Is the grass always greener on the other side?

[Habanero]

I'm having difficulites at work. A co-worker up here is so utterly rude, obnoxious, egotistical, and well, simply behaves like a beast. This person can be heard reaming people on the phone thru out the office, yet no one does anything. This person said "it's not like I told you to shut up" to a citizen at a neighborhood meeting. This person has called citizens back and told them to apologize because he/she felt the message ws rude. This person and I have the same position yet he/she forwards Use Permit calls because "processing those cases is a waste of a degree" as are variance cases. This person also told me my future last name was "retarded" and having a child was like not taking a sh*t for 9 months. Yes, this person is a beast.

But, more than that, I hate coming to work because I have to hear this person. The negativity coming from that office brings everyone in the office down. I don't understand it, everyone knows, yet the only answer is "that's just [name]". I'm tired, and honestly, as my age, I shouldn't be tired. I know it pays the bills, but I'm emotionally drained. The really good days at work are when this person isn't there. I just don't know if I'm fooling myself into thinking a different place would be better, or if every office has their own beast.



ack: edit: I'm not pregnant, this was said to a good friend of mine who was pregnant at the time. However the statement has been reiterated and I would prefer to think an amazing thing, such as creating life, is not so much like a lump of poo.

 

[SkeLeton]

If you post a pic of him/her for us to photoshop, could that make you feel better? :-}
Who knows mabye a good one comes out and you can print it and tape it on his/her door

 

[el Guapo]

Been there - I still am with one very special co-worker. I just suffer in silence and await deliverance in one of its many forms. I hope it comes in the form of Vigo the Carpathian. I wish I had the answer. If I find it i will come and post it here. Best wishes dear.

 

[Big Easy King]

Damn! That's very unfortunate. Take a stand and let that person know that Cyburbanites will be paying her/him a visit. ;-)

 

[Mastiff]

Suffering in silence is not always the answer.

Those personal attacks are not permitted by law, as they create a hostile work environment. You say this is a co-worker, and not a superior? If that is the case, a memo is in order. I suggest something along the following:

To: The Ass
From: Habenero
Re: On the job probelems
Cc: The boss & the BIG boss


Ass,

I have several concerns regarding professionalism and your behavior as it affects me in the workplace. The following situations are problematic, and being so, harm my ability to work to my full potential.

1) A personal attack, stating my last name will be "retarded" is unacceptable.

2) Any discussion of my pregnancy is unwelcome from you, due to your personal views regarding the issue.

3) Your manner regarding the public hurts the departments ability in working with these same people. They expect us to be resonsive and helpful, yet, from you, they are treated to spiteful and beligerent.

4) Use permit and variance calls, unless directed by a superior, should be handled by all department staff, and not passed to another employee because you do not wish to handle them.

In all, this makes for a very hostile work environment, and while I do not wish to file a formal complaint, I will do so unless these unacceptable behaviors change.

 

[Zoning Goddess]

Haven't any of the reamed-out citizens called your council/commission or administrative higher-ups to complain? That usually gets fast action.

Can you band the rest of the office together to confront your boss about the beast?

 

[SW MI Planner]

That sucks. Does the staff receive complaints from the public about her? If so, I'd recommend that they call the supervisor or even council or manager.
Has any of the other staff talked to a supervisor about it? It is unacceptable for anyone to just blow it off because 'that's the way they are'. I'd keep going higher up until someone listens.

 

[Habanero]

They get complaints, but it justs ends up in a little smack on the wrist.

I also just found out that this person has been telling other co-workers I've been bad mouthing them which is entirely untrue.

I don't want to go talk to my boss right now, I'm too emotional today and I can't exactly walk in and have a break down.

 

[Tranplanner]

Hmmm...the Habanero I know wouldn't be taking this kind of crap, from anyone! What's going on?

If this person isn't your supervisor, or isn't the supervisor's pet - then I say it's time your office turned into a free-fire zone, and you all gang up on this a$$hole and make his/her life a living hell.

Sorry, I'm just bitter today.

Mastiff's memo sounds good to me. Depending on how your employer handles such things, you all may end up in "counselling" together. I got dragged into sessions like that at a previous employer where my co-worker and my boss just couldn't get along. It was not fun.

And no, the grass is very rarely greener on the other side. It just looks that way.

 

[Habanero]

Hmmm...the Habanero I know wouldn't be taking this kind of crap, from anyone! What's going on?

If this person isn't your supervisor, or isn't the supervisor's pet...

ding ding ding. this person goes into the supervisor's office and boasts about the "shut up" comment and NOTHING happens.

I usually don't take this sh*t, I'm just tired of everything. I've got a ton of other stress between the wedding planning, family stress, the holidays coming up, and now this crap.

 

[Duke Of Dystopia]

FREE FIRE ZONE! If the other person isn't getting into trouble, you wont either. Just use mastifs memo first so you have firm ground to stand on as the conflict escelates. Might take a bit longer, but as the wheels inexorably turn they will CRUSH the borish bastard in the cogs of the machine. If nobody else is saying anything, they sure as hell will root for you and back you up, its thier shot to stick a knife in that pig.

As far as pregnancy goes, I am glad I am male. The two times I saw the miracle of birth it looked REALLY painful! Just make sure your husband takes his rings off before he holds your hands, you will bend his rings out of shape while still on his hands. Also, he better be ready for your contractions because you ARE strong enough to break his hand by squeazing.

Good Luck!

 

[Zoning Goddess]

Could you possibly tape one of the beast's rants and play it back for the boss? Maybe if he/she actually heard how she sounds it would make an impression. I know it sounds low, but if she's really getting to you...

 

[Jeff]

I would cut and past your first post in this thread, put it in a memo to HR, the boss, his boss, and co worker, as well as any union shop stewards, ACLU, NAACP, etc.

Take it from there.

 

[tsc]

headphones.....loud music...

 

[giff57]

I like the free fire zone idea, and malicious pranks. Some vaseline on the phone earpiece would be awesome. Get the rest of the gang in on it.

 

[Suburb Repairman]

I like the free fire zone idea, and malicious pranks. Some vaseline on the phone earpiece would be awesome. Get the rest of the gang in on it.

Why Vaseline? Let's do it right with a little superglue!

Seriously, I would do a memo to cover your own ass and then if nothing happens, free fire! By your supervisor not taking action, he/she is condoning that kind of behavior and is just as guilty. I would take it up the chain, even if that means you need to talk to councilmen/mayor. I can't believe none of the citizens have called up councilmen or commissioners! That BS about taking citizen calls, etc being a waste of a degree is completely wrong! The reason you have to write and make so many presentations in college is so you can learn how to communicate in a professional manner with coworkers and customers.

I hope it gets better for you out there.

 

[martini]

I like Mastiff idea of going the officail route. Once that is established, I think the free-fire zone rules would be ineffect. You're covered by the initail letter, and anything you can try to do to get said offending ass fired is open game.

 

[otterpop]

I really know what you are talking about. Just last week when one of my coworkers took a job in another department, I took over his office space. I went in knowing the downside - I have to share an office with the department's resident curmudgeon. This man is the very definition of petty and petulant. He comes and goes when he pleases him. Rarely talks to anyone. He is rude and arrogant to coworkers and the public alike. I have lost count of how many applicants have been assigned to me becuase they have bad experiences working with him.

Get this - over the weekend between when his former office mate left and I moved in, this guy moved the partition six inches to his benefit. When I called him on it, he denied he had done it. He said the IT guys must have done it when they were installing his new computer (which he got three weeks before). Rather than get in an argument with him, I decided to bide my time and make my case. I confirmed that the computer installers and the building maintenance people had not moved the partition (as well as desks, bookshelves, a filing cabinets, and two computers), and I had the former coworker confirm that the partition had been moved and said migration occurred after he left. Having these confirmations and having the marks on the carpet where the partition had been, I told the planning director and she took a look. She said that the partition was going back where it had been.

It was only ten square feet, but I also viewed it as a challenge. Akin to when a wild animal pees on a tree to establish territory. If I had let it stand, he would have felt he was the alpha dog, so to speak (the guy is a sled dog enthusiast). Besides I need that six inches to get more easily around the filing cabinet.

I will give him this much. His petty land grab did make me laugh all day. In fact every one in the office had quite a good time at his expense.

I do think the grass is always greener. Every workplace seems to have one major jerk who seems to get away with everything. Problem with being a planner is you work in a one or two shop town. It isn't like other professions where you can go to the competition.

 

[Cardinal]

Like everyone else said, document it and report it to supervisors. If they are any good, they will see the impact this person is having on you (and other employees) and put an end to it. The second phase of the assault should include you and all of the other employees immediately confronting this person as soon as s/he does something inappropriate. Turn it into a chance to make them look like a fool, especially if it can be done so management notices. Lastly (unofficially and off work) casually mention that you have a large number of guns and other ordnance and that sometimes people piss you off so much that you lie in bed for hours dreaming of interesting ways to torture and kill them.

 

[The Irish One]

You should have a Cyburbanite to call your boss and rip this ass to shreds. Who wants to do it?

Hope things get better.

 

[Suburb Repairman]

You should have a Cyburbanite to call your boss and rip this ass to shreds. Who wants to do it?

Oh! Oh! Pick me! Pick me! [hand raised high and straining]

 

[Rem]

Whenever people have complained about the inappropriate things I do around the office, management usually .....

Actually I have been on the other end of dealing with this kind of issue (ie. resolving a complaint made by an employee).

IMO you should not be sending your memo to the offender but only to your boss. The memo should detail specific complaints and what steps you took to let the offender know you viewed the actions/comments etc. as inappropriate. It is not your role to be the stand in supervisor and call your co-worker on the problem. In the event your boss doesn't deal with your complaint to your satisfaction within a reasonable period, escalate your complaint to your boss's boss detailing also your dissatisfaction with your direct boss's response. We have adopted policies and procedures for this kind of thing (it is reasonably common, though less so with professional staff, more so with technical/operational staff) - if you have something similar, hold them to account against that policy.

Your real problem is with your boss not the fellow employee. If your boss was doing his/her job properly - you and your co-workers would not have a problem. You should be creating a paper trail of the ineffective action of your boss in managing your co-worker. If nothing else you can use this evidence in your worker's compensation claim (if you guys have such a system).

 

[SW MI Planner]

Great advice Rem!

 

[donk]

I'm with rem, a nice poisoned workplace suit could set it up so you never have to work again.

I keep my list in my top desk drawer.

 

[Gedunker]

EEOC

I'm with rem, a nice poisoned workplace suit could set it up so you never have to work again.

My experience is that the EEOC will likely not set anybody up for life. When my wife was wrongfully terminated this past year from a verified "hostile work environment", we settled with her previous employer for enough money to give us a cushion in case of some disaster, but definitely not what we thought we should get.

Neither of us are litigious, but her self-esteem made it essential that we pursue the cause.

I would follow the advice in the previous posts, rem's being very good. If you know an attorney, I'd talk to him/her informally also.

 

[Downtown]

crap hon, i'm so sorry. but i think REM gave you great advice. i think you need to let your boss know that this is a serious issue that needs to be rectified ASAP, and i think Mastiff's memo is perfect.

 

[Mastiff]

I'm about to file one of those myself... on my wife;s former employers.

 

[pete-rock]

I'm having difficulites at work. A co-worker up here is so utterly rude, obnoxious, egotistical, and well, simply behaves like a beast.

I sympathize with you. I quit my job just a month ago because that same person was my boss. I was called incompetent (maybe that's true), stupid bastard, and mentally disturbed, among other things. Others in the office were called that and worse. The boss would openly discuss his negative thoughts about other workers with me; I wondered what he told others about me.

I am far from being some New Agey kinda guy. But there is something to be said about the negative aura that permeates the places where people like this spread their venom. I completely lost motivation to work in that kind of environment (a passive-aggressive streak?) and decided my destiny lie elsewhere.

In other words, I'm available for any "dirty work" you may need.

 

[Habanero]

Thanks everyone. I'm gathering everything together and documenting it to take to my boss. I honestly think the reason is hasn't been dealt with is because this person would try petty things to make everyone more miserable. Nice person, really.

I also think the reason they went to another employee and said I was talking about them is because I had called this person out in front of the entire staff last week. The vile person was eavesdropping in on a conversation and then stated I was giving an attitude to someone on the phone (actually I wasn't, not even close) I responded, "it's not like I told him to shut up" (a direct quote of this person telling a citizen "it's not like I told you to shut up"). So basically, this person got their feelings hurt and went to another employee to "turn them against me".