- Messages
- 7,649
- Points
- 29
Pity Party, that is.
I have just been informed by my husband that I have not taught any math to my kids for the last 5 1/2 years of homeschooling, they are Loozers who will never amount to anything because I am such an irresponsible individual who allowed them to drop out of elementary school... and a few zillion other old, unresolved arguments.
These conversations always feel like an episode of The Twilight Zone. It makes me question if I actually was inducted into Mu Alpha Theta at age 16 in 11th grade. It makes me wonder if I have hallucinated the homeschooling website that grew in response to "popular demand" for my advice. It makes me feel like I must have been trippin' on acid when I had all those fantasies that total strangers kept asking me to write a math book and that I have more math stuff on my website than probably anything else because I got sick and tired of forwarding the same e-mails and teaching the same basics in math to college educated (and usually gifted themselves) parents who couldn't figure out what to do with Kids Like Mine.
Oh, yeah: He has informed me that my oldest child is NOT handicapped. I guess I should cancel his next doctor's appointment at the children's pulmonary clinic in another city. God, I have all those doctors fooled too.
Someone please Kick Me. It might make me feel better.
Now, back to your regularly scheduled NPR programming about Budgie's Love Life and Dan's Dating Advice on how to be a Player and el Guapo the Peacenik Liberal on how to show proper respect for our misunderstood friends in the middle east. Our Guest Speaker will be Cardinal and his anti-nature lecture.
EDIT: Oh, I have thought of a few more: Habanero will teach us the art of stuffing a bra and making the most of a boyish figure, ZG will give tips on how to shop for tall women, and TIO, our Spanish Uncle, will enlighten us on his Ethnic heritage and give the next lesson in Spanish.
Any others???
I have just been informed by my husband that I have not taught any math to my kids for the last 5 1/2 years of homeschooling, they are Loozers who will never amount to anything because I am such an irresponsible individual who allowed them to drop out of elementary school... and a few zillion other old, unresolved arguments.
These conversations always feel like an episode of The Twilight Zone. It makes me question if I actually was inducted into Mu Alpha Theta at age 16 in 11th grade. It makes me wonder if I have hallucinated the homeschooling website that grew in response to "popular demand" for my advice. It makes me feel like I must have been trippin' on acid when I had all those fantasies that total strangers kept asking me to write a math book and that I have more math stuff on my website than probably anything else because I got sick and tired of forwarding the same e-mails and teaching the same basics in math to college educated (and usually gifted themselves) parents who couldn't figure out what to do with Kids Like Mine.
Oh, yeah: He has informed me that my oldest child is NOT handicapped. I guess I should cancel his next doctor's appointment at the children's pulmonary clinic in another city. God, I have all those doctors fooled too.
Someone please Kick Me. It might make me feel better.
Now, back to your regularly scheduled NPR programming about Budgie's Love Life and Dan's Dating Advice on how to be a Player and el Guapo the Peacenik Liberal on how to show proper respect for our misunderstood friends in the middle east. Our Guest Speaker will be Cardinal and his anti-nature lecture.
EDIT: Oh, I have thought of a few more: Habanero will teach us the art of stuffing a bra and making the most of a boyish figure, ZG will give tips on how to shop for tall women, and TIO, our Spanish Uncle, will enlighten us on his Ethnic heritage and give the next lesson in Spanish.
Any others???
Last edited: