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It's official: God is a Republican

Dan

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From the Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel:

NORFOLK, Va. -- Pat Robertson said Friday that God told him President Bush will be re-elected in a landslide.

``I think George Bush is going to win in a walk,'' the religious broadcaster said on his ``700 Club'' program on the Virginia Beach-based Christian Broadcasting Network, which he founded.

``I really believe I'm hearing from the Lord it's going to be like a blowout election in 2004. It's shaping up that way,'' Robertson said.

``The Lord has just blessed him,'' Robertson said of Bush. ``I mean, he could make terrible mistakes and comes out of it. It doesn't make any difference what he does, good or bad, God picks him up because he's a man of prayer and God's blessing him.''

The God I acknowledge doesn't endorse political candidates, Democrat, Republican, or People's Socialist Worker's Revolutionary Party. If God is really a far right-wing Republican, or a far left-wing Democrat for that matter, I think it's high time I start worshipping a new deity. Ph'nglui mglw'nafg Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn! Cthulhu fhtagn!
 

ludes98

Cyburbian
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New levels of ridiculous. Man of prayer? Dubya: "Lord please don't let my daughters do the things I did."
 

Chet

Cyburbian Emeritus
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I almost coughed up a lung reading your post Dan. the former gamer in me says "Thanks!"
 

GeogPlanner

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this explains a lot. i just love how robertson blindly endorses a man who prays. i'm going to start praying at work and see if i can get fire and brimstone to rain down on developments that do not have the required permits.
 

SkeLeton

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4,853
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These guys never stop surprising me...
God apparently is biased to the Right wing parties around the world... Back here in Chile, last year (2003) the leader of the biggest right-wing party publicly said that the "talked to the dead founder of that party" and that he said that there was a complot against them. You can imagine that the Chilean "liberal media" was hard at work photoshopping his head to scenes from the "Sixth Sense" and joking a lot about it.
 

Dan

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GeogPlanner said:
i'm going to start praying at work and see if i can get fire and brimstone to rain down on developments that do not have the required permits.

Not going to happen. You see, your liberal planner prayers aren't going to do much against the even stronger conservative Republican developer prayers of protection and profit. Besides, you've probably seen the text forward about Noah's Ark and building permits.

Sorry, but I think the Christian God is a Republican. Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn! Cthulhu fhtagn!
 

el Guapo

Capitalist
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Tollerance is as tollerance does..

LMAO at the liberal hate fest. Seriously, vent the toxins, it will be good for you. Breathe in...expel the hate...love all people, except traditional Christians. Why not? They hate you, at least you think they do, and they are all closeminded bigots, right? Yeah, its ok to pick on them, "I'm still a good liberal, because I only hate bigots, and what is wrong with that?"

{Sigh} With some liberals tollerance for all only stops at the the church door...

Bow your heads, and join me in prayer please:
May the God of likeminded liberals bless your new year and smite the Christian bigots, especially Shrub and his henchmen, Rush Limbaugh, Dick Cheney, Halliburton, and those who dare challenge the one True Trinity of Multiculturalism, Diversity for Diverisy's sake, and our most holy Political Correctness.

Please smite those evil-ones that post contrary opinions that vary from the DNC's talking points as presented in the writings of Maureen Dowd and Molly Ivins. Delvier us from Fox News and all others stopping the liberal dream of a rainbow society, Amen.



I'm rolling on the floor enjoying this. Thanks guys. I needed a good lesson in tollerance. :)

 

el Guapo

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PS, I was at church on Christmas Eve - Yes I'm a C&E Catholic and the holminy was "God is with us." I kept thinking back to those lovely belt buckles I found in Germany when I was digging up WWII ordnance. It was hard not to chuckle, especially when he would get animated.

Ja, Gott ist mit uns, und arbeit macht frei.

 

JNA

Cyburbian Plus
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Cardinal said:
I think we can safely add that god is a Packer fan.

And is a Colts fan also.
And is a LSU fan also.
 
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Dan

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Godwin's Law evoked in eight posts! :)

God being a Republican Bush supporter, I think he's a Dallas Cowboys fan. God doesn't believe supporting cities in teams in unholy, sinful, liberal states like Wisconsin.

Oh yeah ... God doesn't like paisley either.
 

otterpop

Cyburbian
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When I think about spending eternity in Heaven with the likes of Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell, I am reminded of a "Night Gallery" episode I once saw. The premise being that in the afterlife there was an elderly couple and a hippie in a room. The couple talked incessantly about their lives and showed home movies. The hippie was of course in misery. The couple was in Heaven and the hippie was in Hell.

If Pat Robertson really has God's ear, I think when I die I'll ask to go down to Hell to be with the rest of my friends. Like Twain said "I will take Heaven for the climate and Hell for the society."
 
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Seabishop

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Didn't Pat Robertson run for president himself in '88? I'm sure he prayed more than Bush and didn't come close to winning. Bush will probably win, especially if Dean gets nominated so I don't think Robertson's proclaimation is exactly going out on a limb.
 
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