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Parental Restrictions

Queen B

Cyburbian
Messages
3,179
Points
25
I think as parents we should collaborate on inqenious parental restrictions we have placed on our children or that were placed on us.
This is inspired from a situation at my house today. The children were asked to pick up, and given GREAT detail about what they should do and told if it was not done then they would loose their electronic priviledges for 24 hours. I of course ask my husband how he was going to regulate that since we both have to work. He got up this morning and ran fishing wire through all the electric prongs. No way for them to quickly restring them should we pop in unannounced.
Then the final kick. I asked him what about when we want to watch this evening. He said 24 hours equaled three 8 hour work days, so they are without electronics for three days rather than to just suffer one day.

This should be interesting!!!
 

nerudite

Cyburbian
Messages
6,544
Points
30
Wow... that's a pretty elaborate plan. We are trying the $5 allowance starting point. For that they are responsible for making their bed and helping with the dishes... and then, there's the deductions: they get charged 25 cents for each time they leave a room without turning off the light, t.v., etc. 25 cents for candy wrappers, cups left in other rooms and not put back in the sink, socks or clothes left in the living room or bathroom... etc. I was picking up after kids for a few hours a day, but the deduction system seems to be working. So far, neither of the kids have dropped down below $3.50 for a week, so we have had only minor infractions. When they see their allowance drop incrementally, they really do try harder.
 

kms

Cyburbian
Messages
5,902
Points
31
I have great success at witholding electronics priveleges.

A couple of weeks ago, during a time that we were getting ready for some major sewer line repairs, my daughter gave me a hard time about cleaning the kitchen. I became so angry and tired of the argument that I threatened her with having to dig the sewer trench by hand if she continued to be so uncooperative and disagreeable. 150 feet of sewer line. She stopped arguing and went to work on the kitchen.

Bless her, though. She was a great help with stripping and sanding the hardwood floors last week.
 

SW MI Planner

Cyburbian
Messages
3,195
Points
26
Not there (yet), but I can tell you something my parents did to me that I hated. It was stupid, and it didn't accomplish anything. I was, and still am, a very picky eater. So, there were a couple times (I was 8-10ish) that I didn't finish my meal (once it was chili, the other steak) and my mom tried making me sit there until I ate it. All she did was fuel my stubborn streak. I ended up walking away both times without eating the rest of it, but had to sit there a couple hours. My sister ended up eating some of it for me.

I will NEVER do that to my kid. If they don't like it, they don't like it. Geesh.
 

Cardinal

Cyburbian
Messages
10,080
Points
34
Queen B,

Your husband sounds pretty ingenious (and devious). Can he come up with a way to keep my assistant from constantly turning up the thermostat?
 

SGB

Cyburbian
Messages
3,387
Points
25
We find that we negotiate finishing dinner with our near 4 year old most nights. It typically goes something like this:

Us: Finish your dinner.

Him: This many bites? [Holds up two fingers]

Us: No. Five bites. [Hold up five fingers]

Him: This many? [Two fingers]

Us: No. This many. [5]

Him: This many? [2]

Us: No. All of it.

Him: OK. [Finishes his dinner]

It's a brief, but fun, exercise in collaborative decision making!
 

donk

Cyburbian
Messages
6,970
Points
30
I will NEVER do that to my kid
Famous last words....

On the food front, we were able to identify a few things that we would not eat, everything else you had to have a no thank you helping (1/4 serving). it really impresses people when they invite me for diner and I eat everything put in front of me and don't comment on foods I don't like.
 

Duke Of Dystopia

Cyburbian
Messages
2,713
Points
24
Remember

You are doing it the hard way. Payback is the key, Punishment is not the point, and extra effort on your part is uncalled for.

You need to be smarter and more clever than your kids. If you take the electronics away using your method, you have wasted a lot of time and effort when they will go to a friend’s house to get it, "issue bypassed.” Or they will go swimming, "issue bypassed", or some such other. Net loss for you on the imagination.

Do not get even, GET EVIL!

For instance, every time my oldest son "Forgets" his school work or some such nonsense, I do not get mad or punish myself by wasting time or effort. I wait for that perfect opportunity to make his life a living hell without even having to get nasty. I do this by "Forgetting" to tell him that he has to do something just before he goes to play (like carrying 10 bags of groceries up 2 flights of stairs), until it is done, he stays. Do not forget to taunt them and or laugh at them as they try to accomplish their goals, let them know you have been waiting for this moment because of their lack of effort and won’t be deterred. They will remember the next time you ask them to do something. If you get mad and yell, the kids win. If you get the kids to do the job, you win. This method is also likely to get them to laugh about it as they perform the penalty. Make the penalty fit the offense. Also, be consistent so you are believable.

Sooner or later they will want something from you, and then you got them by the short hairs. Its fun, fast, and the linkage through time makes them connect actions to future consequences.

I love my kids dearly, I refuse to be the parent that would spank them or punish myself, but I have deep reserves of imagination, and I know how to get evil :)
 

Duke Of Dystopia

Cyburbian
Messages
2,713
Points
24
Link the eating of food to other things.

My son wants to stay up late to watch dinosaurs on the Discover channel. He had to eat some food he didn't want to even try to do it. I just wanted to see the effort to try it.

He ate 2/3's of what I asked, that was enough for me and he got to see his show.

He now likes that food

If they wont try it, they don't get what they want.
If they do it, both of you get what you want.
Just be firmly indifferent and let them decide how it ends :)
 

Chet

Cyburbian Emeritus
Messages
10,624
Points
34
Michael Stumpf said:
Can he come up with a way to keep my assistant from constantly turning up the thermostat?
Mike, the "change" can only be overcome with time.
 

kms

Cyburbian
Messages
5,902
Points
31
SW MI Oh remember that penalty. Chili, tomato soup. Things I still don't eat. And I don't do that to my kids. I found out that kids eat just what they need, even you don't agree with the what it is and how much.
 

Mastiff

Gunfighter
Messages
7,181
Points
30
Michael Stumpf said:
Queen B,

Your husband sounds pretty ingenious (and devious). Can he come up with a way to keep my assistant from constantly turning up the thermostat?
Amputate his fingers... (Or should this be in another threrad?)
 

pete-rock

Cyburbian
Messages
1,551
Points
24
Re: Remember

Duke Of Dystopia said:
For instance, every time my oldest son "Forgets" his school work or some such nonsense, I do not get mad or punish myself by wasting time or effort. I wait for that perfect opportunity to make his life a living hell without even having to get nasty. I do this by "Forgetting" to tell him that he has to do something just before he goes to play (like carrying 10 bags of groceries up 2 flights of stairs), until it is done, he stays. Do not forget to taunt them and or laugh at them as they try to accomplish their goals, let them know you have been waiting for this moment because of their lack of effort and won’t be deterred. Sooner or later they will want something from you, and then you got them by the short hairs. Its fun, fast, and the linkage through time makes them connect actions to future consequences.
My Dad's preferred method of punishment. If the trash was to be picked up the next morning, and I didn't put it out the night before, he wouldn't remind me that evening. No, he would wake me up at 2am and say, "put the trash out now!"

I use it on my kids, too.
 

nerudite

Cyburbian
Messages
6,544
Points
30
SW MI Planner said:
I will NEVER do that to my kid. If they don't like it, they don't like it. Geesh.
I would like to revisit this in five years. ;) We have a 10 year old girl who is as picky as they come. She likes spaghetti, but no other pasta (not the sauce... just the type of pasta). I'm sorry, but that's just stupid. What is really the difference between linguini, penne or spaghetti if they all have the same sauce? There are so many little nuances to her preferences that it becomes annoying.

The other day, she says she's "starving"... and asked if she could have a snack. It's 30 minutes to dinner, so the answer is no. We sit down to dinner and she only eats her potatoes and leaves the rest. I made everything plain so I know she would eat it. Plain chicken, plain veggies, etc. And then she could add whatever she wants on top. Nope... still doesn't eat it. And it's prepared the same exact way as when she orders these same meals at a restaurant. She's just difficult. So I have now taken to saving all of the food she doesn't eat, putting it in a tuperware and for the next few days when she is "starving" and wants a snack... I pull out portions of the dinner. We'll see how this tactic works... since I've only been doing it for about four days now, and she's turned down most of my offers of feeding her the dinner for snacks.
 

SW MI Planner

Cyburbian
Messages
3,195
Points
26
I would like to revisit this in five years.
I know, I know, I know :) As Donk said - famous last words. I've heard of kids getting into phases like only eating yellow foods and lots of crazy stuff. But I was between 8-10 years of age, and never liked chili or steak for my entire young little life, and still to this day hate chili and rarely eat steak. I can see if the child is just being difficult and not wanting to eat something they usually eat, but again, if they don't like it they don't like it!!

Other than the food thing, we never really got into trouble or had restrictions. My parents believed in spanking and we knew they wouldn't hesitate to spank us if we were rotten. I was only spanked once or twice, but the fear of it kept us pretty good.
 

giff57

Corn Burning Fool
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
5,406
Points
32
Michael Stumpf said:
Queen B,

Your husband sounds pretty ingenious (and devious). Can he come up with a way to keep my assistant from constantly turning up the thermostat?
Buy them a sweater, I did that once.

I hate when they do that.... It was really bad at my last job, after I had given my notice, she didn't even try to be sneaky about it then. Now that I am the boss they don't mess with it.
 

PlannerGirl

Cyburbian Plus
Messages
6,377
Points
29
my dad would put me on phone restriction

how did he do this? he went outside to the box and pulled the plug. They were happy to get rid of the phone and to see me suffer i think


my parents also did the sit at the table till you eat it thing-my sister and i just made the point of going to sleep in the food. so them mom tried to force us to eat it-we made sure to throw up whatever green thing it was in her livingroom.

hehe yes we were evil and could make our bodies do strange things on command
 

Cardinal

Cyburbian
Messages
10,080
Points
34
PlannerGirl said:
hehe yes we were evil and could make our bodies do strange things on command
LOL. And now you make other people do things on command?


YOU PEOPLE ARE EVIL!

I love it!
 

Seabishop

Cyburbian
Messages
3,838
Points
25
I'm in for a good 15 years of eating problems. My 3 year old barely eats anything. We've tried everything - she doesn't care. In her mind she only eats about 4 things. We don't let her eat junkfood all day but nothing gets her to try new things. Her health and bloodwork are good. So far her little sister is a piggy.
 

Queen B

Cyburbian
Messages
3,179
Points
25
This is my second set of children so there are two other consiquences I can think of that were interesting.

My step son would not take out the cat box. We tried everything that we could think of, he was 15. Brought his girlfriend home and found the cat box in his bed. It had gone so long that it had maggots in it. I know, we thought that was horrible too! Never a problem again!

My daughter liked to get mad and stomp off to her room and crank the stereo till the house shook. One day while she was gone we checked for the correct breaker and predictable as a clock she got mad raced upstair and cranked her stereo, we got up and cut off her electric. That never happened any more.
 

PlannerGirl

Cyburbian Plus
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6,377
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29
Thank you Michael ill take that in the best of ways ;-)

Queen B you been talking to my dad or something? sounds like something he would have tried
 

Zoning Goddess

Cyburbian
Messages
13,853
Points
39
My ex- once placed his son on phone restriction, then bought a machine at Radio Shack that ran a tape listing every incoming and outgoing call. He let it run for a week, then asked the kid if he'd used the phone. When he got the expected "no", he pulled out the tape. Kid's reaction: priceless.

Same kid, playing stereo WAY too loud when we were out, and annoying the neighbors. We cut a hole in a wooden box and locked the plug at the end of the stereo cord in the box, and only unlocked it when we got home.

My son was goofing off on his chores, repeatedly, so one day I sent him out back to cut the lawn with manicure scissors. I let him work on that for about 20 minutes before I let him know it was a joke.
 

LouisvilleSlugger

Cyburbian
Messages
216
Points
9
interesting topic!!!! the cat and mouse game. the things parents can do to restrict things and their attempts at overcoming it. haha. some of these stories are really good.
 

Jen

Cyburbian
Messages
1,704
Points
25
Eating issues,hooboy.My 7 yo is pickier now then when she was a toddler. Just about every night I cook rice or noodles so she'll eat something besides olives and cottage cheese. I really prefer not make the dining hour a power struggle. And I prefer if the kids are mostly silent at the table so my husband and I can talk. Quiet and in their seats, they can eat whatever and as much as they want. And dessert is not a given.

Now my folks would do the must eat all your food before being excused schtick, peas, or chipped beef or scrapple back then I would've eaten paper instead if it was allowed. Not too crazy bout chipped beef now, but sweet peas I love and scrapple too, who cares what's in it ,it's good!

And I hear ya Nerudite I can make homemade ovenbaked or fried chicken nuggets, much better than the offal at BK or McD's and still the 7yo will not like it! THough, finally finally she is eating carrots(raw and peeled) and spinach if I chop it up and put it in white rice. My 4yo bless her heart will attack a drumstick with vigor, chomps steak or porkchops, and is easily fooled to eat veggies as long as they are disguised. Unlike her sister who has actually taken a magnifying glass to her spaghetti sauce to see if broccoli was in it. It was, but now she eats broccolli, steamed soft and then only the crowns. BUt not in sauce of anykind. And what kids do not like homemade mac n cheese? Mine! Only the box stuff with powdered cheese for them.
 

Zoning Goddess

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Eating issues: as a toddler, my son was hooked on the Richard Scarry videos. When he was about 18 mos., I cooked a big pot of broccoli and told him we were having Huckle Cat's favorite veggie for dinner. He ran into the dining room screaming "Broccoli, broccoli" and proceeded to eat two bowls ful, plain. After that I learned to relate new foods to characters on t.v. or in books and it never failed. He's never been a picky eater and would rather have peas than cookies. His only vice is chocolate ice cream, he'd eat it for breakfast if I'd let him (and I admit I have, at times...). Taking away his chocolate ice cream for a few days works better than any other restriction.
 

Queen B

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I should update today that the children not only had picked up the house nicely but they also baked a cake to apologize for their behavior and said they were sorry and they would try harder.
Dad buckled and gave them back TV, still no computer, and they can go swimming, it is just to darned hot! We definately got their attention.
 

Super Amputee Cat

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I'm glad to read here that none of you are giving your kids cell phones. It's a good thing because I'm ready to rip somebody's head off.
 

Zoning Goddess

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39
Super Amputee Cat said:
I'm glad to read here that none of you are giving your kids cell phones. It's a good thing because I'm ready to rip somebody's head off.
Funny you should mention that. My ten-year-old has been asking for one. I tell him I don't need to watch comedies any more because that's the funniest thing I've ever heard. Then he pouts.

I'm also having to explain to him about parents who give their elementary age kids $20 for an "A" and the same for a lost tooth, then my kid wants the same. AAAAGGHH!
 

giff57

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Zoning Goddess said:


I'm also having to explain to him about parents who give their elementary age kids $20 for an "A" and the same for a lost tooth, then my kid wants the same. AAAAGGHH!
I got the same thing. I told him I would give him $50 a semester for a B average and $100 for an A average, and PE didn't count. I paid the $50 out a couple of times. Now that he is in middle school he gets $100 for the A and no sports if he doesn't get a B average.
 

Jen

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Queen B said:
I should update today that the children not only had picked up the house nicely but they also baked a cake to apologize for their behavior and said they were sorry and they would try harder.
Dad buckled and gave them back TV, still no computer, and they can go swimming, it is just to darned hot! We definately got their attention.
uh-oh, watch out there might be a brick in that cake!
 

Super Amputee Cat

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Zoning Goddess said:
Funny you should mention that. My ten-year-old has been asking for one. I tell him I don't need to watch comedies any more because that's the funniest thing I've ever heard. Then he pouts.

I'm also having to explain to him about parents who give their elementary age kids $20 for an "A" and the same for a lost tooth, then my kid wants the same. AAAAGGHH!
$20 for a friggin' tooth! Give me a break. I think we got a quarter every time we lost a tooth.

These are the same brain-dead parents that are giving their kids $50 a week allowance. I remember my dad giving us each a nickel for every year old we were. When I was 11, I got 55 cents!

No wonder these no-talent, brain-dead pop stars like Britney Spears are selling so many CDs. They're guarenteed a never-ending influx cash from 13 years olds with $50 bills. Makes me sick.
 

Zoning Goddess

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Super Amputee, I feel the same way. For a good report card, my son is rewarded with a dinner out at Olive Garden with me and his grandma. Seems more meaningful and traditional than $$$. Heck, we'd probably do the same if he had a bad card, just cuz it's the tradition now.
 

kms

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We reward good report cars with a new cd, or an item of clothing. A lost tooth is worth 25 - 50 cents, a dollar if it was lost because brother stuck his foot in your mouth and the tooth came out with the foot. :) Yes, it happened. no, it wasn't really a kick.

My daughter keeps aking for her own cell phone. She doesn't see that she doesn't get far enough from me or another parent to require one, except for going to the movies. In that case, she can carry mine.

Funny, 6 years ago, in second grade, she told me that one of her classmates got tickets to a Chicago Bulls game for Christmas. From SW PA, that would include a hotel room and most likely a plane trip for this family of four. What must these parents give their kids when they are old enough to know the value of all these extravagant gifts?
 

H

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kms said:
We reward good report cars with a new cd, or an item of clothing. A lost tooth is worth 25 - 50 cents, a dollar if it was lost because brother stuck his foot in your mouth and the tooth came out with the foot. :) Yes, it happened. no, it wasn't really a kick.
My dad used to tie a string to my tooth and the other end to the door knob, then we would salm the door. I loved it, thought it was so cool. I supose if I did this today to a future child of mine I would get in trouble. too bad. It was fun.
 

Zoning Goddess

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Huston said:
My dad used to tie a string to my tooth and the other end to the door knob, then we would salm the door. I loved it, thought it was so cool. I supose if I did this today to a future child of mine I would get in trouble. too bad. It was fun.
My older sister used to do that to torture me, but I got the last gap-toothed laugh. I got a quarter, she got grounded.
 
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