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Online dating?

Jessie-J

Cyburbian
Messages
386
Points
12
Okay, so everyone pretty much knows that I am newly single. But this single life isn't all it's cracked up to be. All the best guys are taken, and my strategy to be cooler than their girlfriends isn't working as well as I thought. I thought I had a date tomorrow night but he calls me tonight to "make sure I don't get the wrong idea." Argh. He was a cool guy, I'm hoping he has some single friends...

So, with all the best men taken, I'm thinking about turning to online dating. I know we've discussed this in MANY threads (mods merge if necessary), but what are the pros and cons? I've met people online before but never with the intention of actually dating.

Let's see. where am I going with this....? So, I guess I'm asking what's the ettiquette there? How many times do you talk online before you meet in person? Is there a line you're not supposed to cross as far as information revealed?

Anyone single wanna date? hahaha
 

Duke Of Dystopia

Cyburbian
Messages
2,713
Points
24
I would take you up on the date but I think your half a continent away :)

Seriously though,

1) don't give out any information online that you wouldn't give out to a random stranger you just met (in a bar or otherwise)

2) When you decide to meet, don't envite him to your residence right away to pick you up for the date (see #1)

3) Meet for the first couple of times in a venue with lots of people around. (see #2)

4) Bring a friend if possible that knows how to play polite and proper wingman!

Good Luck! :)
 

NHPlanner

A shadow of my former self
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
9,961
Points
41
As I mentioned before, I met my wife through an on-line personal.....

We talked for several months on-line before we actually met.

Now that I'm divorcing, I out of sheer curiosity, placed another freebie online ad, just to see what kind of response I got....and I actually met someone in a similar situation that I am (separated, divorcing)....we got together to talk, just because it was nice to be able to talk to someone that could relate to my situation.

All in all, you'll find it to be a mixed bag I think....but what I find nice, is that you generally can end up meeting some nice people that end up being friends....
 

Duke Of Dystopia

Cyburbian
Messages
2,713
Points
24
Jessie-J said:
.....So, with all the best men taken, I'm thinking about turning to online dating. ......


Its been what, a week? week and a half? If it was that easy none of us would have these issues :) Also, I am not convinced that women have any more clue as to what constitutes a "Good Man" than men have of knowing what a "Good Woman is". Please define what a "Good Man" is, maybe I can learn something from it (actually a serious question) :)
 

Super Amputee Cat

Cyburbian
Messages
2,318
Points
32
I for one see absolutely no value in On line dating service whatsoever (other than to perhaps get laid to which for many is the be-all end all of existance)

I find on line ads extremely annoying, offensive and downright stupid. As I mentioned in another post, most of them feature some brainless floozie with a vacuous smile and taglines such as "Are you single and like to mingle?" or "Get Your Flirt On!" I mean how absolutely retarted can ads get! Basically, from the pictures and lines presented in these ads, it would be hard for anyone to argue that they are catering to anything more than market segment characterized by meatheads and frat boys out to bed stupid, goldigging women.

I find the ads extremely offensive by their sheer numbers and visability alone. You can't get away from them..they are all over the web. A year ago there were only a few sites that had them pop up with any frequency. Now they have exploded onto the scene and are everywhere: On Yahoo, Hotmail, MSN and even sites such as Classmates.com. And proving that absolutely nothing is sacred anymore, I even saw one on a weather site recently. God help us all the day Cyburbia decides to put up some on line dating ads.

So if you're out to get laid, I guess that I can see the value in them as a venue of cheap, casual sex, if that's what you are into. But to the admakers I say, don't insult me by pretending to make them out to be anything more lofty or high-brow than a glorified porn site. Indeed, that's what is so odious about this whole on-line phenominon - they try so hard to be innocent (to sell you the notion of a relationship) but beneath all that glitz is just a subculture of horny guys and women just out for cheap sex.

Oh, I'm sure there are some legitimate sites out there and many couples have maintained a meaningful relationship after meeting on line.

But I certainly haven't seen it.
 
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Zoning Goddess

Cyburbian
Messages
13,852
Points
39
Re: Re: Re: Online dating?

Super Amputee Cat said:
One with lots of $$$$$$$$

sad to say

The ones around here with $$$$$ have big egos, cell phones permanently attached to their ears, are 40 lbs overweight but expect any woman they date to be anorexic, and assume that because they have $$$$$, the woman will wait on them hand and foot.

On the other hand...

A good guy has a job, a sense of humor, is not a control freak, isn't smothering, makes an attempt to like my friends (as I would his), can cook a few things decently, and doesn't snore too much. Then there are the extras, such as likes family holidays, will kill roaches for me (well, in FL it's important), etc.

Just one goddess's opinion...
 

H

Cyburbian
Messages
2,850
Points
24
Why is it I just find it hard to believe you can’t get a date? I am married, but from what I have seen, there are about 20 male Cyburbanites ready to spend their paychecks on you. :-D

Well, good luck to you, and to repeat what DoD said and BE CAREFUL!!
 

Zoning Goddess

Cyburbian
Messages
13,852
Points
39
P.S. SAC, just as an addendum to your comments, I have looked at the big local online dating site here in central FL, and along with the gold-digging, big-hair women, are also many, many middle-aged men who are ALL looking for "slim" women half their age. I agree. There may be some gems out there, but I haven't seen them. And no, I've never joined an on-line service or responded to an on-line ad.
 

Super Amputee Cat

Cyburbian
Messages
2,318
Points
32
Re: Re: Re: Re: Online dating?

Zoning Goddess said:
A good guy has a job, a sense of humor, is not a control freak, isn't smothering, makes an attempt to like my friends (as I would his), can cook a few things decently, and doesn't snore too much. Then there are the extras, such as likes family holidays...

His family or yours? Trust me, this can be a huge issue
 
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The Irish One

Member
Messages
2,267
Points
25
You're a student right? Skip the online dating thing unless it's just a phase you want to try. What do you like to do? Is there a club for it? My major advice to the lonely single person is to not push the relationship stuff on to yourself and especially guys, especially guys! I run like hell when that stuff comes to fast. Don't go looking for it, get into what you really like, or find a new job, you've got to find common ground with another on natural day to day terms, then you have similar stuff to relate with -it's the best start. Bars are bad.
How long have you been single for? And remember, stop thinking about this so much.
 

Jessie-J

Cyburbian
Messages
386
Points
12
hmmm, maybe I am focusing too much focus on this. I've been single for about a month...and unfortunately, I'm not really out for a full-on relationship... I'm moving home in May....

When I moved to St.Louis, I met my ex right away and have been with him ever since (3 yrs). The ex was a homebody so as a result, I never went out. I have school friends but they are all married and, to add another annoying twist, I go to a private school where the ratio of girls to guys is 23:1.

I have been going out more with the few friends I have that are single and DO go out.... but man, this is just craziness. The men at the bars want me to be a freaking barbie doll-not so much response there. Plus the alcohol factor....

As for characteristics that makes up a good man other than physical attractiveness: intelligence, wit, humor, confidence, open-mindedness, emotion (show some!), perceptiveness, motivation and ambition....These are SINCERE.

I've always thought of online dating as more personal. In chat rooms I see the sexual tones and what-not, but actual online dating??? It seems those would be a bit more serious.
 

tsc

Cyburbian
Messages
1,905
Points
23
a friend of mine who uses match.com has gone to some of the match.com getaways and had a good time. She did meet one guy she was with for about a year.

Another friend of mine has gone to some of those 3-minute speed dating. She met a few through that and dated several of them for months.

I have been in a relationship for 7 years.... so I have no personal experiences on the dating scene....which is a good thing.
 

Jeff

Cyburbian
Messages
4,161
Points
27
Should I pick you up @ 8 or 9 on Friday ?

Don't do the internet dating thing, come on. Just go out to the local bar, get loaded, and you'll meet plenty of eligible bachelors ;)
 

PlannerGirl

Cyburbian Plus
Messages
6,377
Points
29
I met my boyfriend at nerve.com and met the last guy via AOL. In DC its hard to meet up with others due to a very busy lifestyle.

There is nothing "wrong" with my boyfriend or I, we just did not have the time to go out and LOOK for people. We are both in the age group where most of our friends are married or settled down in some way and we both have homes and high stress jobs that keep us on the go. It worked for us but it might not for someone else. Online is a tool that is only as good as your skills at using it.

Ive had good and bad dates, made lots of friends and had a great time all around. I found online to be a no pressure way to meet others. Tell them what you want, when you want and how you want.

chat online for a while, then make phone calls (i use my cell becouse its not tied ot my home address) then meet up somewhere public for coffee. Starbucks is a great online date place.
 

PlannerByDay

Cyburbian
Messages
1,827
Points
24
Here is my $0.02

The stigma of online dating is quickly falling by the wayside. I've done it and had both good and bad dates. I met my current girlfriend on AOL we have been together for just over 3 months and things are going GREAT.

My suggestion is go for it. I'm a busy person, kinda shy when it comes to making the first move (the approach, not the kiss). I posted a honest ad WITHOUT a picture. I indicated I was a professional who worked with the public hence withholding my picture. I think by doing this I got other professionals, who were good people with some level of skeptisism which made the process for both of us a little easier.

My current girlfriend and I only e-mailed each other for about a week before we met. Why waste time, if it is gonna work it's gonna work, if it ain't it ain't. It really is no different than bumping into someone at the bar.

Give it a shot. I have no other advice which others haven't already given, but be honest with the guys about yourself and with what you want.

Good Luck
 

donk

Cyburbian
Messages
6,970
Points
30
I decided to give it a try over the past few weeks. A few nice enough emails, one whack job. I'll wait and see. I think it will depend on what type of site you decide to use. I went to a few and settled on one recomended by a few friends and another web site I read weekly.

The weird thing is that once I decided to give it a try I ran into a girl l recently dated and she wants to hang out some more. So I might not be on line much longer.
 

Tranplanner

maudit anglais
Messages
7,922
Points
37
I tried on-line dating back when I was single and working in a small city in Northern Ontario. It was awful. Met a fair number of people on-line, but the ones I actually ended up meeting were definitely not what they represented themselves to be on-line.

Oh - to answer your questions Jessie, I'd say you have to feel comfortable before meeting them. With some it may only be a couple of emails, others could take a little longer. Be careful, watch for "playas" and make sure you meet in a public place. Once you meet someone, take it like you would as if you were talking to them for the first time - there is so much more that body language, mannerisms, etc. can tell you about a person than electronic chatting. I mean, you'd never know I was a 66 year old chain-smoking woman if I didn't tell you, right? ;)

Good luck - we're all rooting for ya. I wouldn't get too serious if you're planning on moving home soon!
 

DecaturHawk

Cyburbian
Messages
880
Points
22
As an old married fart, I can't offer much in the way of personal experience. However..

You might want to rent a great film called Next Stop Wonderland starring one of the finest actresses in the business, Hope Davis. Although it doesn't deal with on-line dating, it's similar in that the main character meets dates through the personals. Hope Davis plays a single woman who is not having much luck in the dating scene. Her mother places a personal ad for her in the Boston Globe without permission. It's one of those services with a voice mailbox where interested suitors can leave messages. At first, she's mad at her mother for doing this to her, but then is shocked to find that she has something like 84 responses! So, she decides to go out on a few dates. Through this process, she eventually meets the man meant for her, but surprisingly it isn't any of the guys she hooks up with through the personals. See it, it's a great film. I think the best message from the film is that we often find the best things in unlooked-for ways and in unexpected places. Good luck.
 

Cardinal

Cyburbian
Messages
10,080
Points
34
I have used Match to find dates. I am in the in-between age when virtually all of my friends are married with kids, yet all of my co-workers or fellow professionals are older than me (or male). It is very hard to meet eligible women. My experiences with online dating have been mixed, but worthwhile enough to keep trying. I have dated a couple of the women I met for extended periods. There are also a couple that I have met, that while we did not click, we still enjoyed each others company enough to become friends. The reputable sites are not about making sexual hook-ups, but about making good matches. Go ahead, give it a try.
 

Habanero

Cyburbian
Messages
3,241
Points
27
Tranplanner said:
I tried on-line dating back when I was single and working in a small city in Northern Ontario. It was awful. Met a fair number of people on-line, but the ones I actually ended up meeting were definitely not what they represented themselves to be on-line.

Oh - to answer your questions Jessie, I'd say you have to feel comfortable before meeting them. With some it may only be a couple of emails, others could take a little longer. Be careful, watch for "playas" and make sure you meet in a public place. Once you meet someone, take it like you would as if you were talking to them for the first time - there is so much more that body language, mannerisms, etc. can tell you about a person than electronic chatting. I mean, you'd never know I was a 66 year old chain-smoking woman if I didn't tell you, right? ;)

Good luck - we're all rooting for ya. I wouldn't get too serious if you're planning on moving home soon!

So true about misrepresentations- I met a guy whose picture looked good, but then after seeing him I was glad I only met him for coffee.

I met my fiance online and I don't regret doing it. He was the first picture I saw and although I chickened out and didn't contact him for 2 weeks, I finally gave in. We ended up finding out we went to the same place every week for happy hour, went to the same church (okay, more of a God Dome, not a small church), and I had listened to his Dad in the Dallas Symphony for years growing up. I prefered meeting him while sober, I didn't make any stupid decisions and I could recall his name and what he looked like. He even remembered what he wore on our first date and wore the same thing the day he proposed. :)
 

michaelskis

Cyburbian
Messages
20,232
Points
52
NO!

It has not worked for me so far. You might have better luck, but I know that thus far for me, It has not been all that great. My last GF was a wonderful person, but there was just still something missing.

Something about walking into a public place, and two people catching the eye of each other. Right from there, a meaningful bond is created, and from that, a relationship can build.

Although, this web site can be a great confidence builder
 

Dan

Dear Leader
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
18,811
Points
69
I've been active on match.com for a while. Like many here, I'm at a strange age where I'm too old for the bar scene, but too young for the organized singles activity scene. Most friends and acquaintences are married, and the social networks that could be taken advantage of at a younger age (college classes, etc) aren't there anymore.

My experience with online dating has been mixed, but I can say that if it wasn't for that, I'd probably be dating far less. I'm a bit shy, and it's difficult for me to make cold calls of attractive women in supermarkets, stors and so on.

My major peeves with online dating:

Misrepresentation. I've been communicating with a wonderful woman who classified herself as having an "average" weight in her online profile. However, when we met, she definitely wasn't my idea of average; I'd put her at a US size 16 or 18. Personality-wise, we hit if off, but she was larger than me; I just couldn't find myself physically attracted to her.

Many women online misrepresent their apperarance, specifically weight. Most on-line dating services have weight categories; slim/slender, athletic, average, a few extra pounds, and large. Some overweight women classify themselves as "average," to increase the pool of prospective matches, or because they believe it's not a misrepresentation; that the average woman is overweight. A few will lie with the hopes that a man will "see the beauty underneath the surface" when they meet.

My experience with the classifications have been:


Classification: Slim/slender
What men think of in real life: thin or petite
What men expect online: thin or petite
Reality online: petite to WPTH

Classification: Athletic/toned
What men think of in real life: very fit thin/petite to WPTH
What men expect online: very fit thin/petite to WPTH
Reality online: very fit thin/petite to WPTH, stocky rugby player

Classification: Average
What men think of in real life: WPTH
What men expect online: WPTH ± 10-15 pounds
Reality online: slim/slender to smaller BBW

Classification: A few extra pounds
What men think of in real life: WPTH +10-15 pounds
What men expect online: smaller BBW (US size 14-18), stocky rugby player
Reality online: smaller BBW to obese

Classification: Large
What men think of in real life: BBW to obese
What men expect online: obese
Reality online: obese

Many men avoid answering women's profiles without photos, with photos in concealing or baggy clothing, or face shots only. ("Fat girl angle shots.") They've had experiences meeting "average" women with the bodies of Rosie O'Donnell or Camryn Manheim, and they don't want to get burned again.

According to my female friends, men misrepresent themselves by fudging their accomplishments, achievements or career. Many online profiles have income groups, and some men will classify themselves in the next higher income bracket. Others use pictures next to houses, cars and other belongings that they don't own. While women sometimes misrepresent their appearance, men in equal numbers misrepresent attributes relating to their ability to be good providers. Like women, men do it to increase the prospective dating pool; many women's profiles have very high minimum income requirements. .

Some men misrepresent their height. Looking at female profiles, only a small minority of women are looking for men that are shorter than the average height for men in the US (5'9"). A good number of women have a minimum 6' cutoff, even if they're 5' 4" or 5' 5" themselves. Like larger women, men will sometimes add a couple of inches to their height to increase their prospective online dating pool, quality of matches and response rate.

Dan's tidbit of advice #1 - BE HONEST ABOUT YOUR BODY TYPE IN YOUR PROFILE.

More later ... I'm working, and I don't want to post a very long message that can't be easily absorbed.
 

Cardinal

Cyburbian
Messages
10,080
Points
34
Yup, I'll agree with Dan. Be honest and post a picture. The picture should not be more than a year old.
 

donk

Cyburbian
Messages
6,970
Points
30
Question?

How do you politely blow people off on line?

You've emailed a few times and can just tell that there is nothing there, but want to be polite and not seem standoffish?

I know you'll never meet the person, but it is proper to just not respond, or is it?(removed an extra not)
 
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Super Amputee Cat

Cyburbian
Messages
2,318
Points
32
Cardinal said:
Yup, I'll agree with Dan. Be honest and post a picture. The picture should not be more than a year old.

Yeah, but what about less than attractive women who post pictures of their hot friends? I've heard this happens quite often.
 

Cardinal

Cyburbian
Messages
10,080
Points
34
donk said:
Question?

How do you politely blow people off on line?

You've emailed a few times and can just tell that there is nothing there, but want to be polite and not seem standoffish?

I know you'll never meet the person, but it is not proper to just not respond, or is it?

Yup, that's it. Just don't reply to the message.
 

michaelskis

Cyburbian
Messages
20,232
Points
52
Good Man

Also, I would have to say that I am a good man. I have a decent job, a great apartment on a lake, I stay fit (weights 5 days a week, and cardio 3 days a week), I don't smoke, I don't drink past the point of a buzz, I am a Adult Leader for a youth group in my church, I can cook, I am polite, honest, and trustworthy, and getting "SOME" is not even on my top ten list of requirements. I am close with my family and friends, and I keep my apartment and my car clean. I am out going and I have goals and objectives of what I want to achieve. AND YET, I can not find a good woman. (if they exist) What happened to women with elegance and grace?
 

Dan

Dear Leader
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
18,811
Points
69
Cardinal said:
Yup, that's it. Just don't reply to the message.

Don't blow people off! It's rude. I can't tell you how frustrating it it to find what might seem like a perfect match, spend a half hour composing a letter to her, and waiting while it goes unanswered on the other side.

Consider that a guy probably spent some time composing a message to you. Respect their effort in courting you, send a polite but brief "sorry, not interested" note, and then ignore any followup attempts.

If a guy sends you an obvious form letter or something offensive, you can probably ignore him.

Super Amputee Cat said:
Yeah, but what about less than attractive women who post pictures of their hot friends? I've heard this happens quite often.

If a woman is too hot, I don't respond to her profile. She's probably swamped with responses, and I don't want to spend time composing a letter that will get lost among responses from other men who are taller than me, more athletic than me, and more affluent than me. I tend to stay within my league.

I don't send e-mail to women with profiles that don't have solo pictures. Group photos, common with women, is a huge peeve of men looking for love online. Don't post a photo of you and the ex either, or one with him obviously clipped out.
 
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michaelskis

Cyburbian
Messages
20,232
Points
52
Dan said:
I tend to stay within my league.

Don't think that way. Do you think that the Wright Brothers thought that they would just stay on the ground. You never know unless you try. If you are attracted to a woman there is no reason that you should even hesitate about contacting her. I went though HS and even part of College thinking that some women where out of my league. NOW, if I had known, what I know now, I would not have been like that. And if a woman does turn me down, that is ok. Because she is being honest that she is not attracted to me, and it gives me motivation to be a better person, not for her, but for me.
 

donk

Cyburbian
Messages
6,970
Points
30
I'm way outside my league right now, both online and in real life and enjoying the trip.

Go for it, sometimes personality is the most important thing. So I've been told.

Don't forget who this is coming from either
 

NHPlanner

A shadow of my former self
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
9,961
Points
41
donk said:
I'm way outside my league right now, both online and in real life and enjoying the trip.

Fun isn't it? :)

Did that once in college (someone out of my league)....had a blast for a month and a half....
 

PlannerByDay

Cyburbian
Messages
1,827
Points
24
donk said:
I'm way outside my league right now, both online and in real life and enjoying the trip.
[/B]

DITTO

DID it this summer for about 4 months. Loved every minute of it. Some of the best, UM "conversation" I'd ever had. Now I'm back to within my league. Things may have worked out a while longer, but I realized that she was not the right person for me.

Take some chances and be adventurous, Michaelskis comment about the Wright Brothers is perfect.

Don't limit yourself Jessie-J?

Your league or another league, try it out you never know you might be in the wrong league.
 

SkeLeton

Cyburbian
Messages
4,853
Points
26
(I've) Been there, done that. It hasn't worked and got bored of it right away... It's just not worth the time!
 

The Irish One

Member
Messages
2,267
Points
25
I'm dating someone way outside my league and I like it a lot -she's really pretty and I'm a monster with half a beard and puffed hair -none of that matters. we really enjoy each others company. I've dated pretty women occasionally, I'm way off the looks thing now -I need common interest and megapersonality! If she happens to be less than attractive, I don't care.
 

michaelskis

Cyburbian
Messages
20,232
Points
52
I once dated a girl that was a human Barbie doll... and she had the same IQ as the doll. It only lasted 3 dates. No matter how hot they are, if they are as dumb as a rock, it is just not worth bringing them out into public.
 

PlannerGirl

Cyburbian Plus
Messages
6,377
Points
29
looks are way over rated and most folks with the textbook looks are just as shallow as the paper their pics are on. Trust me I work with models quite a bit.

I saw my boyfriends ad online for a month and drooled-hes a total hottie in my book but I did not think hed be intrested. Turns out he thought Id not be intrested in him but finaly one night with a buzz he wrote me a few months later and now we are going to meet his family in December :)
 

Floridays

Cyburbian
Messages
769
Points
21
I tried the online dating stuff a couple of years ago. Met a really nice guy but he lived in the northeast and I lived in the southwest. We got together a few times but it was EXPENSIVE and inconvenient. And we both had jobs that we loved, so...what then? Who moves? Didn't work out.
BUT...my best friend met a guy online and they were married a year ago. Turns out he only lived about 20 miles away, but who knows what the chances of their meeting what have been otherwise.
 

Mastiff

Gunfighter
Messages
7,181
Points
30
Once...

I posted my "description" as:

4'2" (with the hunchback), 389 lbs., bald, with a big goiter and a funny rash.

You would not BELIEVE the amount of replies I got... Most of them commented on a "man with a sense of humor", and went from there...
 

JNL

Cyburbian
Messages
2,449
Points
25
This is quite interesting, getting the male perspective on the whole dating thing. I've been puzzling over it recently. All but one of my friends have partners at the moment which makes it hard to find people to hang out with sometimes.

Jessie-J, I know what you mean about it seems like all the good ones are taken! I met this amazing guy on the weekend and we were getting along really well, then he tells me he separated from his wife only a couple of months ago and already has a serious girlfriend!

I agree with michaelskis, the whole 'out of my league' thing is not at all helpful, and those of you who say you're dating someone who is out of your league - the fact that you're together proves they're not out of your league! I was with a guy for 5 years who had thought I was out of his league. He was wrong.

I have not tried online dating but I'm not sure if it's a big thing here, so don't know what the options would be like.
 

biscuit

Cyburbian
Messages
3,904
Points
25
JNL said:
I have not tried online dating but I'm not sure if it's a big thing here, so don't know what the options would be like.

I fell asleep on the couch watching T.V. last night and when I woke up around 3:00am The E! channel program Wild On was doing a show from Auckland and everyone was walking around town completely naked. I quickly ell back to sleep so I didn't get why they were doing that, but it seems like it may be a good place to find a date.
No surprises I suppose. ;-)
 
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JNL

Cyburbian
Messages
2,449
Points
25
biscuit said:
I The E! channel program Wild On was doing a show from Auckland and everyone was walking around town completely naked. I

When it gets warm enough we have Naked Days where clothes are optional. They're quite popular.















Just kidding!
 

Jessie-J

Cyburbian
Messages
386
Points
12
the leage thing isn't a valid excuse. I can't put myself in to a league. I'm just attracted to who I am attracted to. And if they are intelligent and personality-wise great, then chances for coming home with me are greater... ;) If they're not attracted to me, then it doesn't bother me. I can't be everyone's type.

I'm just frustrated because I've met so many great guys only to be shot down with the "I should tell you my situation so you don't get the wrong idea" or "I don't want to mislead you" speech.

I am going out tonight with a guy that has a girlfriend, but we're still going to meet for a drink because I think he's hot and I think I can be better than his girlfriend. He knows I'm interested and he's still meeting me....what does that tell you?
 

Jeff

Cyburbian
Messages
4,161
Points
27
Jessie-J said:

I am going out tonight with a guy that has a girlfriend, but we're still going to meet for a drink because I think he's hot and I think I can be better than his girlfriend. He knows I'm interested and he's still meeting me....what does that tell you?

Hes a playa.....sounds like something I would do ;)
 

jmf

Cyburbian
Messages
594
Points
17
Jessie-J said:
I am going out tonight with a guy that has a girlfriend, but we're still going to meet for a drink because I think he's hot and I think I can be better than his girlfriend. He knows I'm interested and he's still meeting me....what does that tell you?

does everybody else hear that noise - those are the warning bells - I think you have to think about what you want right now

1. how old are you?
2. how long was your last relationship?
3. are you looking for a good time with no strings attached?
4. are you ready to meet someone to spend a long time with?

OK I'm a bit of a cynic, but a happily married one -

if your answer to question 1 is 22-23 or less, then forget about question 4 - have fun - date the guy with the girlfriend but don't get attached, if he is dating you while he has a girlfriend then expect the same - also don't let them know how much you really like them - be blasé, laid-back make sure they understand you don't NEED them

if your answer to question 2 is 1 year or more, again forget about question 4 - no matter how much you try to be yourself in a relationship you always change abit - take some time to figure yourself out again - get to know your friends again - do what you want when you want for a while - put yourself first

if your answer to 3 is yes, then date the girlfriend guy but refer to the notes for question 1. and if you date him then date other people too - have fun - use the phrase - if I see you I see you, if I don't I don't - and mean it

if your answer to question 4, is yes then the girlfirend guy is probably a bad bet - I am also a strong believer that just when you stop looking someone pops up so I never looked too hard

sorry so long!
 

biscuit

Cyburbian
Messages
3,904
Points
25
Jessie-J said:
I am going out tonight with a guy that has a girlfriend, but we're still going to meet for a drink because I think he's hot and I think I can be better than his girlfriend. He knows I'm interested and he's still meeting me....what does that tell you?


How do you think I hooked up with the girl I'm marrying? ;)
 

Jessie-J

Cyburbian
Messages
386
Points
12
Dude. I am certainly not looking for anything serious, going with the no-strings-attached approach here.

Last night was fun. He's easy to persuade. Let's just say that things had to be stopped before they got out of control. :)
 

H

Cyburbian
Messages
2,850
Points
24
Jessie-J said:
Last night was fun. He's easy to persuade. Let's just say that things had to be stopped before they got out of control. :)

Damn you’re an evil one aren’t you ;)
 
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