short, big breasts, cute arse, great legs, whatever...I am not going to focus on a specific body part...there are a lot of attractive women out there and there are a lot of things I am attracted to...But I am going to want to see this woman naked A LOT, so attractiveness is important.
 

Dan

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Chris said:
most girls take wine when they go out. She had a beer, and it was larger than mine. I was deeply impressed.
Was it a wimpy Warsteiner, or was it a good bock or altbier? If my date drank a rauchbier, I'd be very impressed.
 

prudence

Cyburbian
Messages
688
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20
Dan said:
Was it a wimpy Warsteiner, or was it a good bock or altbier? If my date drank a rauchbier, I'd be very impressed.
Let's not forget a good cigar.
 

Jeff

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4,161
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prudence said:
Need a break from CDA BS...

Let's focus on the shallow stuff...

A fit girl. She must take care of herself. She must be athletic, and I mean VERY atheltic. She must participate in sports at a competitive level...no recreational BS...otherwise you don't understand or respect the level of dedication involved. I played soccer in college, so she should should have played a sport at that level too.

She must make heads turn. I need to be with someone I believe is equally attractive as myself (I may not be the belle of the ball, but I not a pumpkin either). **Kudos to NH for posting a picture to be rated...I just don't have the balls for it.** Whereever I fall in the "scale," she had better be an equivalent.

Tall, short, big breasts, cute arse, great legs, whatever...I am not going to focus on a specific body part...there are a lot of attractive women out there and there are a lot of things I am attracted to...But I am going to want to see this woman naked A LOT, so attractiveness is important.


Finally, someone who has the balls to say they want a hot chick...no beating around the bush with personality, intelligence, etc...

I like hot chicks too...and if I'd be embarassed to introduce her to my friends...she isn't good enough. Looks will get your foot in the door...personality is second.
 

Chris

Member
Messages
19
Points
1
Was it a wimpy Warsteiner, or was it a good bock or altbier? If my date drank a rauchbier, I'd be very impressed.
a Weizen. One plain Liter.
but that rauchbier girl must be some catch really. worth her weight in gold.
 

donk

Cyburbian
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6,970
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30
I like tall, skinny girls.

Smell is important too, nice soap/shampoo or body lotion, not too "perfumy" not too patchouli either.

Tall is preferable (5'8 plus), I'm 6'2 ish and don't like to bend too much.

Hair colour, variable, prefer dark blonde/light brunettes.

Physically fit helps (love abs, even though mine are hiden by winter fat right now), cyclist even better .

Reader (not romance novels), funny, domineering/dominating ok (not too the point of Bitchy though), independent ( I don't like clingy people), not too judemental (I havbe lots of flaws and am aware of most of them) and can take my parents and friends (few and far between).

I'm with Dan, even though she is none of the above(physically at least), Jeanne Garafolo does something for me.

I think I am a 6-7 in appearance(Mary Poppins sound right?) I dress up much better then my everyday appearance.


[EDIT] After rereading this post and thinking somemore about the girls I have gone out with and those that I am attracted too, I'm not so sure that I have a type. I have seen a few short, dark haired, slightly over weight girls that are appealing on some level. Maybe this is why i am single, can't choose. [/EDIT]
 
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Mastiff

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7,181
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Wait now... Are we talkin' bone hoppin'? Or long haul... To me, those can be WAY different.

The last of the best was a 21 y.o. co-ed, short blonde hair, medium (real) and perky chest... and just a nice "hardbody". I mean, she was married to an ex-marine fireman (don't ask), and what she wanted with me I have no idea... but hey, it was a real... erm... okay enough.

The reason I wouldn't want a LTR with her? She couldn't have a decent discussion on anything! The two things I have to have are intelligence and common sense.
 
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