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PlannerGirl

Cyburbian Plus
Messages
6,370
Points
29
eww Scruffy looks up and one of the throw pillows on that couch looks like Auntie Sue-its STUFFED critter!

eeeeek!
 

NHPlanner

A shadow of my former self
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
10,139
Points
45
ts corbitt said:
but alas... he saw he was just in anther deparment of the Nebraska furntiure Mart.. so he squeezed his little eyes harder and blink.. found himself.....

staring down a cavalcade of elderly riding on Segways to manage themselves around the cavernous 712,000 square feet of warehouse.

"Look out Sonny!" screached one of the blue haired women, as....
 

donk

Cyburbian
Messages
6,961
Points
31
as he contemplated his death, he recognized that a portion of her fur coat was actually his long lost brother, skippy. He felt relieved that he would be meeting with Skippyonce again, unless he could somehow escape the mesmorizing lights of the segway rolling toward him at 3.5 miles per hour.
 

Zoning Goddess

Cyburbian
Messages
13,843
Points
40
donk said:
as he contemplated his death, he recognized that a portion of her fur coat was actually his long lost brother, skippy. He felt relieved that he would be meeting with Skippyonce again, unless he could somehow escape the mesmorizing lights of the segway rolling toward him at 3.5 miles per hour.

Just then El Guapo rolled by on his armored Segway, grabbing Scruffy, as he blasted the blue-haired ladies on their Segways, rightfully noting that they were revenge-mongering elderly from the PIA that had just been invaded by Cyburbia.
 

Queen B

Cyburbian
Messages
3,174
Points
25
And who was in the lead but our Segway KING...BUDGIE!!!!
And he says to Scruffy.....
 

Duke Of Dystopia

Cyburbian
Messages
2,699
Points
24
Scruffy closes his eyes tight in order shut out his impending doom. He hears a thump and a horible screaching sound. The blue haired old woman had nicked a corner of a heavy raught iron bed which caused the vile segway machine of blue haired death to carreen wildly away from scruufy and save his life!
 

biscuit

Cyburbian
Messages
3,899
Points
25
Zoning Goddess said:
Just then El Guapo rolled by on his armored Segway, grabbing Scruffy, as he blasted the blue-haired ladies on their Segways, rightfully noting that they were revenge-mongering elderly from the PIA that had just been invaded by Cyburbia.

Only having two hands, El Guapo was unable to fight off the angry, elderly Australian planners, safely hold Scruffy and drive his pimped- out Segway of Doom all at the same time. Reluctantly acknowledging this he handed the controls over to the frightened racoon hoping and praying that the Albanians had the foresight to teach him to drive. Scruffy immediatly hit the Segway's turbo boosters sending him and El Guapo, still firing his guns, careening wildly at 150mph through Nebraska Furniture Mart.

Just then Scruffy noticed an exit and pointed the Segway in it's direction. Little did he know, however, that on the other side of the door awaited...
 
Messages
7,628
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29
biscuit said:

Just then Scruffy noticed an exit and pointed the Segway in it's direction. Little did he know, however, that on the other side of the door awaited...

Prudence, still on horseback, facing off with the half-dozen Albanians, still trying to get clear of their parachute harnesses.
 

BKM

Cyburbian
Messages
6,461
Points
29
Which were hopelessly snarled, because everyone knows that the Albanian economy is based totally on smuggling and contraband-and those parachute harnesses were NOT manufactured to the demanding standards of the U. S. Air Force.

Finally clawing himself free, the Albanian's mad leader snarled to the surprised El Guapo "Long Live the Revolution, you Capitalist Tool." El Guapo channeling the free market-loving spirit of gkmo6 and seeing a marketing opportunity, offered to connect the Albanians with a good source of contraband corn whiskey, produced by a still only a few miles away, in the midst of his beloved flat prairies....
 

biscuit

Cyburbian
Messages
3,899
Points
25
BKM said:
... El Guapo channeling the free market-loving spirit of gkmo6 and seeing a marketing opportunity, offered to connect the Albanians with a good source of contraband corn whiskey, produced by a still only a few miles away, in the midst of his beloved flat prairies....

The Albanian leader found this to be an intriguing proposition and agreed to possibly spare the life of Scruffy should El Guapo come through with the corn whiskey hook-up. So he and his band of Albanian revolutionaries followed El Guapo and Scruffy through the rolling Kansas praries to the site of the still to sample the goods.

After reaching the still El Guapo passed out sample upon sample to all who were threre, including Scruffy. After a coupole of hours of whiskey drinking little Scruffy found himself nine-eyed drunk and slightly nauseous from the jar of pickled eggs he had eaten only hours earlier. The drunken racoon then went behind a tree to pass out he heard a rustle in the bushes...
 

BKM

Cyburbian
Messages
6,461
Points
29
. The drunken racoon then went behind a tree to pass out he heard a rustle in the bushes...

Only to find a strange scene: James Howard Kunstler, dressed in the robes of an Old Testament prophet, and a band of toga-clad neotraditionalists were holding a seminar in a miniature Greek Theatre they had somehow carved out of a Kansas thicket. When he gazed upon the drunken racoon, James Howard Kunstler shouted out "repent, furry child of the urban-suburban fringe, and get thyself to a walk up townhouse in downtown Kansas City."
 

Cityscape Dreamer

Cyburbian
Messages
31
Points
2
biscuit said:
The Albanian leader found this to be an intriguing proposition and agreed to possibly spare the life of Scruffy should El Guapo come through with the corn whiskey hook-up. So he and his band of Albanian revolutionaries followed El Guapo and Scruffy through the rolling Kansas praries to the site of the still to sample the goods.

After reaching the still El Guapo passed out sample upon sample to all who were threre, including Scruffy. After a coupole of hours of whiskey drinking little Scruffy found himself nine-eyed drunk and slightly nauseous from the jar of pickled eggs he had eaten only hours earlier. The drunken racoon then went behind a tree to pass out he heard a rustle in the bushes...

and to his horror, holding a Magic 8-ball in his left hand and a Pink Floyd the Wall album in his right, and wearing nothing but an American Flag thong, stood......
 

BKM

Cyburbian
Messages
6,461
Points
29
Oh oh. We have an interdimensional rift here.

Maybe Scruffy saw BOTH things. :)

Could Kunstler be holding an eight-ball or - is he holding two tablets carved with the site plan of Seaside?

Stay tuned.
 

el Guapo

Capitalist
Messages
5,986
Points
31
It was Arnold - Naked (the thong was sheer - but not too sheer) as God had intended. Holding the magic 8-Ball and the remastered Gold-Edition of the LP Pink Floyd's the Wall. Arnold bellowed “Tear Down this Wall!" This left everyone puzzled because they were obviously in the middle of a Kansas thicket. Quietly Scruffy said, Arnold; James, James; Arnold. The union of discountenance was now complete. James quietly said, "Nice work in T2." Just then an ACLU lifetime membership card dropped from el Guapo's back pocket. Arnold screamed....
 

el Guapo

Capitalist
Messages
5,986
Points
31
El Guapo yelled back "Yes, Arnold it is. I took it off of scruffy when he got out of the Albanian bath house. We can't condone that sort of thing...not that there is anything wrong with it..." Just then Prudence road by, bareback of course, and said...
 

biscuit

Cyburbian
Messages
3,899
Points
25
el Guapo said:
El Guapo yelled back "Yes, Arnold it is. I took it off of scruffy when he got out of the Albanian bath house. We can't condone that sort of thing...not that there is anything wrong with it..." Just then Prudence road by, bareback of course, and said...

"Scruffy! You slutty, lying racoon! You said things were over between you and Kunstler and now I see you here with him and Arnold, and a band of drunken Albanian revolutionaries. I should have known not to trust you. Why I've got a mind to kill you...I'm gonna kill you racoon!"

"Hold up now," interjected el Guapo, "If there's one thing I don't want to witness today it's you on horseback killing a racoon. Besides, Scruffy here has has been a brave, albeit irresponsible, patriot and his protection is vital to this nations security."

Just then the motley crew of travelers heard the sound of pounding music coming from a car being driven reclessly into the Kansas thicket. It was none other than...
 

PlannerGirl

Cyburbian Plus
Messages
6,370
Points
29
Good old GW Bush dressed in his military *well someones* uniform

"now settle down there boys, this is an Amer'kn Her-o. Com'n Scruffy let me show you the White House"
 

Duke Of Dystopia

Cyburbian
Messages
2,699
Points
24
Scruffy is released and begins to move toward the president. Imeadiatly the secret servicemen jump to place themselves between Scruffy and the president. They Grab the president, throw him back in the car while restraining the president.

The lead agent tells El Guapo "Scruffy may come, but he must be held in quarantine for 31 days, 9 hours, 27 minutes and 37 seconds. To prove that he does not have the monkey pox before he sees the white house......
 

JNA

Cyburbian Plus
Messages
26,673
Points
70
oh no!
not the Pet Psychiatrist who was a Veterinarian,
or was it to be the
Taxidermist....
 
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H

Cyburbian
Messages
2,846
Points
24
…yes it was Bob's Taxidermy where you snuff ‘em & they stuff em’! Scuffy looked around, and in the corner, could it be, no it wasn’t, YES it was, his long lost twin brother Huffy! Stuffed to the T and for sale at 14$…
 

Queen B

Cyburbian
Messages
3,174
Points
25
Scruffy walks over to his brother tears streaming from his eyes. This has been a hard trip for the old Scruf. First seeing his mom and now his brother, both past on.
Scruffy boldly sucks it up and knocks the stuffing out of his brother. Stuffing goes flying everywhere as the Secret Service try to keep the stuffing from reaching GW. Through the stuffing flies a watch a gold watch. Scruffy takes a low dive for the watch as he exclaims " Damn, I have always wanted to do that to him!"
There is a scramble for the watch...
 
Messages
7,628
Points
29
Huston said:
…yes it was Bob's Taxidermy where you snuff ‘em & they stuff em’! Scuffy looked around, and in the corner, could it be, no it wasn’t, YES it was, his long lost twin brother Huffy! Stuffed to the T and for sale at 14$…

OT: there must be some kind of law against that. Can you combine two businesses like that? Sick, sick, sick.

Now, someone else get us back On Topic..
 

BKM

Cyburbian
Messages
6,461
Points
29
Huffy...Huffy? El Guapo shouted in a blazing soliloquy of non-sequitariousness ( :) ). THAT is the solution to my quest for an affordable bicycle.
 

biscuit

Cyburbian
Messages
3,899
Points
25
BKM said:
Huffy...Huffy? El Guapo shouted in a blazing soliloquy of non-sequitariousness ( :) ). THAT is the solution to my quest for an affordable bicycle.

Huffy... It all took Scruffy back to a more innocent time when he and his now stuffed brother rode through the forest on his own bike. All the memories were coming back to him. The multi-colored streamers on the handlebars the, the click of the chain as he peddled, the special feeling he got while on the banana seat. Those were indeed good and innocent times before...
 

BKM

Cyburbian
Messages
6,461
Points
29
the forest was converted into a subdivision of extra-wide streets, big lots, and culverted stormwater runoff, all to provide more room for "hobbies" and to enable the evil developers fronted by Mike D to make more profits. And...this devleopment will not burn when attacked by the ELF-for the houses are all built of solid, fire-proof stone blocks. Scruffy ponders sadly the fate of his childhood woods, and wonders where the nudists' colony that once frolicked in those woods has gone. . .

(God, is my purple prose out of control, or what :( )
 

giff57

Corn Burning Fool
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
5,456
Points
34
BKM said:
the nudists' colony that once frolicked in those woods has gone. . .


Most of the nudists had taken up repectable jobs at Nebraska Furniture Mart. Because of the danger of Seniors on Segways, they had all but given up their nudist ways.

Seniors on Segways was the highlight of the annual Kansas senior pride parade. The parade was fabulous. Beside SOS there were ..........
 

BKM

Cyburbian
Messages
6,461
Points
29
representatives of the Gated Retirement Community Lawn Inspection Corps (GRECLIC), and . . .
 

ilikefish0

Cyburbian
Messages
204
Points
9
BKM said:
representatives of the Gated Retirement Community Lawn Inspection Corps (GRECLIC), and . . .
a bunch of old men on a front-stoop-shaped float whittling and talking about the war and railroads. They were beginning to discuss the local light rail project when...
 

JNA

Cyburbian Plus
Messages
26,673
Points
70
background: in the greedy rush to develop after clear cutting the forest and channelizing the streams, they build the stone houses on filled lots and with an extra 4 rows of block to meet the FPG elevation required, THUS creating the front stoopes; but did nothing to elevate the streets, so when the hurricane moved inland....

oh by the way
does the this subdivision or hurricane have a names?

back to the story....
there was flooding in the streets and the floats floated toward ....
 
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